Waking Up, chapter 17
Gemma was gone when Billie woke up. He tried hard not to be surprised. Instead, he found his way home and slept again.
He was woken up by his cell going off much to close to his ear for comfort.
"What do you want?" he growled, sitting up.
"Well. That was nice. No 'good afternoon, how may I help you? ' for me?"
"Who is this?" he asked, sitting up.
"Ella." She responded.
"Oh."
"I talked to Adrienne. Then we met for lunch and--"
"You talked to her? Is she okay?" he interrupted, suddenly anxious to know how she was.
"Yep. She's much better than I thought she might be. So is Joey and Jakob. Anyway, she's gonna move back in with you,"
"How did you do that?"
"Told her that you were killing yourself slowly."
"What?!" Billie finally woke up.
"Just kidding. It wasn't hard. Just meet her at Rudy's,"
"Okay... "
"Bye," and she hung up.
Slamming his car door shut, Billie walked in to Mike's little café.
Adie was sitting in little corner booth, playing with a coffee mug.
"Hey," he said nervously, sitting down. She looked up. Billie felt his stomach flip unpleasantly.
"Hi. Ella called. She... Apologized. I'm going to meet her and Jacinthe for dinner later... "
"Oh. Good."
Silence sat heavy on them.
"I'm sorry." Billie mumbled, looking at his hands.
"Huh?" Adrienne looked confused.
"For... Everything. Ella, leaving so much... " His chest caught, and he didn't look up.
She just watched her husband for a moment. "I'm not forgiving you. You swore that you wouldn't. And I trusted you." She sighed and grabbed Billie's hand. "I love you. And I know you love me too... I want to be with you, but if you don't--"
"What?!" Billie spluttered. "Of course I do! I mean... " he stopped, looking at Adie's face.
She looked tired and sad. Even alone.
"I need to go." She said quickly. She got up and left the café.
Billie watched his wife drive away and his heart shatter. Sick, he got up too.
Ella sat with Jacie beside her. Jacinthe was fidgeting, but Ella didn't notice. She was lost in her thoughts.
An hour later, when Adie had still not come, they left the restaurant. Instead, they went to Rudy's.
They were nearly done with dinner when Billie sat down at their table without even greeting them.
"Have you seen a waitress?" he asked, ignoring Ella's blatant stare.
"Hey daddy," Jacie said shyly.
"Hey. How was school?"
Ella was dumbfounded.
Jacie made a sour face, looking exactly like Billie. "It was fine."
"Can I talk to you?" Ella asked through gritted teeth, seizing his arm and dragging him away from the table. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
"Being a father," Billie responded, shrugging.
"Why?"
"Because that's what I am," He said, in the same relaxed tone.
"Do you know you're driving me crazy?" she asked.
"Yeah. I got that idea."
"Ugh." She stamped her foot. "Look, you are not--"
"Woah!" said a cheerful voice behind them. Turning, they found Tre grinning at them. "Am I missing something?"
Ella laughed and let go of Billie. "How are you?" she hugged him tightly.
Tre just rose his eyebrows at Billie over Ella's shoulder. Hugging her back, "I'm good," he said, as she released him.
"Good." She turned back to Billie. "I have to get back to Jacie."
And she walked away.
"What was that?" Billie asked, staring after her.
Tre shrugged. "I don't know. But she looks really good... "
Billie gave him a look. "She's going through a lot right now."
"And? She obviously needs someone... " Tre said, grinning mischievously.
Billie rolled his eyes and ignored the jealousy growing in him.
Ella and a sleeping Jacinthe sat across from Tre and Mike. Billie had left a while ago.
"What were you doing in Hawaii anyway?" Mike asked kindly.
"Having a loooooong vacation," Ella said, looking down at Jacie's head in her lap. "I missed a lot of... Ana and Jacie."
Mike just nodded.
Tre continued watching Ella carefully. "You're different," he said suddenly.
Ella paused for a second then laughed. "Indeed. Since we last really knew each other, it was... What, nine, ten years ago? I had another kid. Of course I'm different."
"Oh. Well I know... It's just that you're... I dunno." Tre blushed and looked down at the table.
"Well... I should probably go home. I'm tired and... I'm getting old."
"Like hell. But yeah, I should probably too. I'm just not motivated to get up," Ella laughed.
Mike grinned and said his goodbyes and left.
And left a discomfited silence.
"This is going to sound so fucking stupid... But Billie said something about you having a gallery...." Tre said, coughing.
"Yeah. I used to. In New York. Me and friend, Natalie did it. I did the art and she organized it all." She smiled. "I loved it... "
"You didn't stay though."
"No."
"Why?" Tre asked, softer.
