A Different Perspective, chapter 5
I barely was able to sleep that night, my head drifting off to what had happened and what would have happened if Joey hadn't interrupted. I'd never actually thought about the possibility of Billie and I - I mean, sure, Tre talked about nothing but that, but it hadn't actually seemed possible until those few hours ago when I was standing at the doorstep to my apartment. With lack of sleep that night, waking up at seven in the morning to prepare and finish up my painting seemed near to impossible, but I had to do it. After all, it was that damn thing that forced me to come back home anyway, and if I didn't finish it and do my presentation, well let's just say I wouldn't be graduating anytime soon. And as petty as it sounds, I would have lied to Billie.
"You look like shit," were the first words out of Jessica's mouth when she saw me barely awake, painting.
"Thanks. I love you too, Jess," I muttered, rubbing my eyes to try and keep them open. This wasn't working and I had a week's worth of work to make up for, as the time I spent with Billie was the time I was supposed to be painting.
"I'm just telling it like it is. Why haven't you attacked the amps in the fridge yet?" She asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"I honestly didn't know we had any.."
"You wouldn't. You haven't been home in days."
"So?"
"So, I'm just saying you wouldn't notice. Jesus. Chill out, why don't you?" I rolled my eyes and continued to paint, unsure of what I was even doing anymore. What was I doing? Why was I bothering with this when I should have been in bed, asleep. Sleep.. How nice that sounded at the moment. No, I thought, shaking my head. Finish it.. Finish it.. You'll kick yourself in the ass if you don't.
"I'm exhausted."
"You're exhausted? You're not the one who's been up half the night, tossing and friggin turning," I bitterly said, slapping on some random color. I honestly had no fucking clue what I was doing anymore.
"And why, might I ask, were you up?" She raised her eyebrow.
"Ew. No. Stop it."
"What?"
"You know what.. And anyway, I just was. Your turn to chill, man. I'm not like that and you know it."
"Perhaps."
"Perhaps what?"
"I dunno, you act.. different around Billie."
"I'm happier.."
"Yeah. Stop that. It's not you," she teased, and I just rolled my eyes. She was reminding me of Tre and ultimately only pissing me off. I didn't have the patience today. She looked at me and shook her head, taking another sip of coffee. "What's in this coffee? It's tastes how you look."
"Again.. Thanks."
"No problem, that's what I'm here for." And with that, she poured the coffee down the drain and headed back into her room, thankfully leaving me alone. It was sometime around noon when I finally finished the thing and even then, I kept looking at it in disgust. Why hadn't I spent more time on it? Because you were with Billie, my mind reminded me. Why am I such a procrastinator? I added a "finishing coat" to the painting, which was more of a, "I'M NOT WORKING ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT ANYMORE," kind of thing and got dressed, heading down to the Academy and waiting, impatiently, for my turn.
"Hayleigh Noel," someone called, but I wasn't paying much attention. "HAYLEIGH NOEL!" I heard that.
"Huh.. what?" I asked, groggy and dazed from sleep or lack thereof.
"It's your turn, Ms. Noel." Eh. I thought so and honestly, I didn't want to present it because I knew it was going to be shot down, but I had nothing else to present and it was better for me to take a C for effort than an F for laziness and being unprepared. I took off the veil type thing that was covering it, since I figured a hefty bag would bring it down to a D, and revealed my... Crap.
"It's entitled, '2 Hours of Sleep.'" The judges looked at it and looked at me and then looked at it again. After a few discussions, they finally decided to tell me what I had gotten.
"A-," the woman said, nodding. My jaw dropped.
"Wh-what?" I asked, stunned that I had managed to pull off something higher than average.
"It depicts, at least to me, what it feels like to be caught in a world of change," she simply said, which, of course, wasn't anything near what I was going for, but hey - beggars can't be choosers.
"W-wow. Thanks," I said, still in shock as I picked my piece off of the stand and walked out with it. I was so ecstatic about my grade and the fact that I WAS going to pass college that I hadn't noticed a black BMW waiting outside.
"Hayleigh!" I heard someone call my name and pull me out of whatever trance I had gotten myself into this time. "Hayleigh!" I looked over to see Billie in that black BMW with the window rolled down. Confused, I stepped towards the car.
"Billie? What are you doing here?" I asked, still out of it from the night before.
"Picking you up so you don't have to take the bus. You see, I'm nice like that," he said, with a somewhat of a smirk.
"How'd you even know this was my school?" I looked up to see the giant, "ACADEMY OF ART," sign above our heads.
"I called Jessica. How else?"
"I thought you knew some people who knew some people who beat the shit out of other people to get information, but.. that was just a guess." He looked at me like I was headed for the loony bin.
"Are you okay?" Billie asked me, eyebrow raised. I laughed.
