Waking Up, chapter 18
"Billie..." Said Tre in an exasperated tone. "She's just barely getting over you."
"I haven't gotten over her... "
"I know."
"She probably doesn't even love me. Or Adie. Or Gemma. I'm like this stupid old man--"
"Wait, wait, wait. Who's Gemma?" Tre asked, looking curious.
"Just a girl... "
"You said the same thing when you met Adie, you know."
Billie just sighed. "She's way to young."
Tre looked sideways at him. "How young?"
"Very. Like twenty."
"Shit."
"Yeah."
"Ella said she loved you. Still. And that she shouldn't have... Slept with me." Tre said calmly.
Billie felt his face turn red and his heart beat funny. "Seriously?"
"Yes." Tre said, looking irritated. "It's not the best thing to hear after you had sex with a woman you've loved for a long time."
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. And you shouldn't be. Because you both love each other. And that's something nobody can touch."
"Cheesy bastard."
"That I am."
Adrienne lay next to him, breathing in his delicious aroma, knowing she shouldn't. And somehow, that just wasn't what she wanted anymore.
"This has to stop."
Tom opened his eyes wearily. "What?"
"This."
He didn't answer.
"It's not... okay."
"But... Adie, you're getting a divorce."
"I know. It's not fair though. To anybody. To you, to the kids.... Or to me."
"I don't get you sometimes. I love you."
"Tom... It's not ever going to work. I loved you too, it's just that--"
He got out of bed with a red face and sadness burning deep in his eyes.
Without saying anything, he got dressed and left, leaving Adrienne crying softly into her pillow.
"Hello."
"Billie?" Ella asked into the phone.
"Hey, yeah, its me. How are you doing?" He asked cheerfully, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.
"Pretty good. But I was wondering if it was okay with you if I... moved here."
"What? Like to California?"
"Yeah. I mean, Ana is going to move out here, and Jacie... should know her father." Ella said awkwardly.
Grinning, Billie said, "Well yeah, of course."
"Oh good. I just wanted to make sure."
"Would you like to go to dinner tonight?"
There was a pause in which Billie was sure his heart stopped.
"Yes. That would be nice."
Ella cursed herself for sounding like she was a nervous little fifteen-year-old.
"Okay. I'll pick you up at 7."
"Bye"
"Bye... " He waited for the long beep. My fucking god, he was an idiot.
Ella didn't worry much about dinner with Billie. She dressed simply in a black dress and let her hair down.
Billie, however, did. Not overly, perhaps, but when he met Joey and Jakob, all he could think of was Ella. He took them to his new, half-furnished apartment and attempted to make a suitable lunch.
"Dad... This just sucks," Joey said. "Why did mom and you break up anyway?"
"It just wasn't working," Billie said, scraping the burnt remains of the stir-fry from the pan into the garbage. "How does eggs sound?"
"Like shit," announced Joey.
"Watch your language," Billie said half-heartedly.
"Whatever. Don't avoid questions."
"I'm not. It's a lot of things. All smooshed together."
"We're not two anymore," Jakob said irritably.
"No. I never said that. I'm making eggs. If you want them, you'll eat them. If you don't... I don't know."
"I know why." Joey said suddenly, looking down at his hands.
"Oh?" asked Billie, only barely paying attention.
"Mom was feeling guilty about--"
Jakob elbowed him and whispered in his ear.
"About what?"
"Nothing."
"About broken dishes," Joey offered.
"You idiot," Jakob said, walking out of the room.
"Are you going to tell me?" asked Billie, his stomach turning over.
"No."
"Please?"
"Mom... was with someone... while you were gone... "
Billie was silent as the walls shook inside him.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"You and Jakob knew?" he asked.
"Yes,"
"Shit. No, I'm sorry. You shouldn't... Have had to think about stuff like that. Go find get Jakob... I guess we'll eat out, I can't even cook eggs," Billie said, the boiling anger that pounded in his veins barely showing.
As he watched his son walk away, he pulled out his cell phone out of his pocket and stepped out of the apartment.
"Hey," Adie answered cheerfully.
"What the fuck did you do?" Billie demanded, letting go.
"Shit. Did Tre tell you?"
"What?!" Utter confusion clouded Billie's anger.
"Who the fuck told you then?"
"Joey," Billie responded through gritted teeth.
There was a long pause. "Pardon?"
"That's fucking right. Our seven-year-old son told me. Only because Jakob couldn't. And you know what? That just makes the whole damn thing a few time worse." Billie was nearly yelling, the long hallway on which the apartment was situated echoed slightly.
"Oh, and you didn't go fuck your little girlfriend? Ella? And have a kid?!"
"That was years ago. And I told you when I found out. I didn't know either. It was a drunk fuck, Adie. Yours wasn't."
"Why do you even care? Immature bastard. Don't you--"
"I don't have time for this right now." Billie said exasperatedly, and hung up.
He opened his door to find Joey and Jakob leaning their backs against it, now scrambling up from the floor.
"I'm sorry," he said again.
They both just looked at him.
"C'mon,"
When he dropped the boys off at Adie's, he didn't go in, he walked them to the door, and got back in his car. He didn't want to look at Adrienne anymore.
