Hell Yes. I said GREEN DAY in my algebra class., chapter 3
Longview ended up, it finally came into my head, that Lindsay and I were going to Starbucks with Green Day. What the hell would my parents think when they pulled into the school parkinglot to have my math teacher run up to them and say that I've run off with a punk band.
And then it came into my head...that I didn't fucking care. This was the kind of thing I had always dreamed about, and the last thing that would get in my way were my parents.
Anyhoo, we strolled along the small city road for ten more minutes until Tre broke the silence.
"GodDAMN!!"
Billie and Mike went with it...and asked what was wrong.
"I forgot to feed Kinky!!!"
Billie broke out laughing, "You forgot to feed the chinchilla you ass!??!"
"YES!! Goddammit!!"
Lindsay and I also broke out laughing....maybe it was the fact that Tre had a chinchilla named Kinky....or maybe it was the timing. I dunno, but it was fucking funny...
As we were about to pull in the Starbucks, Billie pushed a button that made the cover of the convertible come on. The three then, as if rehearsed, put on sunglasses all simultaneously. It was... well...really weird. Lindsay and I looked at them...waiting for them to get out of the car.
"Uhh...aren't you guys coming?", I asked...Billie Joe spoke up as if he was answering the stupidest question on the planet.
"Of course not!! We'll get mobbed!!"
Mike also spoke up. "Ha, yea you guys. That does seem pretty obvious..now doesn't it?"
Yea...that was obvious. If Green Day were to casually walk into Starbucks to order a frappuccino, they would totally get mobbed...
I then looked at them and asked, "Okay... so what do you guys want?"
They all looked at each other, "The usuals".
The Usuals? They obviously went to Starbucks frequently.
I then looked at them, "And the 'usuals' would be... ??"
Mike spoke up... "One tall frappuccino with low fat whip cream, one Chai tea with Splenda, and a hot chocolate... grande"
"Damn!! You spoiled ass rock stars!!", Lindsay blurted out and laughed.
Lindsay and I then got out of the car and walked into the little coffee house.
Back in the car, Tre laughed and said... "We should ditch 'em"
"Tre you asshole!"... Mike obviously didn't agree.
But then Billie added "No! Lets do it! Just around the corner though."
Tre rolled his eyes... "Only around the corner?... okay."
Billie then quietly turned on the car and backed out of the parkinglot. He rolled into another parkinglot a block from Starbucks... behind a dumpster.
Mike laughed, "Billie, it stinks here. You had to pull up behind a dumpster?"
"Shut up, it's not that bad! Besides... .ten bucks says it's Tre and not the dumpster"
"Hey! I do not smell like shit!!!"
"Well only when you get out of the shower you idiot!"
"Stop it you guys!"
There was a silence... and then then they broke out into laughter.
~ Back in Starbucks ~
Lindsay and I waited in the line.
"Hey Linds...if Green Day comes into Starbucks often and they even have 'usuals'...then who goes into Starbucks for them?"
"I have no fucking clue"...I stared at her.
We got to the front of the line eventually and ordered the drinks.
"Uhh... hi. I'll have one frappuccino with low fat whip cream, one chai tea with splenda sugar, one grande hot chocolate, one strawberries and cream... tall please, and a caramel apple cider... umm..grande."
The cashier looked at us. "Are you girls gonna drink all that?"
Lindsay lost her patience, "Listen bitch, there's people in the car that we're ordering for and we can not have them wait so make the damn coffee and get on with your minimal-wage duties!"
I laughed. And the cashier gave us a dirty look, "That'll be $10.57 please." Lindsay forked over the money and stood by the window with me.
Lindsay sighed , "So hard to find good help these days, huh Holly?"
I laughed, "I guess so."
We waited for about 2 minutes and then Lindsay stared into the empty parkinglot.
"Holly...where are the guys?" She looked as if she was about to cry.
"Oh my god... .did they ditch us????" I was about to cry too.
We ran as fast as we could out of the coffee house and searched all over. The guys were no where to be found.
We stood silently, looking around. I spoke up, "Okay... umm... don't panic... .maybe they... umm...ran an errand!"
Lindsay looked at me with a sarcastic face... "Give it up Holly! They ditched us!!!!... I knew Green Day in our algebra class was to good to be true!"
A tear rolled down my face...I ran around everywhere until I came upon a parkinglot with an unusually large dumpster... ..there they were. I was so reileived to them sitting there in the car.
Goddamn... .that scared me.
I ran over to them, "Why the fuck did you guys do that!!!??!?!?"
Mike looked at Billie and Tre... "It was their idea!!!"
Billie rolled his eyes and Tre laughed.
Then Lindsay came around the corner and immediately screamed.
