When He Came Around, chapter 30
Tre hit his cymbals one last time and lowered his drumsticks. "So, what is it about Mercedes that you love so much?"
Billie Joe looked up suddenly at the drummer before him. "What?"
Tre smiled. "You heard me. What is it that you seem to get from her that you don't seem to get with Adrienne?"
Under any other circumstance, Billie Joe would have denied the entire thing. But considering his options, he just sighed. It had been nearly a year since Mercedes and Mike became the proud parents of little William Michael Pritchard and only a week now that everyone found out that Mercedes was pregnant again.
Things between him and Adrienne had gotten a little sour in the last few weeks; she had been spending more and more time at Adeline records and staying out later than usual, whereas Billie was normally found at home with Joey and Jacob and writing songs.
Billie Joe sighed. Looking at his dear friend and godfather of his children, Billie set down his guitar and sat down beside Tre. "It's just... sometimes I don't think that I'm enough for Adrienne. I just feel that she has these... expectations of me, and that's fine... but with Mercedes, I can just really... be myself. I can be stupid and say stupid things, but with Adrienne, lately, even when I'm joking around, she'll give me this look and tell me to set an example for Joey and Jacob. And it pisses me off. I know how to raise my own children!"
Billie stopped himself before his voice raised louder than he would have wanted Tre to hear, but it didn't take a fool to notice that what Billie was saying had been bottled up inside of him. "Have you spoken to Adrienne about this?"
"Of course not. She's so fucking busy."
Then, out of nowhere, Tre laughed.
"Would you mind telling me what's so funny?" Billie Joe spat out.
Tre shook his head. "We go on tour for months at a time, and here you are, telling me that she's too busy? Christ Billie, I think the both of you need some time off... from everything. Leave the boys with me and take a nice, needed vacation with Adie."
Billie Joe looked up at Tre. "You think that's what we need?"
Tre smiled. "You've both needed some time away."
The guitarist nodded and then turned back to the drummer. "You sure you don't mind?"
Tre bit his lip and thought for a moment. "Well... I know Claudia wanted to go out one night... I think on Thursday... meh. Mike and Mercedes won't mind watching them for one night."
And there it was. That fucking same roadblock. Mercedes. Although she had been spending a lot of time with Mike and little Billie, not to mention the other three children, Billie Joe had always made a point in the day to either call her or go over to their home. Just watching Mercedes being a mother and just being so loving raised a new bar in Billie's heart. Appreciation perhaps? Appreciation of the fact that she would never turn her back on him, or perhaps the knowledge that with no matter what the circumstance, what the hour, what the inconvenience, Billie could always rely on her, trust her and love her.
"You still listening to me?"
Billie snapped back to Tre and stared at him blankly. "Yeah sure."
Tre just shook his head. "Just... I know Mercedes isn't just another woman... hell... as I think about it know, maybe I would have been better off with her... but hence, I did lose my chance. I regret it sometimes, especially when I see her with Frankito or Ramona, but I guess I have moved on from whatever the hell it was that I was feeling. Point to fact... you haven't... and you're the one who has a wife that's been spending more and more time away from home."
"Do you think I drove Adie away?" Billie asked honestly.
Tre didn't answer immediately. He just nodded his head and waited before speaking. "I think you did... to an extent. But it's not to say that Adie could have also confronted whatever she was feeling instead of, for lack of a better word, running away. I guess, the both of you are at a fault."
Billie nodded and looked down. "I love her. I just love her so much," he said sadly, looking into the shiny floor.
"I know. You've always loved her," Tre said, standing up. "I'm going to call Claudia and then it's probably best that I head home after."
Billie just nodded and watched his friend exit the room. Of course, what Tre Cool didn't know was that Billie Joe wasn't talking about Adrienne...
*
On his way home that night, Billie Joe found himself finding every excuse to stop and pick something up either for the boys or for Adrienne. He didn't know why, but there was just this lack of enthusiasm for wanting to get home. Frowning, Billie Joe got into his car for the fifth time that evening and sat in the dark before he heard his phone ring. "Why aren't you home yet?"
Billie immediately perked up. "Tre?"
