Anything But Ordinary, chapter 2
-NICE GUYS FINISH LAST-
Fucking Happy I Could Cry.
Every Joke Can Have Its Truth And Now The Joke's On You.
I Never Knew You Were Such A Funny Guy...
"EY BILLIE! ADRIENNE! DWARFS!"
"Dwarfs?!" Jakob said questionly at the man.
"Yeah, you guys are small little dwarfs that go sreaming their heads off around the house!"
"Sooo... You do that, too, Uncle Tre!"
"Shhhh... Your parents aren't supposed to know that! Now c'mon here!" Tre teased, and he picked Jakob up and swung him over his shoulder.
"HEY! That's not fair!"
"EY! Billie, Adrienne! Ya won't belive what I caught!"
Tre marched to the backyard to find the couple eating breakfast.
"What the hell are you doing here so early?!?!?!" Billie asked.
"I need a favor. Hey Adri!"
"Hi, Tre," she said and rolled her eyes.
"UNCLE TRE!" Jakob laughed while dangling upside down over Tre's shoulder.
"Shush, dwarf, before I stick you under a fucking bridge. Then, you'll be a shitty mean dwarf, and the poor goats can't cross the damn bridge!"
"TRE!" Billie yelled.
"What?! Oh, sorry... Umm... Let's just pretend that you didn't hear me cursing."
"You can't tell the story worth a damn!"
Tre's face became confused, "Are you talking about me cursing... Or something else?"
"It wasn't a dwarf under the bridge, it was a troll! A fucking troll!"
Jakob laughed, and Adrienne smiled at her son, then at Tre.
"Yeah, Tre. Tell the story right! The poor kid is gonna grow up knowing the story all wrong!" Adrienne teased, "Besides, the kids are used to Billie swearing all the time! Damn you Billie! That's all your fault."
"ME?! You we the one who started swearing before the kid was born! Hell, you cursed the kid WAS BEING BORN!"
"Well, true. Sorry, babe," Adrienne, and stroked her son's head, "Your head was huge..."
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I don't wanna hear about it! You two are demented parents, ya know that? Complaining about a dumb story, then cussing in your innoncent child's ear, then talking about her labor with him?!" Tre screamed. He let Jakob down, and walked inside the house.
"HEHEHHEHEHE. YES! I have to say good job on your part. I would have never thought of a better way to get rid of him," Billie laughed, raising his palm into the air. Adrienne slapped him a 'high-five', and laughed.
"Finally! Peace and quiet. Right, Jakob?"
"Right!" Jakob nodded, crawling onto his mother's lap.
Just as they thought all was peaceful... The sprinkler system went off!
Adrienne, Billie, and Jakob looked at each other, soaked in the cold water.
"TRE!" Billie screamed, and turned around to see Tre standing behind the glass patio doors. He was banging on the glass hysterically, with tears down his face.
********************************
"Oh man, Mike! You shoulda seen the look on these these guys' faces!" Tre joked.
"Shut up and eat your damn food!" Billie said staring at his plate.
"Billie! We're at a restaurant! Keep it down..."
"Hahahaha! I would have wanted to see it, Uncle Tre!" Joey added in.
"Ha, three days of being grounded, then we'll see who wants to see it!" Billie said pointing his fork at Joey who sat next to Tre. Joey immediately began to shuffle his food with his fork.
"O'cmon, it was just fun and games!" Tre exclaimed," If you would excuse me... I have a phone call to answer."
Billie glared from his plate at Tre, and Adrienne, rubbed Billie's arm in comfort.
"Dad, it's not that big of a deal," Jakob said.
"Son, we have something called... Payback. Lemme give ya a lesson on that."
Mike started laughing, and Adrienne rolled her eyes.
"We're gonna take a little bit of Spot's..."
"BILLIE!"
"What Adrienne?!"
"That's not Spot's..."
Billie nodded.
"And you're not gonna..."
Billie nodded again. "Pass me Tre's plate would ya Joey?"
Joey gleefully passed his dad the plate, and couldn't wait to see what was going to be unravelled. Billie took some of the shit (literally), and placed it in Tre's hamburger. He quickly slid it back in Tre's spot, and looked at the boys. Placing a finger to his mouth to motion silence, he glanced at Adrienne. She shook her head with laughter, and Mike's eyes had become teary from hysteria!
Tre returned, and glanced at his burger. Everyone stared, hoping that he wouldn't decline his meal.
"Hmmm... Smells funny..."
Mike chuckled, but turned his head away quickly enough that Tre didn't notice.
"How's your food, kids? Good? Mine is! I'm sooo hungry!" Billie said, stuffing his face with fries.
The kids nodded, and Adrienne was biting her lip to prevent from laughing.
Tre quickly took a bite of his burger, and chewed. Five pairs of eyes looked at him with anticipation of his reaction.
"This isn't that bad... But I gotta say its really different..." he swallowed, and took another bite. After he had eaten half of the burger. He sat back in his chair, and looked suspiciously at the crew.
Billie couldn't hold it any longer, and his soda went squrting out his mouth. Mike's head hit the table, and his body was shaking uncontrollably. Adrienne hid her head in her arms, and the boys pointed and laughed.
"UNCLE TRE ATE SHIT!"
"WHAT?!"
"HAHAHA, I hope you liked your meal. It's a new addition to the menu. It's called Spot's shit burger," Mike laughed.
Tre's face quickly turned pale, and he raced to the restroom. Other guests were staring at their table with confusion and curiosity. After 20 minutes, Tre came back with a face of disgust and revenge. Billie rose from his seat and ran out the door, with Tre chasing after him.
