Whatsmyname?, chapter 1
I just sat there on my bed, alone in my dark room, my dark house, my dark world. My mascara was running down my face on to my top. Not that I really care or anything. I could hear my older brother in the next room; fucking the slut he calls his girlfriend. God I hate her. I hate everybody; I'm my worst enemy. "It's a state of mind", my ass it is "The world owes my so fuck you". That's more like it. I needed to get out of this world. My best friend Alex wants me to run away with him, but I don't trust him, but then again what have I got to loose? I packed some clothes and that sort of shit, I then I remembered the only thing that is important to me, my cuddly Eeyore toy, lame hur? I have had it since I was a kid and I cant count the amount of times I cried myself to sleep cuddling it. I'm still a kid, a kid that has been forced to grow up too quickly. I looked down at my watch 2:17am, mum wont be home until 3, and Ryan has other things on his... mind, I made my way to the front door, when I reached it I turned around and looked at my old life for the last time. I wept a single tear for all the people I was about to leave behind. They were my past, but not my future.
I walked alone and cold for what seemed like hours. I thought about what mum would do when she came home to find my bed empty. She wouldn't do anything, I have gone off before and she never cared. I came up to a bus stop and sat down. I looked a mess and felt even worse. I thought about meeting Alex but he was part of my old life, and I was starting fresh.
The bus came, I hoped on, I didn't know where it was going but it was home to me because I walk alone from now on. The bus was empty except for a boy no older than 18 sitting huddled in the corner down the back. He looked like death I could tell he was as miserable as me. What happened next was so out of character for me, I got up and sat next to him.
"We can be miserable together," I said as I sat down
"Why the fuck would you want to do that?" he said as he checked me up and down
"Cues I want to, you dick"
He laughed, he had the softest laugh I have ever heard, it was like he wasn't used to using it. We talked all the way to the end of the line and got off together. His name is Jesus, weird name. He had run away from his mum and step-dad 'Brad'.
We decided to stick together, for safety reasons; the truth was we felt something for each other, something we couldn't express in words. We would just sit at a park bench and hold each other; we were all that mattered to each other. We had nothing but I had the time of my life. We spent two months living like that, Jesus got a job at McDonalds but would spend it on joints with his best friend jimmy, but I didn't care. I loved him so much. I would have died for him. We moved from town to town for about five months, but it started getting to me, he started to get angry, and one time he hit me. I thought nothing of it, but then he started to do it more often, but he would always apologies afterwards, but he came home drunk more often then not and he was killing me on the inside. One day while coming home from my job at the factory I dropped my bag. As I went down to pick it up I heard a soothing voice flood over me,
"Can I help you?"
"No, no, I'm ok, I just dropped my bag, it's nothing" I managed to splutter out,
"My name is Tunny, I have seen you around and would like to know if you want to get a bite to eat with me?"
I looked him up and down, I felt at ease with him. At first I was reluctant to go with him, but a little voice in my head told me why not take a chance?
We went out to the nearest diner we talked for hours, I could talk to him about anything. By the end of the night I didn't care about Jesus, I had fallen for Tunny. He offered to walk me home, but I didn't want to go home, I knew what was there. Jesus drunk, stoned off his head and demanding dinner or sex. Instead I went home with Tunny. We got to the door of his house, I leaned over and kissed is soft, moist lips, after that, and well... you know the rest. I awoke naked in his bed. I didn't feel dirty, I was happy. He woke up
"Are you ok?" he asker me
I burst out into sobs, at first he didn't know what to do, then he put his arms around me and pull me into is powerful chest. We sat there like that for what seemed like years. When I had calmed down he asked me what was wrong. I told him about Jesus and how he treated me. After another good cry, he talked about me leaving him, I didn't want to at first, but I decided it was the right thing to do for my safety.
I left Tunnys house close to midday. I knew Jesus would be home.
"Where have you been, you stupid slut?" he screamed at me
"I can't take this place, I'm leaving it behind," I yelled back
"You wont last ten minutes without me bitch!"
"I can't take this town, I'm leaving you tonight!" I shouted at him.
And I left him that night never to see him again
I walked alone and cold for what seemed like hours. I thought about what mum would do when she came home to find my bed empty. She wouldn't do anything, I have gone off before and she never cared. I came up to a bus stop and sat down. I looked a mess and felt even worse. I thought about meeting Alex but he was part of my old life, and I was starting fresh.
The bus came, I hoped on, I didn't know where it was going but it was home to me because I walk alone from now on. The bus was empty except for a boy no older than 18 sitting huddled in the corner down the back. He looked like death I could tell he was as miserable as me. What happened next was so out of character for me, I got up and sat next to him.
"We can be miserable together," I said as I sat down
"Why the fuck would you want to do that?" he said as he checked me up and down
"Cues I want to, you dick"
He laughed, he had the softest laugh I have ever heard, it was like he wasn't used to using it. We talked all the way to the end of the line and got off together. His name is Jesus, weird name. He had run away from his mum and step-dad 'Brad'.
We decided to stick together, for safety reasons; the truth was we felt something for each other, something we couldn't express in words. We would just sit at a park bench and hold each other; we were all that mattered to each other. We had nothing but I had the time of my life. We spent two months living like that, Jesus got a job at McDonalds but would spend it on joints with his best friend jimmy, but I didn't care. I loved him so much. I would have died for him. We moved from town to town for about five months, but it started getting to me, he started to get angry, and one time he hit me. I thought nothing of it, but then he started to do it more often, but he would always apologies afterwards, but he came home drunk more often then not and he was killing me on the inside. One day while coming home from my job at the factory I dropped my bag. As I went down to pick it up I heard a soothing voice flood over me,
"Can I help you?"
"No, no, I'm ok, I just dropped my bag, it's nothing" I managed to splutter out,
"My name is Tunny, I have seen you around and would like to know if you want to get a bite to eat with me?"
I looked him up and down, I felt at ease with him. At first I was reluctant to go with him, but a little voice in my head told me why not take a chance?
We went out to the nearest diner we talked for hours, I could talk to him about anything. By the end of the night I didn't care about Jesus, I had fallen for Tunny. He offered to walk me home, but I didn't want to go home, I knew what was there. Jesus drunk, stoned off his head and demanding dinner or sex. Instead I went home with Tunny. We got to the door of his house, I leaned over and kissed is soft, moist lips, after that, and well... you know the rest. I awoke naked in his bed. I didn't feel dirty, I was happy. He woke up
"Are you ok?" he asker me
I burst out into sobs, at first he didn't know what to do, then he put his arms around me and pull me into is powerful chest. We sat there like that for what seemed like years. When I had calmed down he asked me what was wrong. I told him about Jesus and how he treated me. After another good cry, he talked about me leaving him, I didn't want to at first, but I decided it was the right thing to do for my safety.
I left Tunnys house close to midday. I knew Jesus would be home.
"Where have you been, you stupid slut?" he screamed at me
"I can't take this place, I'm leaving it behind," I yelled back
"You wont last ten minutes without me bitch!"
"I can't take this town, I'm leaving you tonight!" I shouted at him.
And I left him that night never to see him again
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