What You Remind Me Of, chapter 2
There are moments that last forever. And, there are moments that fly by... Without a warning.
I spent days, weeks, months killing my self on the inside for not getting on the plane. But, I told myself that he would be back for me. One way or another. Two years had gone by. I had convinced myself that I had forgotten about Billie. But yet, there are subtle wounds that will never heel, and invisible scars that a love like that leaves behind. And yet.
I made myself fall in love with Travis, a guy I met in my English class in UCLA. I'm not going to bore you with all of the in-betweens. They don't matter.
Three years had gone by, and I had moved into Travis's apartment.
"Mel, why don't we go out tonight? It's been such a long time since we've left this apartment." I don't think Travis understood, that no matter what, everywhere I went, Bill was always there.
I looked at him, thinking about what I should say. "Yeah... Ok. Whatever. Where are we going?"
"Mmm... How about... To a movie. How's that sound?"
"Sure," I said emotionless.
"Are you ok, my love?" my love... Please God. No Tears, not now. Billie... Travis... No one's called me that since him.
Deep breath. "Yes!" fake a smile. If I don't have anyone with me, I'll go crazy. I'll only think of things I regret.
I was ok. We were in the car. Then, I made the biggest mistake I could have. I turned on the radio.
Out of the speakers of Travis's car came a voice that I hadn't heard in... Three years.
"I heard you crying loud/All the way across town/You've been searching for that someone/And it's me out on the prowl/ As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself/Don't get lonely now/And dry your whining eyes/I'm just roaming for the moment"
"Ohmigod... Holy shit," I said.
"What? Are you ok baby? You've not heard this band before?"
"Wha-"
"Green Day, I think," he said as we sat still at the red light, "if you don't like 'em we can chan-"
"NO... No, I just remember.... Uhhhh... Today's one of my really good friends.... Back in Georgia.... Her.... It's her birthday." I could hear my heart pounding in my chest.
"Oooook. Listen, maybe we should just go back hom-"
"No, hunny, I re... I wanna see a movie."
I was amazed. Green Day. Green. Day. Green. Fucking. Day. Billie's band. Billie. Billie... Joe...
Billie's POV
Fuck. Holy fuck. I had a wife. Two kids. Fame. A band, that kicks ass, I might add. Everything anyone could ever want. And yet. "Billie," my wife brought me back to earth. "You still with us?"
"Mmmm, yeah... Just ready to get this over with," I said referring to the performance I was going to do in T minus three minutes. "Adi... I... Thanks."
"For what? The kids or that quickie?"
A smile formed on my face. "Both, and for putting up with my shit. I know I can be a bitch some times... "
"I love you, Bill, you know that?"
"Yeah... I... I love you."
"SO, Freakin ass Green Day is about to sing for us! What'll it be boys?" the host of this show was a moron.
"Umm, actually, we're gonna go back to our last album. This is a little ditty we like to call 'Good Riddance'... So... " Mike said. Thank you God for Mike. He was a lifesaver. I was lost in thoughts of the song. And he could tell...
"Another turning point a fork stuck in the road/Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go/So make the best of this test and don't ask why/It's not a question but a lesson learned in time//It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life//So take the photographs and still frames in your mind/Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time/Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while//It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life/It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life/It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life//"
"Jesus," I said to myself. Travis was out with his friends, for the first time in a year. And I was all alone in the apartment. I decided to watch TV. BIG FREAKIN MISTAKE!
Nice Mel. Watch you ex on TV. Listen to a song that's obviously about you. Let those memories that, along with all of the things that he left behind and things he gave you and things from yesteryears, are in a box in the back of your closet, come flooding back. All at once. Oh God, now drops fall out of my eyes. NICE MEL. Fucking dumb ass. Just turn the damned TV off. "Why do you do this to me! UGH! Billie Joe!" I screamed, to... Well... Myself.
Billie's POV
I looked over at my wife, the covers moving up and down in harmony to her steady breathing. The room was dark, except for the eerie green light that the clock gave. 3:09 AM. Was it a muse? No, a ghost kept me awake. Get over it Bill. Mel- she's gone. She's probably married by now. Hell, bill, she may even have kids. And so are you, and so do you. So stop. Just be happy you feel for someone else. Thank God it was Adi. But yet. I let out a rather long sigh. I hear a cry coming from Jake's bedroom. Adi stirs. "I'll get him, Ad, just go back to sleep." I walk out of our bedroom, down the hall, third door on the left. "Hey buddy," I say to my youngest son, tiring to sooth him.
"Daddy, I had a bad dream," he manages between big, deep shaky breathes.
"It's ok, little man. It's ok. Daddy's here." I pulled him into my lap as I rocked him in the rocking chair that, even though he's 5, is still in his room.
"Da... Daddy, will you sing to me?"
I smile. "Yeah, sure will little man." I start humming. Bub, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, bub, dum. I started singing, "She's a rebel/She's a saint/She's salt of the earth/And she's dangerous/" I heard him snore softly. I put him in bed, and went to the kitchen and begin to write.