Fucking Happy I Could Cry.
Every Joke Can Have Its Truth And Now The Joke's On You.
I Never Knew You Were Such A Funny Guy...
"EY BILLIE! ADRIENNE! DWARFS!"
"Dwarfs?!" Jakob said questionly at the man.
"Yeah, you guys are small little dwarfs that go sreaming their heads off around the house!"
"Sooo... You do that, too, Uncle Tre!"
"Shhhh... Your parents aren't supposed to know that! Now c'mon here!" Tre teased, and he picked Jakob up and swung him over his shoulder.
"HEY! That's not fair!"
"EY! Billie, Adrienne! Ya won't belive what I caught!"
Tre marched to the backyard to find the couple eating breakfast.
"What the hell are you doing here so early?!?!?!" Billie asked.
"I need a favor. Hey Adri!"
"Hi, Tre," she said and rolled her eyes.
"UNCLE TRE!" Jakob laughed while dangling upside down over Tre's shoulder.
"Shush, dwarf, before I stick you under a fucking bridge. Then, you'll be a shitty mean dwarf, and the poor goats can't cross the damn bridge!"
"TRE!" Billie yelled.
"What?! Oh, sorry... Umm... Let's just pretend that you didn't hear me cursing."
"You can't tell the story worth a damn!"
Tre's face became confused, "Are you talking about me cursing... Or something else?"
"It wasn't a dwarf under the bridge, it was a troll! A fucking troll!"
Jakob laughed, and Adrienne smiled at her son, then at Tre.
"Yeah, Tre. Tell the story right! The poor kid is gonna grow up knowing the story all wrong!" Adrienne teased, "Besides, the kids are used to Billie swearing all the time! Damn you Billie! That's all your fault."
"ME?! You we the one who started swearing before the kid was born! Hell, you cursed the kid WAS BEING BORN!"
"Well, true. Sorry, babe," Adrienne, and stroked her son's head, "Your head was huge..."
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I don't wanna hear about it! You two are demented parents, ya know that? Complaining about a dumb story, then cussing in your innoncent child's ear, then talking about her labor with him?!" Tre screamed. He let Jakob down, and walked inside the house.
"HEHEHHEHEHE. YES! I have to say good job on your part. I would have never thought of a better way to get rid of him," Billie laughed, raising his palm into the air. Adrienne slapped him a 'high-five', and laughed.
"Finally! Peace and quiet. Right, Jakob?"
"Right!" Jakob nodded, crawling onto his mother's lap.
Just as they thought all was peaceful... The sprinkler system went off!
Adrienne, Billie, and Jakob looked at each other, soaked in the cold water.
"TRE!" Billie screamed, and turned around to see Tre standing behind the glass patio doors. He was banging on the glass hysterically, with tears down his face.
********************************
"Oh man, Mike! You shoulda seen the look on these these guys' faces!" Tre joked.
"Shut up and eat your damn food!" Billie said staring at his plate.
"Billie! We're at a restaurant! Keep it down..."
"Hahahaha! I would have wanted to see it, Uncle Tre!" Joey added in.
"Ha, three days of being grounded, then we'll see who wants to see it!" Billie said pointing his fork at Joey who sat next to Tre. Joey immediately began to shuffle his food with his fork.
"O'cmon, it was just fun and games!" Tre exclaimed," If you would excuse me... I have a phone call to answer."
Billie glared from his plate at Tre, and Adrienne, rubbed Billie's arm in comfort.
"Dad, it's not that big of a deal," Jakob said.
"Son, we have something called... Payback. Lemme give ya a lesson on that."
Mike started laughing, and Adrienne rolled her eyes.
"We're gonna take a little bit of Spot's..."
"BILLIE!"
"What Adrienne?!"
"That's not Spot's..."
Billie nodded.
"And you're not gonna..."
Billie nodded again. "Pass me Tre's plate would ya Joey?"
Joey gleefully passed his dad the plate, and couldn't wait to see what was going to be unravelled. Billie took some of the shit (literally), and placed it in Tre's hamburger. He quickly slid it back in Tre's spot, and looked at the boys. Placing a finger to his mouth to motion silence, he glanced at Adrienne. She shook her head with laughter, and Mike's eyes had become teary from hysteria!
Tre returned, and glanced at his burger. Everyone stared, hoping that he wouldn't decline his meal.
"Hmmm... Smells funny..."
Mike chuckled, but turned his head away quickly enough that Tre didn't notice.
"How's your food, kids? Good? Mine is! I'm sooo hungry!" Billie said, stuffing his face with fries.
The kids nodded, and Adrienne was biting her lip to prevent from laughing.
Tre quickly took a bite of his burger, and chewed. Five pairs of eyes looked at him with anticipation of his reaction.
"This isn't that bad... But I gotta say its really different..." he swallowed, and took another bite. After he had eaten half of the burger. He sat back in his chair, and looked suspiciously at the crew.
Billie couldn't hold it any longer, and his soda went squrting out his mouth. Mike's head hit the table, and his body was shaking uncontrollably. Adrienne hid her head in her arms, and the boys pointed and laughed.
"UNCLE TRE ATE SHIT!"
"WHAT?!"
"HAHAHA, I hope you liked your meal. It's a new addition to the menu. It's called Spot's shit burger," Mike laughed.
Tre's face quickly turned pale, and he raced to the restroom. Other guests were staring at their table with confusion and curiosity. After 20 minutes, Tre came back with a face of disgust and revenge. Billie rose from his seat and ran out the door, with Tre chasing after him.
