The three little Punks and the Big Bad Hobo!, chapter 1
Once upon a time there were three little punks from California. They ventured the big music world to build their careers, homes and seek fame and fortune. The three little punks were in a band called 'Green Day.'
The first little punk Billie Joe Armstrong was the master of the Guitar. He did not like to work at all, but he liked to write lyrics and create music. He quickly built himself a fascinating house of... ... guitar strings. Once finished, he admired his amazing house of guitar strings bonded together. Billie Joe then took his skate board and strummed his guitar skating down the road to see the other little punk Tre Cool.
The second little punk was in fact building himself a house, too! Tre Cool was the talented Drummer of Green Day. He did not like work. In fact he hated work. He was just as lazy as Billie Joe. So, deciding to make himself a house he used his many Drum sticks he had from 'banging' the drums. (No pun intended!) and used them to create his masterpiece. It was quick. It was easy. It was made from Drum Sticks!
Soon it was finished! It was a very strong house! Tre decided to celebrate when he was done. Now he was free of work! He was free to do what he liked! And what did Tre like to do when he was free?!...'Blood, Sex and Booze' of course! Billie Joe soon arrived at Tre's house. Banging on his drums, Billie Joe played his guitar. And so they tooted away and sang. They soon got bored and called people over for a 'partay!'
Soon becoming intoxicated in their own idiotic ways  they began to sing and twist and turn. People were clapping them and they held hands in the middle of the room. They slurred and sang. Billie Joe started off the song, "I built my house of guitar strings". Tre hiccupped, "I built my house of drum sticks." They sang together, "With a hey diddle diddle, we fiddle fiddle fiddle and dance all kinds of jigs!" In laughing fits, the two joined hands and danced their way out of Tre's house down to the pub down the road.
While the two little punks were enjoying their little time down at the pub, the third little punk that made up the rest of the band Green Day, Mike Dirnt was sobre. He enjoyed his coffee more than anything and he played the Bass. He was building himself a house too! What a coincidence he loved his work unlike the other two 'partay' animals. Unlike the other two, he wanted to make a strong house putting time into his creation. So that's what Mike did. He made his house out of sturdy Coffee mugs. (The mugs were filled in the middle) almost looking like bricks and he used concrete to put them together. How clever!
Little did the three little punks know that far, far away in Texas lived a Big Bad Hobo. His plan was to join Green Day and destroy it from its very foundations.
Meanwhile back with Mike. Slip, slop slap went the pavers he used to make his house of coffee cups. He laid them out and smoothed them to perfection.
Billie Joe and Tre Cool walk down the road to see their band mate.
"Hahahaha look at Mikey" giggled Tre.
"Heh come and play with us Mike. You don't need to work." Said Billie Joe.
The busy little punk Mike looked at his fellow punks in disgust. He continued working on his long awaited and anticipated house of coffee mugs.
"I am building my house of coffee mugs so I have no time to work and play at the same time. Singing, dancing and playing at gigs is for after the hard yards are done. For me, play and work do not mix!" retorted Mike.
The other little punks just laughed at Mike.
"Whatever Dude!"
"Your loss!" laughed Tre.
The two lazy punks laughed and danced down the road.
"You can laugh and dance and sing al you want but I will be safe and you will be sorry when the big bad hobo comes to your door and hypnotizes you into his evil ways." He yelled after them. How did Mike know about the Big Bad Hobo wondered the narrator.
Somewhere in Texas, the Big bad Hobo was plotting his evil schemes. "Ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho!" he laughed to himself.
Billie Joe and Tre Cool were laughing their heads off as they skipped down the road to the Pub.
"Who afraid of the Big Bad Hobo,
The Big Bad Hobo, the Big Bad Hobo?
Who's afraid of the Big Bad Hobo?
Tra la la la la la - a - a -a!" they sang together.
Just as they reached the pub a shadow appeared and faced them. It was the Big Bad Hobo! Mind you Billie and Tre didn't know what or who the hobo was. They just knew that one was out to get and ruin them.
"Can we help you sir?" Billie asked the stranger who was obstructing their entrance into the Pub.
"Why yes. Yes you can. My name is Jason White and I want to join your band and destroy it. Mwahahahahaha!"
Tre squealed, "It's the Hobo!" clutching on Billie Joe's hand tightly.
"Correction... .I am the Big Bad Hobo!" he triumphed into the air with his fists doing a ridiculous dance.
"Nice to meet you Hobo but we will be going. Come on Tre!"
Billie pulls Tre with him and they run and run all the way to Billie Joe's house of Guitar strings. Billie pulls Tre into the house and slams the wooden door. (The wooden door is the only thing not made from guitar strings.)
"We showed him!" said Billie. Billie did not know that he spoke too soon. There was a knock at the door.
