Victoria-Vampire Girl, chapter 1
I can't take this anymore. I can't take all this pain, all this anger, all these feelings swelling up without a release. I just can't stand being...this. No-one will understand. Not ever. They have no idea-never have, never will. But every action has a cause and every action has a purpose. So I step out of the light and seek the shade of my living room. And I am me again. I am what I was born to be. Although sometimes it gets too much and I place myself where I could easily break...and that would be the end. The end of this, the end of this beast inside of me. But each time I realise it does no good and it's not worth it. So I return indoors and bury the pain inside and stay silent. I glance in the mirror, hoping to see a change. No change. My hair is still long, wavy and ginger, flowing down to my shoulder blades. My eyes are still a vivid green, and wondrously, I haven't smudged my pink eyeshadow everywhere. I brush several snowflakes of my cream dress and stand in the window, hoping no cars drive past or no walkers seek refuge here. Normally they don't. But whenever a car breaks down, whenever someone's stupid enough to walk up this goddamn hill in the middle of a blizzard, they all come here. It's the only handicap this place has got. Being the only place for miles is both good and bad at the same time. Tonight is one of those nights. When a walker is stranded and can't get back down. Only this time it's not one single person-it's several. Six to be exact. And it's not some random strangers either. I thought I saw the dude with the black hair before. They look like they're having an argument-they're divided on something. On one side there's a tall blonde dude, a guy with longish brown hair and glasses and some smallish guy with auburn hair and green eyes-my eyesight is getting better now I'm indoors again. On the other 'side' is a guy with longish black hair and another guy with shoulder-length black hair. The other one is just jumping around in the snow, making snow-angles and shit. The blonde one shouts something to him, but he carries on. The one with the green eyes pulls his cell phone out, but there's no signal on this hill. God I gotta get a better place to hide. He throws it on the ground and grinds it into the snow. He walks down the road, and the other two follow him. The two with the black hair shrug, turn their heels and march towards my front door. The mad one stays in the snow. My heart pumps in my chest, pounding against my ribs, squeezing my lungs so I breathe faster, and a bead of sweat trickles down my forehead, dribbling across my cheek before falling off my chin. I wipe it off, and wait for the knocks on the door (the doorbell packed in years ago and I can't be bothered to do anything about it). They don't come, and I creep to the window, daring to find out why. It turns out that the smallish mad one threw a snowball at the dude with girlie hair. They started a snowball fight, and I'm grateful for the diversion. I scrabble around frantically, cleaning up a little, hiding my drugs and booze and shit. They'd probably be disgusted at it. I've done pretty much everything-pot, speed, e, you name it. I managed to get hold of that CIA produced one-bz. It's awesomeness in a little bit of paper. Like acid but loads stronger...three days, three whole pleasure filled days...anyway, I'm grateful for the diversion. That mad one is probably a kid or something. Damn, I forgot the kitchen! Too late now, they're marching to the door again. There they are. Three blunt raps.
"Hello?"
I walk to the door, and reluctantly pull it open.
"Um, we were in the neighbourhood, when this blizzard struck and I was wondering if you had a spare room for us to sleep in... " the one with the long hair smiles.
"You'd need a room with a lock for Tre though" says the other one.
"Who's-"
"I'm Tre" the mad one grabs my hand and shakes it.
"I'm Gerard and this is Frankie" The one with shoulder-length hair points to himself then to the other dude who turns out to be Frank Iero.
"Well, I guess you better come in. It's cold out" I say, smiling weakly. It's not cold out- it's near goddamn freezing. But my senses are more acute than theirs.
"Wow, nice place you got" Gerard comments. I notice that his eyes lurk on the cabinet a little too long, but I let it go. He doesn't suspect. I don't think. I push the thought out of my mind, and turn to Frankie, who's trying (and failing) to drag him away from the suit of armour. God knows what he has in mind.
"Tre, get off damnit!" he says, pulling Tre's arms back. Tre leans forward and tries to bite it, but he gets nothing but empty air. I giggle at him. On impulse I look at Gerard, who's laughing too. His eyes look into mine and we both stop. He looks a little lost for a second, then smiles. I smile back, and hastily go into the kitchen. I grab the mirror and examine my eyes. They look normal. That's good. When Gerard looked at me, I swore they went red, but they obviously didn't. Then before I go back into the living room, I shove the mirror, a shot glass and an unused syringe into a drawer, and throw a load of used ones into a plastic bag. Then I open the back door, and throw the bag out. When I turn round, Gerard is in the doorway. I blush a little, then grin stupidly. He smiles.
