Violence of Summer, chapter 39
The three boys of Green Day were in the recording studio on a warm Saturday afternoon attempting to finish of their new awaited album titled 'Warning'. However as easy as they thought it would be, trouble was brewing in the air between the three band mates and it wasn't a very good atmosphere for them to be recording in.
"For fuck sake!" Billie finally shouted. "You know when you two decide to grow up I'll start doing things right!"
"Well if you sorted your fucking head out maybe things wouldn't be so difficult!" Tre shot back.
"Tre shut up!" Mike said loudly. "Jesus! We're never gonna get this piece of shit done if we carry on like this!"
"Well we'll never get it done with that sort of attitude!" Billie scoffed. "Calling your own stuff a piece of shit isn't exactly a very forward way of thinking is it?"
"I dunno Billie, you wrote these lyrics... yet you're the one usually complaining about them."
"Yeah you're not the only one who thinks they're shit." Tre grumbled twisting his drumsticks between his fingers.
"Like you're so clever Mr fucking-know-it-all." Billie said rolling his eyes.
"Oh would you two shut up." Mike sighed heavily. "I don't want to have to spend more time in the studio than I have to with you two. I have a daughter to look after and her mother to please which seems harder than usual these days... "
"Ain't it just... " Tre whispered sitting up straight on his stool.
"Good. So I'm not the only one with woman problems." Billie said straightening out his microphone.
"You haven't heard?" Mike said raising his eyebrows as Billie looked him.
"Heard what?"
Mike looked at Tre as Billie turned around to look at the drummer who just looked up at the two of them from behind his drums. "Lisea and I are getting divorced." He mumbled.
"What!?" Billie screeched. "Why?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Tre shrugged.
"I can only guess why." Billie said rolling his eyes.
"Fuck you." Tre said. "Like I'm the fucking bad one!? Don't go jumping to conclusions... I know what you're thinking."
"I wasn't thinking anything!" Billie said widening his eyes. "God... "
"I can't do this... " Tre said throwing his sticks aside. "I don't know how you expect me to make music like this." He got up out of his stool and made his way over to the door.
"Where do you think your going!?" Mike shouted as Tre opened the door ignoring him.
"Finish the album without me. See if I give a shit." Tre said before slamming the door shut.
"For fuck sake!" Billie shouted kicking the amp furiously.
***
January 2000
The millennium had come and gone with a bang. A new century was hoped for new beginnings, new lives... a fresh start shall we say.
Well there were definitely some new changes going on between the noble friends. First was the... well... not so big shock of Tre and Lisea's divorce. Perhaps the friends had seen it coming but they knew that the two were having a hard time coping with each other as well as having their daughter in the middle of it all. It had almost been a year since Charlie's husband had left her two weeks prior to giving birth. None of the friends knew why he had left, none of them had the intention to find out but all they knew was that Charlie's daughter Ashleigh had brought a spark of life to Charlie.
Between the three boys of Green Day they had squeezed out 'Warning' by the end of January. They knew it wasn't the best they could've done but none of them really seemed to care. It was another album and it was finished and that was all they cared about at this moment in time. Not all was at the highest right now. And yet another shock was going to come to them in mid - February.
At a casual get together with Charlie, Mike, Tre and Adrienne while Billie took the boys for a 'boys only' day out Charlie announced something they had all been dreading for a while.
"So anyway... " Charlie said picking up her drink. "I've got something to tell you guys... " she paused slightly as her three friends stared back at her. "I was gonna wait 'till Billie was here as well but... I kinda wanna get it out of the way."
"Well what is it?" Adrienne asked.
"I'm moving." Charlie said simply.
"Moving house?" Mike asked. "What's wrong with the one you've got?"
"No I'm moving... away... " Charlie said quietly waiting for a reaction.
"What exactly do you mean by away?" Adrienne frowned.
"New York."
"What!?" Adrienne said loudly. "New York!? Charlie why?"
