My American Idiots, chapter 3
As they walked into the living room, they saw Jess curled up on the double couch wearing a baggy t-shirt with a bear wearing a shower cap and holding a towel, standing above the words, 'Morning Rush Hour!' and tight grey track pants, brushing her short hair. "Hi guys," she said, looking up from the TV.
"Where's mom?" Billie asked, sitting down on the other side of the couch Jess was on, while Mike chose a single couch.
"In the shower," Jess replied, ripping the brush through a particularly tangled area, drawing in a hiss of breath and making a slightly pained face. Billie and Mike winced.
"That's gotta hurt," Billie remarked.
"Yep, it hurts like hell," Jess replied.
"Then why do it while your hair is still damp?" asked Mike, confused.
"Coz it's easier than if you let it dry with all the knots in." Jess replied, smoothing her short hair into two little pony-tails at the back of her head.
"If that's easier, I'd hate to see, hate to feel it with the knots dried in," Mike remarked solemnly.
"Do you guys even know how to brush your hair?" Jess asked, giving a sceptical look towards their messy heads.
"Yeah, but it only stays like that just long enough for us to mess it up with gel," Billie remarked, while watching a young blonde woman on the TV arguing with a young guy with dark hair and blue eyes about eating on a rescue boat.
"You guys are punks, aren't you?" Jess inquired, looking them over.
"How'd you guess?" asked Mike.
"Obvious," Jess shrugged. "Messy hair, dark clothing, awesome music. The eyeliner alone is a dead give away."
"How do you know that we're not Goth?" Billie pointed out. "Goths wear dark clothes and eyeliner."
"Coz I have never heard of a Goth who wrote punk music," Jess replied. With a small, homesick smile she added, "My sisters a Goth. Or says she is anyways. Personally, I prefer punk. Black is one of my fave colours, plus their music is the best ever!!"
"Really? Cool," Billie said. Then he added quietly, "You miss your family already, doncha?"
"Yeah," Jess replied softly. "We're all really close."
"How much family do you have?" asked Mike.
"Two lil sisters and a lil brother."
"What are their names?" asked Billie Joe.
"Stephanie, she's the 'Goth' and she's 15. Rielly is my second sister, she's the funny one. She's 12. And Thomas is the baby at eleven. He loves 'up-hugs'," I replied smiling.
"Isn't Riley a boys' name?" asked Mike confused.
"If you spell it R-I-L-E-Y or R-E-I-L-L-Y it is. Our Rielly is spelt, R-I-E-L-L-Y, so it's a girls' name. But mostly we call her Ellie-Rose," Jess explained. An Asian man was offering a pregnant girl some seafood on the TV. She just felt the baby kick, a day or so after their plane crashed. She was worried the baby was dead. "Do you guys enjoy this show?" Jess asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah. It's alright," Mike replied.
"Got a favourite?" Jess asked.
"Huh?" asked Billie Joe.
"Favourite character," Jess explained.
"Kate's pretty cool. Shannon's hot," Mike replied after a moment of thought.
"My faves are Hurley and Charlie. Funny guys," Billie replied, watching a small, skinny guy in a striped shirt badger a large, 'cuddly' guy about food. Peanut Butter, specifically.
"I like Sawyer and Charlie best, but I really like Claire and Kate. I watched this thing on the news about the show. The guy that acted Sawyer, I think his names Josh Holloway or something like that, said that girls like the messed-up guys. Apparently he's right. Charlie and Sawyer are a bit demented at times," Jess told them.
"If that's true, then you're gonna love Billie and Trè," Mike commented laughing quietly.
"Fuck up, dude. You're just as demented as me and Trè," Billie replied kicking Mike across the gap between the sofas. Jess just smiled and shook her head. "What are you laughing at?" he asked Jess.
"Nothing," Jess replied. As the show cut to the commercials she got up and stretched. "You guys want a coffee or anything?" she asked. "I've got a two kilo tin of Milo stashed away if you guys want some."