"I'm far from it," I muttered and he leaned over, popping open the door. Reluctantly, I stepped inside the car and closed the door after me, but then remembered my painting was on the side walk just sitting there, so I forced myself to get out and get it, repeating the entire process again. When everything was settled and we were actually driving, Billie did what I did not want him to do - he started to question me about last night.
"Soo..." He said, and I looked up from the dashboard, where my eyes had been fixated.
"So?" I repeated, looking up at him. I was bound and determined to try and avoid this subject, but.. I wasn't doing a very good job of it.
"About last night.." I looked down again, pretending to be more interested in the hole in my converse.
"Don't worry about it," I said, still looking at the hole. You could see my purple socks..
"I wanted to apologize for Joey." My eyebrows scrunched together. That wasn't exactly what I thought he was going to say. "And how he fucking needs to be the center of the fucking world every fucking second of every fucking day."
"Kids tend not to like me so much.. I think it's because I have green streaks in my hair.."
"No, he was jealous because he thinks you're going to fucking replace him or some shit like that. He's got issues because of Adrienne and me." I could see that.
"Like I said, you don't need to worry because-"
"Hayleigh-"
"I know last night was-"
"Hayleigh!"
"Awkward, what with us-"
"HAYLEIGH!" I finally looked up from the hole in my converse and at Billie Joe, who was staring at me with his eyes - those eyes that made me melt every time I looked into them. He leaned forward and put his lips against mine, kissing me softly and that enough to send my whole body onto another plane. I felt like I was going to explode as he slowly pulled away and looked at me again, before the light turned from red to green and we sped off again. I couldn't speak until we pulled up to my apartment complex, my eyes still wide.
"Billie?" I asked, shaking a bit from shock. Everything was happening so very fast.
"Yeah?"
"Y-you just kissed me," I said, stating the obvious.
"That I did," He said, a small, cocky smirk on his face. "I didn't get a chance to
last night, so I thought, 'Why the hell not?'" Why the hell not, indeed.. I thought, smiling at him and before I knew what he was doing, he leaned in and kissed me - again. This was insane - this was beyond my comprehension. What the hell was going on?
"I-I sh-should go inside.." I stammered, when he pulled away. My eyes were the widest they've ever been as I opened the door, and stepped outside. Everything felt dreamlike as I staggered around the city, not wanting to go up inside yet. I must have walked for hours, because when I returned, the sun was setting. I was still in a trance, pondering what had happened as I finally walked into my apartment.
"H-Hey.." I said, dropping my keys into the glass bowl on the table. I had,
perhaps, the most obnoxious grin on my face - the kind Jessica had whenever she had a new crush.
"Hey. Are you all right? You look kind of.. scared," she said, raising an eyebrow.
"Huh, what? Oh.. Yeah. I'm, uh fine.." I said, walking into the kitchen to get a water bottle.
"Whatever, you are not. Tellll meeeeee..." She begged, and this only bothered me. Why did she have to know every little thing I did?
"It's nothing," I snapped back, taking a swig of water. She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, Jesus. I only wanted to know.."
"I know you wanted to know. You have to know everything that goes on in my life like you're my fucking parents," I barked, startling her as well as myself. I hadn't meant to say that, but it had just spilled out. I could feel my blood boiling.
"I'm only looking out for you," she said, sounding hurt.
"No, you're trying to control me - like you always try to do."
"Hayleigh-"
"Don't Hayleigh me, you know very damn well that you're controlling and I'm SICK of your shit. All you do fuck up my life, so leave me the fuck alone." Was I really saying all of this? I didn't want to, but it was continuing to poor out of me - everything that I had kept inside. "You're suffocating me."
"Am I?" Jessica's compassionate expression turned cold, almost heartless as she looked down on me with such fire in her eyes that it scared me. "If I'm so controlling, why live here? Get out of my apartment." The words cut me like a dull knife to my skull.
"W-what?" I stammered.
"You fucking heard me. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!" Her voice had raised and I just sort of stood there, looking at her in awe. She wasn't really kicking me out - was she? My eyes were beginning to swell with tears as I said nothing more, walking out of the apartment, down the stairs and out of the complex, onto the streets of San Francisco.. Alone. I pulled out my cell phone, not entirely sure of what I was doing and I dialed Billie's number.
It didn't take Billie very long to come and get me, which is surprising seeing as how the distance between Berkeley and San Francisco was at least a half an hour away, but he made it to me in less than five minutes. He got out of his car and ran over to me, immediately pulling me into an embrace as I explained everything that had happened to me.
"And I was such a bitch and.." I said, taking a deep breath as tears rolled, one after another, onto my cheek.
"It's okay.." Billie said, and I shivered as the breeze started to pick up again. He looked down at me and nodded to his car. I nodded back and we both climbed inside. "Listen to me: Tomorrow, I'm going to drive you back over and you and Jessica are going to work things out, because you've known her for a good chunk of your life. You guys are closer than this and if it takes a night away from each other to realize it, then so be it."