"I got a really great job offer but it's in New York. It's really good because it's basically in the city and it's great for Ashleigh and Ben's there as well... " Charlie stopped looking at Adrienne's face chuckling lightly. "Come on Adie don't look at me like that."
"Well... jeez Chaz... " she said suddenly becoming quite sad. "First Sid, now you... " she said quietly.
"Yeah but this is different to Sid! She just left without saying goodbye plus she's on the other side of the world I'm still in the same country!"
Mike frowned at her ruffling his hair feeling himself knot up inside. He turned his head to look at Tre who was sat back on the couch. He didn't seem to have any sort of expression on his face... he was just sat there watching Charlie and Adrienne talk. Was he feeling how Mike was feeling when Sid left? Did he really think they had a chance... after all that had gone on between them? Did Mike still have a chance with the girl he still loved that was all the way in England?
Mike looked back at Charlie breathing in heavily. "So when are you leaving?" he asked.
"Two weeks from today." Charlie sighed. "I know it seems like a bad thing but it isn't. I mean what with you guys traveling around all the time... it's not like it's an issue to come and see me is it?"
Mike knew exactly what Tre was thinking right now. It was an issue to go and see her because ever since Sid had left they hadn't gone to see her once. It wasn't like they could just pop in and say hello for ten minutes... it was a different state completely. Why now?
***
Two weeks had gone quicker than imaginable. The four friends had agreed to driving Charlie and Ashleigh to the airport while Adie's two boys were dropped off at Billie's mothers place. The conversation Tre had with Mike the previous night was racking through Tre's brain as he went over and over it again and again.
"So you're gonna let her get away? After all this time, the two of you were this close and your gonna let her get away Tre? Why man!?" Mike frowned.
Tre rubbed both hands over his face, frustrated with himself. "I really thought we could make it Mike. There's something inside me that is telling me I should do it but I never can... I guess me and Charlie were just never meant to be." He said shaking his head.
"Don't be such a loser!" Mike said angrily. "You just never tried hard enough! The two of you were stupid, always trying to make each other jealous. Tomorrow she's leaving to go to New York so now's your cue to do it Tre for fuck sake! How hard does it need to slap you? Tell her you love her and get it done and over with, your gonna kill yourself over this."
"You didn't kill yourself over Sid, Mike. And she just left! Don't you think this is just a teenage crush still?"
Mike stared at Tre taking in a shaky breath. "If you think I got over Sid that easily you're really wrong! I loved that girl... and I blew it with her. What she did was probably the best thing she ever did because I would've ended up hurting her more than I already did but I would give anything to go back and say goodbye properly. Anything to tell her how much I loved her. Don't make the same mistake I did, I let the most special girl in my life slip right out of my grasp. I've never told anyone this! Not even Billie... Jesus Tre I haven't even told my ex-wife about this. The woman I had a child with doesn't even know the pain I've been going through all these years because of one girl I let go! So don't make the same mistake!"
Tre looked at Mike in awe massaging his forehead. "Wow Mike... I never knew you felt that way about her... " Tre whispered.
"I always did... "
"I've been a dickhead... to a lot of people... " Tre said quietly. "But I can't say goodbye to her. How do I do that?"
Mike looked at Tre and shrugged his shoulders. "The answer to that Tre... is that you don't."
So here they were... saying their goodbyes. Tre stood aside his hands stuck tightly in his pockets knowing he was going to be the one taking her and Ashleigh to the terminal gate. He picked up the miniature little Charlie in his arms as a nine month old Ashleigh smiled at him. Her innocent little eyes looked into his... as he stuck his tongue out at her and made some more goofy faces making her giggle furiously.
Finally Tre noticed it was just him and Charlie alone in the waiting lounge as Charlie turned to look at him and he stopped making faces at Ashleigh.
"You know this kid is the only kid that laughs at my jokes even though she has no idea what I'm talking about." Tre said.
"Tre half of the population has no idea what you're talking about most of the time." Charlie chuckled as Tre handed her daughter to her.
"Half of the population are just too slow to catch up with my fast wit don't you mean." Tre said pointing a finger at himself. Charlie put Ashleigh down in the chair before standing back up straight to look at Tre taking in a deep breath.