"Um, are you gonna get some food or something? I'm starving, and I'm pretty sure the other two are"
"Yeah, I think I will"
I fumble around in the drawers for something edible.
"Tomato soup okay?" I ask, holding up the can.
"Yeah I guess" he shrugs.
"Pass me a pan then"
He looks confused and lost again.
"In that drawer over there" I gesture to the set of drawers in the far corner.
"Bottom one" I say, as he opens the top drawer. He freezes. I guess he's seen the stuff I shoved in there earlier. Oh well, must be thankful for the delay at least. He shakes his head after a while, then closes the drawer and gets a pan out of the bottom.
"This one?"
"That one"
I take the pan off him, put it on the hob and empty the tin into it.
"Thanks for taking us in. Not many people would"
"You're welcome. What happened to your friends?"
"Oh, you mean Billie Joe, Mike and Mikey? Billie Joe wanted to go back into town, said it wasn't fair on you. That and he wanted to see his family. Mike wanted to see his kid and Mikey just thought it wasn't fair"
"Oh. So you thought it was okay then?"
"No, we just thought it'd be suicide to go down the hill in this"
"Ha. You're not as dumb as you look"
"Hey! That was uncalled for!" he pushes my shoulder lightly.
"You know, you're so nice to us. I don't even know your name" he says.
What is my name? I don't even know my name, that's how long it's been. Before I get a chance to reply though, there's a crash from the living room. Sound like Tre got his hands on the armour after all. We go into the living room, to find Tre climbing on the curtain rail, the armour in a pile on the floor. Frankie is yelling and trying to get him down.
"Tre! Tre! Tre!"
On the last 'Tre!' Frankie pulls Tre backwards and he lands on his back, with a satisfied Tre sitting on top of him.
"Thanks for breaking my fall Frankie boy!" Tre laughs and stands up.
"So...what's cooking?" he says
"Uh, tomato soup" I say as Frankie stands up.
"Your tube work?" he says. When I don't understand he gestures at the TV.
"Yeah. It's not so good in this weather though"
"Oh right...so, what'd we do for entertainment?"
I shrug. I don't really do anything for entertainment. I don't have chance to think about entertainment.
"Um... I dunno, I read or write when I'm bored... "
"Hey, um...whatsyername, the soup's ready!" Gerard calls.
"Yeah, what is your name anyway?" Frankie says, slumping on the red velour sofa and looking up at me.
"My name's... " I glance around the room, scanning for possible names. I spot one on an old book covered with dust. They won't be able to read it through the dust, good thing.
"Elizabeth. Elizabeth Anhalya" I say hurriedly. Over in the doorway, I thought Gerard shook his head slightly. I smile at him and walk over to the kitchen. He moves out of the way so I can get in. Then he shuts the door and smiles. I smile back and pull some dishes out of the cupboard. That's when it happened. I felt a sudden twinge in my mouth. Damnit, I thought I might just get away with it this time. My face must've shown some expression of pain because Gerard proceeds to ask,
"You alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine" I lie.
"No you're not" he says. He moves closer to me and leans on the counter.
"Yeah I am, Gerard. I'm fine"
I turn to get the pan, but he grabs my chin and examines my eyes.
Damnit.
"I knew it" He smiles weirdly, sorta twisted and evil, then sorta happy. Confusing guy.
"Knew what?" I ask innocently.
"You're one of them aren't you?" he lets go of my jaw, but still gazes into my eyes. I massage the spots where his fingers squeezed.
"One of what?"
"You know what I mean. The living dead. A creature of the night"
I continue to look puzzled.
"I don't know-"
"A vampire then"
"I think you're mistaken"
He grabs my chin again, his face is angry and his fingers squeeze more than last time.
"No I'm not" I say, I can't talk very easily.
"Yes you are" He the same weird smile.
"Prove it" I spit.
"Your eyes. Your eyes flashed red. You don't know your own name. Before when you were getting the dishes, your fangs grew didn't they?"
"So what? No-one'll believe you"
"No, but I will"
He lets go just in time because Frankie appears in the doorway.
"Hey, um, your tube isn't working and Tre attacked it with the armour. And is dinner ready? I'm starving"
I'm starving too. Though for what he'll never understand. My fangs are sore and aching, my eyes are probably red too. I turn to face the wall, Gerard seemingly understands.
"Yeah, we're dishing up now" he says. Frankie nods in approval and closes the door behind him. Gerard grabs my jaw again.
"Ow man, could ya quit doin' that?"
"If you dare try and turn them I'll kill you, you understand me?" he hisses through gritted teeth.