"Because. It was like life was folding around me. I had no chance. Everything was happening without me. And I had to catch up. And I have." She grinned. "These last few days... Have been really good. Apart from the whole Adie and Billie thing."
"Yeah. Weren't you and Adie supposed to meet?"
Ella nodded. "But she didn't turn up. I'm kinda afraid... I love Adie. She is one of the best women I know... "
Tre frowned. "How can you say that?"
"What do you mean?"
"You don't even know her. And she's married to the man you love."
"Doesn't matter. She stays at home with two children while her husband is swooned over by hundreds of teenagers. And she understands. She tries hard to trust Billie... But his past isn't the most encouraging." Ella gulped down the tears burning her throat.
"You don't get it." Tre said irritably, shoving up from the table. "It's not like Adrienne is the most trustworthy person either." His face was red, his fists clenched.
"Wha... What?" Completely shocked, Ella just sat there, watching one of the happiest people she knew blow up.
"She doesn't understand. She hates that girls love Billie. She hates you. She hates you. And always will. Because you're just one more person to take Billie away." Watching Ella face crumple, he sat down. People stared at him. "Look, she... Nevermind. The fact is that she will never accept you. Ever."
Ella felt tears drop from her over-flowing eyes. "I want her to know I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Tre put his hand over hers. At her confused expression, he looked away. "I can't tell you."
Ella just nodded. "I need to go. Now."
Tre watched her leave, and while his heart and mind ran after her, his body stayed as if glued to the seat.
"Billie, I want a divorce."
Billie looked up from his guitar. "Why?" he asked feebly, all feeling draining from him.
"Because. It never really worked. You and me." Adrienne said, slowly.
"Of course it did." He tried to hug her but she just backed away more. "You can't call ten years of marriage not working." He added impatiently.
"Eleven."
"Huh?"
"We've been married eleven years. I know. But it isn't working anymore... "
"You aren't kidding."
Adie shook her head, tears coursing down her face gradually. "No."
"You want it to end. All of it.
She nodded slowly.
"Can you leave me? Alone?"
"Yes."
Gemma sat on the beach, hugging her knees to her chest against the cold wind.
She knew who the short guy walking toward her was, and she didn't mind.
"Hey," Billie said as he sat down next to her.
"How did you find me?"
"I didn't. You were just in the same place."
"Right. So. What's wrong now?" she asked, glancing at his bloodshot eyes.
"Life."
"That's an easy answer. But no. I was looking for a better one than that."
"Divorce."
"Gotcha. Well... I dunno. I don't know how you didn't see it coming." She said mercilessly.
"I know. I want her to be happy."
Gemma felt her insides warm up at that. She loved that. The sappy shit that belonged on those awful movies. She was a hopeless romantic.
"She knows."
"Hopefully. And Ella tried to fix it all. She came back. For a while. With Jacie." Billie grinned. "I'm gonna finally get to know my daughter."
"You think Jakob and Joseph too, though, right?"
"I can't not think about them."
"Double negative."
"Shove it."
"But you have to think about them too. They have to deal with the divorce, just like you and Adie."
Billie nodded, watching Gemma stare into the ocean. Reaching over, he gently touched her face, turning it to his and kissed it, ever so softly.
"You can't do that." Gemma said in a raggedy voice.
Billie just nodded again.
Kissing her just once more, he got up and walked down the beach.
He didn't go to his house. He went to find Ella's hotel.
After locating the little hotel/motel-looking thing and the room, he headed up. He knocked once. Then twice. Then three times. On the four knock, someone came to the door. But it wasn't Ella.
It was Tre. He was in his boxers and frizzed out hair. He looked just as surprised to find Billie there.
"Uh. Hey."
"What are you doing here?" Billie asked, his stomach sinking to the tips of his toes.
"I stayed here last night."
Billie continued to look at him.
"Nothing happened, okay? So stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like... that"
A voice came from inside the room, "Tre, who is it?"
"Billie."
"Oh. 'kay. Is he coming in?"
Tre looked at Billie for a second. And stepped out of the doorway.
There was one queen bed and couch, which Jacie was sprawled on. Billie threw Tre a look. Tre just looked back. Ella was still in bed, her eyes closed.
"Adrienne asked for a divorce. Last night."
Ella opened her eyes. Tre just stared.
"Are you shitting me?" Tre demanded.
Billie shook his head mournfully.
"Fuck."
"Is she completely sure?" Ella asked, her eyebrows raised.
"Yes."
"Look, can we talk about this later? I cannot keep my eyes open. And I feel awful about blowing you off but... "
"Yeah, that's okay." Billie said, heading toward the door. Tre followed him outside. "Something happened between you two," was the first thing out of Billie's mouth.
"I know. I didn't really mean for it to, but... It did."
"Were you drunk?"
"No. I came over late and we just talked for a while and... "
"Tre, I'm going to get a divorce."
