Where Do Broken Hearts Go?, chapter 4
I think Billie was starting to get used to having me around, and, dare I say...actually enjoying it. Despite the fact that I followed him around like a lost puppy, it seemed he enjoyed my company. I know I enjoyed his. I even met his kids Joey and Jake. Or rather was in the presence of them, seeing as they couldn't see me, but I still thought it was a nice gesture. I really did care about him. I hadn't thought it was possible to care about someone so much that you had only really known for a few weeks. But I guess thats what angels did right? Cared deeply for their missions? That's what I told myself anyways. My favorite part of being with Billie (besides being with Billie) was that I got to go and watch them play in the recording studio. Billie was a fabulous singer and guitarist, Mike was definitely an awesome bassist, and Tre was my newfound idol. When I watched him play I missed the old days when I used to play, and made a mental note that if Tre ever was able to see me, I'd like to snag a few lessons off of him. It was pure bliss, and, everday after practice Billie would stop at Dairy Queen and buy me a dream pie sundae and pick up a bottle of root beer for us to share at his house. Sometimes he went out on his own with Mike and Tre, but usually he would hang out with me and we'd just talk and joke. We were sitting there drinking root beer and eating dream pie sundaes one night in silence. Which was odd since we generally didn't drink root beer, or any kind of beer for that matter, in silence.
"You were so young." he blurted out of nowhere. "You didn't even have a chance at life."
"I know." I said. I felt bad because he sounded so distraught, like it really bothered him, which I could understand because for the longest time It really bothered me. By now though I was used to it. "But hey....if I didn't die then I wouldn't be here with you right now."
"Yea." he said. "What did you want to be?" he asked studying me.
"I wanted to be either a writer or a photographer." I replied, wishing that we could change the subject.
"You wanted to go to art school?" he asked me. God how I wished he would stop. But he sounded so interested and I didn't have the heart to tell him I hated talking about what my life could have been.
"I don't know I guess." I said. He must have detected a hint of annoyance in my voice because he quickly looked away and got quiet. Every now and then he would glance at me and open his mouth, as if he wanted to ask me something, then sigh and put his head back down. "If you want to ask me anything Billie Joe you can. I don't mind I swear." He laughed.
"Hey angels aren't supposed to swear. Come to think of it...are angels supposed yo say fuck? Cuz that night you screamed at me you said it quite a bit." Now it was my turn to laugh.
"Naah...the swearing thing is sort of bad but it's not like I mean it, and there's no commandment that says 'thou shald not utter thy word fuck' so I'm guessing it's ok." We both laughed for awhile and then there was that awkward silence. Finally after a few minutes he looked up at me again.
"Did you ever...eh hem...experience love?" he asked, pouring me another root beer and looking a little uncomfortable for asking such a personal question.
"No actually. I can't say that I did." I replied, feeling the slightest pang of sadness.
"Can angels fall in love." he asked me, and at that moment I had wondered the exact same thing. I decided to tell him the truth.
"You know, I don't really know. But I'm pretty sure they can."
"Oh." he said. I thought I detected a hint of hope in his voice but I just disregarded it as my imagination. It got awkwardly silent again and I didn't like it at all, so I said, "That's something I really miss about life."
"Oh?" he said. "What's the one thing you miss the most?" he asked, and quickly added, "If you don't mind me asking."
"No of course not." I said. "I'd have to say my best friend Taylor."
"The one who was like your sister." he added.
"Mmhmm. I wonder how her life is, and if she has forgotten about me." I said.
"Hmmm five years...that would make her 23?" Billie asked me. He had this lookon his face that said he was planning something.
"Yea, I'd be 23 too, but I still look 18 cuz that's how I looked when I died."
"Whats her last name?" he asked me.
"Mills." I replied. "Taylor Mills."
"Bond. James Bond" he said mocking my tone. I playfully smacked him. "No but seriously. You think we can find her?" Billie asked me.
"Yea. I suppose." I said, shrugging.
"Well then what the fuck are you waiting for? Hell to freeze over?" he said. I thought he was joking, but when I looked into his eyes I could tell her wasn't.
"Oh yes Billie. Let's go traipsing through Taylor's house telling her that her old best friend Charlie wants to speak to her from the other realm. Very smart." I said. "Let's give her a coronary, and hey! why not thrown in a trip to the insane asylum for you."
"No. I'm fuckin serious." he said. " I'll go and tell her that it may seem crazy but her best friend Charlie is my guardian angel. You can talk to her through me and you can move things or something....HOLY FUCK!....no you can write her a note on a piece of paper and get her to believe me. Then...then yea! Fuck it's perfect." Before I could object to such a crazy, not to mention completely random, idea Billie was running to his computer and making an attempt to google her.
"Billie Joe you really...REALLY...don't have to do this."
"Shut the fuck up Charlie, you helped me, now I wanna fuckin help you." he said in an excited voice. I just sat down in the chair next to his and kept my mouth shut. I hadn't seem him so excited, except of course when he was doing a show or recording, since I had been here. So I figured I'd let it go.
"Here." he said a few seconds later, motioning toward the computer screen. "Taylor Mills. Does she look familiar. I turned around and peered at the screen. I almost shit myself because the girl in the picture staring back at me was my best friend Taylor Mills, five years older.
"Shit." I muttered.
"It's her?!?" Billie shouted. I only nodded. "It's her!! It's fuckin her!" he screamed. I stood up and did a happy dance. I had to admit I was really excited. I'd get to talk to her, even though not directly, but I'd actually get to talk to her.