"But, where am I going to stay?" I asked, sniffling.
"With me," he said, wiping away my tears before he stuck the key in the engine and we took off, his hand entwined in mind as we headed back to Berkeley.
"You look like shit," were the first words out of Jessica's mouth when she saw me barely awake, painting.
"Thanks. I love you too, Jess," I muttered, rubbing my eyes to try and keep them open. This wasn't working and I had a week's worth of work to make up for, as the time I spent with Billie was the time I was supposed to be painting.
"I'm just telling it like it is. Why haven't you attacked the amps in the fridge yet?" She asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"I honestly didn't know we had any.."
"You wouldn't. You haven't been home in days."
"So?"
"So, I'm just saying you wouldn't notice. Jesus. Chill out, why don't you?" I rolled my eyes and continued to paint, unsure of what I was even doing anymore. What was I doing? Why was I bothering with this when I should have been in bed, asleep. Sleep.. How nice that sounded at the moment. No, I thought, shaking my head. Finish it.. Finish it.. You'll kick yourself in the ass if you don't.
"I'm exhausted."
"You're exhausted? You're not the one who's been up half the night, tossing and friggin turning," I bitterly said, slapping on some random color. I honestly had no fucking clue what I was doing anymore.
"And why, might I ask, were you up?" She raised her eyebrow.
"Ew. No. Stop it."
"What?"
"You know what.. And anyway, I just was. Your turn to chill, man. I'm not like that and you know it."
"Perhaps."
"Perhaps what?"
"I dunno, you act.. different around Billie."
"I'm happier.."
"Yeah. Stop that. It's not you," she teased, and I just rolled my eyes. She was reminding me of Tre and ultimately only pissing me off. I didn't have the patience today. She looked at me and shook her head, taking another sip of coffee. "What's in this coffee? It's tastes how you look."
"Again.. Thanks."
"No problem, that's what I'm here for." And with that, she poured the coffee down the drain and headed back into her room, thankfully leaving me alone. It was sometime around noon when I finally finished the thing and even then, I kept looking at it in disgust. Why hadn't I spent more time on it? Because you were with Billie, my mind reminded me. Why am I such a procrastinator? I added a "finishing coat" to the painting, which was more of a, "I'M NOT WORKING ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT ANYMORE," kind of thing and got dressed, heading down to the Academy and waiting, impatiently, for my turn.
"Hayleigh Noel," someone called, but I wasn't paying much attention. "HAYLEIGH NOEL!" I heard that.
"Huh.. what?" I asked, groggy and dazed from sleep or lack thereof.
"It's your turn, Ms. Noel." Eh. I thought so and honestly, I didn't want to present it because I knew it was going to be shot down, but I had nothing else to present and it was better for me to take a C for effort than an F for laziness and being unprepared. I took off the veil type thing that was covering it, since I figured a hefty bag would bring it down to a D, and revealed my... Crap.
"It's entitled, '2 Hours of Sleep.'" The judges looked at it and looked at me and then looked at it again. After a few discussions, they finally decided to tell me what I had gotten.
"A-," the woman said, nodding. My jaw dropped.
"Wh-what?" I asked, stunned that I had managed to pull off something higher than average.
"It depicts, at least to me, what it feels like to be caught in a world of change," she simply said, which, of course, wasn't anything near what I was going for, but hey - beggars can't be choosers.
"W-wow. Thanks," I said, still in shock as I picked my piece off of the stand and walked out with it. I was so ecstatic about my grade and the fact that I WAS going to pass college that I hadn't noticed a black BMW waiting outside.
"Hayleigh!" I heard someone call my name and pull me out of whatever trance I had gotten myself into this time. "Hayleigh!" I looked over to see Billie in that black BMW with the window rolled down. Confused, I stepped towards the car.
"Billie? What are you doing here?" I asked, still out of it from the night before.
"Picking you up so you don't have to take the bus. You see, I'm nice like that," he said, with a somewhat of a smirk.
"How'd you even know this was my school?" I looked up to see the giant, "ACADEMY OF ART," sign above our heads.
"I called Jessica. How else?"
"I thought you knew some people who knew some people who beat the shit out of other people to get information, but.. that was just a guess." He looked at me like I was headed for the loony bin.
"Are you okay?" Billie asked me, eyebrow raised. I laughed.
"I'm far from it," I muttered and he leaned over, popping open the door. Reluctantly, I stepped inside the car and closed the door after me, but then remembered my painting was on the side walk just sitting there, so I forced myself to get out and get it, repeating the entire process again. When everything was settled and we were actually driving, Billie did what I did not want him to do - he started to question me about last night.
"Soo..." He said, and I looked up from the dashboard, where my eyes had been fixated.