She ran up to the car and gave the guys each a huge hug that probably could've popped their eyeballs out.
Billie laughed, "Uhh... we missed you too."
Lindsay gave Billie a big kiss and then stepped back into the car.
Billie looked at me with a "do you know why the hell she did that" look and I shrugged.
I spoke up again.."Ya know guys... that was really mean."
Lindsay cut in, "Yea, I think you should have to go in Starbucks and get the drinks yourselves..."
I then remembered my brother's Halloween costume that had been in my backpack since I took it to school... .for some reason... ..don't ask.
"Wearing a toga." I laughed.
"And where, might I ask... do you have a toga?" Billie asked.
"And why!?" Tre laughed.
"Er... Brother's Halloween costume... don't ask"
Billie cut in, "Well, I can imagine a dumbass like Tre going into Starbucks wearing a toga to pick up a frappuccino... but not me!"
Then came a silence... everyone looked at Tre.
"Okay! Okay! I'll do it!!! Where's the toga?"
I pulled it out of my backpack and gave it to Tre. He slipped it on, ontop of his clothes... which made him look ten times stupider. We gave him some sunglasses so some asshole teenie wouldn't come and mob him.
He walked around the dumpster and then into Starbucks. Everyone stared. Some people had their jaws dropped, some were laughing their head off... .some just ignored it.
Tre looked around the place to see all eyes on him. He broke the silence and ran around the room chanting, "TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"
And after about 5 minutes of chanting, "TOGA!" the Starbucks manager came out and stood in front of him.
"Um... sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"FUCK NO YOU AREN'T!!! I NEED MY COFFEE!!! AND YOU MESSED UP MY TOGA PARTY YOU ASS!!"
The manager looked alarmed, "Who the hell are you?"
Tre stumbled, "I am...um...I'M JULIUS CAESER BITCH!!! NOW GIVE ME MY COFFEE!!!!"
"Do you have a receipt?"
Tre pulled it out of his pocket..."Yes I DO!" He gave it to the manager who then rolled his eyes..."Order #456...One frappuccino, One chai tea, one hot chocolate, one strawberries and cream, and one caramel apple cider?"
"Fuck Yes! That's me!!"
The cashier sighed, "Would you like a drink carrier?"
"NO! I don't need it! I'm HERCULES BITCH!"
"It's coffee, not weights...and didn't you say you were Julius Caeser?"
Tre hesitated... "Well then I'm Hercules Ceaser goddammit!!!"
Tre took the drinks and ran off to the car...
And then it came into my head...that I didn't fucking care. This was the kind of thing I had always dreamed about, and the last thing that would get in my way were my parents.
Anyhoo, we strolled along the small city road for ten more minutes until Tre broke the silence.
"GodDAMN!!"
Billie and Mike went with it...and asked what was wrong.
"I forgot to feed Kinky!!!"
Billie broke out laughing, "You forgot to feed the chinchilla you ass!??!"
"YES!! Goddammit!!"
Lindsay and I also broke out laughing....maybe it was the fact that Tre had a chinchilla named Kinky....or maybe it was the timing. I dunno, but it was fucking funny...
As we were about to pull in the Starbucks, Billie pushed a button that made the cover of the convertible come on. The three then, as if rehearsed, put on sunglasses all simultaneously. It was... well...really weird. Lindsay and I looked at them...waiting for them to get out of the car.
"Uhh...aren't you guys coming?", I asked...Billie Joe spoke up as if he was answering the stupidest question on the planet.
"Of course not!! We'll get mobbed!!"
Mike also spoke up. "Ha, yea you guys. That does seem pretty obvious..now doesn't it?"
Yea...that was obvious. If Green Day were to casually walk into Starbucks to order a frappuccino, they would totally get mobbed...
I then looked at them and asked, "Okay... so what do you guys want?"
They all looked at each other, "The usuals".
The Usuals? They obviously went to Starbucks frequently.
I then looked at them, "And the 'usuals' would be... ??"
Mike spoke up... "One tall frappuccino with low fat whip cream, one Chai tea with Splenda, and a hot chocolate... grande"
"Damn!! You spoiled ass rock stars!!", Lindsay blurted out and laughed.
Lindsay and I then got out of the car and walked into the little coffee house.
Back in the car, Tre laughed and said... "We should ditch 'em"
"Tre you asshole!"... Mike obviously didn't agree.
But then Billie added "No! Lets do it! Just around the corner though."
Tre rolled his eyes... "Only around the corner?... okay."
Billie then quietly turned on the car and backed out of the parkinglot. He rolled into another parkinglot a block from Starbucks... behind a dumpster.
Mike laughed, "Billie, it stinks here. You had to pull up behind a dumpster?"