"I've kinda been dreading this moment... " Tre said quietly looking at the floor. Charlie swallowed the lump in her throat trying to hold back from crying. "But... it had to come one time or another. So... "
"I know you guys never visited Sid." Charlie said suddenly cutting Tre off. "I don't see why you have to be as weak as Mike was. You know they had a completely different history. Why are you acting as if you're never gonna see me again?"
"It's not the same is it though Chaz?" Tre said looking back up at her. He tried his uttermost hardest to try and keep his emotions locked up at this point. "I can't walk over to yours and say hi, I can't ask if you want to go to the beach? Why are you changing your life around? This is your home!"
"Tre... " Charlie bit her bottom lip.
"Don't go." Tre said sharply. "Don't leave Charlie."
"Tre listen." Charlie said going forward taking his face in her hands. "I know that you think... every decision I've ever made in my life hasn't been right for me. I know you think that everything I might have done... was stupid, or not right." Tre looked at her as she continued. "But this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. And I'm asking you... just this once please support me. I need it more than anything. I have to do this. I have to go."
Tre looked at the floor nodding his head for a few seconds. He felt Charlie pull him closer as she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. He followed her action holding her closely closing his eyes tightly.
"You know something... " Tre whispered. "I'm really gonna fucking miss you." Charlie said nothing just sniffled quietly. "And... don't start crying or anything because, if you start crying then... I'll start crying and... we don't need that now do we?"
Charlie chuckled slightly pulling back from him as she wiped a tear from her face. "Thank you." She whispered.
"What for?" he asked.
"For understanding."
The call for the flight to New York echoed over the intercom as Charlie took in a deep breath putting on a brave face trying to muster up a smile.
"Goodbye Charlotte Jessica." Tre said wiping a piece of hair from her face.
"Goodbye Franky boy." She went forward kissing Tre on the cheek before pulling back as they took one last look at each other and she turned around picking up her luggage. She picked up Ashleigh who had fallen asleep despite all the bustling passengers as Tre watched the two of him walk through the terminal gate.
There she goes... my favourite girl...
"I love you Charlie... " Tre whispered.
Charlie finally got seated making sure Ashleigh was carefully in her seat before taking off her jacket. Just as she slipped it off she saw something fall out of the pocket as she picked up the small piece of paper that fell onto her lap. She opened it up carefully recognizing Tre's hand writing immediately as she smiled slightly to herself and began to read.
Hey Chaz... if you're on the plane then I've already said what I had to say and right now I'm probably watching the plane so look out the window and wave. Well actually no don't do that 'cause the luggage guys might think you're waving at them and you wouldn't wanna wave at them 'cause they always fucking loose my luggage and... no anyway I listened to this song the other day and... I kinda thought it was nice. So this is for you, my fave gal...
Now while the beat is slow
Here in your arms I sway
Now that the light is low
Something I want to say
I guess you've known it for a while
That I'm in trouble
I only want to see you smile
And I've burst this bubble
The hardest thing is to let go
When love is real
Like a flower loves a bee
But I know you're meant
To give yourself
To someone else not me
And I could carry on with you
Does that sound crazy?
I think you feel the same way to
And you can't face it
The hardest thing is to let go
But its not defeat
When you set somebody free
And I know you're meant to be yourself
With someone else not me
Can you let go?
Cause that's love that's real
Like a flower loves a bee
And you know you're meant
To give yourself
To someone else not me
Tre - xx
"Oh Tre... " Charlie whispered putting her hand on her forehead as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
Tre finally came out of the airport strolling over to the car with his head bowed, looking at his shoes. He felt someone's hand being placed on his back as he looked up to see Billie Joe smiling at him warmly.
"How you feeling?"
"Empty." Tre admitted.
"How did it go?"
"Awful."
Tre looked up and stopped walking. "I had to let her go Billie. I just had to let her go."
"I know man." Billie nodded. "You'll see her again."
