Would You Be Mine?, chapter 26
Mel and I both looked at Billie who was feeling rather unpleasant. He got up and stared to walk back and forth like a lian on a cage.
"Hell Billie stop walking like that you drive me crazy!" Mel yelled
"What happened?" I asked Billie almost whispering.
"Listen Mel. Mike loves you. With all his heart. I know it. You have to trust me." Billie started. He looked Mel deep into her eyes.
"Then why the fuck did he do that? And what do you mean by saying 'I thought he stopped it?'. Billie, you're not making it easy for me to believe you." Mel yelled. She looked like a total mess. I hated seeing her like that.
Billie looked at me as if he wanted my permission to tell Mel what ever he had to tell her. I nodded.
"One night, it was after you went back to Germany Mike got jaded. I mean he was so fucked up. He didn't want to go on tour and stuff and so he did drugs. I don't know what exactly he took but it blew his mind. Then that night I was sleeping in Tré's room because Mike was out and I didn't have a key to our room that we were sharing. Tré and I woke up because we heard these loud noises." Billie stopped for a moment. He looked at me then back to Mel. "I don't want to explain what noises I guess you know what I mean. And the next day he couldn't remember anything and he denied that anything happened when Tré and I asked him." Billie got up again. You could tell it was getting on his nerves.
"Then shortly before we returned from the tour I caught Mike fucking some chick backstage. I'll probably always remember his face at that moment. He looked at me in shock and put the girl away. She stormed out of the room and left Mike with me" Billie started to talk faster, "Mike tried to explain it but I didn't believe him anything at all. Later he promised it was just a one-night-stand and it wouldn't happen again. I had to promise him I didn't tell anyone." Billie looked down at his shoes. "Well I guess we both broke our promise".
Mel didn't say anything. She just stared at Billie in shock. I felt a tear drop down my cheek. I didn't realize until then that I was crying. How could Mike do that? It felt like a huge nightmare. I hoped it was just a nightmare but it wasn't.
Billie sat down next to Mel and took her hand.
"Listen, Mike loves you. He told me again and again. He felt so bad about what happened." Billie said, then thought for some seconds and continued "I know that's no excuse. What he did was wrong." he said looking down.
Without thinking I got up and stormed out of the house. I hated Mike at that moment more that I ever hated anyone. I heard Billie ran after me and yell something but I didn't stop. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Billie's number. I didn't wait for his response and just yelled "Take car of Mel. I can't stand it. I'm getting Mike" and hung up.
I ran to the park Mel told us and Mike was still making out with that girl. I couldn't believe he still sat there.
I ran over to him, pushed that girl away from him and slapped him.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I yelled loud enough for everyone around to hear
I saw the regret in Mike's eyes.
"I'm sorry." he said looking away. "Shit... what the fuck have I done?" he whispered.
"How can you? I thought you loved Mel? Do you actually know what you're doing to her?" I yelled.
"I do love her!" Mike yelled
"Then why the fuck do you treat her like that? God Mike, do you actually know what you did? You cheated on her!"
"I know" he silently said. I saw he had tears in his eyes.
I sat next to him and said nothing. Neither of us spoke.
"Mel's a mess." I said after a while
"She knows?" Mike's jaw dropped
"Hell yes she knows. She saw you. She ran to Billie and me. She's like dead inside." I yelled
Mike went silent again.
"Why did you do that?" I asked him
"I don't know... " he said looking at his shoes, "I fucking don't know. God, I'm such an idiot."
"Why the hell can't I believe your regrets?" I asked
Mike looked at me raising an eyebrow.
"I really regret it. You can't imagine how much I hate myself right now." he said looking down.
"But you didn't regret it before. You didn't regret it when you actually fucked another girl on tour. You probably only regret not getting laid this time. God Mike, I thought I knew you better." I said and walked away from him.
Mike ran after me and grabbed my arm
"How do you know? Billie right?" he asked angrily.
"Yeah, Billie. And don't you dare to blame him for all this. You broke your promise so he broke his. So he doesn't owe you anything. I guess Mel is staying with us tonight." I yelled and run away from him.
I ran back to Billie's house. There was something on my mind that worried me. Mike was different. He looked different. He acted different. It just wasn't the Mike I knew.
When I got back home Billie was sitting on the couch watching TV. He looked at me and came over to me.
"What happened?" he asked. I was totally exhausted. I sat down on the couch. Billie followed me and turned the tv off.
"Where's Mel?" I asked
"She fell asleep. I carried her in the guestroom." he answered
I nodded and told Billie what happened.
"What? I can't believe he was still making out with her? I don't recognize him anymore, He's not the Mike I knew. The Mike I knew would have never done that." Billie said.
"I know. Something's different. But I think it's the drugs. Billie how much did he take lately?"
"I don't know. I really don't." he said
"I think today he had too much. His eyes looked strange and he was all pale." I said looking at Billie.
"You think I should go and check on him?" Billie asked.
"No better not. Wait till tomorrow. He's probably pissed off at you for telling that 'little' secret." I said.
Billie and I were pretty exhausted so we went to bed.
I felt so bad for Mel. Every time I thought about it I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't image what would happen if Billie did this to me.
"What's wrong?" Billie asked moving closer to me.
"I thought you were asleep already" I said whipping away my tears.
"I'm not and that's not the answer to my question." He said. I didn't say anything.
"Have you been crying?" he asked leaning over me and putting me face to his side so I would face him.
He whipped away my tears and hugged me.
"This burdens you a lot, right?" Billie said. I nodded.