"The one and only."
"What... " he started.
"You can drop off the little ones whenever you and Adrienne decide to leave... although I think I told Adrienne that you had scheduled something for Friday morning."
"You think?"
"I know... anyway... it's been a while since we left the studio."
Billie ran his hand through his dark mane. "I know... I'm on my way."
"Bullshit. Listen, Billie, you're my best friend and I'm only going to say this to you once. She's married and she's happy with Mike. Don't do anything stupid... and don't ruin what you have... what people could only dream of. That's what you have with Adie... stuff that I only heard about in cheesy movies and shit. Just... go home to your family."
Billie Joe sat there, silent as a tomb. When Tre didn't hear a response, the drummer just sighed. "I'll call you tomorrow morning."
"Bye," was all that the guitarist said.
"Later."
Billie snapped his phone shut and looked around him. Where the hell was he? He was sitting in his car at some rundown 7-11 in the near middle of the night. He was at least thirty minutes away from home, and that was if there wasn't any traffic. Sighing, he looked around him once more and turned the car on.
The drive home was quiet, long and completely uneventful. As predicted, there were no cars at all and the roads were emptier than the void that Billie had managed to cause in his brain. His heart just wasn't anywhere anymore. He felt as if he was silently breaking away from everyone that had built him into the man that he once was... the man that he had enjoyed being for years. Just as of late... he was just... drifting.
"I'm not a drifter," he told himself.
Slamming his car door shut, he walked into his home and locked the door behind him. Looking around his home and at all the pictures, Billie Joe truly did feel blessed. He did have what most people could only dream of... he didn't just have one family... he had a whole group of families that all meant more than the world to him.
Touching the wedding picture on the wall softly, he heard some shuffling on the stairs. Turning around to see what the source of the noise was, he smiled instantly when he saw Adrienne standing a few feet from him. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Billie looked at her and frowned. Shouldn't he be the one apologizing for coming in late?
"Adie?"
"No... let me finish. You know more than anyone that I'm shit at putting my feelings into words so don't let me lose my train of thought... "
Billie took a few steps closer to her, but Adrienne just looked down. She seemed almost... nervous.
"I need some time away from you... from us."
As if the world had ended on that moment, Billie's mouth fell open, but he quickly shut it, surprised that he even had control over his physical form. "I beg your pardon?" he asked.
Adrienne shook her head. "I've been a wreck lately... completely suspicious of you in such a negative way and sometimes even cold towards Mercedes for no reason. It's not surprise that I've been spending more and more time at the studio, but that's not enough. I know I still love you... I can feel that I still love you more than ever, but I don't know if I like you that much right now. Truth be told, I don't much like myself for doing this... or like myself at all right now. I'm going to be staying with my sister... the boys already know where they can reach me, and they're not worried or anything... well, at least they haven't said anything to me."
Billie stared at his wife and frowned. "You're leaving me?"
"Oh for hell no... Billie Joe I just couldn't. There's just a lot of things on my mind now and I think it's for the best that I figure some things out."
"But... I love you Adie... I can help with whatever... I want to help with whatever you need."
Adrienne finally looked up at her husband. "I know... but sometimes, we don't want anyone else's help... just are own."
Unable to keep any more space between himself and Adrienne, Billie rushed towards her and pressed her against his body, holding onto her and kissing her fiercely. "I'm always going to need you Adie... and love you and want to be with you... I want you to be happy, more than anything else in the world. I'll do whatever you ask... even if that includes letting you go for a moment."
Adrienne managed a small smile and then kissed Billie. "I love you so much Billie."
He smiled widely and entwined her hair in his fingers. "Don't stay away too long though... " he told her.
She looked at her husband and shook her head. "I promise."
As Billie Joe held Adrienne in his arms, he felt like shit. Adrienne, his stable source of empathy and security was walking out of the home that they had made together. Here he stood, when only hours ago, he was pinning on Mercedes and now here he found himself, holding onto his wife that was leaving him, even if for only temporary. Breathing in Adrienne's faint scent, it wasn't vanilla, but it was just enough to bring that familiar flutter in his stomach and throat. Looking down for only a moment, he saw a bag by her feet and closed his eyes. "I guess you want to leave now?"
