Don't Let Morning Come, chapter 11
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7:15 - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
Another Turning Point
A Fork Stuck In The Road
Time Grabs You By The Wrist
Directs You Where To Do
So Make The Best Of This Test
And Don't Ask Why
It's Not A Question
But A Lesson Learned In Time
It's Something Unpredictable
But In The End Is Right
I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life
So Take The Photographs
And Still Frames In Your Mind
Hang It On A Shelf
Of Good Health And Good Time
Tattoos Of Memories
And Dead Skin On Trial
For What It's Worth
It Was Worth All The While
It's Something Unpredictable
But In The End Is Right
I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life
It's Something Unpredictable
But In The End Is Right
I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life
It's Something Unpredictable
But In The End Is Right
I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life
I'm getting up now; I can't pretend morning isn't going to come. Morning is here. My Dad's here too, bustling about downstairs. He'll try to make me eat something, but I'm not giving in now, after all the struggles of last night. I won't eat, not when Jakob's having his last meal. It's stupid, me having breakfast won't change a thing. But I want Jakob to have his last meal alone, without me doing the same. More than anything, I want the world to stop, and everybody be silent for him. It doesn't even make sense to me.
I'm pulling on my suit hastily, we only have 45 minutes, and there's a lot I want to say. And sing.
I refuse to eat, so we leave early. Maybe they'll give us a bit longer with Jakob. You're only supposed to get quarter or an hour, just fifteen minutes to explain something you cannot put into words. I used to believe in the death penalty, that it was an appropriate punishment for some people. But now I can't think of a single person I would wish it on, not even Frankito. They say, 'An eye for an eye, a life for a life', but Jakob took one life by accident. The executioner will take mine, and my Dad's. And he took our Mum's a long time ago. Par t of me's glad she's not here; I wouldn't want this for her. She knew what was gong to happen, I know she did. She just could bear the thought of being around to see it.
It's a short walk to the prison; Jakob was allowed to stay in Berkley. The sun is up completely now, and the grass is glistening with morning dew. Nothing's changed, the world hasn't stopped. The world doesn't care that my brother is going to die. I can see our old school, Pinole Valley, and the marks we left on the gate where we used to sit and swing. I was always on the left side, in the corner. And Jakob was always next to me. I can see Tight Wad Hill, where Frankito used to hold the Wild Walks with his friends. I went sledging on that hill every Christmas. We had race, me and Jakob against Stella and Ramona. I can see the football fields, now with proper goals and markings. They were just muddy grass the last time I played on them.
And already I can see the barbed wire of that omininous building. It is a prison for people on Death Row, and where they are killed. It is a place for evil, dangerous men. It is not a place for Jakob, who is neither evil, nor dangerous. He is frightened.
We arrive there in plenty of time, and are escorted to a small room. We are told Jakob will be brought in at 7:45 and not before. Ramona, Stella and my Uncle Mike are already there, and they don't look like they've slept much either. Mike gets my Dad a coffee and tells him it will all be over soon. But I don't want it to be over. I want to thank Ramona for everything she's done, but I don't want to break the silence. We did a puzzle at primary school once - 'What is so delicate, that when you say its name you break it'. The answer was silence, and the winner got a bar of chocolate. It was little Liam Woods; I haven't seen him in years. He was the smartest boy in my year, and couldn't have been more different to me and Jakob if he tried.
I think my Josh will turn out like that, quiet. He looks like Jakob though, same hair, same eyes, same smile. I'll make sure he doesn't go the same way though. I'll never let anybody pick on him. I'll never let hi get so frustrated, he'll kill. Even when I'm gone, Josh will keep his uncle's memory alive. I'll tell him, and Angel, all about Jakob. One day.
They're bringing him in now, and he's thinner than I remember. But he doesn't look sad, or scared. Today his suffering will end; it will be all over in fifteen minutes.
"Hey everyone" Jakob says, "Nice morning, isn't it"
It could be lashing with rain, and he wouldn't know any different. I don't think he's had a window, even thought I've been hoping he had for years. Suddenly I find myself sobbing, flinging myself at him, and begging it not to be true. And he holds me.
"No tears Joey" he whispers in my ear, "This is going to be hard enough, without tears. I'm alright Joey, really. I could have got hit by a bus any day, at least this way we get a chance to say goodbye. You believe in heaven?"
I shake my head, wanting to be honest with him.