Tre sighed heavily looking back at the airport once more before getting in the car. He leaned his elbows on his knees and rubbed the back of his neck with his hands as the four drove off... back home...
"For fuck sake!" Billie finally shouted. "You know when you two decide to grow up I'll start doing things right!"
"Well if you sorted your fucking head out maybe things wouldn't be so difficult!" Tre shot back.
"Tre shut up!" Mike said loudly. "Jesus! We're never gonna get this piece of shit done if we carry on like this!"
"Well we'll never get it done with that sort of attitude!" Billie scoffed. "Calling your own stuff a piece of shit isn't exactly a very forward way of thinking is it?"
"I dunno Billie, you wrote these lyrics... yet you're the one usually complaining about them."
"Yeah you're not the only one who thinks they're shit." Tre grumbled twisting his drumsticks between his fingers.
"Like you're so clever Mr fucking-know-it-all." Billie said rolling his eyes.
"Oh would you two shut up." Mike sighed heavily. "I don't want to have to spend more time in the studio than I have to with you two. I have a daughter to look after and her mother to please which seems harder than usual these days... "
"Ain't it just... " Tre whispered sitting up straight on his stool.
"Good. So I'm not the only one with woman problems." Billie said straightening out his microphone.
"You haven't heard?" Mike said raising his eyebrows as Billie looked him.
"Heard what?"
Mike looked at Tre as Billie turned around to look at the drummer who just looked up at the two of them from behind his drums. "Lisea and I are getting divorced." He mumbled.
"What!?" Billie screeched. "Why?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Tre shrugged.
"I can only guess why." Billie said rolling his eyes.
"Fuck you." Tre said. "Like I'm the fucking bad one!? Don't go jumping to conclusions... I know what you're thinking."
"I wasn't thinking anything!" Billie said widening his eyes. "God... "
"I can't do this... " Tre said throwing his sticks aside. "I don't know how you expect me to make music like this." He got up out of his stool and made his way over to the door.
"Where do you think your going!?" Mike shouted as Tre opened the door ignoring him.
"Finish the album without me. See if I give a shit." Tre said before slamming the door shut.
"For fuck sake!" Billie shouted kicking the amp furiously.
***
January 2000
The millennium had come and gone with a bang. A new century was hoped for new beginnings, new lives... a fresh start shall we say.
Well there were definitely some new changes going on between the noble friends. First was the... well... not so big shock of Tre and Lisea's divorce. Perhaps the friends had seen it coming but they knew that the two were having a hard time coping with each other as well as having their daughter in the middle of it all. It had almost been a year since Charlie's husband had left her two weeks prior to giving birth. None of the friends knew why he had left, none of them had the intention to find out but all they knew was that Charlie's daughter Ashleigh had brought a spark of life to Charlie.
Between the three boys of Green Day they had squeezed out 'Warning' by the end of January. They knew it wasn't the best they could've done but none of them really seemed to care. It was another album and it was finished and that was all they cared about at this moment in time. Not all was at the highest right now. And yet another shock was going to come to them in mid - February.
At a casual get together with Charlie, Mike, Tre and Adrienne while Billie took the boys for a 'boys only' day out Charlie announced something they had all been dreading for a while.
"So anyway... " Charlie said picking up her drink. "I've got something to tell you guys... " she paused slightly as her three friends stared back at her. "I was gonna wait 'till Billie was here as well but... I kinda wanna get it out of the way."
"Well what is it?" Adrienne asked.
"I'm moving." Charlie said simply.
"Moving house?" Mike asked. "What's wrong with the one you've got?"
"No I'm moving... away... " Charlie said quietly waiting for a reaction.
"What exactly do you mean by away?" Adrienne frowned.
"New York."
"What!?" Adrienne said loudly. "New York!? Charlie why?"
"I got a really great job offer but it's in New York. It's really good because it's basically in the city and it's great for Ashleigh and Ben's there as well... " Charlie stopped looking at Adrienne's face chuckling lightly. "Come on Adie don't look at me like that."
