Could It Be Alright?, chapter 1
The thing about my mom is she's a physcologist. Meaning she solves other people's problems. Only, she can't figure out her own. My older brother Tony always gets on her nerves, but he knows best to back off on Sundays. Sundays nights my mother doesn't work, so it's happy hour for her. She'll go out for hours and come back in drunken rage. If me or Tony messes up once, she hits us. If we try to hide in our room, she drags us out and finds a reason to hit us. Tony always tells her to hit him instead of me. He's a good brother, only sometimes it seems like he doesn't have any common sense.
On Monday mornings my mother apologizes to me an Tony separately. This morning she comes to me in my room while I'm getting ready for school. I slip a steak knife in my bag before she sees, for in case that jackass Dan wants to go at it with me again.
"I'm sorry," She's saying. "I'm going to try and stop drinking. I know I have a temper... " She stops when she sees my journal. I shove it in my backpack. "It's OK," I say.
"You're not mad?" She asks. I shake my head quick, so she'll stop talking. But she doesn't, she starts talking like she does at work.
"What do you do if you're mad?" She asks.
"I write," I say. It's true, but I'll never show her what I write. I walk past her and say, "I gotta go or I'll be late," fast before she can say anything else.
Outside, Tony catches me going the opposite direction of school. "You cutting again??" He asks. I give him a look that answers the question. "Whatever. But when that old hag done find out you skip, she gonna have a fit, and I ain't gonna save your sorry ass," Tony grumbles.
"She isn't gonna find out," I say before walking off. Truth is, I don't have many friends, and I don't have anything to do all day, but I'd rather be anywhere other than school. If my mother wasn't so tight about school, I'd have dropped out by now. I guess I could move out, but I'm too young and don't have any money.
I check the time, which is quarter past 8, and head back home. My mother won't be there, since she leaves for work at 8. I light up a cigarette and take a drag as I head to our building.
We're on the sixth floor, so I take the elevator. As I reach down in my backpack for my key, I prick my finger on the knife. "Shit," I say, sucking up the blood.
I open the door. The apartment's empty and quiet. I see some trash on the floor. Looks like rolled up paper. And I smell something funny, so I head for my mother's bedroom.
I open the bedroom door and see her on the bed, hunched over. Smoke everywhere. And the smell of something tangy. I know that smell all too well from school.
"Mom?" I whisper. She looks up. Her face looks more creased, older. She's holding a blunt - marijuana. And there's beer bottles on the floor. I can already see the anger burning in her eyes. She starts to stand, but falls over, she's so high. I slam the door and run for my bedroom. I know I gotta get the hell out of there. I throw clothes and the cash I got into my backpack. I can hear her down the hall, trying to open her door. Tony was right - he wasn't here to save my ass.
I snatch my backpack and run. I run out of the apartment, out of the building, down the street, and don't stop till my legs feel like they're gonna fall off.
On Monday mornings my mother apologizes to me an Tony separately. This morning she comes to me in my room while I'm getting ready for school. I slip a steak knife in my bag before she sees, for in case that jackass Dan wants to go at it with me again.
"I'm sorry," She's saying. "I'm going to try and stop drinking. I know I have a temper... " She stops when she sees my journal. I shove it in my backpack. "It's OK," I say.
"You're not mad?" She asks. I shake my head quick, so she'll stop talking. But she doesn't, she starts talking like she does at work.
"What do you do if you're mad?" She asks.
"I write," I say. It's true, but I'll never show her what I write. I walk past her and say, "I gotta go or I'll be late," fast before she can say anything else.
Outside, Tony catches me going the opposite direction of school. "You cutting again??" He asks. I give him a look that answers the question. "Whatever. But when that old hag done find out you skip, she gonna have a fit, and I ain't gonna save your sorry ass," Tony grumbles.
"She isn't gonna find out," I say before walking off. Truth is, I don't have many friends, and I don't have anything to do all day, but I'd rather be anywhere other than school. If my mother wasn't so tight about school, I'd have dropped out by now. I guess I could move out, but I'm too young and don't have any money.
I check the time, which is quarter past 8, and head back home. My mother won't be there, since she leaves for work at 8. I light up a cigarette and take a drag as I head to our building.
We're on the sixth floor, so I take the elevator. As I reach down in my backpack for my key, I prick my finger on the knife. "Shit," I say, sucking up the blood.
I open the door. The apartment's empty and quiet. I see some trash on the floor. Looks like rolled up paper. And I smell something funny, so I head for my mother's bedroom.
I open the bedroom door and see her on the bed, hunched over. Smoke everywhere. And the smell of something tangy. I know that smell all too well from school.
"Mom?" I whisper. She looks up. Her face looks more creased, older. She's holding a blunt - marijuana. And there's beer bottles on the floor. I can already see the anger burning in her eyes. She starts to stand, but falls over, she's so high. I slam the door and run for my bedroom. I know I gotta get the hell out of there. I throw clothes and the cash I got into my backpack. I can hear her down the hall, trying to open her door. Tony was right - he wasn't here to save my ass.
I snatch my backpack and run. I run out of the apartment, out of the building, down the street, and don't stop till my legs feel like they're gonna fall off.