Adrienne pulled away and looked to where Billie was looking. She frowned and nodded. "My sister is expecting me tonight... so I guess I'll be getting a move on."
As Adrienne leaned down to pick up her bag, Billie beat her to it and held her bag in his arms. "I may be a little shaken right now, but I'm still the man."
Adrienne smiled. "Are you?"
"I'm the only man," he joked as he let his fingers fall from where he was playing with her dark hair.
*
Mike rubbed his tired eyes as the sun poured into his room. His dark hair getting messier by the second, he licked his lips and looked into the mirror. Playing with his ever-growing hair for only a bit, he decided to leave it as it was. A little bed-head never hurt anyone.
Mike let his hands fall to his side and looked to his right. Mercedes was still asleep, silent and as beautiful as ten thousand angels. The sun shone against her face and her hair pooled all around, making a gold-like river across the pillow. Smiling down at her, he let his hand touch her lips and grinned to himself. "I love you," he whispered quietly.
"And you make too much damn noise when you wake up in the morning," she said in return, her eyes remaining closed.
"How did you know I was awake?" he asked her.
"You move around a lot."
Mike shook his head and then noticed something that had caught him off guard. "You took out your eyebrow ring?" he asked.
Mercedes turned to lie on her other side, snuggling into Mike and nodded. "I am getting older and I've had it for so long." There was a small pause to which neither of them moved or said anything. "And because Billie kept pulling at it."
Mike laughed, picturing his son innocently poking and pulling Mercedes' eyebrow ring. Lying back down, Mike wrapped his arms around her and held her against his body. "Do you think we'll have another boy?" he asked her.
"We better," she joked.
Mike smiled. "You'd prefer raising another boy?"
Mercedes nodded. "I prefer males... I lived with my father and brother for the most part of my life."
"Still though... I'd want a girl."
Mercedes, for the first time that day, opened her eyes and looked up at Mike with her sparkling green eyes. "Why?"
Mike kissed her pouty lips softly. "Because... it would only be fair to the human race to have another woman out there that looks like you... to be fair to all the males out there."
Mercedes snorted a laugh and shook her head. She pulled herself up and was lying on top of Mike now, only inches from his face. With her arms supporting her on either side of the bassist, she looked down at the only man that she'd marry. "You're too kind for your own good."
"So are you going to have to punish me then?" he teased.
Mercedes eyes glimmered for only a brief second. Before she could answer in a manner that would have definitely please Mike, someone else decided to come in. "Don't punish him mommy."
Mike and Mercedes looked over and saw Liam standing in the doorway. As Mercedes watched her little boy, she was truly amazed at how fast they would grow up. It did feel to her that only yesterday she was on her way to Alberta to sign some papers and bring the bundles of joy back to Vancouver with her. And as she watched Liam shuffled in the doorway of their bedroom, she couldn't help but notice the little mannerisms that he had learnt from Mike. He was as close as you can get to being Mike's own son, despite the differences in appearance.
Mercedes laughed. "I won't punish him Liam," she told him.
Liam's face burst into a grin and he leaped up onto the bed, but not before Mike muttered a 'damn' in Mercedes' ear. Hugging Liam tightly, Mercedes fell back down against the bed and sighed. "Daddy... is school hard?"
Mike looked at Liam and shook his head. "Naw... you'll like school."
"Did you?"
Mike's face tried to conceal the smile that was emerging. "Your mommy liked school," was all he could answer without laughing.
Liam looked between his two 'parents' and then back at Mike. "Could I just play music like you and not go to school?" he asked.
Mercedes ruffled Liam's hair. "No you can't. Only if you're really good like daddy. Apart from that, you're hitting the books."
Liam's face dropped and his shoulders hunched over in disappointment. "We had it all planned," he moped.
Mercedes tilted her head to get a better look at her son. "What planned?"
"Joey and I were gonna be like daddy and uncle Billie, and then our Billie could be like uncle Tre."
Mercedes and Mike exchanged glances and then looked back at Liam. "Wouldn't that be a sight," Mike added before moving to tickle Liam, eliciting quite a few giggles from the twin.