I spent days, weeks, months killing my self on the inside for not getting on the plane. But, I told myself that he would be back for me. One way or another. Two years had gone by. I had convinced myself that I had forgotten about Billie. But yet, there are subtle wounds that will never heel, and invisible scars that a love like that leaves behind. And yet.
I made myself fall in love with Travis, a guy I met in my English class in UCLA. I'm not going to bore you with all of the in-betweens. They don't matter.
Three years had gone by, and I had moved into Travis's apartment.
"Mel, why don't we go out tonight? It's been such a long time since we've left this apartment." I don't think Travis understood, that no matter what, everywhere I went, Bill was always there.
I looked at him, thinking about what I should say. "Yeah... Ok. Whatever. Where are we going?"
"Mmm... How about... To a movie. How's that sound?"
"Sure," I said emotionless.
"Are you ok, my love?" my love... Please God. No Tears, not now. Billie... Travis... No one's called me that since him.
Deep breath. "Yes!" fake a smile. If I don't have anyone with me, I'll go crazy. I'll only think of things I regret.
I was ok. We were in the car. Then, I made the biggest mistake I could have. I turned on the radio.
Out of the speakers of Travis's car came a voice that I hadn't heard in... Three years.
"I heard you crying loud/All the way across town/You've been searching for that someone/And it's me out on the prowl/ As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself/Don't get lonely now/And dry your whining eyes/I'm just roaming for the moment"
"Ohmigod... Holy shit," I said.
"What? Are you ok baby? You've not heard this band before?"
"Wha-"
"Green Day, I think," he said as we sat still at the red light, "if you don't like 'em we can chan-"
"NO... No, I just remember.... Uhhhh... Today's one of my really good friends.... Back in Georgia.... Her.... It's her birthday." I could hear my heart pounding in my chest.
"Oooook. Listen, maybe we should just go back hom-"
"No, hunny, I re... I wanna see a movie."
I was amazed. Green Day. Green. Day. Green. Fucking. Day. Billie's band. Billie. Billie... Joe...
Billie's POV
Fuck. Holy fuck. I had a wife. Two kids. Fame. A band, that kicks ass, I might add. Everything anyone could ever want. And yet. "Billie," my wife brought me back to earth. "You still with us?"
"Mmmm, yeah... Just ready to get this over with," I said referring to the performance I was going to do in T minus three minutes. "Adi... I... Thanks."
"For what? The kids or that quickie?"
A smile formed on my face. "Both, and for putting up with my shit. I know I can be a bitch some times... "
"I love you, Bill, you know that?"
"Yeah... I... I love you."
"SO, Freakin ass Green Day is about to sing for us! What'll it be boys?" the host of this show was a moron.
"Umm, actually, we're gonna go back to our last album. This is a little ditty we like to call 'Good Riddance'... So... " Mike said. Thank you God for Mike. He was a lifesaver. I was lost in thoughts of the song. And he could tell...
"Another turning point a fork stuck in the road/Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go/So make the best of this test and don't ask why/It's not a question but a lesson learned in time//It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life//So take the photographs and still frames in your mind/Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time/Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while//It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life/It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life/It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life//"
"Jesus," I said to myself. Travis was out with his friends, for the first time in a year. And I was all alone in the apartment. I decided to watch TV. BIG FREAKIN MISTAKE!
Nice Mel. Watch you ex on TV. Listen to a song that's obviously about you. Let those memories that, along with all of the things that he left behind and things he gave you and things from yesteryears, are in a box in the back of your closet, come flooding back. All at once. Oh God, now drops fall out of my eyes. NICE MEL. Fucking dumb ass. Just turn the damned TV off. "Why do you do this to me! UGH! Billie Joe!" I screamed, to... Well... Myself.
Billie's POV
I looked over at my wife, the covers moving up and down in harmony to her steady breathing. The room was dark, except for the eerie green light that the clock gave. 3:09 AM. Was it a muse? No, a ghost kept me awake. Get over it Bill. Mel- she's gone. She's probably married by now. Hell, bill, she may even have kids. And so are you, and so do you. So stop. Just be happy you feel for someone else. Thank God it was Adi. But yet. I let out a rather long sigh. I hear a cry coming from Jake's bedroom. Adi stirs. "I'll get him, Ad, just go back to sleep." I walk out of our bedroom, down the hall, third door on the left. "Hey buddy," I say to my youngest son, tiring to sooth him.
"Daddy, I had a bad dream," he manages between big, deep shaky breathes.
"It's ok, little man. It's ok. Daddy's here." I pulled him into my lap as I rocked him in the rocking chair that, even though he's 5, is still in his room.
"Da... Daddy, will you sing to me?"
I smile. "Yeah, sure will little man." I start humming. Bub, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, bub, dum. I started singing, "She's a rebel/She's a saint/She's salt of the earth/And she's dangerous/" I heard him snore softly. I put him in bed, and went to the kitchen and begin to write.
