Tears Fade Away, but Scars Stay the Same, chapter 6
I quickly pulled my hands away and stood straight up and I started panicking
"Oh my God! My head! It's bleeding!" I screeched. Billie was staring at it, Mike was wide eyed and Adrienne was stunned. That mast've done that, I didn't know if it was just bleeding or if he cracked my head. I felt more pain in my side and dropped to my knees. My breathing was coming in short gasps and I was panicking. I heard Mike yelling for help and Adrienne was following him in a similar manner, both of them running up and down the sidewalk.
Billie kneeled down in front of me
"Esther...Esther!" He said, I was crying harder
"What's wrong with me!?" I yelled
"Shh...just focus on me..it'll be okay. I'll be with you, we won't leave you."
"I'm scared" He helped me up, my vision was going hey-wire. I saw Mike run over. Th elast thing I heard was
"Holy shit!"
And then my world went black.
When I woke up I looked around the room, I was in my room, so was everyone else.
Mike was spawled out in a chair facing me, Billie was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, and Adrienne was asleep on my floor, looking as if she was once leaning agianst the wall and slid down because she fell asleep. They were all asleep.
I sat up and my head hurt, I tried to scratch it, but there was a huge bandage there.
"You're awake" My aunt said while walking to Mike's room
"Yeah..what happened?"
"It's a long story, I'll tell you later, just rest" She said
"Okay..." I layed back down.
After a few minutes I saw Billie Joe stur.
"Hey" I said
"Holy shit, thank God your okay!" He jumped up and hugged me. Mike and Adrienne woke up.
"What happened?" I asked after everyone asked how I was and that they were happy I was fine
"Okay, remember the fight?" Adrienne asked. I nodded
"Okay, well, he got you good in the head, you got a mild concusion, and you've been asleep since Friday, the day it happened." Mike said
"What day is it?" I asked
"Monday" Adrienne said
"How long have you all been here?"
"Since you came home Sunday morning" Billie said
"Huh?"
Mike explained
"After the fight and you blacking out, we took you to the hospital, you were exhausted and had the concussion, so you were pretty delirious while you were in there, said a lot." Mike said
"What!?"
"Not the thing your thinking, that was kept safe" He said, I smiled. My side still hurt
"What happened to my side and what all did I say?"
"Your rib is broken and you wouldn't eat, and you thought Jack was there, and you said how you ask--whoops..." Billie said
"Asked for what?" There was silence. Adrienne looked at Mike, who looked at Billie, who looked at me.
"You um...you asked for your parents...alot..then you started crying because they wouldn't come. Your aunt tried to help you...but you wouldn't listen. You kept yelling for them and screaming and asking why they weren't answering you." Adrienne said after Mike told her to tell me.
"Oh." Was all I said. I could read their minds, they were trying to think of something to say.
"It's okay...you don't have to say anything" I said quietly, I left the room and walked outside and sat on the steps. I was wearing a blue shirt and black pajama bottoms. I grabbed Mike's jacket as I walked out of the door.
I sat there for a long time, thinking about why my dad actually wanted to die. I knew that, he hated his life. And he always said my mom would go with him. But why, why that night? Why not when I was younger and wouldn't know them? Why not later in life so I could accept it easier? Why not some other kid? Why did I have to see it!? I remembered that night, I had watched them die, I watched the blood run on the floor. I walked in that blood. I ran to get help. Had that been a sign that I had needed to grow up and take responsibility? Was it a sign for a better life? I had no idea. I just picturing me as a 10 year old kid again, and when I was younger, around 4 and 5, when my family actually got along. I missed that.
**Back in Esther's room, Narroator's POV**
"I think we said too much" Billie said
"Yeah, but she wanted to know" Adrienne said
"She had a right to and she asked for it" Mike said while Adrienne sat on the bed.
"Can you just imagine though, being in her position? I mean, she watched her parents die, she watched her dad commit suicide. Holy shit..." Adrienne said
"I'm sorta lucky, I was only 2 weeks old when I came here, no time to really get to know my mom." Mike said.
"No one's lucky anymore." Billie said. He walked out of the room to get Esther.
**Outside, Esther's POV**
Billie opened the door. I turned around to see him and got up. But Billie grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me back down. I leaned into him and explained what I had been thinking about.