"Thank you!" I said wrapping my arms around Billie and embracing him. I looked into his eyelinered emerald green eyes. It was really awkward sitting there longing to kiss a man who was still in love with his dead wife and would never love me, so I pulled away. He looked back at the computer screen and read out the address.
"1422 Thanksgiving Blvd."
"Thanksgiving Blvd?" I said. "What an odd name. Hmm I wonder if she knows that you can find her address on google."
"Well I guess we'll find out tomarrow." he said. I was so excited I could barely breathe. I was so thankful for Billie Joe too. So thankful that it hurt.
"You were so young." he blurted out of nowhere. "You didn't even have a chance at life."
"I know." I said. I felt bad because he sounded so distraught, like it really bothered him, which I could understand because for the longest time It really bothered me. By now though I was used to it. "But hey....if I didn't die then I wouldn't be here with you right now."
"Yea." he said. "What did you want to be?" he asked studying me.
"I wanted to be either a writer or a photographer." I replied, wishing that we could change the subject.
"You wanted to go to art school?" he asked me. God how I wished he would stop. But he sounded so interested and I didn't have the heart to tell him I hated talking about what my life could have been.
"I don't know I guess." I said. He must have detected a hint of annoyance in my voice because he quickly looked away and got quiet. Every now and then he would glance at me and open his mouth, as if he wanted to ask me something, then sigh and put his head back down. "If you want to ask me anything Billie Joe you can. I don't mind I swear." He laughed.
"Hey angels aren't supposed to swear. Come to think of it...are angels supposed yo say fuck? Cuz that night you screamed at me you said it quite a bit." Now it was my turn to laugh.
"Naah...the swearing thing is sort of bad but it's not like I mean it, and there's no commandment that says 'thou shald not utter thy word fuck' so I'm guessing it's ok." We both laughed for awhile and then there was that awkward silence. Finally after a few minutes he looked up at me again.
"Did you ever...eh hem...experience love?" he asked, pouring me another root beer and looking a little uncomfortable for asking such a personal question.
"No actually. I can't say that I did." I replied, feeling the slightest pang of sadness.
"Can angels fall in love." he asked me, and at that moment I had wondered the exact same thing. I decided to tell him the truth.
"You know, I don't really know. But I'm pretty sure they can."
"Oh." he said. I thought I detected a hint of hope in his voice but I just disregarded it as my imagination. It got awkwardly silent again and I didn't like it at all, so I said, "That's something I really miss about life."
"Oh?" he said. "What's the one thing you miss the most?" he asked, and quickly added, "If you don't mind me asking."
"No of course not." I said. "I'd have to say my best friend Taylor."
"The one who was like your sister." he added.
"Mmhmm. I wonder how her life is, and if she has forgotten about me." I said.
"Hmmm five years...that would make her 23?" Billie asked me. He had this lookon his face that said he was planning something.
"Yea, I'd be 23 too, but I still look 18 cuz that's how I looked when I died."
"Whats her last name?" he asked me.
"Mills." I replied. "Taylor Mills."
"Bond. James Bond" he said mocking my tone. I playfully smacked him. "No but seriously. You think we can find her?" Billie asked me.
"Yea. I suppose." I said, shrugging.
"Well then what the fuck are you waiting for? Hell to freeze over?" he said. I thought he was joking, but when I looked into his eyes I could tell her wasn't.
"Oh yes Billie. Let's go traipsing through Taylor's house telling her that her old best friend Charlie wants to speak to her from the other realm. Very smart." I said. "Let's give her a coronary, and hey! why not thrown in a trip to the insane asylum for you."
"No. I'm fuckin serious." he said. " I'll go and tell her that it may seem crazy but her best friend Charlie is my guardian angel. You can talk to her through me and you can move things or something....HOLY FUCK!....no you can write her a note on a piece of paper and get her to believe me. Then...then yea! Fuck it's perfect." Before I could object to such a crazy, not to mention completely random, idea Billie was running to his computer and making an attempt to google her.
"Billie Joe you really...REALLY...don't have to do this."
"Shut the fuck up Charlie, you helped me, now I wanna fuckin help you." he said in an excited voice. I just sat down in the chair next to his and kept my mouth shut. I hadn't seem him so excited, except of course when he was doing a show or recording, since I had been here. So I figured I'd let it go.
"Here." he said a few seconds later, motioning toward the computer screen. "Taylor Mills. Does she look familiar. I turned around and peered at the screen. I almost shit myself because the girl in the picture staring back at me was my best friend Taylor Mills, five years older.
"Shit." I muttered.
"It's her?!?" Billie shouted. I only nodded. "It's her!! It's fuckin her!" he screamed. I stood up and did a happy dance. I had to admit I was really excited. I'd get to talk to her, even though not directly, but I'd actually get to talk to her.
"Thank you!" I said wrapping my arms around Billie and embracing him. I looked into his eyelinered emerald green eyes. It was really awkward sitting there longing to kiss a man who was still in love with his dead wife and would never love me, so I pulled away. He looked back at the computer screen and read out the address.
"1422 Thanksgiving Blvd."
"Thanksgiving Blvd?" I said. "What an odd name. Hmm I wonder if she knows that you can find her address on google."
"Well I guess we'll find out tomarrow." he said. I was so excited I could barely breathe. I was so thankful for Billie Joe too. So thankful that it hurt.
