Regrets Of A Teenage Life (Sequel To Time Of My Life), chapter 15
I awoke in the morning and Adrienne was asleep with her head on my chest. I lay there taking in the silence that filled the still darkened room. I looked at the clock. 4:30am. I had not had a good sleep tossing and turning thinking about how I had nearly cheated on my wife and how even now I still wanted to. I started slowly drifting off back to sleep. Just moments later it felt like I was being prodded awake.
"Billie Joe?" asked Adie her face inches from mine.
"Mhm?" I mumbled
"It's 10:30am we better get up" she said yawning
"Five minutes" I said burying my head in her pillow.
"C'mon Billie" she said jumping on the bed
"Ok ok I'm up" I mumbled into her pillow. I stretched and got up. I pulled my shirt on and went downstairs to a cup of coffee and Adrienne making pancakes.
"Mmm thanks" I said as I sniffed the air.
"No problem how did you sleep?" she asked smiling.
"Meh I have had better sleeps I felt uncomfortable after out little 'incident'" I told her
"Aww Billie I'm sorry but I don't want you to be a cheater" she said coming over and giving me a hug.
"I know I just don't know it felt so right" I confessed.
"You never know what the future will bring" she said. And that was the last word that was said all through breakfast.
"Come on it's nearly lunch I will drive you home Rebecca will be worrying" she said placing her hand in mine and looking at me with sorrowful eyes as if she didn't want me to leave but knew I had to. She grabbed her car keys and got in the car. It was a silent drive to my house. She gave me a hug goodbye and said to call her. I promised I would and left the car and stepped inside my house.
"Who's she?" snapped Rebecca.
"Adrienne." I said simply
"You have been with her all night haven't you?" she snarled
"So what if I have get off of my case" I told her.
"It's not like I did anything with her all that happened was that I stopped on her couch coz she lived in the town I was stuck in that's all" I lied
"Yeah sure I bet you did!" she yelled
"I did I swear" I said crossing my heart.
"I BET YOU DID YOU ARE LYING I CAN TELL BILLIE JOE I HVE LIVED WITH YOU FOR ABOUT 17 YEARS!" she yelled louder
"DON'T FUCKING YELL AT ME LIKE THAT!" I spat at her.
"Get out go with lover girl go on ring her back to come get you coz I don't fucking wanna see your face anymore!" she yelled pointing at the door.
"Fine I fucking will and maybe this time I WILL fucking sleep with her because you know what? This fucking marriage is THROUGH! WE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE!" I yelled at her. Her face suddenly fell.
"What scared are we?" I asked
"Just get out" she said so I did. I rang Adie and she picked me up.
"What's up?" she asked
"I am getting a divorce" I told her
"What?" she asked shocked
"She thought I slept with you last night and I told her the truth and said I didn't and she didn't believe me so I lost it and told her we were getting divorced" I explained
"Wow" she said exasperated.
"And now I will feel no guilt in doing this" I said as I pulled her in for a sweet tender kiss. She smiled as she pulled away and turned on the ignition and drove off to her house.
We spent the day lazing on the couch. We started kissing and I was really getting into it without feeling the huge weight in the pit of my stomach that was guilt when my cell phone rang. It was "her".
"What?" I asked.
"Dad it's me" came Matt's voice
"Oh sorry son what's up?" I asked changing my tone of voice.
"It's mom. What the fuck did you do to her she has completely broke down almost went crazy" said Matt
"Look Matt it will be hard but me and your mother are getting a divorce" I told him. He gasped.
"What? You can't what will I do? I need you dad me and Emma your grandchild!" he pleaded. I never thought about that. My first grandchild. Maybe I should talk to her just to make sure we stay friends for Matt and Jake and Emma and our new grandchild's sake?
"I will come over and speak to your mother" I told him
"She is completely pissed mind" he warned me
"It's ok I will see you soon love you" I told him and the line went dead.
"Adie I am sorry but it won't work out yet I need time" I told her
"It is ok I will drive you home to see your son come on. You can still stay here if you want" she said
"Maybe it's best I stay with Tre or Mike" I told her
"Oh ok I understand" she said.
We drove back in silence. I waved as she pulled away and she smiled. That warm radiant smile I loved yet I hardly knew her. I stepped in to find chaos. Jake was crying and Matt was trying to get a drunk Rebecca to sit down.
"Fuck off" she said pushing him away.
"Rebecca" I said. She looked up.
"Billie Joe!" she smiled relieved to see me but why I will never know. This was the woman that told me to go off with "lover girl".
"Look go to bed and sleep the drink off we will talk when you wake" I told her carrying her up to her bed. I loved this woman really I had just had a sickening for something dangerous and now I thought about I didn't want Adie yeah I did as a friend. A friend and nothing more. I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with Rebecca and nothing about that was gonna change from my perspective but how was she going to be when she sobered up? I hope she is ok because I realise now it was all a huge mistake. You never truly realise what you have till it's gone. But then again it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't. I guess I had tried something and regretted it but now I think I would have regretted not trying it as well. We make bad decisions in our lives that can always be repaired. I will repair this one it just may take time. I kissed Rebecca's forehead and left the room pondering on all those thoughts.