"Maybe we shouldn't have told you...it's my fault, I said too much"
"No, it wasn't anyone's fault, that's the way things work in life. It's not fair." I said back to try and make him feel better. I looked at a sunset that was just starting through the last of my tears.
"Let's go inside" Billie said. I followed him and fell back asleep as soon as I hit my bed.
The next few days were boring as fuck. It was Thursday and I has a fever of 100 degrees. I was laying there in bed with 2 blankets, Myla had just left, leaving water on the table by my bed. I wasn't gonna get it. The cold air would come in.
I turned over on my right side and stared at the wall. I wanted sleep so badly, I was so tired, but I just couldn't fall asleep. My eyes kept flickering open and shut, I was annoyed with myself. I heard a faint knock at my door
"Come in..."
"Hey" It was Billie Joe
"Hey Billie" I said, still looking at the wall
"What;s up, still sick?"
"Nothing really, and no I'm all better, I just like laying under 2 blankets and puking." I said sarcastically. Billie laughed a little
"You'll get better soon, it's boring without you" He was standing behind me, rubbing my back now.
"I've been having fun, listening to Mike play guitar and then scream and play air guitar to the Clash and The Pistols is pretty funny." I said quietly. His touch was soothing, even through all the cotton. He laughed
"Seen it?"
"No, sadly"
"Keep it that way, it's scary" Billie joked. I sighed and he pulled my hair out of my face.
"So, when do you think you'll be better?" He asked, I was just focusing on his hands rubbing my back
"Soon, the fever shit is a normal reaction to all this. Have you seen Jack?"
"Yeah, you fucked him up real good."
"I want him hurt...like me..." I said with my eyes shut in a bitter tone
"How?"
"Kill him" I saw his smile he had. After a few more seconds I said
"I wanna sleep..but I can't"
"What do you think I've been trying to do? Mike told me you couldn't sleep. Your thinking too much" He said quietly. I kept quiet as he continued trying to put me to sleep, the pressure on my back felt nice and he was sitting on the edge of my bed now. I was 2/3 of the way into a sleep when I felt him kiss my head and he walked out of the door.
"Oh my God! My head! It's bleeding!" I screeched. Billie was staring at it, Mike was wide eyed and Adrienne was stunned. That mast've done that, I didn't know if it was just bleeding or if he cracked my head. I felt more pain in my side and dropped to my knees. My breathing was coming in short gasps and I was panicking. I heard Mike yelling for help and Adrienne was following him in a similar manner, both of them running up and down the sidewalk.
Billie kneeled down in front of me
"Esther...Esther!" He said, I was crying harder
"What's wrong with me!?" I yelled
"Shh...just focus on me..it'll be okay. I'll be with you, we won't leave you."
"I'm scared" He helped me up, my vision was going hey-wire. I saw Mike run over. Th elast thing I heard was
"Holy shit!"
And then my world went black.
When I woke up I looked around the room, I was in my room, so was everyone else.
Mike was spawled out in a chair facing me, Billie was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, and Adrienne was asleep on my floor, looking as if she was once leaning agianst the wall and slid down because she fell asleep. They were all asleep.
I sat up and my head hurt, I tried to scratch it, but there was a huge bandage there.
"You're awake" My aunt said while walking to Mike's room
"Yeah..what happened?"
"It's a long story, I'll tell you later, just rest" She said
"Okay..." I layed back down.
After a few minutes I saw Billie Joe stur.
"Hey" I said
"Holy shit, thank God your okay!" He jumped up and hugged me. Mike and Adrienne woke up.
"What happened?" I asked after everyone asked how I was and that they were happy I was fine
"Okay, remember the fight?" Adrienne asked. I nodded
"Okay, well, he got you good in the head, you got a mild concusion, and you've been asleep since Friday, the day it happened." Mike said
"What day is it?" I asked
"Monday" Adrienne said
"How long have you all been here?"
"Since you came home Sunday morning" Billie said
"Huh?"
Mike explained
"After the fight and you blacking out, we took you to the hospital, you were exhausted and had the concussion, so you were pretty delirious while you were in there, said a lot." Mike said
"What!?"
