Stupid Billie, chapter 9
Meanwhile...
"Caitlin, what's 2x8?" Billie whined.
"How the hell can you not know that?" Caitlin gave an exasperated sigh. "16."
"Oh... Tre fucked a girl that was 16 in Paris once."
"That pervert!" Sami shouted.
"Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate." Bam snapped.
Then the teacher made an unpleasant announcement. "Pop quiz!"
"WHAT?!" Billie cried.
"The stupid goth can't pass." Ryan said snidely (Note: Ryan is a short dumbass who lives nearby Caitlin).
"What did you call me?!" Billie stood up, all five six of him.
"You did NOT just call Billie Joe Armstrong that." Sami said, also standing up. All five five of her.
"Uh... Never mind... "
Mrs. Marcus passed out the quiz.
"Psst... Caitlin, what's the answer to number one?" Billie whispered loudly.
"Ohio." She said seriously.
"Okay." He wrote it down. "Wait a minute... "
"Pencils down! Pass them forward!"
"What? I only go to number one!"
"There were only five questions Mr. Armstrong."
"It's Billie Joe." Caitlin said. "Mr. Armstrong makes me realize how old he really is.
Meanwhile...
Thea and Tre escaped, but then... They ran into a wall.
"Oh dammit!" Thea yelled. "Not again!"
"I messed up my hair! I have to fix it!" Tre ran into the bathroom.
"Tre don't leave me!" The door slammed in her face. "Damn him... "
Just then, Mikayla, a breastless, hipless bitch (no offense to any other girls named Mikayla) walked by and saw Thea leaning against the wall next to the boy's bathroom. She sneered, but Thea just glanced at her and flipped her the bird.
"Uh... Bitch... " Thea muttered as Tre walked out.
"I'm not a bitch!" Tre said.
"I wasn't talking to you!" She turned down the hall. "Come on, we have Spanish."
Meanwhile...
Veronica and Mike were watching a movie in science. Bored, Veronica wrote a short note to Mike. 'I'm bored, let's talk. ' She handed it to him.
He read it, wrote something, and handed it back. 'No. You're supposed to watch the movie. ' Irked, she wrote back, 'You're not my Dad! (I love my Daddy! )
Mike rolled his eyes and tried to watch the movie, but she wasn't about to let that happen. She started throwing paper balls at him. He turned around and at that precise moment, Veronica 'happened' to throw one right at his face.
"What the fuck?"
Ann Marie turned around. "Ohh... Badmouth!"
Meanwhile...
Caitlin and Sami were still in math, along with Bam and Billie.
"I only got to number one, and I'm already in the level for stupid people!" Billie moaned.
"Sami and Caitlin glared at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Billie?" Sami asked through gritted teeth.
"You know Billie, I'd be afraid." Caitlin said. "She's only an inch shorter than you."
Billie backed into a corner as Sami came at him with a pencil. "I'm sorry!" He cried as he fell to his knees. "Forgive me."
The whole class was staring. "What did you say to get the goth mad?" (Note: Labels suck, and Sami is so NOT goth to begin with... ) Ryan called.
Before Sam could slap him, Bam saved her the trouble. He whacked him over the head. "Shut up, shrimp."
"What's it to you bastard?" Ryan replied angrily as he rubbed his head.
"We know bastard is just another word for bitch, you gaywad." Caitlin said. "Be a man and say what you mean."
"The flagpole. 2 o'clock. You and me!" Bam hissed at Ryan.
"20 bucks on Bam." Sami whispered to Billie.
Then... The bell rang.
Sami took Bam to her locker. "We have art. Mr. D. Probably won't like you. Haha."
Bam shrugged and followed her to the other side of the hall where they found Veronica and Mike, who also had art.
But before that...
"You take Spanish?" Tre asked Thea. "Wow, you're smart!"
"No I'm not. All four of us take it." Thea retorted.
"Why can't you just accept my compliments?"
"Because you're a 32 year old in middle school."
He shrugged. "It was Billie's fault, not mine."
That got a smile out of Thea. "Stupid Billie... "
They got to class and were greeted by a curious Ms. Hurley. "Señor Torres said there had been a full-grown man in his class this morning. I was hoping I'd get in on the excitement. And I've learned he is NOT your father."
Thea laughed. "He's not. Meet Mr. Tre Cool, my nickname sake."
"Okay. Well, Mr. Cool needs a Spanish name."
"Raoul." Thea said quickly.
Tre glanced at her.
"I've been trying to think of one all day." She flashed him a big smile. "Hola Raoul. Me llamo Teresa."
"Ahhh, hola Teresa. Me llamo Raoul. Yo tengo treinta y dos años. Me gusta musica mucho. ¿Y tu?"
"¿Tu hablas español? Ahh, I mean, you speak Spanish?"
"Yes. Fluently. I took classes at some point... "
"Cool! This is my favorite subject.... Most of the time."
"Good, because it's easy."
"You're odd... " She smiled.
"I still say you're cute when you smile."