"What's Milo?" asked Billie, clearly puzzled as Jess went to her room to get her special Snoopy mug and the Milo. "Hang on, wait up!" Billie called after her as she walked into the kitchen "I'd better give you a hand. Mom'd go mental if she thought I'd made you do it by yourself." He clambered off the couch and headed for the kitchen.
"Wait for me," called Mike, vaulting of his seat. "I wanna see what this Milo stuff is."
"You guys know what hot chocolate or cocoa is obviously," Jess said, receiving nods in form of reply. "Milo is kinda like that but less bitter and crunchier. It isn't as fine as cocoa, and it tastes hell better! Wanna taste?" she held out a small spoonful each to Billie and Mike. "It's quite nice dry, but you might wanna get some spit ready, so you don't cough it back up and choke."
Billie and Mike took their spoonfuls, sucked on their tongues a bit, and put it in their mouths and mixed it up. "Mmm!" said Billie as he tasted the crunchy, chocolate flavour. "That's fucking awesome!!" said Mike loudly, as he and Billie licked the spoons clean.
"Can I have some more?" asked Billie.
"No, you'll eat it all if I say yes. You can have a mug of my special mix," Jess replied. "If you want one, that is."
"HELL, YEAH!" came the loud cry of approval.
"What's all this fuss?" asked Ollie, as she came in wrapped in a bathrobe.
"Mom, Jess just gave us a taste of this stuff called Milo, you gotta try some!" Billie told him mum hurriedly.
"Yeah, Ollie. It's awesome!" Mike added. "It makes Ovaltine taste like shit!"
"Michael!" Ollie warned. "What have I told you about swearing? Especially in front of young ladies!"
"Sorry," Mike said, shamefacedly.
"Busted!" Billie mouthed behind his mother.
"Don't do it again," she told him. To Jess she replied, "No thanks, dear. You enjoy your Milo. I'm giving up chocolate for a while," Ollie said.
"Ok, thanks, Ollie," Jess smiled. "You guys want vanilla in yours?" she asked the boys as Ollie left.
"No thanks, I'll try it plain first," replied Mike.
"Same," said Billie.
"Hey, Mike," Jess said when she was sure Ollie had left. "I don't give a crap if you swear. They used to do it all the time at my first job. Hell, even I caught on to it, and I was the baby of the group. Just don't let Ollie catch ya." Jess reminisced as she put in the Milo, sugar and milk, then poured the boiling water over the top and stirred vigorously. The end result was a very thick, hot drink with enough froth to put a cappuccino to shame. "Careful, it's hot," Jess warned, sipping her own steaming beverage.
"It's delicious!" declared Mike, who gulped his down.
"Can I have another, please?" asked Billie, holding out his empty cup.
"No, like I said before, you'd drink it all if I said yes," Jess replied laughing. "My Mum'd go spastic if we eat or drink it all too soon. I get one, two kilo tin for two months. And that's it."
"Jeez, she really expects it to last that long?" Billie asked in amazement.
"I guess she wasn't counting on your hosts liking it, was she?" Mike laughed.
"I guess not," Jess replied, finishing her drink, and wiping the leftovers out with a finger. "C'mon the commercials are over; last one on their couch is a loser!" Jess called over her shoulder as she vaulted nimbly over the back of the couch.
"No fair!" cried Mike. "Mine's on the other side of the room!"
"All's fair in love and war," quoted Jess, who read far too many books than was healthy for a teenaged girl.
"Hey, Jess," started Billie.
"Yeah-uh?" she asked.
"What's a 'Blue Light'?"
"Oh, it's a disco for minors. The local cops used to have them on once every term back in Brookton," Jess replied remembering some very shameful moments.
"Where's Brookton?" asked Mike.
"Full of questions, that's you lot, ain't it?" She smiled. "Brookton is a little farming town south of Perth in Western Australia. I remember that I nicknamed it 'Sheepfuckers Central' whenever I was in a bad mood with it coz it's such a shoddy little town. All the farmers are so full of their own Piss and Importance, if you ask me. Oh, excuse my language."