"Shut up, it's not that bad! Besides... .ten bucks says it's Tre and not the dumpster"
"Hey! I do not smell like shit!!!"
"Well only when you get out of the shower you idiot!"
"Stop it you guys!"
There was a silence... and then then they broke out into laughter.
~ Back in Starbucks ~
Lindsay and I waited in the line.
"Hey Linds...if Green Day comes into Starbucks often and they even have 'usuals'...then who goes into Starbucks for them?"
"I have no fucking clue"...I stared at her.
We got to the front of the line eventually and ordered the drinks.
"Uhh... hi. I'll have one frappuccino with low fat whip cream, one chai tea with splenda sugar, one grande hot chocolate, one strawberries and cream... tall please, and a caramel apple cider... umm..grande."
The cashier looked at us. "Are you girls gonna drink all that?"
Lindsay lost her patience, "Listen bitch, there's people in the car that we're ordering for and we can not have them wait so make the damn coffee and get on with your minimal-wage duties!"
I laughed. And the cashier gave us a dirty look, "That'll be $10.57 please." Lindsay forked over the money and stood by the window with me.
Lindsay sighed , "So hard to find good help these days, huh Holly?"
I laughed, "I guess so."
We waited for about 2 minutes and then Lindsay stared into the empty parkinglot.
"Holly...where are the guys?" She looked as if she was about to cry.
"Oh my god... .did they ditch us????" I was about to cry too.
We ran as fast as we could out of the coffee house and searched all over. The guys were no where to be found.
We stood silently, looking around. I spoke up, "Okay... umm... don't panic... .maybe they... umm...ran an errand!"
Lindsay looked at me with a sarcastic face... "Give it up Holly! They ditched us!!!!... I knew Green Day in our algebra class was to good to be true!"
A tear rolled down my face...I ran around everywhere until I came upon a parkinglot with an unusually large dumpster... ..there they were. I was so reileived to them sitting there in the car.
Goddamn... .that scared me.
I ran over to them, "Why the fuck did you guys do that!!!??!?!?"
Mike looked at Billie and Tre... "It was their idea!!!"
Billie rolled his eyes and Tre laughed.
Then Lindsay came around the corner and immediately screamed.
She ran up to the car and gave the guys each a huge hug that probably could've popped their eyeballs out.
Billie laughed, "Uhh... we missed you too."
Lindsay gave Billie a big kiss and then stepped back into the car.
Billie looked at me with a "do you know why the hell she did that" look and I shrugged.
I spoke up again.."Ya know guys... that was really mean."
Lindsay cut in, "Yea, I think you should have to go in Starbucks and get the drinks yourselves..."
I then remembered my brother's Halloween costume that had been in my backpack since I took it to school... .for some reason... ..don't ask.
"Wearing a toga." I laughed.
"And where, might I ask... do you have a toga?" Billie asked.
"And why!?" Tre laughed.
"Er... Brother's Halloween costume... don't ask"
Billie cut in, "Well, I can imagine a dumbass like Tre going into Starbucks wearing a toga to pick up a frappuccino... but not me!"
Then came a silence... everyone looked at Tre.
"Okay! Okay! I'll do it!!! Where's the toga?"
I pulled it out of my backpack and gave it to Tre. He slipped it on, ontop of his clothes... which made him look ten times stupider. We gave him some sunglasses so some asshole teenie wouldn't come and mob him.
He walked around the dumpster and then into Starbucks. Everyone stared. Some people had their jaws dropped, some were laughing their head off... .some just ignored it.
Tre looked around the place to see all eyes on him. He broke the silence and ran around the room chanting, "TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"
And after about 5 minutes of chanting, "TOGA!" the Starbucks manager came out and stood in front of him.
"Um... sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"FUCK NO YOU AREN'T!!! I NEED MY COFFEE!!! AND YOU MESSED UP MY TOGA PARTY YOU ASS!!"
The manager looked alarmed, "Who the hell are you?"
Tre stumbled, "I am...um...I'M JULIUS CAESER BITCH!!! NOW GIVE ME MY COFFEE!!!!"
"Do you have a receipt?"
Tre pulled it out of his pocket..."Yes I DO!" He gave it to the manager who then rolled his eyes..."Order #456...One frappuccino, One chai tea, one hot chocolate, one strawberries and cream, and one caramel apple cider?"
"Fuck Yes! That's me!!"
The cashier sighed, "Would you like a drink carrier?"
"NO! I don't need it! I'm HERCULES BITCH!"
"It's coffee, not weights...and didn't you say you were Julius Caeser?"
Tre hesitated... "Well then I'm Hercules Ceaser goddammit!!!"
Tre took the drinks and ran off to the car...