"Really?" says Jakob, "Well I do. I think I'll see Mum again, let's just hope I don't run into old Frankito up there"
He suddenly grips me tight.
"I'm going to hell, aren't I Joey?" he asks, shaking, "I'll go to hell because I murdered somebody?"
"You're not going to hell" I whisper back, "You won't, I swear"
Then he turns to Stella and Ramona, brave again.
"Don't I get a hug then?" he asks cheerfully, and they both hang onto him as if they'll never let go. When we were little, we'd have a group huddle. We're acting like children now, giggling and hugging each other. But every one of us has tears falling down our face, a dark cloud of dread hanging over us.
Then our Dad takes Jakob aside, tells him he loves him and he's proud of him. And he'll never, ever, forget.
And before I know it, the warden come in and says our time is us. He says he'll have to put the handcuffs on Jakob, and take him away to the execution room.
"Aw sir" Jakob moans, "I'll be good, I promise. Just leave the cuffs off, please"
So the warden agrees and tells Jakob he had to get moving now. Jakob grins at us,, he is a whole lot braver than me. I mean to be silent and respectful when they lead him down that corridor. But I'm not, I sing. I sing Platypus (I hate you), I shout it down the hall. Ramona and Stella join in, so do my Dad and Uncle Mike. And Jakob sings back, we can still hear him as they take him into the room. He has a good voice, I've never noticed before. Now it's too late, even if he wanted to, he'll never do what my Dad did. I don't think he would anyway, even if he had the choice. He'd have like a quiet life.
He is still singing when another man goes into the room. He must be the executioner, just doing his job. He gets paid to kill. In my eyes he is worse than Jakob. He knows what he is dong, he wasn't pushed into it. We hear him say 'hello again', the warden, and we hear Jakob say, "Afternoon"
He knows full well it is morning; he is just being cheeky, trying to make everything easier.
"Don't mind if I sing do you?" we hear Jakob ask, "You can close your ears if I sound crap"
We all laugh then, and we laugh at the thought of the look on the executioners face when Jakob gets to the rudest parts of the song.
But then the singing stops suddenly, and all is silent.
My brother is dead.
The warden comes out and tell us it is over, and there is counselling available.
I don't listen.
I keep singing.
THE END
Another Turning Point
A Fork Stuck In The Road
Time Grabs You By The Wrist
Directs You Where To Do
So Make The Best Of This Test
And Don't Ask Why
It's Not A Question
But A Lesson Learned In Time
It's Something Unpredictable
But In The End Is Right
I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life
So Take The Photographs
And Still Frames In Your Mind
Hang It On A Shelf
Of Good Health And Good Time
Tattoos Of Memories
And Dead Skin On Trial
For What It's Worth
It Was Worth All The While
It's Something Unpredictable
But In The End Is Right
I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life
It's Something Unpredictable
But In The End Is Right
I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life
It's Something Unpredictable
But In The End Is Right
I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life
I'm getting up now; I can't pretend morning isn't going to come. Morning is here. My Dad's here too, bustling about downstairs. He'll try to make me eat something, but I'm not giving in now, after all the struggles of last night. I won't eat, not when Jakob's having his last meal. It's stupid, me having breakfast won't change a thing. But I want Jakob to have his last meal alone, without me doing the same. More than anything, I want the world to stop, and everybody be silent for him. It doesn't even make sense to me.
I'm pulling on my suit hastily, we only have 45 minutes, and there's a lot I want to say. And sing.
I refuse to eat, so we leave early. Maybe they'll give us a bit longer with Jakob. You're only supposed to get quarter or an hour, just fifteen minutes to explain something you cannot put into words. I used to believe in the death penalty, that it was an appropriate punishment for some people. But now I can't think of a single person I would wish it on, not even Frankito. They say, 'An eye for an eye, a life for a life', but Jakob took one life by accident. The executioner will take mine, and my Dad's. And he took our Mum's a long time ago. Par t of me's glad she's not here; I wouldn't want this for her. She knew what was gong to happen, I know she did. She just could bear the thought of being around to see it.
It's a short walk to the prison; Jakob was allowed to stay in Berkley. The sun is up completely now, and the grass is glistening with morning dew. Nothing's changed, the world hasn't stopped. The world doesn't care that my brother is going to die. I can see our old school, Pinole Valley, and the marks we left on the gate where we used to sit and swing. I was always on the left side, in the corner. And Jakob was always next to me. I can see Tight Wad Hill, where Frankito used to hold the Wild Walks with his friends. I went sledging on that hill every Christmas. We had race, me and Jakob against Stella and Ramona. I can see the football fields, now with proper goals and markings. They were just muddy grass the last time I played on them.