"Wow. Miss Goody-Goody has barely been with us," Mike checked his watch. "Eight hours, and she's already corrupt."
"We've done good," said Billie Joe as they all sat and watched the programme.
"Where's mom?" Billie asked, sitting down on the other side of the couch Jess was on, while Mike chose a single couch.
"In the shower," Jess replied, ripping the brush through a particularly tangled area, drawing in a hiss of breath and making a slightly pained face. Billie and Mike winced.
"That's gotta hurt," Billie remarked.
"Yep, it hurts like hell," Jess replied.
"Then why do it while your hair is still damp?" asked Mike, confused.
"Coz it's easier than if you let it dry with all the knots in." Jess replied, smoothing her short hair into two little pony-tails at the back of her head.
"If that's easier, I'd hate to see, hate to feel it with the knots dried in," Mike remarked solemnly.
"Do you guys even know how to brush your hair?" Jess asked, giving a sceptical look towards their messy heads.
"Yeah, but it only stays like that just long enough for us to mess it up with gel," Billie remarked, while watching a young blonde woman on the TV arguing with a young guy with dark hair and blue eyes about eating on a rescue boat.
"You guys are punks, aren't you?" Jess inquired, looking them over.
"How'd you guess?" asked Mike.
"Obvious," Jess shrugged. "Messy hair, dark clothing, awesome music. The eyeliner alone is a dead give away."
"How do you know that we're not Goth?" Billie pointed out. "Goths wear dark clothes and eyeliner."
"Coz I have never heard of a Goth who wrote punk music," Jess replied. With a small, homesick smile she added, "My sisters a Goth. Or says she is anyways. Personally, I prefer punk. Black is one of my fave colours, plus their music is the best ever!!"
"Really? Cool," Billie said. Then he added quietly, "You miss your family already, doncha?"
"Yeah," Jess replied softly. "We're all really close."
"How much family do you have?" asked Mike.
"Two lil sisters and a lil brother."
"What are their names?" asked Billie Joe.
"Stephanie, she's the 'Goth' and she's 15. Rielly is my second sister, she's the funny one. She's 12. And Thomas is the baby at eleven. He loves 'up-hugs'," I replied smiling.
"Isn't Riley a boys' name?" asked Mike confused.
"If you spell it R-I-L-E-Y or R-E-I-L-L-Y it is. Our Rielly is spelt, R-I-E-L-L-Y, so it's a girls' name. But mostly we call her Ellie-Rose," Jess explained. An Asian man was offering a pregnant girl some seafood on the TV. She just felt the baby kick, a day or so after their plane crashed. She was worried the baby was dead. "Do you guys enjoy this show?" Jess asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah. It's alright," Mike replied.
"Got a favourite?" Jess asked.
"Huh?" asked Billie Joe.
"Favourite character," Jess explained.
"Kate's pretty cool. Shannon's hot," Mike replied after a moment of thought.
"My faves are Hurley and Charlie. Funny guys," Billie replied, watching a small, skinny guy in a striped shirt badger a large, 'cuddly' guy about food. Peanut Butter, specifically.
"I like Sawyer and Charlie best, but I really like Claire and Kate. I watched this thing on the news about the show. The guy that acted Sawyer, I think his names Josh Holloway or something like that, said that girls like the messed-up guys. Apparently he's right. Charlie and Sawyer are a bit demented at times," Jess told them.
"If that's true, then you're gonna love Billie and Trè," Mike commented laughing quietly.
"Fuck up, dude. You're just as demented as me and Trè," Billie replied kicking Mike across the gap between the sofas. Jess just smiled and shook her head. "What are you laughing at?" he asked Jess.
"Nothing," Jess replied. As the show cut to the commercials she got up and stretched. "You guys want a coffee or anything?" she asked. "I've got a two kilo tin of Milo stashed away if you guys want some."
"What's Milo?" asked Billie, clearly puzzled as Jess went to her room to get her special Snoopy mug and the Milo. "Hang on, wait up!" Billie called after her as she walked into the kitchen "I'd better give you a hand. Mom'd go mental if she thought I'd made you do it by yourself." He clambered off the couch and headed for the kitchen.
