My American Idiots, chapter 10

"Welcome, class," sighed the Arts teacher quietly, looking around her large, spacious classroom. Taking in the students and her unique seating plan of bean-bags and li-lo sofas, around which tables, easels and other art supplies were scattered. "To the Arts. This term is a free-spirited one. You may choose any principal of the Arts that beckons to you. But be warned, this is still an assessed class. Any marks you receive in this class go towards your final grades. You must choose your project for the term wisely, as you will not be allowed to change it until next term, if you so choose. You have this session to deliberate on your project. Begin."

"Dude," Jess laughed quietly with her friends. "This teacher is more of a space cadet than Trè!"

"Yeah. Hey!" Trè turned to Jess as the others laughed quietly. "I'm so under appreciated!" he said sarcastically.

"Oh, go have a cry!" Jess laughed. Trè put his head down on the desk and imitated someone sobbing violently.

"Are you alright, my child?" the wispy Arts teacher's voiced floated over as she placed her hands on Trè's shoulders. He cried louder as the others staved off laughter.

"He'll be okay, Miss," Mike said, with the straightest possible face. "He's just a little overwhelmed by the aura of the classroom." Trè coughed, and disguised his laugher as racking sobs.

"Ah, be calm, my child. It will pass." The teacher sighed and walked away, dragging her fingertips lightly over Trè's back as she went. As soon as she was talking to some other poor student who was out of earshot, the five proceeded to laugh their heads off.

"The aura of the classroom?" Billie asked, rubbing his hands over his face. "Dude, how the fuck did you manage to say that with a straight face?"

"I have no fucking idea!" Mike replied, leaning back on his sofa and laughing.

Once the teens had gotten themselves under a modicum of control Adie asked, "So what are you dudes gonna do this term?"

"Same as always," Billie replied, with a tinge of pink on his ears.

"Music!" Trè screamed quietly, drumming on the desktop while Mike played his signature air bass.

"What about you, Jess?" Adie asked. "What are you gonna do?"

"I dunno," she said, making a confused/unsure sort of face. "I wanna do art, like drawing cartoons and shit, but Trelawney would probably take it as art art, painting and sculpting etcetera."

"Who's Trelawney?" Trè asked Jess.

"The divination teacher from those Harry Potter books," she replied. "I used to be a bit obsessed, then all the movies and marketing shit came out so I gave up on it."

"Nerd!" Mike accused comically, pointing at her. "Quick, get away! She might be contagious!"

Trè mock-screamed and dove behind Mike. "Take the blonde!" he cried. "He needs nerdifying! All blondes do!"

"Hey!" Mike protested.

"Well it's true!" Trè replied in a whiney voice. "If you nerdified all blondes, then maybe they'd be up to speed with the normal people."

"Oh, fuck off!" Mike laughed, shifting so Trè fell over towards Jess. "I'm not even a blonde! Its peroxide you dick!"

"Oh, duh!" Trè replied. He then screamed "Ah! Help!" he cowered, laughing. "I'm too cute to be a nerd!"

"And I'm not?" Jess asked. "Oh, that's nice!" she laughed and moved towards him, making a scary face.

"So anyways," Adie interrupted. "What do you wanna do?"

"Probably music, too." Jess replied, leaving Trè huddled in his bean-bag behind Billie Joe, grinning. "It's about time I learnt to play my guitar properly."

"We'll give you a hand, then," Trè piped up from his hiding place. "Billie, Mike and I can all play the guitar. It's easy."

"Great!" Jess said, "Hey, what about you, Adie? What are you gonna do?"

"Well, my friend Nat and I are probably both gonna do art," she replied, waving a girl from the other side of the class over. "Dudes, this is Nataliah."

"Yo, dudes!" The dark-skinned girl said plonking herself down on a bean-bag between Adie and Jess. "Hey, ain't you that new girl? The one who knocked Dickhead Dork-man on his ass?"

"Yeah," Jess replied. "News travels fast." She said to Trè, Mike and BJ.

"Well, good on you, girl!" Nataliah smiled. "S'about time someone knocked that dick on his on his skinny white ass! I like you already!"

"Thanks," Jess replied. "From the sounds of it he bloody well deserved it!"

"Hell yeah!" Nat said empathetically. "He's the biggest sleaze on campus!"

"Hey!" Trè piped up, pouting. "That's my title!"

"Say what?" asked Nat.

"Ignore him, he's just being a dick," Mike said, punching Trè on the arm.

"So you're the new girl?" Adie asked Jess, who nodded. "It's about fucking time we got some new, punk girls around here! Those preppy bitches are takin' over our turf!"

"So, where ya from?" Nat asked, leaning towards Jess.

"Australia, originally," she replied. "But I travel a lot."

"Awesome! I reckon those preps are damn jealous of you!" Nat giggled. "Look at your tan! I thought you were Latino or something from the other side of the room."

"Thanks," Jess replied. "I love being out in the sun. It's an all natural tan, unlike the bottled stuff preppies use!"

"Those preppy bitches will come running when they find out you're parents own a boat!" Adie said.

"What?!" exclaimed Nat. "Girl, you must be the luckiest person on earth!"

"Tell that to six months on the open ocean with restricted internet, no phone and having to get ahead on my schoolwork schedule," Jess grumbled. The girls continued to interrogate Jess on life on a boat for the rest of class, with the guys answering for her when they could. The only one not so comfortable in this situation was Billie Joe. He was barely three feet from the woman of his dreams, and he couldn't think of anything to say about himself that'd impress her. Maybe he'd ask Jess to talk to her for him.