My Own Private Suicide (Sequal to House Guests), chapter 3
Opening your eyes in the morning, you almost jumped out of your skin. There were two brown eyes about an inch from your face. "Morning sunshine." Trista smiled. "You scared the shit outta me." "Sorry Billie, but the nurse says I can take you home now. Every one is at the house waiting. Hurry up, get ready to go." You stood up and walked over to the side of the room where your new clothes were. As you lifted your shirt over your head you heard Trista gasp. "Oh. My. GOD, BILLIE JOE... WHAT THE FUCK?" She ran over and grasped onto your arm to examine the scars. "Oh, this is all my fault." She cried, hugging you tightly. "I didn't realize how close I was to losing you forever." "It's ok, Mike found me and now I am fine. Babe, are you crying?" She was, "Shh, don't cry. C'mon. I'm fine, look, look at me." You lifted her head to look at you. "Don't cry and don't blame yourself. I was stupid enough to cut myself and I shouldn't have. It is my fault." You hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. "Come on, we have to go meet everyone else." She nodded and wiped her eyes off. "Ok, I'm sorry. Ok, you get dressed; I think I need some coffee. I will be right back." She turned to leave but you held her back and gave her a quick kiss. "Hurry back."
You finished getting dressed and sat on the bed waiting for Trista to come back. "Ok ready to go?" She said as she walked in a few minutes later. "Yup." You strolled up and strolled out of the room and down the hallway. Reaching the elevator, you stepped aside. "After you." "What a gentleman." She laughed. You stepped in after her and when the doors closed, wrapped your arms around her waist and rested your chin on her shoulder. "I love you." You whispered in her ear. "I love you too Billie Joe. I really do." "So why did you leave me?" "Because I think you loved me anymore." You felt tears jump to your eyes but you managed to hold them back. When you got home every one was there waiting for you.
Later on that night after everyone had left, you and Trista were sitting alone. You had had a few beers and were a bit tipsy. You opened another and sat down on the couch beside her, wrapping your arm around her shoulders casually. "Hey, why don't you and I go to, uh, bed?" "Soon, not now. I am busy for now." "What are you doing?" "Reading this thing." "Oh, come on." "No, in a few minutes." "Fine." You sat in silence for a while, occasionally her turning the page. After about an hour you had finished about 3 and a half more beer and she had finished about a chapter. You began to get more impatient and sat a bit closer. You leaned in and kissed her cheek and down her neck to her collar bone. "Billie, I am busy. Stop that! It tickles." You sat back up. "How long are you gonna read that stupid book for?" "Until I am done up to chapter 10." "What chapter are you on?" "Eight." "Oh, that is gonna take forever." "Oh Shh. I will be done in a couple minutes." Ten minutes later you had gotten up and had another beer (your 10th just to tell you) and you could barely walk or talk straight. "C'mon lets gotabid now." "Ok, I'm done." She put the book down and you both walked (well you kind of stumbled) into the bedroom before everything went blurry.
~*~Trista's P. O. V~*~
You were crying as you drove away. How could he do that? After everything he had said to you the day before. You tried your hardest not to think about it but the memories were too fresh to ignore.