"Well... jeez Chaz... " she said suddenly becoming quite sad. "First Sid, now you... " she said quietly.
"Yeah but this is different to Sid! She just left without saying goodbye plus she's on the other side of the world I'm still in the same country!"
Mike frowned at her ruffling his hair feeling himself knot up inside. He turned his head to look at Tre who was sat back on the couch. He didn't seem to have any sort of expression on his face... he was just sat there watching Charlie and Adrienne talk. Was he feeling how Mike was feeling when Sid left? Did he really think they had a chance... after all that had gone on between them? Did Mike still have a chance with the girl he still loved that was all the way in England?
Mike looked back at Charlie breathing in heavily. "So when are you leaving?" he asked.
"Two weeks from today." Charlie sighed. "I know it seems like a bad thing but it isn't. I mean what with you guys traveling around all the time... it's not like it's an issue to come and see me is it?"
Mike knew exactly what Tre was thinking right now. It was an issue to go and see her because ever since Sid had left they hadn't gone to see her once. It wasn't like they could just pop in and say hello for ten minutes... it was a different state completely. Why now?
***
Two weeks had gone quicker than imaginable. The four friends had agreed to driving Charlie and Ashleigh to the airport while Adie's two boys were dropped off at Billie's mothers place. The conversation Tre had with Mike the previous night was racking through Tre's brain as he went over and over it again and again.
"So you're gonna let her get away? After all this time, the two of you were this close and your gonna let her get away Tre? Why man!?" Mike frowned.
Tre rubbed both hands over his face, frustrated with himself. "I really thought we could make it Mike. There's something inside me that is telling me I should do it but I never can... I guess me and Charlie were just never meant to be." He said shaking his head.
"Don't be such a loser!" Mike said angrily. "You just never tried hard enough! The two of you were stupid, always trying to make each other jealous. Tomorrow she's leaving to go to New York so now's your cue to do it Tre for fuck sake! How hard does it need to slap you? Tell her you love her and get it done and over with, your gonna kill yourself over this."
"You didn't kill yourself over Sid, Mike. And she just left! Don't you think this is just a teenage crush still?"
Mike stared at Tre taking in a shaky breath. "If you think I got over Sid that easily you're really wrong! I loved that girl... and I blew it with her. What she did was probably the best thing she ever did because I would've ended up hurting her more than I already did but I would give anything to go back and say goodbye properly. Anything to tell her how much I loved her. Don't make the same mistake I did, I let the most special girl in my life slip right out of my grasp. I've never told anyone this! Not even Billie... Jesus Tre I haven't even told my ex-wife about this. The woman I had a child with doesn't even know the pain I've been going through all these years because of one girl I let go! So don't make the same mistake!"
Tre looked at Mike in awe massaging his forehead. "Wow Mike... I never knew you felt that way about her... " Tre whispered.
"I always did... "
"I've been a dickhead... to a lot of people... " Tre said quietly. "But I can't say goodbye to her. How do I do that?"
Mike looked at Tre and shrugged his shoulders. "The answer to that Tre... is that you don't."
So here they were... saying their goodbyes. Tre stood aside his hands stuck tightly in his pockets knowing he was going to be the one taking her and Ashleigh to the terminal gate. He picked up the miniature little Charlie in his arms as a nine month old Ashleigh smiled at him. Her innocent little eyes looked into his... as he stuck his tongue out at her and made some more goofy faces making her giggle furiously.
Finally Tre noticed it was just him and Charlie alone in the waiting lounge as Charlie turned to look at him and he stopped making faces at Ashleigh.
"You know this kid is the only kid that laughs at my jokes even though she has no idea what I'm talking about." Tre said.
"Tre half of the population has no idea what you're talking about most of the time." Charlie chuckled as Tre handed her daughter to her.
"Half of the population are just too slow to catch up with my fast wit don't you mean." Tre said pointing a finger at himself. Charlie put Ashleigh down in the chair before standing back up straight to look at Tre taking in a deep breath.
