Green Day's Womanly Habits, chapter 1
It was a dark and stormy night and myself, and my friend Chad were walking along a dog race track.
It was Chad's birthday, and she had decided to waste all her birthday money at the track. Smart idea...
So naturally I came along.
We were making our way towards the betting booth when we saw a manlike woman betting $50 on a dog called Wimbledon.
I was standing behind the woman and noticed that the back of her dress was tucked into her panties. But the weird thing was... They were boxers!
I tapped on her shoulder and what a manly shoulder it was!
She turned around and I noticed her jaw line and a pointy bit of hair was gelled up and sticking out of her hat.
And what manly hair it was too...
"Excuse me, missus. But your dress is tucked into ur... Um... Boxers!"
She grinned." Isn't that the point of dresses?" she said.
And what a manly voice it was!
She was holding a bag and she had drumsticks tucked behind her ears!
What manly ears they were too!
"Would you like to sit with me, deary?" She said, putting her well-manicured hand on my shoulder.
And what manly hands they were!
"Ok, but Chad must join us ok?" I replied.
"Okie dokie!"
Then she led us over to a private booth.
She sat down and opened her legs I a very manly fashion. Her legs were hairy and unshaven, just the way I like my man's legs!
We watched the race and Wimbledon came second from last.
The woman swore a lot then.
What manly swears she said!
"I just need to pop off to the powder room, will you excuse me ladies?" She asked.
We nodded.
Chad and I watched her walk out of the booth and wander off to the Gent's toilets.
What a manly walk she had!
"You know that woman, yeah?" Chad asked.
"Yeah..." I replied "what about her?"
"Doesn't she remind you of someone?"
"A little, yes"
We were silent for a moment or two then, at the same time we both said...
"Tré!"
It was Tré Cool all the time! We giggled because we had realised how oblivious we had been. God, We can be idiots sometimes!
We walked out of the stadium and met the "woman" by her car. Her car was a rather stylish SUV, just like the one Tré drove.
"Would you like a drive home, ladies?" She asked.
"Um... Yes please" Said Chad. And we got in the back of the SUV.
"Excuse me, Missus?" I finally asked.
"Yes, poppet?" She replied.
"You remind me a lot of someone"
"Ooh! And who's that, dear?"
"Tré Cool."
The woman went quiet. Then she smiled.
"You got me!" She said in her or rather his regular voice.
"Why are you dressed up though?" Chad asked.
Tré took off his hat and shrugged.
"Women are cool, I guess. I just wanted to be one. It was either that or a giant hot dog"
"Nice" I said.
"Hey! You guys wanna meet Billie Joe and Mike?"
"Ok, But first, can we go pick up our friend Lottie? She's been home, sick so she didn't come with us but shed love to meet you guys." I asked.
"Sure." He replied.
*****
AT TRÉ'S HOUSE
We had picked up Lottie and were now all sitting in the living room at Tré's house drinking Earl Grey tea that was spiked with vodka, with Billie Joe and Mike.
IT turns out that all the band like to dress up as women every now and then, even Jason White, to celebrate their manhood.
"Hey do you guys wanna give us makeovers to complete our transaction from men to women?" Said Billie suddenly, grinning.
"Cool!" We said.
"And we can use MY makeup!" Exclaimed Tré.
"You have makeup?" asked Mike looking disturbed.
"Oh come on its not like you two DON'T!" replied Tré.
Billie and Mike nodded in acceptance.
"Lets get Pretty!" Yelled Tré.
A few hours of vodka and makeup later, I had made-up Mike who was wearing a sexy red cocktail dress and Dark red cherry lip gloss. Lottie had made-up Billie Joe who was wearing a pink tube top and a black mini skirt and Pink eyeliner and lipstick. Chad had made-up Tré who had a tight black dress and long white gloves on, he also had fake eyelashes and brown lipstick. Very stylish!
We took loads of photos of us dancing and drinking, then we all decided that Tré definitely looked the most womanly.
He did a little catwalk down the hall then Mike and Billie lifted him up, ran outside and threw him in a pool!
We all dived in after him and laughed hysterically.
Suddenly Adrienne walked out into the garden.
"What the...?!?" She cried, seeing her husband in woman's attire with 3 young girls swimming in a pool.
"Come in, 80, the waters great!" Billie yelled.
Adrienne jumped in and we all splashed her.
Then we played wars with me on Billie Joe's shoulders and Lottie on Mike's.
Meanwhile, Tré was sitting on the side of the pool sobbing.