***flashback***
You walked into the bedroom, got changed into your nightdress and climbed into the bed. Billie didn't even bother getting changed; he plopped right down beside you. Shutting out the light, you had just turned on your side and closed your eyes when you felt his hand on your waist. He moved close behind you and whispered in your ear, "I thought you said we could do something?" "I said we could go to bed." "Come on, It's been a whole year... " "Maybe tomorrow, I am too tired tonight." "Please?" He ran his hand down to the bottom of your nighty and lifted it. "No. Not tonight Billie Joe. Can't we just have a good night sleep?" "We will have a good night sleep. Come on." "No." "I said come on!" He forced you onto your back. "Billie Joe, what the hell has gotten into you?" "Nothing, I just want to have some fun tonight." "Uh, I think I will sleep on the couch tonight." You go to get up but he holds you down. "Let me go." "Come on, babe." He forces you into a ravenous kiss and you bite him. "Oh, someone is awfully kinky tonight." "Fuck you. Get the fuck off of me." "Oh, you do want to fuck me? Ok." "Get them FUCK off of me!" You push him off and run out of the room. What the fuck is wrong with him? You ran straight to the kitchen as you heard him stumble around in the dark. "Where the fuck did you go? Come fucking back here." You started to cry as he yelled and cursed at you. Finally the bedroom door opened and he fell out. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" You didn't answer. "Come here, babe." You felt around and grabbed the first thing you could to defend yourself. You didn't ever think you would have to against him. You examined the item you had picked up. A frying pan. You sobbed quietly as he came closer. He turned the corner and you swung with a huge force of adrenaline. He stood dazed kind of swaying gently for a few seconds before falling over backwards. "Oh, shit. Don't be dead. Don't be dead." You leaned over and checked his pulse. He was alive but he had a huge bruise on his head where the frying pan had hit. You turned him onto his side so he wouldn't swallow his tongue. You should call the ambulance but you didn't want him going to jail. You would just leave. Forever this time, not to Kamloops. They would look there. You would just drive away until you found a place no body would look. You stood up and walked into the bedroom, gathered your stuff and a bit of money. You were still crying as you walked out to the kitchen and placed your stuff on the floor. You kneeled beside Billie on the floor, hugged him and kissed him on the forehead. "Goodbye." You whispered. And then you left.
***end flashback***
~*~Billie's P. O. V~*~
The sun was bright when you woke up. Your head hurt like hell and stung like a bitch. "What the fuck happened last night?" You stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was a huge bruised lump on your head. "Shit. What the fuck is that from?" You thought about it but mostly everything was a blur. You went back into the kitchen and saw noticed the frying pan on the floor. A bit of last night came back. "Oh, fuck. What was I thinking?" You sat in the chair and thought really hard. Not much came back but it was enough. Enough for you to know what had happened. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" You sobbed. The first day she is back and she is forced to leave again. "I really fucked up." You sobbed. "I fucked everything up. And she's gone again. FUCK... What the FUCK is FUCKING WRONG WITH ME?" you tugged your hair and looked up. On your dresser was the pocket knife that your sister had given you when you were 17. You grabbed it and rolled up your sleeve. Nothing was there to stop you; no one would find you this time. You pressed hard and slid down. It hurt more than last time, mostly because you were sober this time. You closed your eyes and winced as you slit the other also. You tossed the knife on the floor and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling and slowly falling asleep knowing you would never wake up again.
You finished getting dressed and sat on the bed waiting for Trista to come back. "Ok ready to go?" She said as she walked in a few minutes later. "Yup." You strolled up and strolled out of the room and down the hallway. Reaching the elevator, you stepped aside. "After you." "What a gentleman." She laughed. You stepped in after her and when the doors closed, wrapped your arms around her waist and rested your chin on her shoulder. "I love you." You whispered in her ear. "I love you too Billie Joe. I really do." "So why did you leave me?" "Because I think you loved me anymore." You felt tears jump to your eyes but you managed to hold them back. When you got home every one was there waiting for you.
Later on that night after everyone had left, you and Trista were sitting alone. You had had a few beers and were a bit tipsy. You opened another and sat down on the couch beside her, wrapping your arm around her shoulders casually. "Hey, why don't you and I go to, uh, bed?" "Soon, not now. I am busy for now." "What are you doing?" "Reading this thing." "Oh, come on." "No, in a few minutes." "Fine." You sat in silence for a while, occasionally her turning the page. After about an hour you had finished about 3 and a half more beer and she had finished about a chapter. You began to get more impatient and sat a bit closer. You leaned in and kissed her cheek and down her neck to her collar bone. "Billie, I am busy. Stop that! It tickles." You sat back up. "How long are you gonna read that stupid book for?" "Until I am done up to chapter 10." "What chapter are you on?" "Eight." "Oh, that is gonna take forever." "Oh Shh. I will be done in a couple minutes." Ten minutes later you had gotten up and had another beer (your 10th just to tell you) and you could barely walk or talk straight. "C'mon lets gotabid now." "Ok, I'm done." She put the book down and you both walked (well you kind of stumbled) into the bedroom before everything went blurry.