"I've kinda been dreading this moment... " Tre said quietly looking at the floor. Charlie swallowed the lump in her throat trying to hold back from crying. "But... it had to come one time or another. So... "
"I know you guys never visited Sid." Charlie said suddenly cutting Tre off. "I don't see why you have to be as weak as Mike was. You know they had a completely different history. Why are you acting as if you're never gonna see me again?"
"It's not the same is it though Chaz?" Tre said looking back up at her. He tried his uttermost hardest to try and keep his emotions locked up at this point. "I can't walk over to yours and say hi, I can't ask if you want to go to the beach? Why are you changing your life around? This is your home!"
"Tre... " Charlie bit her bottom lip.
"Don't go." Tre said sharply. "Don't leave Charlie."
"Tre listen." Charlie said going forward taking his face in her hands. "I know that you think... every decision I've ever made in my life hasn't been right for me. I know you think that everything I might have done... was stupid, or not right." Tre looked at her as she continued. "But this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. And I'm asking you... just this once please support me. I need it more than anything. I have to do this. I have to go."
Tre looked at the floor nodding his head for a few seconds. He felt Charlie pull him closer as she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. He followed her action holding her closely closing his eyes tightly.
"You know something... " Tre whispered. "I'm really gonna fucking miss you." Charlie said nothing just sniffled quietly. "And... don't start crying or anything because, if you start crying then... I'll start crying and... we don't need that now do we?"
Charlie chuckled slightly pulling back from him as she wiped a tear from her face. "Thank you." She whispered.
"What for?" he asked.
"For understanding."
The call for the flight to New York echoed over the intercom as Charlie took in a deep breath putting on a brave face trying to muster up a smile.
"Goodbye Charlotte Jessica." Tre said wiping a piece of hair from her face.
"Goodbye Franky boy." She went forward kissing Tre on the cheek before pulling back as they took one last look at each other and she turned around picking up her luggage. She picked up Ashleigh who had fallen asleep despite all the bustling passengers as Tre watched the two of him walk through the terminal gate.
There she goes... my favourite girl...
"I love you Charlie... " Tre whispered.
Charlie finally got seated making sure Ashleigh was carefully in her seat before taking off her jacket. Just as she slipped it off she saw something fall out of the pocket as she picked up the small piece of paper that fell onto her lap. She opened it up carefully recognizing Tre's hand writing immediately as she smiled slightly to herself and began to read.
Hey Chaz... if you're on the plane then I've already said what I had to say and right now I'm probably watching the plane so look out the window and wave. Well actually no don't do that 'cause the luggage guys might think you're waving at them and you wouldn't wanna wave at them 'cause they always fucking loose my luggage and... no anyway I listened to this song the other day and... I kinda thought it was nice. So this is for you, my fave gal...
Now while the beat is slow
Here in your arms I sway
Now that the light is low
Something I want to say
I guess you've known it for a while
That I'm in trouble
I only want to see you smile
And I've burst this bubble
The hardest thing is to let go
When love is real
Like a flower loves a bee
But I know you're meant
To give yourself
To someone else not me
And I could carry on with you
Does that sound crazy?
I think you feel the same way to
And you can't face it
The hardest thing is to let go
But its not defeat
When you set somebody free
And I know you're meant to be yourself
With someone else not me
Can you let go?
Cause that's love that's real
Like a flower loves a bee
And you know you're meant
To give yourself
To someone else not me
Tre - xx
"Oh Tre... " Charlie whispered putting her hand on her forehead as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
Tre finally came out of the airport strolling over to the car with his head bowed, looking at his shoes. He felt someone's hand being placed on his back as he looked up to see Billie Joe smiling at him warmly.
"How you feeling?"
"Empty." Tre admitted.
"How did it go?"
"Awful."
Tre looked up and stopped walking. "I had to let her go Billie. I just had to let her go."
"I know man." Billie nodded. "You'll see her again."
Tre sighed heavily looking back at the airport once more before getting in the car. He leaned his elbows on his knees and rubbed the back of his neck with his hands as the four drove off... back home...