"So?" I repeated, looking up at him. I was bound and determined to try and avoid this subject, but.. I wasn't doing a very good job of it.
"About last night.." I looked down again, pretending to be more interested in the hole in my converse.
"Don't worry about it," I said, still looking at the hole. You could see my purple socks..
"I wanted to apologize for Joey." My eyebrows scrunched together. That wasn't exactly what I thought he was going to say. "And how he fucking needs to be the center of the fucking world every fucking second of every fucking day."
"Kids tend not to like me so much.. I think it's because I have green streaks in my hair.."
"No, he was jealous because he thinks you're going to fucking replace him or some shit like that. He's got issues because of Adrienne and me." I could see that.
"Like I said, you don't need to worry because-"
"Hayleigh-"
"I know last night was-"
"Hayleigh!"
"Awkward, what with us-"
"HAYLEIGH!" I finally looked up from the hole in my converse and at Billie Joe, who was staring at me with his eyes - those eyes that made me melt every time I looked into them. He leaned forward and put his lips against mine, kissing me softly and that enough to send my whole body onto another plane. I felt like I was going to explode as he slowly pulled away and looked at me again, before the light turned from red to green and we sped off again. I couldn't speak until we pulled up to my apartment complex, my eyes still wide.
"Billie?" I asked, shaking a bit from shock. Everything was happening so very fast.
"Yeah?"
"Y-you just kissed me," I said, stating the obvious.
"That I did," He said, a small, cocky smirk on his face. "I didn't get a chance to
last night, so I thought, 'Why the hell not?'" Why the hell not, indeed.. I thought, smiling at him and before I knew what he was doing, he leaned in and kissed me - again. This was insane - this was beyond my comprehension. What the hell was going on?
"I-I sh-should go inside.." I stammered, when he pulled away. My eyes were the widest they've ever been as I opened the door, and stepped outside. Everything felt dreamlike as I staggered around the city, not wanting to go up inside yet. I must have walked for hours, because when I returned, the sun was setting. I was still in a trance, pondering what had happened as I finally walked into my apartment.
"H-Hey.." I said, dropping my keys into the glass bowl on the table. I had,
perhaps, the most obnoxious grin on my face - the kind Jessica had whenever she had a new crush.
"Hey. Are you all right? You look kind of.. scared," she said, raising an eyebrow.
"Huh, what? Oh.. Yeah. I'm, uh fine.." I said, walking into the kitchen to get a water bottle.
"Whatever, you are not. Tellll meeeeee..." She begged, and this only bothered me. Why did she have to know every little thing I did?
"It's nothing," I snapped back, taking a swig of water. She raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, Jesus. I only wanted to know.."
"I know you wanted to know. You have to know everything that goes on in my life like you're my fucking parents," I barked, startling her as well as myself. I hadn't meant to say that, but it had just spilled out. I could feel my blood boiling.
"I'm only looking out for you," she said, sounding hurt.
"No, you're trying to control me - like you always try to do."
"Hayleigh-"
"Don't Hayleigh me, you know very damn well that you're controlling and I'm SICK of your shit. All you do fuck up my life, so leave me the fuck alone." Was I really saying all of this? I didn't want to, but it was continuing to poor out of me - everything that I had kept inside. "You're suffocating me."
"Am I?" Jessica's compassionate expression turned cold, almost heartless as she looked down on me with such fire in her eyes that it scared me. "If I'm so controlling, why live here? Get out of my apartment." The words cut me like a dull knife to my skull.
"W-what?" I stammered.
"You fucking heard me. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!" Her voice had raised and I just sort of stood there, looking at her in awe. She wasn't really kicking me out - was she? My eyes were beginning to swell with tears as I said nothing more, walking out of the apartment, down the stairs and out of the complex, onto the streets of San Francisco.. Alone. I pulled out my cell phone, not entirely sure of what I was doing and I dialed Billie's number.
It didn't take Billie very long to come and get me, which is surprising seeing as how the distance between Berkeley and San Francisco was at least a half an hour away, but he made it to me in less than five minutes. He got out of his car and ran over to me, immediately pulling me into an embrace as I explained everything that had happened to me.
"And I was such a bitch and.." I said, taking a deep breath as tears rolled, one after another, onto my cheek.
"It's okay.." Billie said, and I shivered as the breeze started to pick up again. He looked down at me and nodded to his car. I nodded back and we both climbed inside. "Listen to me: Tomorrow, I'm going to drive you back over and you and Jessica are going to work things out, because you've known her for a good chunk of your life. You guys are closer than this and if it takes a night away from each other to realize it, then so be it."
"But, where am I going to stay?" I asked, sniffling.
"With me," he said, wiping away my tears before he stuck the key in the engine and we took off, his hand entwined in mind as we headed back to Berkeley.