Billie Joe looked up suddenly at the drummer before him. "What?"
Tre smiled. "You heard me. What is it that you seem to get from her that you don't seem to get with Adrienne?"
Under any other circumstance, Billie Joe would have denied the entire thing. But considering his options, he just sighed. It had been nearly a year since Mercedes and Mike became the proud parents of little William Michael Pritchard and only a week now that everyone found out that Mercedes was pregnant again.
Things between him and Adrienne had gotten a little sour in the last few weeks; she had been spending more and more time at Adeline records and staying out later than usual, whereas Billie was normally found at home with Joey and Jacob and writing songs.
Billie Joe sighed. Looking at his dear friend and godfather of his children, Billie set down his guitar and sat down beside Tre. "It's just... sometimes I don't think that I'm enough for Adrienne. I just feel that she has these... expectations of me, and that's fine... but with Mercedes, I can just really... be myself. I can be stupid and say stupid things, but with Adrienne, lately, even when I'm joking around, she'll give me this look and tell me to set an example for Joey and Jacob. And it pisses me off. I know how to raise my own children!"
Billie stopped himself before his voice raised louder than he would have wanted Tre to hear, but it didn't take a fool to notice that what Billie was saying had been bottled up inside of him. "Have you spoken to Adrienne about this?"
"Of course not. She's so fucking busy."
Then, out of nowhere, Tre laughed.
"Would you mind telling me what's so funny?" Billie Joe spat out.
Tre shook his head. "We go on tour for months at a time, and here you are, telling me that she's too busy? Christ Billie, I think the both of you need some time off... from everything. Leave the boys with me and take a nice, needed vacation with Adie."
Billie Joe looked up at Tre. "You think that's what we need?"
Tre smiled. "You've both needed some time away."
The guitarist nodded and then turned back to the drummer. "You sure you don't mind?"
Tre bit his lip and thought for a moment. "Well... I know Claudia wanted to go out one night... I think on Thursday... meh. Mike and Mercedes won't mind watching them for one night."
And there it was. That fucking same roadblock. Mercedes. Although she had been spending a lot of time with Mike and little Billie, not to mention the other three children, Billie Joe had always made a point in the day to either call her or go over to their home. Just watching Mercedes being a mother and just being so loving raised a new bar in Billie's heart. Appreciation perhaps? Appreciation of the fact that she would never turn her back on him, or perhaps the knowledge that with no matter what the circumstance, what the hour, what the inconvenience, Billie could always rely on her, trust her and love her.
"You still listening to me?"
Billie snapped back to Tre and stared at him blankly. "Yeah sure."
Tre just shook his head. "Just... I know Mercedes isn't just another woman... hell... as I think about it know, maybe I would have been better off with her... but hence, I did lose my chance. I regret it sometimes, especially when I see her with Frankito or Ramona, but I guess I have moved on from whatever the hell it was that I was feeling. Point to fact... you haven't... and you're the one who has a wife that's been spending more and more time away from home."
"Do you think I drove Adie away?" Billie asked honestly.
Tre didn't answer immediately. He just nodded his head and waited before speaking. "I think you did... to an extent. But it's not to say that Adie could have also confronted whatever she was feeling instead of, for lack of a better word, running away. I guess, the both of you are at a fault."
Billie nodded and looked down. "I love her. I just love her so much," he said sadly, looking into the shiny floor.
"I know. You've always loved her," Tre said, standing up. "I'm going to call Claudia and then it's probably best that I head home after."
Billie just nodded and watched his friend exit the room. Of course, what Tre Cool didn't know was that Billie Joe wasn't talking about Adrienne...
*
On his way home that night, Billie Joe found himself finding every excuse to stop and pick something up either for the boys or for Adrienne. He didn't know why, but there was just this lack of enthusiasm for wanting to get home. Frowning, Billie Joe got into his car for the fifth time that evening and sat in the dark before he heard his phone ring. "Why aren't you home yet?"
Billie immediately perked up. "Tre?"
"The one and only."
"What... " he started.
