She Is My Baby, I Love Her So, But It's Too Late Now, I've Let Her Go, chapter 7
"So, spill it." Naomi ordered Bailey, as they hopped onto her massive bed. "What went on between you and Tre. And no BS, I saw him kiss you in the pool."
Bailey looked at her best friend in horror. "Did anyone else?"
Naomi choked on her marshmallow. "You mean he DID?"
"You didn't see... ?"
"NO! It's that thing I used to do to you... Remember? I say I'd seen you do something, so you'd admit it?"
Bailey threw another marshmallow at Naomi, and groaned. "Yes fine, bi-atch. Tre kissed me, and I would have kissed him back. But we came up before I could."
"And Liam?"
"Is a jerk. And I've decided to dump him."
"WoooHoo! So. London. CONFESS!"
Bailey reached for another marshmallow and considered it. "Don't like em raw." She reached for her lighter. (Yes she does smoke, but no adult knows. Yet. Bailey has a lot of problems, but they come in later.) Bailey flicked the lighter on, and set fire to her marshmallow. She blew out the flame as the "mallow reached the burnt stage she loved. She popped the marshmallow into her mouth, and squawked as it burnt her tongue. She saw her BF's face and sighed.
"OK, yeah. We, um slept together in London."
"Oh. Is that all?" Naomi's tone was über sarcastic.
"Uh, nope. We had quite a few, um, make out sessions on tour. Plus we may have done IT a few times as well. And I... you can guess."
Naomi"s eyes were wide, and her jaw on the flaw.
"Oh. My. God." She was distracted by the loud strains of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" floating from the house. "Question, UNDERAGE SLUT, why is your dad playing "Complicated"?"
"No, that's Nibs' new song. "Extra Cheese". Listen."
They ran into the house, and sure enough, on a makeshift stage (Adie's coffee table) Nibs was singing to the "Complicated" tune. (PS This is an actual song. My cousin downloaded it for me. "Extra Cheese". Not "Complicated")
Chalky: ("Uh, huh.")
PeeWee: ("Extra cheese.")
Chalky: ("Uh huh.")
Nibs: "Pizza party at your house
I went, just to check it out.
Nineteen extra larges,
What a shame- no one came.
Just us, eating all alone
You said "Take the pizza home.
No sense letting all this go to waste."
So then I faced,
Pizza all day
And every day there"s cheese round the clock
It"s getting me blocked
And I sure don't care
For irregularity.
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated.
In the bathroom
I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I use laxatives or go and get my colon irrigated?
No, no noo."
Bailey and Naomi screamed with laughter, clutching at their stomachs.
"Ooh, that is so going on the next album." Mike yelped. Tre was staring at Nibs in shock.
"Now, why didn't I think of that?"
Bailey slid up to Tre and pinched him playfully.
"Cause you're gettin" old, dude."
Tre glared at her, wiggling his finger in a good impression of Adie. "Ya wanna go back in the pool, Honey-Bee?" Tre drawled in a slow cowboy voice. Bailey widened her eyes into her most angelically innocent expression.
"No sir. Do you?"
Tre grinned wickedly, checking for Billie Joe. Adie had gone to bed at half two, nearly an hour ago. Billie was in the corner, talking with Rob and Rob"s wife. He had his back to his daughter and Tre.
"Fancy a quick skinny dip?"
Bailey giggled, until she saw Tre was serious. "Nuh-uh. No waaay, buddy."
"Why."
"Cause. I don"t feel like it."
"Liam?" Tre asked. As he saw Bailey's face fall, he knew he had got it right. He pulled Bailey into the garden. "Wanna talk?"
"No."
"Tough."
"He wants more than I wanna give, if you get what I mean."
"I think I did get what you mean."
"Tre, how many times have I told you about the innuendoes?"
"Uh, hang on." Tre pulled out a clicker counter. He pressed the button, and the number spun round. "156 times, now."
"Dumbass."
"But doncha feel better?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Guess? Look, Honey- Bee," Tre slipped an arm around Bailey's shoulders. "Liam's a jerk. I've told you that how many times?"
It was Bailey's turn to pull out a clicker counter. "58 times."
"Smartass. Anyways, I think you"re better off without him."
"That"s what Nai said. And plus, I already decided to finish with him."
"Goodie. Does that mean you and me...? Do I still have a chance?"
