Violence of Summer, chapter 36
April 1999
Tré knelt over the table skewing his mouth to one side trying very hard to keep his eyes open. His head felt heavier than ever as he separated the white powder on the table carefully. He looked up at his surrounding as the loud music still played through the dimly lit, trashed hotel room. He saw Mike already crashed out on the sofa among a few other random people. Billie was no where in sight and next to Tré on the floor was a topless girl he had just had sex with.
He sighed out heavily bending over sniffing up the white powder quickly before falling back onto the floor in exhaustion. He had no idea, where he was or what was happening any more. On tour, somewhere in Europe the boy's rebellion was getting the better of them. How long could they carry on like this for? They did not know. Tre rolled over next to the topless girl who was sleeping to wake her up.
After a month of carrying on like this the boys quit mid-tour. As always problems were arising and maybe this time worse than usual. The boys treaded home like coming back from the war and without he'sitation once Billie Joe got home he slept. For days it seemed.
He woke up late one afternoon to the sound of his only a few months old new born son Jakob. He groaned slightly rolling over in his bed looking out of his window at the groggy day. He pulled himself up out of bed and walked over to the wardrobe to pull out a t-shirt.
After a while of looking at his image in the mirror he went downstairs to get something to eat as he was absolutely famished. He entered the kitchen to see his wife by the counter washing up some dishes. Without even greeting her he went straight over to the cupboard and looked inside scanning through a few more.
"Is there anything to eat in this house?" Billie asked.
Adrienne sighed out heavily. "Why don't you go out and get some food from the store?"
"I thought you would have supplied. Seeing as you knew I was coming home."
"Yes I'm sorry Billie." Adrienne said turning around to look at her husband. "I'm sorry I forgot to get you some food on top of looking after your five year old son and a new born baby as well as looking after the house and running around trying to look after my fucked up husband."
Billie widened his eyes at Adrienne feeling as if he had just been slapped across the face. "Jesus Adie. What's got into you?"
"Nothing's got into me Billie." Adrienne said frustrated. "Try being your wife."
"Don't get all hormonal on me now for fuck sake." Billie groaned. "I just quit mid-tour to come home for you. I thought you'd be a bit more appreciative."
"Billie you quit because you were strung out. Not because of me." Adrienne replied turning around to leave the kitchen.
"Strung out!? On what?" Billie shouted after her.
"Forget it." Adrienne said from the front room. "I think I preferred it when you were in bed."
Billie came into the front room facing Adrienne. "Well when I came home I was expecting to be faced with my happy wife and two wonderful boys but it seemed I was wrong. Instead I've got you giving me all this in my face!" Billie said bitterly.
"Then go back on tour then Billie!" Adrienne said trying very hard not to raise her voice as she had just got Jakob back to sleep. "Face reality. You can't expect me to be glowing and happy after I've had to have Jakob on my own while you were off trashing hotel rooms, getting high and getting sucked off by some blonde groupie."
"Sorry for doing my fucking job!" Billie shouted.
"Can you not swear in front of our new born please?" Adrienne hissed waving a hand over to the moses basket where Jakob was fast asleep. "And I don't see how any of what I just said is part of your job."
"Yeah well here's reality for you... " Billie sneered. "It is!"
"Get out of my way... " Adrienne said pushing past Billie making her way out of the front room. Billie puffed out angrily following her out of the room.
"Why you bein' so bitchy to me today anyway?" Billie called after her.
Adrienne stopped in her tracks turning around to look at her husband. "Leave me alone Billie. I don't wanna talk to you or look at you right now."
Billie frowned going over to her as she walked back into the kitchen standing by the counter. "First you're complaining about me not being here and now you're asking me to leave?"
"Billie just go!" Adrienne said loudly.
Billie stepped back before taking a glass of the counter throwing it across the room so it hit the wall forcefully and smashed. He turned around and left the kitchen storming out of the house. Once the front door opened then slammed shut the faint sound of crying could be heard from the front room. Adrienne sunk to the floor and buried her head in her hands as she sat there crying.
Meanwhile outside where Billie had stormed over to the car he got in shutting the door forcefully sticking his keys in the ignition. He drove out of their drive way hurriedly and drove... Where to he didn't know. He just wanted to drive far away. Far away from it all... From his home... From his life... From himself.
After what seemed like an hour of driving he finally stopped at a car park by the beach and slammed his head against the steering wheel. Things started rummaging through the lead singers brain frantically. He began remembering events and happenings of the past decade as he sat in the car in total silence and tried to get a grip on himself. He needed a joint... no I can't... I promised Adrienne I'd try and stop with all this shit... He thought to himself. What the hell am I talking about I was high almost every day on that last tour...
