Whatsmyname?, chapter 2

I walked out of his clutches. He got down on his knees and begged for me to stay. I looked down in his eyes; all I could see was sorrow. His dad had done this before me and I knew it would kill him if I did the same thing. But it was ether him or me, he was killing me, I loved him but it was all too much for a 19 year old to handle. I picked him up off the floor and held both his hands, looked into his eyes and kissed him for the last time. As I walked out the door. I looked back; he was just standing there, crying. He was so venerable. He looked like a child, but I knew if I took him back that it would happen all over again, and I couldn't live like that anymore. I walked out of his life forever.
I had arranged to meet Tunny at his house, but when I got there he didn't answer the door. I went inside and then I heard it, a girl screaming, it was coming from his room. I raced up the stairs and opened his door to find I pretty red haired lass, naked in his bed, screaming for him to go harder. He came out from under the sheets and saw me. He got up and came towards me,
"Baby it's not what you think"
He lied, he lied to my face. I slapped him and ran out his room, down the stairs out of his house and into the darkness. I kept running until I just couldn't run anymore and fell in a heap on the side of the road. I just sat there in the ditch and cried. Not only had I given up Jesus but the 'kind, caring' dick of a man was a basted. How could I have been so pathetic, stupid and blind? Maybe this life isn't meant for me. Why not end it now? Not like any one will care, I have nothing to live for...