She laughed and hit him. "Pervert."
"Caitlin, what's 2x8?" Billie whined.
"How the hell can you not know that?" Caitlin gave an exasperated sigh. "16."
"Oh... Tre fucked a girl that was 16 in Paris once."
"That pervert!" Sami shouted.
"Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate." Bam snapped.
Then the teacher made an unpleasant announcement. "Pop quiz!"
"WHAT?!" Billie cried.
"The stupid goth can't pass." Ryan said snidely (Note: Ryan is a short dumbass who lives nearby Caitlin).
"What did you call me?!" Billie stood up, all five six of him.
"You did NOT just call Billie Joe Armstrong that." Sami said, also standing up. All five five of her.
"Uh... Never mind... "
Mrs. Marcus passed out the quiz.
"Psst... Caitlin, what's the answer to number one?" Billie whispered loudly.
"Ohio." She said seriously.
"Okay." He wrote it down. "Wait a minute... "
"Pencils down! Pass them forward!"
"What? I only go to number one!"
"There were only five questions Mr. Armstrong."
"It's Billie Joe." Caitlin said. "Mr. Armstrong makes me realize how old he really is.
Meanwhile...
Thea and Tre escaped, but then... They ran into a wall.
"Oh dammit!" Thea yelled. "Not again!"
"I messed up my hair! I have to fix it!" Tre ran into the bathroom.
"Tre don't leave me!" The door slammed in her face. "Damn him... "
Just then, Mikayla, a breastless, hipless bitch (no offense to any other girls named Mikayla) walked by and saw Thea leaning against the wall next to the boy's bathroom. She sneered, but Thea just glanced at her and flipped her the bird.
"Uh... Bitch... " Thea muttered as Tre walked out.
"I'm not a bitch!" Tre said.
"I wasn't talking to you!" She turned down the hall. "Come on, we have Spanish."
Meanwhile...
Veronica and Mike were watching a movie in science. Bored, Veronica wrote a short note to Mike. 'I'm bored, let's talk. ' She handed it to him.
He read it, wrote something, and handed it back. 'No. You're supposed to watch the movie. ' Irked, she wrote back, 'You're not my Dad! (I love my Daddy! )
Mike rolled his eyes and tried to watch the movie, but she wasn't about to let that happen. She started throwing paper balls at him. He turned around and at that precise moment, Veronica 'happened' to throw one right at his face.
"What the fuck?"
Ann Marie turned around. "Ohh... Badmouth!"
Meanwhile...
Caitlin and Sami were still in math, along with Bam and Billie.
"I only got to number one, and I'm already in the level for stupid people!" Billie moaned.
"Sami and Caitlin glared at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Billie?" Sami asked through gritted teeth.
"You know Billie, I'd be afraid." Caitlin said. "She's only an inch shorter than you."
Billie backed into a corner as Sami came at him with a pencil. "I'm sorry!" He cried as he fell to his knees. "Forgive me."
The whole class was staring. "What did you say to get the goth mad?" (Note: Labels suck, and Sami is so NOT goth to begin with... ) Ryan called.
Before Sam could slap him, Bam saved her the trouble. He whacked him over the head. "Shut up, shrimp."
"What's it to you bastard?" Ryan replied angrily as he rubbed his head.
"We know bastard is just another word for bitch, you gaywad." Caitlin said. "Be a man and say what you mean."
"The flagpole. 2 o'clock. You and me!" Bam hissed at Ryan.
"20 bucks on Bam." Sami whispered to Billie.
Then... The bell rang.
Sami took Bam to her locker. "We have art. Mr. D. Probably won't like you. Haha."
Bam shrugged and followed her to the other side of the hall where they found Veronica and Mike, who also had art.
But before that...
"You take Spanish?" Tre asked Thea. "Wow, you're smart!"
"No I'm not. All four of us take it." Thea retorted.
"Why can't you just accept my compliments?"
"Because you're a 32 year old in middle school."
He shrugged. "It was Billie's fault, not mine."
That got a smile out of Thea. "Stupid Billie... "
They got to class and were greeted by a curious Ms. Hurley. "Señor Torres said there had been a full-grown man in his class this morning. I was hoping I'd get in on the excitement. And I've learned he is NOT your father."
Thea laughed. "He's not. Meet Mr. Tre Cool, my nickname sake."
"Okay. Well, Mr. Cool needs a Spanish name."
"Raoul." Thea said quickly.
Tre glanced at her.
"I've been trying to think of one all day." She flashed him a big smile. "Hola Raoul. Me llamo Teresa."
"Ahhh, hola Teresa. Me llamo Raoul. Yo tengo treinta y dos años. Me gusta musica mucho. ¿Y tu?"
"¿Tu hablas español? Ahh, I mean, you speak Spanish?"
"Yes. Fluently. I took classes at some point... "
"Cool! This is my favorite subject.... Most of the time."
"Good, because it's easy."
"You're odd... " She smiled.
"I still say you're cute when you smile."
She laughed and hit him. "Pervert."