Billie sighed out heavily sticking his hand in his trouser pocket getting out a small sachet of weed and a pack of rizzla's. He stopped suddenly putting his head in his hands feeling like an idiot. It was all getting to him, like a big punch in the face Billie suddenly realized how much of an asshole he was being. He can't carry on like this... I have two children for the love of god. Two great children who my wife is looking after at home all alone... And here I am smoking this shit? What the fuck is wrong with you, you heartless bastard?
Billie opened the car door stepping out with the sachet of weed still in his hands as he walked down the steps to the beach where he walked onto the sand going right out to the ocean. He stopped just before his shoes could get wet as he looked out into the waves. He took one last look at the small sachet in his hands swallowing heavily before chucking it as far as he possibly could into the ocean. After a few seconds he collapsed on the sand and looked up at the grey cloudy sky.
"Why was that the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life?" Billie thought aloud. "Have I really become that weak?"
He stayed there lying on the sand for a couple of hours until it got dark. He needed to clear his head a lot before he went home to his wife and two kids. Just as he was about to pick himself up something vibrated in his pocket as he jolted almost jumping out of his skin. He grabbed his mobile phone out of his pocket frantically chuckling at himself. He looked for the little receiver button to answer it. "Fucking technology... " he grumbled finally finding the button receiving the call.
"Hello?" he said down the line.
"Oh Bill! Thank God you answered." Tre's voice said down the line.
"Hey Tre my man what's going down?"
"Bill look I need to ask you a favor." There was something about Tre's voice that Billie was quite un sure of.
"Yeah what's wrong?"
"Look me and Lisea have had a little bust up. Well I guess little is the wrong word but, look Bill I can't explain now okay but she chucked me out and I need somewhere to stay... "
"Holy fuck man." Billie said getting up as he started walking over to his car. "Are you okay?"
"Well I'm just in a phone booth freezing my nut off and I'm just a little bit FUCKING PISSED OFF!" he shouted down the phone. "So can I come over?"
"Urm... " Billie he'sitated remembering his own 'little bust up' he had had this afternoon with his own wife but he couldn't leave Tre out on his own. His wife had just thrown him out and he needed a helping hand. "Of course you can man."
"Thanks dude." Tre said before hanging up.
"Shit... " Billie said to himself quietly.
Tré knelt over the table skewing his mouth to one side trying very hard to keep his eyes open. His head felt heavier than ever as he separated the white powder on the table carefully. He looked up at his surrounding as the loud music still played through the dimly lit, trashed hotel room. He saw Mike already crashed out on the sofa among a few other random people. Billie was no where in sight and next to Tré on the floor was a topless girl he had just had sex with.
He sighed out heavily bending over sniffing up the white powder quickly before falling back onto the floor in exhaustion. He had no idea, where he was or what was happening any more. On tour, somewhere in Europe the boy's rebellion was getting the better of them. How long could they carry on like this for? They did not know. Tre rolled over next to the topless girl who was sleeping to wake her up.
After a month of carrying on like this the boys quit mid-tour. As always problems were arising and maybe this time worse than usual. The boys treaded home like coming back from the war and without he'sitation once Billie Joe got home he slept. For days it seemed.
He woke up late one afternoon to the sound of his only a few months old new born son Jakob. He groaned slightly rolling over in his bed looking out of his window at the groggy day. He pulled himself up out of bed and walked over to the wardrobe to pull out a t-shirt.
After a while of looking at his image in the mirror he went downstairs to get something to eat as he was absolutely famished. He entered the kitchen to see his wife by the counter washing up some dishes. Without even greeting her he went straight over to the cupboard and looked inside scanning through a few more.
"Is there anything to eat in this house?" Billie asked.
Adrienne sighed out heavily. "Why don't you go out and get some food from the store?"
"I thought you would have supplied. Seeing as you knew I was coming home."
"Yes I'm sorry Billie." Adrienne said turning around to look at her husband. "I'm sorry I forgot to get you some food on top of looking after your five year old son and a new born baby as well as looking after the house and running around trying to look after my fucked up husband."
Billie widened his eyes at Adrienne feeling as if he had just been slapped across the face. "Jesus Adie. What's got into you?"
"Nothing's got into me Billie." Adrienne said frustrated. "Try being your wife."
"Don't get all hormonal on me now for fuck sake." Billie groaned. "I just quit mid-tour to come home for you. I thought you'd be a bit more appreciative."
"Billie you quit because you were strung out. Not because of me." Adrienne replied turning around to leave the kitchen.
"Strung out!? On what?" Billie shouted after her.