"Billie Joe?" asked Adie her face inches from mine.
"Mhm?" I mumbled
"It's 10:30am we better get up" she said yawning
"Five minutes" I said burying my head in her pillow.
"C'mon Billie" she said jumping on the bed
"Ok ok I'm up" I mumbled into her pillow. I stretched and got up. I pulled my shirt on and went downstairs to a cup of coffee and Adrienne making pancakes.
"Mmm thanks" I said as I sniffed the air.
"No problem how did you sleep?" she asked smiling.
"Meh I have had better sleeps I felt uncomfortable after out little 'incident'" I told her
"Aww Billie I'm sorry but I don't want you to be a cheater" she said coming over and giving me a hug.
"I know I just don't know it felt so right" I confessed.
"You never know what the future will bring" she said. And that was the last word that was said all through breakfast.
"Come on it's nearly lunch I will drive you home Rebecca will be worrying" she said placing her hand in mine and looking at me with sorrowful eyes as if she didn't want me to leave but knew I had to. She grabbed her car keys and got in the car. It was a silent drive to my house. She gave me a hug goodbye and said to call her. I promised I would and left the car and stepped inside my house.
"Who's she?" snapped Rebecca.
"Adrienne." I said simply
"You have been with her all night haven't you?" she snarled
"So what if I have get off of my case" I told her.
"It's not like I did anything with her all that happened was that I stopped on her couch coz she lived in the town I was stuck in that's all" I lied
"Yeah sure I bet you did!" she yelled
"I did I swear" I said crossing my heart.
"I BET YOU DID YOU ARE LYING I CAN TELL BILLIE JOE I HVE LIVED WITH YOU FOR ABOUT 17 YEARS!" she yelled louder
"DON'T FUCKING YELL AT ME LIKE THAT!" I spat at her.
"Get out go with lover girl go on ring her back to come get you coz I don't fucking wanna see your face anymore!" she yelled pointing at the door.
"Fine I fucking will and maybe this time I WILL fucking sleep with her because you know what? This fucking marriage is THROUGH! WE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE!" I yelled at her. Her face suddenly fell.
"What scared are we?" I asked
"Just get out" she said so I did. I rang Adie and she picked me up.
"What's up?" she asked
"I am getting a divorce" I told her
"What?" she asked shocked
"She thought I slept with you last night and I told her the truth and said I didn't and she didn't believe me so I lost it and told her we were getting divorced" I explained
"Wow" she said exasperated.
"And now I will feel no guilt in doing this" I said as I pulled her in for a sweet tender kiss. She smiled as she pulled away and turned on the ignition and drove off to her house.
We spent the day lazing on the couch. We started kissing and I was really getting into it without feeling the huge weight in the pit of my stomach that was guilt when my cell phone rang. It was "her".
"What?" I asked.
"Dad it's me" came Matt's voice
"Oh sorry son what's up?" I asked changing my tone of voice.
"It's mom. What the fuck did you do to her she has completely broke down almost went crazy" said Matt
"Look Matt it will be hard but me and your mother are getting a divorce" I told him. He gasped.
"What? You can't what will I do? I need you dad me and Emma your grandchild!" he pleaded. I never thought about that. My first grandchild. Maybe I should talk to her just to make sure we stay friends for Matt and Jake and Emma and our new grandchild's sake?
"I will come over and speak to your mother" I told him
"She is completely pissed mind" he warned me
"It's ok I will see you soon love you" I told him and the line went dead.
"Adie I am sorry but it won't work out yet I need time" I told her
"It is ok I will drive you home to see your son come on. You can still stay here if you want" she said
"Maybe it's best I stay with Tre or Mike" I told her
"Oh ok I understand" she said.
We drove back in silence. I waved as she pulled away and she smiled. That warm radiant smile I loved yet I hardly knew her. I stepped in to find chaos. Jake was crying and Matt was trying to get a drunk Rebecca to sit down.
"Fuck off" she said pushing him away.
"Rebecca" I said. She looked up.
"Billie Joe!" she smiled relieved to see me but why I will never know. This was the woman that told me to go off with "lover girl".
"Look go to bed and sleep the drink off we will talk when you wake" I told her carrying her up to her bed. I loved this woman really I had just had a sickening for something dangerous and now I thought about I didn't want Adie yeah I did as a friend. A friend and nothing more. I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with Rebecca and nothing about that was gonna change from my perspective but how was she going to be when she sobered up? I hope she is ok because I realise now it was all a huge mistake. You never truly realise what you have till it's gone. But then again it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't. I guess I had tried something and regretted it but now I think I would have regretted not trying it as well. We make bad decisions in our lives that can always be repaired. I will repair this one it just may take time. I kissed Rebecca's forehead and left the room pondering on all those thoughts.