~*~Trista's P. O. V~*~
You were crying as you drove away. How could he do that? After everything he had said to you the day before. You tried your hardest not to think about it but the memories were too fresh to ignore.
***flashback***
You walked into the bedroom, got changed into your nightdress and climbed into the bed. Billie didn't even bother getting changed; he plopped right down beside you. Shutting out the light, you had just turned on your side and closed your eyes when you felt his hand on your waist. He moved close behind you and whispered in your ear, "I thought you said we could do something?" "I said we could go to bed." "Come on, It's been a whole year... " "Maybe tomorrow, I am too tired tonight." "Please?" He ran his hand down to the bottom of your nighty and lifted it. "No. Not tonight Billie Joe. Can't we just have a good night sleep?" "We will have a good night sleep. Come on." "No." "I said come on!" He forced you onto your back. "Billie Joe, what the hell has gotten into you?" "Nothing, I just want to have some fun tonight." "Uh, I think I will sleep on the couch tonight." You go to get up but he holds you down. "Let me go." "Come on, babe." He forces you into a ravenous kiss and you bite him. "Oh, someone is awfully kinky tonight." "Fuck you. Get the fuck off of me." "Oh, you do want to fuck me? Ok." "Get them FUCK off of me!" You push him off and run out of the room. What the fuck is wrong with him? You ran straight to the kitchen as you heard him stumble around in the dark. "Where the fuck did you go? Come fucking back here." You started to cry as he yelled and cursed at you. Finally the bedroom door opened and he fell out. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" You didn't answer. "Come here, babe." You felt around and grabbed the first thing you could to defend yourself. You didn't ever think you would have to against him. You examined the item you had picked up. A frying pan. You sobbed quietly as he came closer. He turned the corner and you swung with a huge force of adrenaline. He stood dazed kind of swaying gently for a few seconds before falling over backwards. "Oh, shit. Don't be dead. Don't be dead." You leaned over and checked his pulse. He was alive but he had a huge bruise on his head where the frying pan had hit. You turned him onto his side so he wouldn't swallow his tongue. You should call the ambulance but you didn't want him going to jail. You would just leave. Forever this time, not to Kamloops. They would look there. You would just drive away until you found a place no body would look. You stood up and walked into the bedroom, gathered your stuff and a bit of money. You were still crying as you walked out to the kitchen and placed your stuff on the floor. You kneeled beside Billie on the floor, hugged him and kissed him on the forehead. "Goodbye." You whispered. And then you left.
***end flashback***
~*~Billie's P. O. V~*~
The sun was bright when you woke up. Your head hurt like hell and stung like a bitch. "What the fuck happened last night?" You stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was a huge bruised lump on your head. "Shit. What the fuck is that from?" You thought about it but mostly everything was a blur. You went back into the kitchen and saw noticed the frying pan on the floor. A bit of last night came back. "Oh, fuck. What was I thinking?" You sat in the chair and thought really hard. Not much came back but it was enough. Enough for you to know what had happened. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" You sobbed. The first day she is back and she is forced to leave again. "I really fucked up." You sobbed. "I fucked everything up. And she's gone again. FUCK... What the FUCK is FUCKING WRONG WITH ME?" you tugged your hair and looked up. On your dresser was the pocket knife that your sister had given you when you were 17. You grabbed it and rolled up your sleeve. Nothing was there to stop you; no one would find you this time. You pressed hard and slid down. It hurt more than last time, mostly because you were sober this time. You closed your eyes and winced as you slit the other also. You tossed the knife on the floor and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling and slowly falling asleep knowing you would never wake up again.
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