And already I can see the barbed wire of that omininous building. It is a prison for people on Death Row, and where they are killed. It is a place for evil, dangerous men. It is not a place for Jakob, who is neither evil, nor dangerous. He is frightened.
We arrive there in plenty of time, and are escorted to a small room. We are told Jakob will be brought in at 7:45 and not before. Ramona, Stella and my Uncle Mike are already there, and they don't look like they've slept much either. Mike gets my Dad a coffee and tells him it will all be over soon. But I don't want it to be over. I want to thank Ramona for everything she's done, but I don't want to break the silence. We did a puzzle at primary school once - 'What is so delicate, that when you say its name you break it'. The answer was silence, and the winner got a bar of chocolate. It was little Liam Woods; I haven't seen him in years. He was the smartest boy in my year, and couldn't have been more different to me and Jakob if he tried.
I think my Josh will turn out like that, quiet. He looks like Jakob though, same hair, same eyes, same smile. I'll make sure he doesn't go the same way though. I'll never let anybody pick on him. I'll never let hi get so frustrated, he'll kill. Even when I'm gone, Josh will keep his uncle's memory alive. I'll tell him, and Angel, all about Jakob. One day.
They're bringing him in now, and he's thinner than I remember. But he doesn't look sad, or scared. Today his suffering will end; it will be all over in fifteen minutes.
"Hey everyone" Jakob says, "Nice morning, isn't it"
It could be lashing with rain, and he wouldn't know any different. I don't think he's had a window, even thought I've been hoping he had for years. Suddenly I find myself sobbing, flinging myself at him, and begging it not to be true. And he holds me.
"No tears Joey" he whispers in my ear, "This is going to be hard enough, without tears. I'm alright Joey, really. I could have got hit by a bus any day, at least this way we get a chance to say goodbye. You believe in heaven?"
I shake my head, wanting to be honest with him.
"Really?" says Jakob, "Well I do. I think I'll see Mum again, let's just hope I don't run into old Frankito up there"
He suddenly grips me tight.
"I'm going to hell, aren't I Joey?" he asks, shaking, "I'll go to hell because I murdered somebody?"
"You're not going to hell" I whisper back, "You won't, I swear"
Then he turns to Stella and Ramona, brave again.
"Don't I get a hug then?" he asks cheerfully, and they both hang onto him as if they'll never let go. When we were little, we'd have a group huddle. We're acting like children now, giggling and hugging each other. But every one of us has tears falling down our face, a dark cloud of dread hanging over us.
Then our Dad takes Jakob aside, tells him he loves him and he's proud of him. And he'll never, ever, forget.
And before I know it, the warden come in and says our time is us. He says he'll have to put the handcuffs on Jakob, and take him away to the execution room.
"Aw sir" Jakob moans, "I'll be good, I promise. Just leave the cuffs off, please"
So the warden agrees and tells Jakob he had to get moving now. Jakob grins at us,, he is a whole lot braver than me. I mean to be silent and respectful when they lead him down that corridor. But I'm not, I sing. I sing Platypus (I hate you), I shout it down the hall. Ramona and Stella join in, so do my Dad and Uncle Mike. And Jakob sings back, we can still hear him as they take him into the room. He has a good voice, I've never noticed before. Now it's too late, even if he wanted to, he'll never do what my Dad did. I don't think he would anyway, even if he had the choice. He'd have like a quiet life.
He is still singing when another man goes into the room. He must be the executioner, just doing his job. He gets paid to kill. In my eyes he is worse than Jakob. He knows what he is dong, he wasn't pushed into it. We hear him say 'hello again', the warden, and we hear Jakob say, "Afternoon"
He knows full well it is morning; he is just being cheeky, trying to make everything easier.
"Don't mind if I sing do you?" we hear Jakob ask, "You can close your ears if I sound crap"
We all laugh then, and we laugh at the thought of the look on the executioners face when Jakob gets to the rudest parts of the song.
But then the singing stops suddenly, and all is silent.
My brother is dead.
The warden comes out and tell us it is over, and there is counselling available.
I don't listen.
I keep singing.
THE END
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