"You can drop off the little ones whenever you and Adrienne decide to leave... although I think I told Adrienne that you had scheduled something for Friday morning."
"You think?"
"I know... anyway... it's been a while since we left the studio."
Billie ran his hand through his dark mane. "I know... I'm on my way."
"Bullshit. Listen, Billie, you're my best friend and I'm only going to say this to you once. She's married and she's happy with Mike. Don't do anything stupid... and don't ruin what you have... what people could only dream of. That's what you have with Adie... stuff that I only heard about in cheesy movies and shit. Just... go home to your family."
Billie Joe sat there, silent as a tomb. When Tre didn't hear a response, the drummer just sighed. "I'll call you tomorrow morning."
"Bye," was all that the guitarist said.
"Later."
Billie snapped his phone shut and looked around him. Where the hell was he? He was sitting in his car at some rundown 7-11 in the near middle of the night. He was at least thirty minutes away from home, and that was if there wasn't any traffic. Sighing, he looked around him once more and turned the car on.
The drive home was quiet, long and completely uneventful. As predicted, there were no cars at all and the roads were emptier than the void that Billie had managed to cause in his brain. His heart just wasn't anywhere anymore. He felt as if he was silently breaking away from everyone that had built him into the man that he once was... the man that he had enjoyed being for years. Just as of late... he was just... drifting.
"I'm not a drifter," he told himself.
Slamming his car door shut, he walked into his home and locked the door behind him. Looking around his home and at all the pictures, Billie Joe truly did feel blessed. He did have what most people could only dream of... he didn't just have one family... he had a whole group of families that all meant more than the world to him.
Touching the wedding picture on the wall softly, he heard some shuffling on the stairs. Turning around to see what the source of the noise was, he smiled instantly when he saw Adrienne standing a few feet from him. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Billie looked at her and frowned. Shouldn't he be the one apologizing for coming in late?
"Adie?"
"No... let me finish. You know more than anyone that I'm shit at putting my feelings into words so don't let me lose my train of thought... "
Billie took a few steps closer to her, but Adrienne just looked down. She seemed almost... nervous.
"I need some time away from you... from us."
As if the world had ended on that moment, Billie's mouth fell open, but he quickly shut it, surprised that he even had control over his physical form. "I beg your pardon?" he asked.
Adrienne shook her head. "I've been a wreck lately... completely suspicious of you in such a negative way and sometimes even cold towards Mercedes for no reason. It's not surprise that I've been spending more and more time at the studio, but that's not enough. I know I still love you... I can feel that I still love you more than ever, but I don't know if I like you that much right now. Truth be told, I don't much like myself for doing this... or like myself at all right now. I'm going to be staying with my sister... the boys already know where they can reach me, and they're not worried or anything... well, at least they haven't said anything to me."
Billie stared at his wife and frowned. "You're leaving me?"
"Oh for hell no... Billie Joe I just couldn't. There's just a lot of things on my mind now and I think it's for the best that I figure some things out."
"But... I love you Adie... I can help with whatever... I want to help with whatever you need."
Adrienne finally looked up at her husband. "I know... but sometimes, we don't want anyone else's help... just are own."
Unable to keep any more space between himself and Adrienne, Billie rushed towards her and pressed her against his body, holding onto her and kissing her fiercely. "I'm always going to need you Adie... and love you and want to be with you... I want you to be happy, more than anything else in the world. I'll do whatever you ask... even if that includes letting you go for a moment."
Adrienne managed a small smile and then kissed Billie. "I love you so much Billie."
He smiled widely and entwined her hair in his fingers. "Don't stay away too long though... " he told her.
She looked at her husband and shook her head. "I promise."
As Billie Joe held Adrienne in his arms, he felt like shit. Adrienne, his stable source of empathy and security was walking out of the home that they had made together. Here he stood, when only hours ago, he was pinning on Mercedes and now here he found himself, holding onto his wife that was leaving him, even if for only temporary. Breathing in Adrienne's faint scent, it wasn't vanilla, but it was just enough to bring that familiar flutter in his stomach and throat. Looking down for only a moment, he saw a bag by her feet and closed his eyes. "I guess you want to leave now?"