"Little Punks, little Punks, let me come in!" cried the Hobo.
"Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chins!" said Billie Joe.
"Then I will huff and I'll puff and blow your house in!"
"Are you kidding me?" responded Billie Joe.
"Why would I be?"
"You can't blow someone's house down! It is not right!"
"Watch me" hissed the Hobo. The hobo took in one huge breathe and blew out knocking the pretty house of guitar strings down. The house was blown to pieces.
Billie and Tre ran like crazy all the way to Tre's house. It was stronger than Billie's. There was no way that this house would be blown down as it was made from Drum Sticks! No sooner was there a knock at the door. It was the Big bad Hobo! Naturally the little punks would not let him in.
"I will fool those little punks" said the Big Bad Hobo to himself. He left the Tre's house and hid behind a tree. Soon the little punks opened the house of drum sticks and the two little punks peeked out. There was no sign of the Hobo. He was nowhere to be seen. They went back inside and they laughed and sang:
"Who afraid of the Big Bad Hobo,
The Big Bad Hobo, the Big Bad Hobo?
Who's afraid of the Big Bad Hobo?
Tra la la la la la - a - a -a!"
Soon there came another knock at the door. It was the Big Bad Hobo... .again. Little did Billie Joe and Tre know that in fact the Hobo had disguised himself as a rich and sophisticated person.
"Who is there?" called Tre.
Jason responded. "Could you please help me? I have run away from home and have no where to go. I hate my family. Rich snobs they are. Could I possibly stay the night? Please open the door and let me in!" he commanded.
Tre peeked through a crack of the door, (this door was made of big drum sticks.) He saw the outline of the rich person and then saw a little of his face and then down to his feet. It was the Hobo! Tre was not fooled!
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin! Hey that sounded cool!" said the younger punk Tre.
Billie saw where Tre was coming from, "Yeh, you can't fool us with that ridiculous disguise!" he responded angrily.
"Well then. You know its me. I see. I will huff and ill... ."
Tre cut him off. "Yeh we know dude, you will blow my house down!"
Billie hit Tre over the head, "Idiot! Don't encourage him!"
"Opps!" said Tre with sorrow.
Poof... .the wolf blew the house down and Billie and Tre went with it. Those poor little helpless defend less punks. The house of Drum sticks was blown to pieces. Away raced the little punks straight to Mike's house of coffee mugs. Maybe they would be safe there? They knocked on Mikes door. He looked at them confused.
"Something up?"
Billie caught his breath. "Can we come in? Its urgent!"
Mike ushered the two punks into his humble home. Lucky he had finished it in time! He told them to sit on the couch.
"Alright whats the matter?" Mike asked all concerned.
"The Hobo wants us!" squealed Tre. "He blew our houses down. And... "
Billie finished Tre's sentence. "And we got no where to go!"
Mike responded, "Don't worry, you will be safe here."
"My beloved Drum sticks!" cried Tre.
"Hey it will be alright. He can't get us in here." Mike reassured them. He went to the fridge and got a couple of beers to cheer them up. "How about we sing or play a song or something?" he said trying to cheer them up. Billie and Tre nodded and they soon started to get drunk and play songs.
The Big Bad Hobo made his way to Mike's house. He knocked on the door.
"Little punks, please let me in!"
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!" yelled a furious Mike.
"Grrr you will all pay. If I cannot join the band and destroy it then I will force my way in. I will huff and puff and blow our house in!"
Mike laughed. "And tell me how you will manage that?"
"Like this!" So the Big Bad Hobo stood back and straightened up arching his back and he huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed but he could not blow the house down. How could he get in? At last he saw something. He saw the chimney! Of course he could get in through the chimney. He thought he was so smart. So he climbed the house quietly. Then with a snarl he jumped down it. Little did he know that Green Day were ready for him and had a kettle of boiling hot water ready for the intrusion!
"Yaheeeeoowwwwwwww! Fuck! Ouch!" he jumped up the chimney with a yelp of pain and sprang down the side of the house and raced off never to be seen again. Well not exactly but I will tell you about that in a little while.
Anyway the three little punks of Green Day lived in the house. They would dance sing and play. They played that night away and got drunk. Tre retrieved his collection of drum sticks and Billie Joe his guitar strings and auctioned them off on EBay when they became more famous in the future.
Now back to Jason, the Big Bad Hobo! He years later joined Green Day not as a member but as an employee. And no one knows to this day that he was the Hobo all those many years ago when they were young Punks. Not anyone... ..except for me! Tee hee!
"Hey Billie Joe!" asked Tre.
"Yeh?"
"Do you remember that Hobo?"
"Yeh, why?"
"Just remembering that crazy day. You know what if the hobo did join us and all. It would be weird not been where we are."
"You are a funny one Tre. Come on, let me buy you a drink."