I open my mouth as if I was going to say something but words fail me. Instead I just spit in his eye.
"You little vampire bitch!" he lets go and wipes his eye.
"Get over it already" I turn back to the counter and start ladling the soup into bowls.
"I'm sorry. I overreacted"
"You can say that again" I snort.
"I'm sorry, I overreacted"
I smile, and I sense he does too.
"Here, take those to Frankie and Tre"
"Right ma'am"
I don't get why he's suddenly being really nice about it. I stop and wonder for a while, then there's a crash from the living room, and I'm pulled out of my thoughts. Gerard appears in the doorway. He looks...flustered.
"Tre and Frankie are wrestling if you're wondering what's going on" he says.
"Idiots" I mutter and stride into the other room.
Tre and Frankie are battling it out in the centre of the room. Tre appears to be winning as he has Frankie in a headlock.
"What the hell d'ya think this is? WWE?!" I yell, grabbing their collars and marching towards the door. Gerard opens it for me, and I throw them outside.
"Hey! No fair!" Tre complains as I shut it behind them.
"Man, they've gotta learn to grow up" I sigh.
"Well, you don't have to live with Frankie. Nor do you hang around with Tre, so count yourself lucky" Gerard sits in a chair and helps himself to Frankie's soup.
I sit on the sofa, and don't eat anything. When Gerard finishes, he takes his bowl away, then sits down again.
"So...what's it like being a vampire?" he asks casually, resting his head on his right hand.
"Suckish" I say, and he laughs a little.
"Yeah, but there's gotta be something good about it"
I think for a moment, considering all the pros and cons of vampirism.
"Well, I don't need to worry about being old and wrinkly"
"I guess not, you're immortal right? So how old are you? Two hundred, three hundred, I'm guessing you're not-" He gestures for my age.
"Sixteen and a half. I was sixteen and a half when I was...turned"
"What's your real name then? I'm guessing it's not Elizabeth Anhalya"
"How do you know that?"
"Because I read her books too"
"Oh...right...um, I dunno... "
I try to remember, but it's all in vain. I remember when my parents were alive and they used to call me down to dinner every night. If I didn't go down the first time of telling, my father would hit me with my grandfather's cane.
"Well, do you have any schoolbooks or anything?"
"I never went to school. Girls didn't go to school, well, I didn't anyway. My father thought there was no point as I'd never get a job because women were considered decent for cooking, cleaning and squeezing out babies and not much else"
"Oh, right. Birth certificate? Anything, you know"
"I think my birth certificate is in that cabinet" I point to the polished oak cabinet in the corner. Gerard goes over and rummages around. When he finds it, he reads it himself, then reads it to me. I'm not stupid, I can read, even though I taught myself to.
"You are... Victoria Alberta Windsor. You were born on the fifth of December, 1897. That makes you... " he pauses as he does the math.
"One hundred and seven"
"Well, happy birthday to me" I say, rather unexcitedly.
"You're birthday's next week" he comments, and places it back in the cabinet.
"What're you gonna do?"
"Jack shit" I say, and relax a little.
"Well, I suppose if you want, me and the boys, Frankie, Tre, and everyone, we could throw a party for you if you want"
"Not a good idea Gerry. Vampires that haven't fed for years + a large group of people = not a good idea, a massacre would happen"
"I understand"
"Do you? Do you know how hard it is? Do you know what it's like to be hungry for something you can't have? Do you Gerard? No. So don't even try to understand, don't even go there"
"Sorry. But... "
"But what?"
Man, I'm irritable today. I gotta chill out, pronto.
"If you fed before...you could have one right?" he asks nervously.
"What are you trying to say? And why are you so obsessed with me having a birthday party anyway? Who would come?"
"I want you to turn me" he says, and when he does he looks right into my eyes.
"Hello?"
I walk to the door, and reluctantly pull it open.
"Um, we were in the neighbourhood, when this blizzard struck and I was wondering if you had a spare room for us to sleep in... " the one with the long hair smiles.
"You'd need a room with a lock for Tre though" says the other one.
"Who's-"
"I'm Tre" the mad one grabs my hand and shakes it.
"I'm Gerard and this is Frankie" The one with shoulder-length hair points to himself then to the other dude who turns out to be Frank Iero.
"Well, I guess you better come in. It's cold out" I say, smiling weakly. It's not cold out- it's near goddamn freezing. But my senses are more acute than theirs.
"Wow, nice place you got" Gerard comments. I notice that his eyes lurk on the cabinet a little too long, but I let it go. He doesn't suspect. I don't think. I push the thought out of my mind, and turn to Frankie, who's trying (and failing) to drag him away from the suit of armour. God knows what he has in mind.