"Forget it." Adrienne said from the front room. "I think I preferred it when you were in bed."
Billie came into the front room facing Adrienne. "Well when I came home I was expecting to be faced with my happy wife and two wonderful boys but it seemed I was wrong. Instead I've got you giving me all this in my face!" Billie said bitterly.
"Then go back on tour then Billie!" Adrienne said trying very hard not to raise her voice as she had just got Jakob back to sleep. "Face reality. You can't expect me to be glowing and happy after I've had to have Jakob on my own while you were off trashing hotel rooms, getting high and getting sucked off by some blonde groupie."
"Sorry for doing my fucking job!" Billie shouted.
"Can you not swear in front of our new born please?" Adrienne hissed waving a hand over to the moses basket where Jakob was fast asleep. "And I don't see how any of what I just said is part of your job."
"Yeah well here's reality for you... " Billie sneered. "It is!"
"Get out of my way... " Adrienne said pushing past Billie making her way out of the front room. Billie puffed out angrily following her out of the room.
"Why you bein' so bitchy to me today anyway?" Billie called after her.
Adrienne stopped in her tracks turning around to look at her husband. "Leave me alone Billie. I don't wanna talk to you or look at you right now."
Billie frowned going over to her as she walked back into the kitchen standing by the counter. "First you're complaining about me not being here and now you're asking me to leave?"
"Billie just go!" Adrienne said loudly.
Billie stepped back before taking a glass of the counter throwing it across the room so it hit the wall forcefully and smashed. He turned around and left the kitchen storming out of the house. Once the front door opened then slammed shut the faint sound of crying could be heard from the front room. Adrienne sunk to the floor and buried her head in her hands as she sat there crying.
Meanwhile outside where Billie had stormed over to the car he got in shutting the door forcefully sticking his keys in the ignition. He drove out of their drive way hurriedly and drove... Where to he didn't know. He just wanted to drive far away. Far away from it all... From his home... From his life... From himself.
After what seemed like an hour of driving he finally stopped at a car park by the beach and slammed his head against the steering wheel. Things started rummaging through the lead singers brain frantically. He began remembering events and happenings of the past decade as he sat in the car in total silence and tried to get a grip on himself. He needed a joint... no I can't... I promised Adrienne I'd try and stop with all this shit... He thought to himself. What the hell am I talking about I was high almost every day on that last tour...
Billie sighed out heavily sticking his hand in his trouser pocket getting out a small sachet of weed and a pack of rizzla's. He stopped suddenly putting his head in his hands feeling like an idiot. It was all getting to him, like a big punch in the face Billie suddenly realized how much of an asshole he was being. He can't carry on like this... I have two children for the love of god. Two great children who my wife is looking after at home all alone... And here I am smoking this shit? What the fuck is wrong with you, you heartless bastard?
Billie opened the car door stepping out with the sachet of weed still in his hands as he walked down the steps to the beach where he walked onto the sand going right out to the ocean. He stopped just before his shoes could get wet as he looked out into the waves. He took one last look at the small sachet in his hands swallowing heavily before chucking it as far as he possibly could into the ocean. After a few seconds he collapsed on the sand and looked up at the grey cloudy sky.
"Why was that the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life?" Billie thought aloud. "Have I really become that weak?"
He stayed there lying on the sand for a couple of hours until it got dark. He needed to clear his head a lot before he went home to his wife and two kids. Just as he was about to pick himself up something vibrated in his pocket as he jolted almost jumping out of his skin. He grabbed his mobile phone out of his pocket frantically chuckling at himself. He looked for the little receiver button to answer it. "Fucking technology... " he grumbled finally finding the button receiving the call.
"Hello?" he said down the line.
"Oh Bill! Thank God you answered." Tre's voice said down the line.
"Hey Tre my man what's going down?"
"Bill look I need to ask you a favor." There was something about Tre's voice that Billie was quite un sure of.
"Yeah what's wrong?"
"Look me and Lisea have had a little bust up. Well I guess little is the wrong word but, look Bill I can't explain now okay but she chucked me out and I need somewhere to stay... "
"Holy fuck man." Billie said getting up as he started walking over to his car. "Are you okay?"
"Well I'm just in a phone booth freezing my nut off and I'm just a little bit FUCKING PISSED OFF!" he shouted down the phone. "So can I come over?"
"Urm... " Billie he'sitated remembering his own 'little bust up' he had had this afternoon with his own wife but he couldn't leave Tre out on his own. His wife had just thrown him out and he needed a helping hand. "Of course you can man."
"Thanks dude." Tre said before hanging up.
"Shit... " Billie said to himself quietly.