Bailey stood up, and began to walk off. At Tre's last sentence, she turned back and kissed him tenderly on the lips. She spoke softly, before going back to the pool house.
"You will always have a chance, Tre Cool."
Bailey looked at her best friend in horror. "Did anyone else?"
Naomi choked on her marshmallow. "You mean he DID?"
"You didn't see... ?"
"NO! It's that thing I used to do to you... Remember? I say I'd seen you do something, so you'd admit it?"
Bailey threw another marshmallow at Naomi, and groaned. "Yes fine, bi-atch. Tre kissed me, and I would have kissed him back. But we came up before I could."
"And Liam?"
"Is a jerk. And I've decided to dump him."
"WoooHoo! So. London. CONFESS!"
Bailey reached for another marshmallow and considered it. "Don't like em raw." She reached for her lighter. (Yes she does smoke, but no adult knows. Yet. Bailey has a lot of problems, but they come in later.) Bailey flicked the lighter on, and set fire to her marshmallow. She blew out the flame as the "mallow reached the burnt stage she loved. She popped the marshmallow into her mouth, and squawked as it burnt her tongue. She saw her BF's face and sighed.
"OK, yeah. We, um slept together in London."
"Oh. Is that all?" Naomi's tone was über sarcastic.
"Uh, nope. We had quite a few, um, make out sessions on tour. Plus we may have done IT a few times as well. And I... you can guess."
Naomi"s eyes were wide, and her jaw on the flaw.
"Oh. My. God." She was distracted by the loud strains of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" floating from the house. "Question, UNDERAGE SLUT, why is your dad playing "Complicated"?"
"No, that's Nibs' new song. "Extra Cheese". Listen."
They ran into the house, and sure enough, on a makeshift stage (Adie's coffee table) Nibs was singing to the "Complicated" tune. (PS This is an actual song. My cousin downloaded it for me. "Extra Cheese". Not "Complicated")
Chalky: ("Uh, huh.")
PeeWee: ("Extra cheese.")
Chalky: ("Uh huh.")
Nibs: "Pizza party at your house
I went, just to check it out.
Nineteen extra larges,
What a shame- no one came.
Just us, eating all alone
You said "Take the pizza home.
No sense letting all this go to waste."
So then I faced,
Pizza all day
And every day there"s cheese round the clock
It"s getting me blocked
And I sure don't care
For irregularity.
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated.
In the bathroom
I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I use laxatives or go and get my colon irrigated?
No, no noo."
Bailey and Naomi screamed with laughter, clutching at their stomachs.
"Ooh, that is so going on the next album." Mike yelped. Tre was staring at Nibs in shock.
"Now, why didn't I think of that?"
Bailey slid up to Tre and pinched him playfully.
"Cause you're gettin" old, dude."
Tre glared at her, wiggling his finger in a good impression of Adie. "Ya wanna go back in the pool, Honey-Bee?" Tre drawled in a slow cowboy voice. Bailey widened her eyes into her most angelically innocent expression.
"No sir. Do you?"
Tre grinned wickedly, checking for Billie Joe. Adie had gone to bed at half two, nearly an hour ago. Billie was in the corner, talking with Rob and Rob"s wife. He had his back to his daughter and Tre.
"Fancy a quick skinny dip?"
Bailey giggled, until she saw Tre was serious. "Nuh-uh. No waaay, buddy."
"Why."
"Cause. I don"t feel like it."
"Liam?" Tre asked. As he saw Bailey's face fall, he knew he had got it right. He pulled Bailey into the garden. "Wanna talk?"
"No."
"Tough."
"He wants more than I wanna give, if you get what I mean."
"I think I did get what you mean."
"Tre, how many times have I told you about the innuendoes?"
"Uh, hang on." Tre pulled out a clicker counter. He pressed the button, and the number spun round. "156 times, now."
"Dumbass."
"But doncha feel better?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Guess? Look, Honey- Bee," Tre slipped an arm around Bailey's shoulders. "Liam's a jerk. I've told you that how many times?"
It was Bailey's turn to pull out a clicker counter. "58 times."
"Smartass. Anyways, I think you"re better off without him."
"That"s what Nai said. And plus, I already decided to finish with him."
"Goodie. Does that mean you and me...? Do I still have a chance?"
Bailey stood up, and began to walk off. At Tre's last sentence, she turned back and kissed him tenderly on the lips. She spoke softly, before going back to the pool house.
"You will always have a chance, Tre Cool."