"Tre, get off damnit!" he says, pulling Tre's arms back. Tre leans forward and tries to bite it, but he gets nothing but empty air. I giggle at him. On impulse I look at Gerard, who's laughing too. His eyes look into mine and we both stop. He looks a little lost for a second, then smiles. I smile back, and hastily go into the kitchen. I grab the mirror and examine my eyes. They look normal. That's good. When Gerard looked at me, I swore they went red, but they obviously didn't. Then before I go back into the living room, I shove the mirror, a shot glass and an unused syringe into a drawer, and throw a load of used ones into a plastic bag. Then I open the back door, and throw the bag out. When I turn round, Gerard is in the doorway. I blush a little, then grin stupidly. He smiles.
"Um, are you gonna get some food or something? I'm starving, and I'm pretty sure the other two are"
"Yeah, I think I will"
I fumble around in the drawers for something edible.
"Tomato soup okay?" I ask, holding up the can.
"Yeah I guess" he shrugs.
"Pass me a pan then"
He looks confused and lost again.
"In that drawer over there" I gesture to the set of drawers in the far corner.
"Bottom one" I say, as he opens the top drawer. He freezes. I guess he's seen the stuff I shoved in there earlier. Oh well, must be thankful for the delay at least. He shakes his head after a while, then closes the drawer and gets a pan out of the bottom.
"This one?"
"That one"
I take the pan off him, put it on the hob and empty the tin into it.
"Thanks for taking us in. Not many people would"
"You're welcome. What happened to your friends?"
"Oh, you mean Billie Joe, Mike and Mikey? Billie Joe wanted to go back into town, said it wasn't fair on you. That and he wanted to see his family. Mike wanted to see his kid and Mikey just thought it wasn't fair"
"Oh. So you thought it was okay then?"
"No, we just thought it'd be suicide to go down the hill in this"
"Ha. You're not as dumb as you look"
"Hey! That was uncalled for!" he pushes my shoulder lightly.
"You know, you're so nice to us. I don't even know your name" he says.
What is my name? I don't even know my name, that's how long it's been. Before I get a chance to reply though, there's a crash from the living room. Sound like Tre got his hands on the armour after all. We go into the living room, to find Tre climbing on the curtain rail, the armour in a pile on the floor. Frankie is yelling and trying to get him down.
"Tre! Tre! Tre!"
On the last 'Tre!' Frankie pulls Tre backwards and he lands on his back, with a satisfied Tre sitting on top of him.
"Thanks for breaking my fall Frankie boy!" Tre laughs and stands up.
"So...what's cooking?" he says
"Uh, tomato soup" I say as Frankie stands up.
"Your tube work?" he says. When I don't understand he gestures at the TV.
"Yeah. It's not so good in this weather though"
"Oh right...so, what'd we do for entertainment?"
I shrug. I don't really do anything for entertainment. I don't have chance to think about entertainment.
"Um... I dunno, I read or write when I'm bored... "
"Hey, um...whatsyername, the soup's ready!" Gerard calls.
"Yeah, what is your name anyway?" Frankie says, slumping on the red velour sofa and looking up at me.
"My name's... " I glance around the room, scanning for possible names. I spot one on an old book covered with dust. They won't be able to read it through the dust, good thing.
"Elizabeth. Elizabeth Anhalya" I say hurriedly. Over in the doorway, I thought Gerard shook his head slightly. I smile at him and walk over to the kitchen. He moves out of the way so I can get in. Then he shuts the door and smiles. I smile back and pull some dishes out of the cupboard. That's when it happened. I felt a sudden twinge in my mouth. Damnit, I thought I might just get away with it this time. My face must've shown some expression of pain because Gerard proceeds to ask,
"You alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine" I lie.
"No you're not" he says. He moves closer to me and leans on the counter.
"Yeah I am, Gerard. I'm fine"
I turn to get the pan, but he grabs my chin and examines my eyes.
Damnit.
"I knew it" He smiles weirdly, sorta twisted and evil, then sorta happy. Confusing guy.
"Knew what?" I ask innocently.
"You're one of them aren't you?" he lets go of my jaw, but still gazes into my eyes. I massage the spots where his fingers squeezed.
"One of what?"
"You know what I mean. The living dead. A creature of the night"
I continue to look puzzled.
"I don't know-"
"A vampire then"
"I think you're mistaken"
He grabs my chin again, his face is angry and his fingers squeeze more than last time.
"No I'm not" I say, I can't talk very easily.