He placed a kiss on my nose and said: "They'll work it out" I nodded again and laid my head on his chest.
"Hell Billie stop walking like that you drive me crazy!" Mel yelled
"What happened?" I asked Billie almost whispering.
"Listen Mel. Mike loves you. With all his heart. I know it. You have to trust me." Billie started. He looked Mel deep into her eyes.
"Then why the fuck did he do that? And what do you mean by saying 'I thought he stopped it?'. Billie, you're not making it easy for me to believe you." Mel yelled. She looked like a total mess. I hated seeing her like that.
Billie looked at me as if he wanted my permission to tell Mel what ever he had to tell her. I nodded.
"One night, it was after you went back to Germany Mike got jaded. I mean he was so fucked up. He didn't want to go on tour and stuff and so he did drugs. I don't know what exactly he took but it blew his mind. Then that night I was sleeping in Tré's room because Mike was out and I didn't have a key to our room that we were sharing. Tré and I woke up because we heard these loud noises." Billie stopped for a moment. He looked at me then back to Mel. "I don't want to explain what noises I guess you know what I mean. And the next day he couldn't remember anything and he denied that anything happened when Tré and I asked him." Billie got up again. You could tell it was getting on his nerves.
"Then shortly before we returned from the tour I caught Mike fucking some chick backstage. I'll probably always remember his face at that moment. He looked at me in shock and put the girl away. She stormed out of the room and left Mike with me" Billie started to talk faster, "Mike tried to explain it but I didn't believe him anything at all. Later he promised it was just a one-night-stand and it wouldn't happen again. I had to promise him I didn't tell anyone." Billie looked down at his shoes. "Well I guess we both broke our promise".
Mel didn't say anything. She just stared at Billie in shock. I felt a tear drop down my cheek. I didn't realize until then that I was crying. How could Mike do that? It felt like a huge nightmare. I hoped it was just a nightmare but it wasn't.
Billie sat down next to Mel and took her hand.
"Listen, Mike loves you. He told me again and again. He felt so bad about what happened." Billie said, then thought for some seconds and continued "I know that's no excuse. What he did was wrong." he said looking down.
Without thinking I got up and stormed out of the house. I hated Mike at that moment more that I ever hated anyone. I heard Billie ran after me and yell something but I didn't stop. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Billie's number. I didn't wait for his response and just yelled "Take car of Mel. I can't stand it. I'm getting Mike" and hung up.
I ran to the park Mel told us and Mike was still making out with that girl. I couldn't believe he still sat there.
I ran over to him, pushed that girl away from him and slapped him.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I yelled loud enough for everyone around to hear
I saw the regret in Mike's eyes.
"I'm sorry." he said looking away. "Shit... what the fuck have I done?" he whispered.
"How can you? I thought you loved Mel? Do you actually know what you're doing to her?" I yelled.
"I do love her!" Mike yelled
"Then why the fuck do you treat her like that? God Mike, do you actually know what you did? You cheated on her!"
"I know" he silently said. I saw he had tears in his eyes.
I sat next to him and said nothing. Neither of us spoke.
"Mel's a mess." I said after a while
"She knows?" Mike's jaw dropped
"Hell yes she knows. She saw you. She ran to Billie and me. She's like dead inside." I yelled
Mike went silent again.
"Why did you do that?" I asked him
"I don't know... " he said looking at his shoes, "I fucking don't know. God, I'm such an idiot."
"Why the hell can't I believe your regrets?" I asked
Mike looked at me raising an eyebrow.
"I really regret it. You can't imagine how much I hate myself right now." he said looking down.
"But you didn't regret it before. You didn't regret it when you actually fucked another girl on tour. You probably only regret not getting laid this time. God Mike, I thought I knew you better." I said and walked away from him.
Mike ran after me and grabbed my arm
"How do you know? Billie right?" he asked angrily.
"Yeah, Billie. And don't you dare to blame him for all this. You broke your promise so he broke his. So he doesn't owe you anything. I guess Mel is staying with us tonight." I yelled and run away from him.
I ran back to Billie's house. There was something on my mind that worried me. Mike was different. He looked different. He acted different. It just wasn't the Mike I knew.
When I got back home Billie was sitting on the couch watching TV. He looked at me and came over to me.
"What happened?" he asked. I was totally exhausted. I sat down on the couch. Billie followed me and turned the tv off.
"Where's Mel?" I asked
"She fell asleep. I carried her in the guestroom." he answered
I nodded and told Billie what happened.
"What? I can't believe he was still making out with her? I don't recognize him anymore, He's not the Mike I knew. The Mike I knew would have never done that." Billie said.
"I know. Something's different. But I think it's the drugs. Billie how much did he take lately?"
"I don't know. I really don't." he said
"I think today he had too much. His eyes looked strange and he was all pale." I said looking at Billie.
"You think I should go and check on him?" Billie asked.
"No better not. Wait till tomorrow. He's probably pissed off at you for telling that 'little' secret." I said.
Billie and I were pretty exhausted so we went to bed.
I felt so bad for Mel. Every time I thought about it I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't image what would happen if Billie did this to me.
"What's wrong?" Billie asked moving closer to me.
"I thought you were asleep already" I said whipping away my tears.
"I'm not and that's not the answer to my question." He said. I didn't say anything.
"Have you been crying?" he asked leaning over me and putting me face to his side so I would face him.
He whipped away my tears and hugged me.
"This burdens you a lot, right?" Billie said. I nodded.
He placed a kiss on my nose and said: "They'll work it out" I nodded again and laid my head on his chest.