"Wait for me," called Mike, vaulting of his seat. "I wanna see what this Milo stuff is."
"You guys know what hot chocolate or cocoa is obviously," Jess said, receiving nods in form of reply. "Milo is kinda like that but less bitter and crunchier. It isn't as fine as cocoa, and it tastes hell better! Wanna taste?" she held out a small spoonful each to Billie and Mike. "It's quite nice dry, but you might wanna get some spit ready, so you don't cough it back up and choke."
Billie and Mike took their spoonfuls, sucked on their tongues a bit, and put it in their mouths and mixed it up. "Mmm!" said Billie as he tasted the crunchy, chocolate flavour. "That's fucking awesome!!" said Mike loudly, as he and Billie licked the spoons clean.
"Can I have some more?" asked Billie.
"No, you'll eat it all if I say yes. You can have a mug of my special mix," Jess replied. "If you want one, that is."
"HELL, YEAH!" came the loud cry of approval.
"What's all this fuss?" asked Ollie, as she came in wrapped in a bathrobe.
"Mom, Jess just gave us a taste of this stuff called Milo, you gotta try some!" Billie told him mum hurriedly.
"Yeah, Ollie. It's awesome!" Mike added. "It makes Ovaltine taste like shit!"
"Michael!" Ollie warned. "What have I told you about swearing? Especially in front of young ladies!"
"Sorry," Mike said, shamefacedly.
"Busted!" Billie mouthed behind his mother.
"Don't do it again," she told him. To Jess she replied, "No thanks, dear. You enjoy your Milo. I'm giving up chocolate for a while," Ollie said.
"Ok, thanks, Ollie," Jess smiled. "You guys want vanilla in yours?" she asked the boys as Ollie left.
"No thanks, I'll try it plain first," replied Mike.
"Same," said Billie.
"Hey, Mike," Jess said when she was sure Ollie had left. "I don't give a crap if you swear. They used to do it all the time at my first job. Hell, even I caught on to it, and I was the baby of the group. Just don't let Ollie catch ya." Jess reminisced as she put in the Milo, sugar and milk, then poured the boiling water over the top and stirred vigorously. The end result was a very thick, hot drink with enough froth to put a cappuccino to shame. "Careful, it's hot," Jess warned, sipping her own steaming beverage.
"It's delicious!" declared Mike, who gulped his down.
"Can I have another, please?" asked Billie, holding out his empty cup.
"No, like I said before, you'd drink it all if I said yes," Jess replied laughing. "My Mum'd go spastic if we eat or drink it all too soon. I get one, two kilo tin for two months. And that's it."
"Jeez, she really expects it to last that long?" Billie asked in amazement.
"I guess she wasn't counting on your hosts liking it, was she?" Mike laughed.
"I guess not," Jess replied, finishing her drink, and wiping the leftovers out with a finger. "C'mon the commercials are over; last one on their couch is a loser!" Jess called over her shoulder as she vaulted nimbly over the back of the couch.
"No fair!" cried Mike. "Mine's on the other side of the room!"
"All's fair in love and war," quoted Jess, who read far too many books than was healthy for a teenaged girl.
"Hey, Jess," started Billie.
"Yeah-uh?" she asked.
"What's a 'Blue Light'?"
"Oh, it's a disco for minors. The local cops used to have them on once every term back in Brookton," Jess replied remembering some very shameful moments.
"Where's Brookton?" asked Mike.
"Full of questions, that's you lot, ain't it?" She smiled. "Brookton is a little farming town south of Perth in Western Australia. I remember that I nicknamed it 'Sheepfuckers Central' whenever I was in a bad mood with it coz it's such a shoddy little town. All the farmers are so full of their own Piss and Importance, if you ask me. Oh, excuse my language."
"Wow. Miss Goody-Goody has barely been with us," Mike checked his watch. "Eight hours, and she's already corrupt."
"We've done good," said Billie Joe as they all sat and watched the programme.