"What's a matter?" Chad asked.
"My make-up is ruined!" He whimpered.
It was Chad's birthday, and she had decided to waste all her birthday money at the track. Smart idea...
So naturally I came along.
We were making our way towards the betting booth when we saw a manlike woman betting $50 on a dog called Wimbledon.
I was standing behind the woman and noticed that the back of her dress was tucked into her panties. But the weird thing was... They were boxers!
I tapped on her shoulder and what a manly shoulder it was!
She turned around and I noticed her jaw line and a pointy bit of hair was gelled up and sticking out of her hat.
And what manly hair it was too...
"Excuse me, missus. But your dress is tucked into ur... Um... Boxers!"
She grinned." Isn't that the point of dresses?" she said.
And what a manly voice it was!
She was holding a bag and she had drumsticks tucked behind her ears!
What manly ears they were too!
"Would you like to sit with me, deary?" She said, putting her well-manicured hand on my shoulder.
And what manly hands they were!
"Ok, but Chad must join us ok?" I replied.
"Okie dokie!"
Then she led us over to a private booth.
She sat down and opened her legs I a very manly fashion. Her legs were hairy and unshaven, just the way I like my man's legs!
We watched the race and Wimbledon came second from last.
The woman swore a lot then.
What manly swears she said!
"I just need to pop off to the powder room, will you excuse me ladies?" She asked.
We nodded.
Chad and I watched her walk out of the booth and wander off to the Gent's toilets.
What a manly walk she had!
"You know that woman, yeah?" Chad asked.
"Yeah..." I replied "what about her?"
"Doesn't she remind you of someone?"
"A little, yes"
We were silent for a moment or two then, at the same time we both said...
"Tré!"
It was Tré Cool all the time! We giggled because we had realised how oblivious we had been. God, We can be idiots sometimes!
We walked out of the stadium and met the "woman" by her car. Her car was a rather stylish SUV, just like the one Tré drove.
"Would you like a drive home, ladies?" She asked.
"Um... Yes please" Said Chad. And we got in the back of the SUV.
"Excuse me, Missus?" I finally asked.
"Yes, poppet?" She replied.
"You remind me a lot of someone"
"Ooh! And who's that, dear?"
"Tré Cool."
The woman went quiet. Then she smiled.
"You got me!" She said in her or rather his regular voice.
"Why are you dressed up though?" Chad asked.
Tré took off his hat and shrugged.
"Women are cool, I guess. I just wanted to be one. It was either that or a giant hot dog"
"Nice" I said.
"Hey! You guys wanna meet Billie Joe and Mike?"
"Ok, But first, can we go pick up our friend Lottie? She's been home, sick so she didn't come with us but shed love to meet you guys." I asked.
"Sure." He replied.
*****
AT TRÉ'S HOUSE
We had picked up Lottie and were now all sitting in the living room at Tré's house drinking Earl Grey tea that was spiked with vodka, with Billie Joe and Mike.
IT turns out that all the band like to dress up as women every now and then, even Jason White, to celebrate their manhood.
"Hey do you guys wanna give us makeovers to complete our transaction from men to women?" Said Billie suddenly, grinning.
"Cool!" We said.
"And we can use MY makeup!" Exclaimed Tré.
"You have makeup?" asked Mike looking disturbed.
"Oh come on its not like you two DON'T!" replied Tré.
Billie and Mike nodded in acceptance.
"Lets get Pretty!" Yelled Tré.
A few hours of vodka and makeup later, I had made-up Mike who was wearing a sexy red cocktail dress and Dark red cherry lip gloss. Lottie had made-up Billie Joe who was wearing a pink tube top and a black mini skirt and Pink eyeliner and lipstick. Chad had made-up Tré who had a tight black dress and long white gloves on, he also had fake eyelashes and brown lipstick. Very stylish!
We took loads of photos of us dancing and drinking, then we all decided that Tré definitely looked the most womanly.
He did a little catwalk down the hall then Mike and Billie lifted him up, ran outside and threw him in a pool!
We all dived in after him and laughed hysterically.
Suddenly Adrienne walked out into the garden.
"What the...?!?" She cried, seeing her husband in woman's attire with 3 young girls swimming in a pool.
"Come in, 80, the waters great!" Billie yelled.
Adrienne jumped in and we all splashed her.
Then we played wars with me on Billie Joe's shoulders and Lottie on Mike's.
Meanwhile, Tré was sitting on the side of the pool sobbing.
"What's a matter?" Chad asked.
"My make-up is ruined!" He whimpered.