The two punks trodded off then Billie Joe wondered... . "What if the Hobo did join us?"
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
The first little punk Billie Joe Armstrong was the master of the Guitar. He did not like to work at all, but he liked to write lyrics and create music. He quickly built himself a fascinating house of... ... guitar strings. Once finished, he admired his amazing house of guitar strings bonded together. Billie Joe then took his skate board and strummed his guitar skating down the road to see the other little punk Tre Cool.
The second little punk was in fact building himself a house, too! Tre Cool was the talented Drummer of Green Day. He did not like work. In fact he hated work. He was just as lazy as Billie Joe. So, deciding to make himself a house he used his many Drum sticks he had from 'banging' the drums. (No pun intended!) and used them to create his masterpiece. It was quick. It was easy. It was made from Drum Sticks!
Soon it was finished! It was a very strong house! Tre decided to celebrate when he was done. Now he was free of work! He was free to do what he liked! And what did Tre like to do when he was free?!...'Blood, Sex and Booze' of course! Billie Joe soon arrived at Tre's house. Banging on his drums, Billie Joe played his guitar. And so they tooted away and sang. They soon got bored and called people over for a 'partay!'
Soon becoming intoxicated in their own idiotic ways  they began to sing and twist and turn. People were clapping them and they held hands in the middle of the room. They slurred and sang. Billie Joe started off the song, "I built my house of guitar strings". Tre hiccupped, "I built my house of drum sticks." They sang together, "With a hey diddle diddle, we fiddle fiddle fiddle and dance all kinds of jigs!" In laughing fits, the two joined hands and danced their way out of Tre's house down to the pub down the road.
While the two little punks were enjoying their little time down at the pub, the third little punk that made up the rest of the band Green Day, Mike Dirnt was sobre. He enjoyed his coffee more than anything and he played the Bass. He was building himself a house too! What a coincidence he loved his work unlike the other two 'partay' animals. Unlike the other two, he wanted to make a strong house putting time into his creation. So that's what Mike did. He made his house out of sturdy Coffee mugs. (The mugs were filled in the middle) almost looking like bricks and he used concrete to put them together. How clever!
Little did the three little punks know that far, far away in Texas lived a Big Bad Hobo. His plan was to join Green Day and destroy it from its very foundations.
Meanwhile back with Mike. Slip, slop slap went the pavers he used to make his house of coffee cups. He laid them out and smoothed them to perfection.
Billie Joe and Tre Cool walk down the road to see their band mate.
"Hahahaha look at Mikey" giggled Tre.
"Heh come and play with us Mike. You don't need to work." Said Billie Joe.
The busy little punk Mike looked at his fellow punks in disgust. He continued working on his long awaited and anticipated house of coffee mugs.
"I am building my house of coffee mugs so I have no time to work and play at the same time. Singing, dancing and playing at gigs is for after the hard yards are done. For me, play and work do not mix!" retorted Mike.
The other little punks just laughed at Mike.
"Whatever Dude!"
"Your loss!" laughed Tre.
The two lazy punks laughed and danced down the road.
"You can laugh and dance and sing al you want but I will be safe and you will be sorry when the big bad hobo comes to your door and hypnotizes you into his evil ways." He yelled after them. How did Mike know about the Big Bad Hobo wondered the narrator.
Somewhere in Texas, the Big bad Hobo was plotting his evil schemes. "Ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho!" he laughed to himself.
Billie Joe and Tre Cool were laughing their heads off as they skipped down the road to the Pub.
"Who afraid of the Big Bad Hobo,
The Big Bad Hobo, the Big Bad Hobo?
Who's afraid of the Big Bad Hobo?
Tra la la la la la - a - a -a!" they sang together.
Just as they reached the pub a shadow appeared and faced them. It was the Big Bad Hobo! Mind you Billie and Tre didn't know what or who the hobo was. They just knew that one was out to get and ruin them.
"Can we help you sir?" Billie asked the stranger who was obstructing their entrance into the Pub.
"Why yes. Yes you can. My name is Jason White and I want to join your band and destroy it. Mwahahahahaha!"
Tre squealed, "It's the Hobo!" clutching on Billie Joe's hand tightly.
"Correction... .I am the Big Bad Hobo!" he triumphed into the air with his fists doing a ridiculous dance.
"Nice to meet you Hobo but we will be going. Come on Tre!"
Billie pulls Tre with him and they run and run all the way to Billie Joe's house of Guitar strings. Billie pulls Tre into the house and slams the wooden door. (The wooden door is the only thing not made from guitar strings.)
"We showed him!" said Billie. Billie did not know that he spoke too soon. There was a knock at the door.
"Little Punks, little Punks, let me come in!" cried the Hobo.
"Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chins!" said Billie Joe.