"Not the thing your thinking, that was kept safe" He said, I smiled. My side still hurt
"What happened to my side and what all did I say?"
"Your rib is broken and you wouldn't eat, and you thought Jack was there, and you said how you ask--whoops..." Billie said
"Asked for what?" There was silence. Adrienne looked at Mike, who looked at Billie, who looked at me.
"You um...you asked for your parents...alot..then you started crying because they wouldn't come. Your aunt tried to help you...but you wouldn't listen. You kept yelling for them and screaming and asking why they weren't answering you." Adrienne said after Mike told her to tell me.
"Oh." Was all I said. I could read their minds, they were trying to think of something to say.
"It's okay...you don't have to say anything" I said quietly, I left the room and walked outside and sat on the steps. I was wearing a blue shirt and black pajama bottoms. I grabbed Mike's jacket as I walked out of the door.
I sat there for a long time, thinking about why my dad actually wanted to die. I knew that, he hated his life. And he always said my mom would go with him. But why, why that night? Why not when I was younger and wouldn't know them? Why not later in life so I could accept it easier? Why not some other kid? Why did I have to see it!? I remembered that night, I had watched them die, I watched the blood run on the floor. I walked in that blood. I ran to get help. Had that been a sign that I had needed to grow up and take responsibility? Was it a sign for a better life? I had no idea. I just picturing me as a 10 year old kid again, and when I was younger, around 4 and 5, when my family actually got along. I missed that.
**Back in Esther's room, Narroator's POV**
"I think we said too much" Billie said
"Yeah, but she wanted to know" Adrienne said
"She had a right to and she asked for it" Mike said while Adrienne sat on the bed.
"Can you just imagine though, being in her position? I mean, she watched her parents die, she watched her dad commit suicide. Holy shit..." Adrienne said
"I'm sorta lucky, I was only 2 weeks old when I came here, no time to really get to know my mom." Mike said.
"No one's lucky anymore." Billie said. He walked out of the room to get Esther.
**Outside, Esther's POV**
Billie opened the door. I turned around to see him and got up. But Billie grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me back down. I leaned into him and explained what I had been thinking about.
"Maybe we shouldn't have told you...it's my fault, I said too much"
"No, it wasn't anyone's fault, that's the way things work in life. It's not fair." I said back to try and make him feel better. I looked at a sunset that was just starting through the last of my tears.
"Let's go inside" Billie said. I followed him and fell back asleep as soon as I hit my bed.
The next few days were boring as fuck. It was Thursday and I has a fever of 100 degrees. I was laying there in bed with 2 blankets, Myla had just left, leaving water on the table by my bed. I wasn't gonna get it. The cold air would come in.
I turned over on my right side and stared at the wall. I wanted sleep so badly, I was so tired, but I just couldn't fall asleep. My eyes kept flickering open and shut, I was annoyed with myself. I heard a faint knock at my door
"Come in..."
"Hey" It was Billie Joe
"Hey Billie" I said, still looking at the wall
"What;s up, still sick?"
"Nothing really, and no I'm all better, I just like laying under 2 blankets and puking." I said sarcastically. Billie laughed a little
"You'll get better soon, it's boring without you" He was standing behind me, rubbing my back now.
"I've been having fun, listening to Mike play guitar and then scream and play air guitar to the Clash and The Pistols is pretty funny." I said quietly. His touch was soothing, even through all the cotton. He laughed
"Seen it?"
"No, sadly"
"Keep it that way, it's scary" Billie joked. I sighed and he pulled my hair out of my face.
"So, when do you think you'll be better?" He asked, I was just focusing on his hands rubbing my back
"Soon, the fever shit is a normal reaction to all this. Have you seen Jack?"
"Yeah, you fucked him up real good."
"I want him hurt...like me..." I said with my eyes shut in a bitter tone
"How?"
"Kill him" I saw his smile he had. After a few more seconds I said
"I wanna sleep..but I can't"
"What do you think I've been trying to do? Mike told me you couldn't sleep. Your thinking too much" He said quietly. I kept quiet as he continued trying to put me to sleep, the pressure on my back felt nice and he was sitting on the edge of my bed now. I was 2/3 of the way into a sleep when I felt him kiss my head and he walked out of the door.