"I haven't gotten over her... "
"I know."
"She probably doesn't even love me. Or Adie. Or Gemma. I'm like this stupid old man--"
"Wait, wait, wait. Who's Gemma?" Tre asked, looking curious.
"Just a girl... "
"You said the same thing when you met Adie, you know."
Billie just sighed. "She's way to young."
Tre looked sideways at him. "How young?"
"Very. Like twenty."
"Shit."
"Yeah."
"Ella said she loved you. Still. And that she shouldn't have... Slept with me." Tre said calmly.
Billie felt his face turn red and his heart beat funny. "Seriously?"
"Yes." Tre said, looking irritated. "It's not the best thing to hear after you had sex with a woman you've loved for a long time."
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. And you shouldn't be. Because you both love each other. And that's something nobody can touch."
"Cheesy bastard."
"That I am."
Adrienne lay next to him, breathing in his delicious aroma, knowing she shouldn't. And somehow, that just wasn't what she wanted anymore.
"This has to stop."
Tom opened his eyes wearily. "What?"
"This."
He didn't answer.
"It's not... okay."
"But... Adie, you're getting a divorce."
"I know. It's not fair though. To anybody. To you, to the kids.... Or to me."
"I don't get you sometimes. I love you."
"Tom... It's not ever going to work. I loved you too, it's just that--"
He got out of bed with a red face and sadness burning deep in his eyes.
Without saying anything, he got dressed and left, leaving Adrienne crying softly into her pillow.
"Hello."
"Billie?" Ella asked into the phone.
"Hey, yeah, its me. How are you doing?" He asked cheerfully, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.
"Pretty good. But I was wondering if it was okay with you if I... moved here."
"What? Like to California?"
"Yeah. I mean, Ana is going to move out here, and Jacie... should know her father." Ella said awkwardly.
Grinning, Billie said, "Well yeah, of course."
"Oh good. I just wanted to make sure."
"Would you like to go to dinner tonight?"
There was a pause in which Billie was sure his heart stopped.
"Yes. That would be nice."
Ella cursed herself for sounding like she was a nervous little fifteen-year-old.
"Okay. I'll pick you up at 7."
"Bye"
"Bye... " He waited for the long beep. My fucking god, he was an idiot.
Ella didn't worry much about dinner with Billie. She dressed simply in a black dress and let her hair down.
Billie, however, did. Not overly, perhaps, but when he met Joey and Jakob, all he could think of was Ella. He took them to his new, half-furnished apartment and attempted to make a suitable lunch.
"Dad... This just sucks," Joey said. "Why did mom and you break up anyway?"
"It just wasn't working," Billie said, scraping the burnt remains of the stir-fry from the pan into the garbage. "How does eggs sound?"
"Like shit," announced Joey.
"Watch your language," Billie said half-heartedly.
"Whatever. Don't avoid questions."
"I'm not. It's a lot of things. All smooshed together."
"We're not two anymore," Jakob said irritably.
"No. I never said that. I'm making eggs. If you want them, you'll eat them. If you don't... I don't know."
"I know why." Joey said suddenly, looking down at his hands.
"Oh?" asked Billie, only barely paying attention.
"Mom was feeling guilty about--"
Jakob elbowed him and whispered in his ear.
"About what?"
"Nothing."
"About broken dishes," Joey offered.
"You idiot," Jakob said, walking out of the room.
"Are you going to tell me?" asked Billie, his stomach turning over.
"No."
"Please?"
"Mom... was with someone... while you were gone... "
Billie was silent as the walls shook inside him.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"You and Jakob knew?" he asked.
"Yes,"
"Shit. No, I'm sorry. You shouldn't... Have had to think about stuff like that. Go find get Jakob... I guess we'll eat out, I can't even cook eggs," Billie said, the boiling anger that pounded in his veins barely showing.
As he watched his son walk away, he pulled out his cell phone out of his pocket and stepped out of the apartment.
"Hey," Adie answered cheerfully.
"What the fuck did you do?" Billie demanded, letting go.
"Shit. Did Tre tell you?"
"What?!" Utter confusion clouded Billie's anger.
"Who the fuck told you then?"
"Joey," Billie responded through gritted teeth.
There was a long pause. "Pardon?"
"That's fucking right. Our seven-year-old son told me. Only because Jakob couldn't. And you know what? That just makes the whole damn thing a few time worse." Billie was nearly yelling, the long hallway on which the apartment was situated echoed slightly.
"Oh, and you didn't go fuck your little girlfriend? Ella? And have a kid?!"
"That was years ago. And I told you when I found out. I didn't know either. It was a drunk fuck, Adie. Yours wasn't."
"Why do you even care? Immature bastard. Don't you--"
"I don't have time for this right now." Billie said exasperatedly, and hung up.
He opened his door to find Joey and Jakob leaning their backs against it, now scrambling up from the floor.
"I'm sorry," he said again.
They both just looked at him.
"C'mon,"
When he dropped the boys off at Adie's, he didn't go in, he walked them to the door, and got back in his car. He didn't want to look at Adrienne anymore.