"I know."
"I want to marry Ella."
He was woken up by his cell going off much to close to his ear for comfort.
"What do you want?" he growled, sitting up.
"Well. That was nice. No 'good afternoon, how may I help you? ' for me?"
"Who is this?" he asked, sitting up.
"Ella." She responded.
"Oh."
"I talked to Adrienne. Then we met for lunch and--"
"You talked to her? Is she okay?" he interrupted, suddenly anxious to know how she was.
"Yep. She's much better than I thought she might be. So is Joey and Jakob. Anyway, she's gonna move back in with you,"
"How did you do that?"
"Told her that you were killing yourself slowly."
"What?!" Billie finally woke up.
"Just kidding. It wasn't hard. Just meet her at Rudy's,"
"Okay... "
"Bye," and she hung up.
Slamming his car door shut, Billie walked in to Mike's little café.
Adie was sitting in little corner booth, playing with a coffee mug.
"Hey," he said nervously, sitting down. She looked up. Billie felt his stomach flip unpleasantly.
"Hi. Ella called. She... Apologized. I'm going to meet her and Jacinthe for dinner later... "
"Oh. Good."
Silence sat heavy on them.
"I'm sorry." Billie mumbled, looking at his hands.
"Huh?" Adrienne looked confused.
"For... Everything. Ella, leaving so much... " His chest caught, and he didn't look up.
She just watched her husband for a moment. "I'm not forgiving you. You swore that you wouldn't. And I trusted you." She sighed and grabbed Billie's hand. "I love you. And I know you love me too... I want to be with you, but if you don't--"
"What?!" Billie spluttered. "Of course I do! I mean... " he stopped, looking at Adie's face.
She looked tired and sad. Even alone.
"I need to go." She said quickly. She got up and left the café.
Billie watched his wife drive away and his heart shatter. Sick, he got up too.
Ella sat with Jacie beside her. Jacinthe was fidgeting, but Ella didn't notice. She was lost in her thoughts.
An hour later, when Adie had still not come, they left the restaurant. Instead, they went to Rudy's.
They were nearly done with dinner when Billie sat down at their table without even greeting them.
"Have you seen a waitress?" he asked, ignoring Ella's blatant stare.
"Hey daddy," Jacie said shyly.
"Hey. How was school?"
Ella was dumbfounded.
Jacie made a sour face, looking exactly like Billie. "It was fine."
"Can I talk to you?" Ella asked through gritted teeth, seizing his arm and dragging him away from the table. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
"Being a father," Billie responded, shrugging.
"Why?"
"Because that's what I am," He said, in the same relaxed tone.
"Do you know you're driving me crazy?" she asked.
"Yeah. I got that idea."
"Ugh." She stamped her foot. "Look, you are not--"
"Woah!" said a cheerful voice behind them. Turning, they found Tre grinning at them. "Am I missing something?"
Ella laughed and let go of Billie. "How are you?" she hugged him tightly.
Tre just rose his eyebrows at Billie over Ella's shoulder. Hugging her back, "I'm good," he said, as she released him.
"Good." She turned back to Billie. "I have to get back to Jacie."
And she walked away.
"What was that?" Billie asked, staring after her.
Tre shrugged. "I don't know. But she looks really good... "
Billie gave him a look. "She's going through a lot right now."
"And? She obviously needs someone... " Tre said, grinning mischievously.
Billie rolled his eyes and ignored the jealousy growing in him.
Ella and a sleeping Jacinthe sat across from Tre and Mike. Billie had left a while ago.
"What were you doing in Hawaii anyway?" Mike asked kindly.
"Having a loooooong vacation," Ella said, looking down at Jacie's head in her lap. "I missed a lot of... Ana and Jacie."
Mike just nodded.
Tre continued watching Ella carefully. "You're different," he said suddenly.
Ella paused for a second then laughed. "Indeed. Since we last really knew each other, it was... What, nine, ten years ago? I had another kid. Of course I'm different."
"Oh. Well I know... It's just that you're... I dunno." Tre blushed and looked down at the table.
"Well... I should probably go home. I'm tired and... I'm getting old."
"Like hell. But yeah, I should probably too. I'm just not motivated to get up," Ella laughed.
Mike grinned and said his goodbyes and left.
And left a discomfited silence.
"This is going to sound so fucking stupid... But Billie said something about you having a gallery...." Tre said, coughing.
"Yeah. I used to. In New York. Me and friend, Natalie did it. I did the art and she organized it all." She smiled. "I loved it... "
"You didn't stay though."
"No."
"Why?" Tre asked, softer.
"Because. It was like life was folding around me. I had no chance. Everything was happening without me. And I had to catch up. And I have." She grinned. "These last few days... Have been really good. Apart from the whole Adie and Billie thing."