"Yes you are" He the same weird smile.
"Prove it" I spit.
"Your eyes. Your eyes flashed red. You don't know your own name. Before when you were getting the dishes, your fangs grew didn't they?"
"So what? No-one'll believe you"
"No, but I will"
He lets go just in time because Frankie appears in the doorway.
"Hey, um, your tube isn't working and Tre attacked it with the armour. And is dinner ready? I'm starving"
I'm starving too. Though for what he'll never understand. My fangs are sore and aching, my eyes are probably red too. I turn to face the wall, Gerard seemingly understands.
"Yeah, we're dishing up now" he says. Frankie nods in approval and closes the door behind him. Gerard grabs my jaw again.
"Ow man, could ya quit doin' that?"
"If you dare try and turn them I'll kill you, you understand me?" he hisses through gritted teeth.
I open my mouth as if I was going to say something but words fail me. Instead I just spit in his eye.
"You little vampire bitch!" he lets go and wipes his eye.
"Get over it already" I turn back to the counter and start ladling the soup into bowls.
"I'm sorry. I overreacted"
"You can say that again" I snort.
"I'm sorry, I overreacted"
I smile, and I sense he does too.
"Here, take those to Frankie and Tre"
"Right ma'am"
I don't get why he's suddenly being really nice about it. I stop and wonder for a while, then there's a crash from the living room, and I'm pulled out of my thoughts. Gerard appears in the doorway. He looks...flustered.
"Tre and Frankie are wrestling if you're wondering what's going on" he says.
"Idiots" I mutter and stride into the other room.
Tre and Frankie are battling it out in the centre of the room. Tre appears to be winning as he has Frankie in a headlock.
"What the hell d'ya think this is? WWE?!" I yell, grabbing their collars and marching towards the door. Gerard opens it for me, and I throw them outside.
"Hey! No fair!" Tre complains as I shut it behind them.
"Man, they've gotta learn to grow up" I sigh.
"Well, you don't have to live with Frankie. Nor do you hang around with Tre, so count yourself lucky" Gerard sits in a chair and helps himself to Frankie's soup.
I sit on the sofa, and don't eat anything. When Gerard finishes, he takes his bowl away, then sits down again.
"So...what's it like being a vampire?" he asks casually, resting his head on his right hand.
"Suckish" I say, and he laughs a little.
"Yeah, but there's gotta be something good about it"
I think for a moment, considering all the pros and cons of vampirism.
"Well, I don't need to worry about being old and wrinkly"
"I guess not, you're immortal right? So how old are you? Two hundred, three hundred, I'm guessing you're not-" He gestures for my age.
"Sixteen and a half. I was sixteen and a half when I was...turned"
"What's your real name then? I'm guessing it's not Elizabeth Anhalya"
"How do you know that?"
"Because I read her books too"
"Oh...right...um, I dunno... "
I try to remember, but it's all in vain. I remember when my parents were alive and they used to call me down to dinner every night. If I didn't go down the first time of telling, my father would hit me with my grandfather's cane.
"Well, do you have any schoolbooks or anything?"
"I never went to school. Girls didn't go to school, well, I didn't anyway. My father thought there was no point as I'd never get a job because women were considered decent for cooking, cleaning and squeezing out babies and not much else"
"Oh, right. Birth certificate? Anything, you know"
"I think my birth certificate is in that cabinet" I point to the polished oak cabinet in the corner. Gerard goes over and rummages around. When he finds it, he reads it himself, then reads it to me. I'm not stupid, I can read, even though I taught myself to.
"You are... Victoria Alberta Windsor. You were born on the fifth of December, 1897. That makes you... " he pauses as he does the math.
"One hundred and seven"
"Well, happy birthday to me" I say, rather unexcitedly.
"You're birthday's next week" he comments, and places it back in the cabinet.
"What're you gonna do?"
"Jack shit" I say, and relax a little.
"Well, I suppose if you want, me and the boys, Frankie, Tre, and everyone, we could throw a party for you if you want"
"Not a good idea Gerry. Vampires that haven't fed for years + a large group of people = not a good idea, a massacre would happen"
"I understand"
"Do you? Do you know how hard it is? Do you know what it's like to be hungry for something you can't have? Do you Gerard? No. So don't even try to understand, don't even go there"
"Sorry. But... "
"But what?"
Man, I'm irritable today. I gotta chill out, pronto.
"If you fed before...you could have one right?" he asks nervously.
"What are you trying to say? And why are you so obsessed with me having a birthday party anyway? Who would come?"
"I want you to turn me" he says, and when he does he looks right into my eyes.
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