Whispered Confessions, chapter 13
Crash woke up with a headache the size of Texas.
"Aw shit" Crash mumbled, as she stumbled out of bed. She needed a painkiller.
Crash stumbled down the hall, and into the kitchen, where she found Gerard pacing. He looked as if he hadn't slept all night, he ran a hand through his hair. It lookedlike he had done that a lot. Crash nearly fell into the kitchen, considering that her eyes weren't in focus yet, and Gerard stopped dead in his tracks.
"Head...aches...feels like....Bob going crazy...in my head." Crash groaned, and plopped down in a chair. Gerard handed her a glass of water and some aspirin.
"You look like you've hadn't slept all night.....worried about something?" Crash asked, gulping down the water with much fire.
"Yes...you" Crash looked Gerard in the eye. His eyes had bags under them, and he looked at her, concerened. Crash shifted uneasily in her seat. Flashbacks from yesterday started coming to her.
"Show" Greard demanded. Crash hesitated, but lifted her sleeve all the same. If you know the right lotion to rub, it was practically invisible, the cuts looked more like veins. But Crash usually wore sweatbands or cuffs just in case. Gerard fell back into his seat and buried his face in his hands.
"I'm so sorry, Crash. If I just paid more attention, I could ha-" Crash moved her finger delicately over Gerard's lips to quiet him.
"Gerard, you can't always protect me. You were always a brother to me, but this was my own fault. I just couldn't stop myself." Gerard opened his mouth to talk, but this time Crash placed her hand over his mouth. She felt his warm, soothing breath on her hand. She swallowed.
"Gerard, listen, no, listen! This wasn't your fault! You can't protect me forever from everything!" Crash removed her hand. There was an akward, ringing silence, but Crash broke it.
"Look, go get some sleep, we have work later today" Crash got up, but Gerard pulled her back down.
"We're not done." Crash sighed.
"Why didn't you tell me about the abortion? I thought you could tell me anything." Crash looked up and saw the hurt in his eyes. Crash felt a tear roll down her cheek.
" I was ashamed! I was at Mark for dumping me, dumping on myself that I let this happen, and I was scared! I wasn't ready! I could barely keep myself alive, and I was expected to raise a kid? I just-" Crash was cut off by Gerard hugging her. Crash found tears running down her face. She buried her face in the crook of Gerard's neck. Gerard soothingly stroked her head.
"You weren't expected to do anything like that. I just wish you didn't have to do that alone." Gerard whispered into her ear. He felt his shirt getting wetter and wetter by the second.
"I'm...I'm sorry. I thought that you would judge me" Crash whispered, sniffling a little.
"I wouldn't. I never would." Crash gave a feeble laugh.
"Gee?"
"Yes?"
"Don't tell Frankie. I don't want him to worry"
"Wouldn't even dream of it" Crash smiled into Gerard's shirt, and Gerard gently cradled Crash, as if she was the most delicate thing at the moment. He kissed the top of her head.
"I wouldn't even dream of it" He whispered into her ear.
"Aw shit" Crash mumbled, as she stumbled out of bed. She needed a painkiller.
Crash stumbled down the hall, and into the kitchen, where she found Gerard pacing. He looked as if he hadn't slept all night, he ran a hand through his hair. It lookedlike he had done that a lot. Crash nearly fell into the kitchen, considering that her eyes weren't in focus yet, and Gerard stopped dead in his tracks.
"Head...aches...feels like....Bob going crazy...in my head." Crash groaned, and plopped down in a chair. Gerard handed her a glass of water and some aspirin.
"You look like you've hadn't slept all night.....worried about something?" Crash asked, gulping down the water with much fire.
"Yes...you" Crash looked Gerard in the eye. His eyes had bags under them, and he looked at her, concerened. Crash shifted uneasily in her seat. Flashbacks from yesterday started coming to her.
"Show" Greard demanded. Crash hesitated, but lifted her sleeve all the same. If you know the right lotion to rub, it was practically invisible, the cuts looked more like veins. But Crash usually wore sweatbands or cuffs just in case. Gerard fell back into his seat and buried his face in his hands.
"I'm so sorry, Crash. If I just paid more attention, I could ha-" Crash moved her finger delicately over Gerard's lips to quiet him.
"Gerard, you can't always protect me. You were always a brother to me, but this was my own fault. I just couldn't stop myself." Gerard opened his mouth to talk, but this time Crash placed her hand over his mouth. She felt his warm, soothing breath on her hand. She swallowed.
"Gerard, listen, no, listen! This wasn't your fault! You can't protect me forever from everything!" Crash removed her hand. There was an akward, ringing silence, but Crash broke it.
"Look, go get some sleep, we have work later today" Crash got up, but Gerard pulled her back down.
"We're not done." Crash sighed.
"Why didn't you tell me about the abortion? I thought you could tell me anything." Crash looked up and saw the hurt in his eyes. Crash felt a tear roll down her cheek.
" I was ashamed! I was at Mark for dumping me, dumping on myself that I let this happen, and I was scared! I wasn't ready! I could barely keep myself alive, and I was expected to raise a kid? I just-" Crash was cut off by Gerard hugging her. Crash found tears running down her face. She buried her face in the crook of Gerard's neck. Gerard soothingly stroked her head.
"You weren't expected to do anything like that. I just wish you didn't have to do that alone." Gerard whispered into her ear. He felt his shirt getting wetter and wetter by the second.
"I'm...I'm sorry. I thought that you would judge me" Crash whispered, sniffling a little.
"I wouldn't. I never would." Crash gave a feeble laugh.
"Gee?"
"Yes?"
"Don't tell Frankie. I don't want him to worry"
"Wouldn't even dream of it" Crash smiled into Gerard's shirt, and Gerard gently cradled Crash, as if she was the most delicate thing at the moment. He kissed the top of her head.
"I wouldn't even dream of it" He whispered into her ear.