"Then I will huff and I'll puff and blow your house in!"
"Are you kidding me?" responded Billie Joe.
"Why would I be?"
"You can't blow someone's house down! It is not right!"
"Watch me" hissed the Hobo. The hobo took in one huge breathe and blew out knocking the pretty house of guitar strings down. The house was blown to pieces.
Billie and Tre ran like crazy all the way to Tre's house. It was stronger than Billie's. There was no way that this house would be blown down as it was made from Drum Sticks! No sooner was there a knock at the door. It was the Big bad Hobo! Naturally the little punks would not let him in.
"I will fool those little punks" said the Big Bad Hobo to himself. He left the Tre's house and hid behind a tree. Soon the little punks opened the house of drum sticks and the two little punks peeked out. There was no sign of the Hobo. He was nowhere to be seen. They went back inside and they laughed and sang:
"Who afraid of the Big Bad Hobo,
The Big Bad Hobo, the Big Bad Hobo?
Who's afraid of the Big Bad Hobo?
Tra la la la la la - a - a -a!"
Soon there came another knock at the door. It was the Big Bad Hobo... .again. Little did Billie Joe and Tre know that in fact the Hobo had disguised himself as a rich and sophisticated person.
"Who is there?" called Tre.
Jason responded. "Could you please help me? I have run away from home and have no where to go. I hate my family. Rich snobs they are. Could I possibly stay the night? Please open the door and let me in!" he commanded.
Tre peeked through a crack of the door, (this door was made of big drum sticks.) He saw the outline of the rich person and then saw a little of his face and then down to his feet. It was the Hobo! Tre was not fooled!
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin! Hey that sounded cool!" said the younger punk Tre.
Billie saw where Tre was coming from, "Yeh, you can't fool us with that ridiculous disguise!" he responded angrily.
"Well then. You know its me. I see. I will huff and ill... ."
Tre cut him off. "Yeh we know dude, you will blow my house down!"
Billie hit Tre over the head, "Idiot! Don't encourage him!"
"Opps!" said Tre with sorrow.
Poof... .the wolf blew the house down and Billie and Tre went with it. Those poor little helpless defend less punks. The house of Drum sticks was blown to pieces. Away raced the little punks straight to Mike's house of coffee mugs. Maybe they would be safe there? They knocked on Mikes door. He looked at them confused.
"Something up?"
Billie caught his breath. "Can we come in? Its urgent!"
Mike ushered the two punks into his humble home. Lucky he had finished it in time! He told them to sit on the couch.
"Alright whats the matter?" Mike asked all concerned.
"The Hobo wants us!" squealed Tre. "He blew our houses down. And... "
Billie finished Tre's sentence. "And we got no where to go!"
Mike responded, "Don't worry, you will be safe here."
"My beloved Drum sticks!" cried Tre.
"Hey it will be alright. He can't get us in here." Mike reassured them. He went to the fridge and got a couple of beers to cheer them up. "How about we sing or play a song or something?" he said trying to cheer them up. Billie and Tre nodded and they soon started to get drunk and play songs.
The Big Bad Hobo made his way to Mike's house. He knocked on the door.
"Little punks, please let me in!"
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!" yelled a furious Mike.
"Grrr you will all pay. If I cannot join the band and destroy it then I will force my way in. I will huff and puff and blow our house in!"
Mike laughed. "And tell me how you will manage that?"
"Like this!" So the Big Bad Hobo stood back and straightened up arching his back and he huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed but he could not blow the house down. How could he get in? At last he saw something. He saw the chimney! Of course he could get in through the chimney. He thought he was so smart. So he climbed the house quietly. Then with a snarl he jumped down it. Little did he know that Green Day were ready for him and had a kettle of boiling hot water ready for the intrusion!
"Yaheeeeoowwwwwwww! Fuck! Ouch!" he jumped up the chimney with a yelp of pain and sprang down the side of the house and raced off never to be seen again. Well not exactly but I will tell you about that in a little while.
Anyway the three little punks of Green Day lived in the house. They would dance sing and play. They played that night away and got drunk. Tre retrieved his collection of drum sticks and Billie Joe his guitar strings and auctioned them off on EBay when they became more famous in the future.
Now back to Jason, the Big Bad Hobo! He years later joined Green Day not as a member but as an employee. And no one knows to this day that he was the Hobo all those many years ago when they were young Punks. Not anyone... ..except for me! Tee hee!
"Hey Billie Joe!" asked Tre.
"Yeh?"
"Do you remember that Hobo?"
"Yeh, why?"
"Just remembering that crazy day. You know what if the hobo did join us and all. It would be weird not been where we are."
"You are a funny one Tre. Come on, let me buy you a drink."
The two punks trodded off then Billie Joe wondered... . "What if the Hobo did join us?"
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