"Yeah. Weren't you and Adie supposed to meet?"
Ella nodded. "But she didn't turn up. I'm kinda afraid... I love Adie. She is one of the best women I know... "
Tre frowned. "How can you say that?"
"What do you mean?"
"You don't even know her. And she's married to the man you love."
"Doesn't matter. She stays at home with two children while her husband is swooned over by hundreds of teenagers. And she understands. She tries hard to trust Billie... But his past isn't the most encouraging." Ella gulped down the tears burning her throat.
"You don't get it." Tre said irritably, shoving up from the table. "It's not like Adrienne is the most trustworthy person either." His face was red, his fists clenched.
"Wha... What?" Completely shocked, Ella just sat there, watching one of the happiest people she knew blow up.
"She doesn't understand. She hates that girls love Billie. She hates you. She hates you. And always will. Because you're just one more person to take Billie away." Watching Ella face crumple, he sat down. People stared at him. "Look, she... Nevermind. The fact is that she will never accept you. Ever."
Ella felt tears drop from her over-flowing eyes. "I want her to know I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Tre put his hand over hers. At her confused expression, he looked away. "I can't tell you."
Ella just nodded. "I need to go. Now."
Tre watched her leave, and while his heart and mind ran after her, his body stayed as if glued to the seat.
"Billie, I want a divorce."
Billie looked up from his guitar. "Why?" he asked feebly, all feeling draining from him.
"Because. It never really worked. You and me." Adrienne said, slowly.
"Of course it did." He tried to hug her but she just backed away more. "You can't call ten years of marriage not working." He added impatiently.
"Eleven."
"Huh?"
"We've been married eleven years. I know. But it isn't working anymore... "
"You aren't kidding."
Adie shook her head, tears coursing down her face gradually. "No."
"You want it to end. All of it.
She nodded slowly.
"Can you leave me? Alone?"
"Yes."
Gemma sat on the beach, hugging her knees to her chest against the cold wind.
She knew who the short guy walking toward her was, and she didn't mind.
"Hey," Billie said as he sat down next to her.
"How did you find me?"
"I didn't. You were just in the same place."
"Right. So. What's wrong now?" she asked, glancing at his bloodshot eyes.
"Life."
"That's an easy answer. But no. I was looking for a better one than that."
"Divorce."
"Gotcha. Well... I dunno. I don't know how you didn't see it coming." She said mercilessly.
"I know. I want her to be happy."
Gemma felt her insides warm up at that. She loved that. The sappy shit that belonged on those awful movies. She was a hopeless romantic.
"She knows."
"Hopefully. And Ella tried to fix it all. She came back. For a while. With Jacie." Billie grinned. "I'm gonna finally get to know my daughter."
"You think Jakob and Joseph too, though, right?"
"I can't not think about them."
"Double negative."
"Shove it."
"But you have to think about them too. They have to deal with the divorce, just like you and Adie."
Billie nodded, watching Gemma stare into the ocean. Reaching over, he gently touched her face, turning it to his and kissed it, ever so softly.
"You can't do that." Gemma said in a raggedy voice.
Billie just nodded again.
Kissing her just once more, he got up and walked down the beach.
He didn't go to his house. He went to find Ella's hotel.
After locating the little hotel/motel-looking thing and the room, he headed up. He knocked once. Then twice. Then three times. On the four knock, someone came to the door. But it wasn't Ella.
It was Tre. He was in his boxers and frizzed out hair. He looked just as surprised to find Billie there.
"Uh. Hey."
"What are you doing here?" Billie asked, his stomach sinking to the tips of his toes.
"I stayed here last night."
Billie continued to look at him.
"Nothing happened, okay? So stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like... that"
A voice came from inside the room, "Tre, who is it?"
"Billie."
"Oh. 'kay. Is he coming in?"
Tre looked at Billie for a second. And stepped out of the doorway.
There was one queen bed and couch, which Jacie was sprawled on. Billie threw Tre a look. Tre just looked back. Ella was still in bed, her eyes closed.
"Adrienne asked for a divorce. Last night."
Ella opened her eyes. Tre just stared.
"Are you shitting me?" Tre demanded.
Billie shook his head mournfully.
"Fuck."
"Is she completely sure?" Ella asked, her eyebrows raised.
"Yes."
"Look, can we talk about this later? I cannot keep my eyes open. And I feel awful about blowing you off but... "
"Yeah, that's okay." Billie said, heading toward the door. Tre followed him outside. "Something happened between you two," was the first thing out of Billie's mouth.
"I know. I didn't really mean for it to, but... It did."
"Were you drunk?"
"No. I came over late and we just talked for a while and... "
"Tre, I'm going to get a divorce."
"I know."
"I want to marry Ella."