Adrienne pulled away and looked to where Billie was looking. She frowned and nodded. "My sister is expecting me tonight... so I guess I'll be getting a move on."
As Adrienne leaned down to pick up her bag, Billie beat her to it and held her bag in his arms. "I may be a little shaken right now, but I'm still the man."
Adrienne smiled. "Are you?"
"I'm the only man," he joked as he let his fingers fall from where he was playing with her dark hair.
*
Mike rubbed his tired eyes as the sun poured into his room. His dark hair getting messier by the second, he licked his lips and looked into the mirror. Playing with his ever-growing hair for only a bit, he decided to leave it as it was. A little bed-head never hurt anyone.
Mike let his hands fall to his side and looked to his right. Mercedes was still asleep, silent and as beautiful as ten thousand angels. The sun shone against her face and her hair pooled all around, making a gold-like river across the pillow. Smiling down at her, he let his hand touch her lips and grinned to himself. "I love you," he whispered quietly.
"And you make too much damn noise when you wake up in the morning," she said in return, her eyes remaining closed.
"How did you know I was awake?" he asked her.
"You move around a lot."
Mike shook his head and then noticed something that had caught him off guard. "You took out your eyebrow ring?" he asked.
Mercedes turned to lie on her other side, snuggling into Mike and nodded. "I am getting older and I've had it for so long." There was a small pause to which neither of them moved or said anything. "And because Billie kept pulling at it."
Mike laughed, picturing his son innocently poking and pulling Mercedes' eyebrow ring. Lying back down, Mike wrapped his arms around her and held her against his body. "Do you think we'll have another boy?" he asked her.
"We better," she joked.
Mike smiled. "You'd prefer raising another boy?"
Mercedes nodded. "I prefer males... I lived with my father and brother for the most part of my life."
"Still though... I'd want a girl."
Mercedes, for the first time that day, opened her eyes and looked up at Mike with her sparkling green eyes. "Why?"
Mike kissed her pouty lips softly. "Because... it would only be fair to the human race to have another woman out there that looks like you... to be fair to all the males out there."
Mercedes snorted a laugh and shook her head. She pulled herself up and was lying on top of Mike now, only inches from his face. With her arms supporting her on either side of the bassist, she looked down at the only man that she'd marry. "You're too kind for your own good."
"So are you going to have to punish me then?" he teased.
Mercedes eyes glimmered for only a brief second. Before she could answer in a manner that would have definitely please Mike, someone else decided to come in. "Don't punish him mommy."
Mike and Mercedes looked over and saw Liam standing in the doorway. As Mercedes watched her little boy, she was truly amazed at how fast they would grow up. It did feel to her that only yesterday she was on her way to Alberta to sign some papers and bring the bundles of joy back to Vancouver with her. And as she watched Liam shuffled in the doorway of their bedroom, she couldn't help but notice the little mannerisms that he had learnt from Mike. He was as close as you can get to being Mike's own son, despite the differences in appearance.
Mercedes laughed. "I won't punish him Liam," she told him.
Liam's face burst into a grin and he leaped up onto the bed, but not before Mike muttered a 'damn' in Mercedes' ear. Hugging Liam tightly, Mercedes fell back down against the bed and sighed. "Daddy... is school hard?"
Mike looked at Liam and shook his head. "Naw... you'll like school."
"Did you?"
Mike's face tried to conceal the smile that was emerging. "Your mommy liked school," was all he could answer without laughing.
Liam looked between his two 'parents' and then back at Mike. "Could I just play music like you and not go to school?" he asked.
Mercedes ruffled Liam's hair. "No you can't. Only if you're really good like daddy. Apart from that, you're hitting the books."
Liam's face dropped and his shoulders hunched over in disappointment. "We had it all planned," he moped.
Mercedes tilted her head to get a better look at her son. "What planned?"
"Joey and I were gonna be like daddy and uncle Billie, and then our Billie could be like uncle Tre."
Mercedes and Mike exchanged glances and then looked back at Liam. "Wouldn't that be a sight," Mike added before moving to tickle Liam, eliciting quite a few giggles from the twin.
