Rock And Roll Girlfriend, chapter 10
*Taylor's pov*
Woo Hoo! The super evil cast-mabober is coming off today. Six whole weeks, can you believe it? My stupid fucking mono is finally gone too. That shit takes forever to go away. Emma stopped by my house with Mike and Tre. We are NOT planning Billie Joe's surprise part for his 20th birthday. Nope. Okay fine, we are. "Strippers. Definitely strippers. How are all the horny guys at his party supposed to survive without strippers," Tre said, eating a Tootsie Pop.
"Wow. Isn't that just you?" Emma said, playing with Mike's hair.
"At least I have good pick up lines," Tre said proudly.
"Oh yeah? Like what?" I asked Tre, trying to think of the perfect gift for Billie Joe.
"Have you been eating a lot of Campbell's Soup? Cuz you're mmm mmm good!" Tre yelled.
"Well, have you been eating a lot of lollipop? Cuz you suck!" Mike said hitting Tre in the back of the head with a dictionary that seemed to come out of nowhere.
"Do I suck good?" Tre said smiling stupidly, acting like a girl flirting with Mike.
"Hey, Mike is my man. Back off you sexual predator!" Emma said, pushing Tre off the chair that he was sitting on. He pretended to cry.
"Retards. Knock it off!! I we are supposed to be planning Billie Joe's fucking birthday party. He is going to be here to take me to the doctor to get my fucking cast removed in like five fucking minutes!!!" I screamed at hem. They were starting to piss me off. Can they all be mature for one day of their whole fucking lives? I really hate people sometimes.
"Hey Taylor! Ready to get that fucking cast off?" Billie yelled walking through the door. We through all of the party planning stuff into a big shopping bag and tried to look like we were up to nothing. Tried being the key word.
"Umm, did I miss something," Billie Joe asked while looking around. I was half way off of a chair, Mike had a scary smile, Emma was on the floor, and Tre was lying across the counter like some porn star. All of us started to laugh hysterically.
"Forget it. I don't even want to begin to know what you guys were doing. It was probably dirty anyway," Billie Joe said kissing my cheek. He pointed at Emma, Mike and Tre and then to his eyes. What a loser.
Billie Joe drove me to the hospital to get the cast removed. He was pestering me the whole way to tell him what we were up to. I got so annoyed that I turned the radio up as loud as it could go, which wasn't that loud because Billie had a real shitty car.
"I'm not telling you!!" I yelled over the music while Billie Joe was poking my arm. I stuck my tongue out at him as a joke but he took it the wrong way. He started to make out with me. "You idiot!!! Stop! We don't want a repeat of the accident that put me in this fucking thing do you?" I laughed as Billie Joe stopped.
We pulled up to the hospital. I went inside. There was like about 50 bajillion people in there. Just then, I felt a hand slap my butt really hard. "You fucktard!" I scream. Billie Joe had the biggest smile on his face.
"Don't pretend you didn't like it. Oh, I would watch your language if I were you," Billie Joe said pointing at a little girl.
"Mommy, what's a fucktard?" The girl asked her mother. The little girl's mother shot me the dirtiest, evilest look.
"What? They are all going to hear it sometime," I said and the girl's mother flipped me the finger.
"What a fucking hypocrite!" Billie Joe exclaimed, pointing at the woman with his mouth wide open.
"Taylor, the doctor will take your cast off now," said a nurse.
***
One cast removal, a lecture on the importance of not sicking pens down your cast, and a coffee later, Billie Joe and I were sitting on my couch watching...Bambi. Ok, there was nothing on tv. I was fixing my chipped black nailpolish when I looked over to my side... Billie Joe was crying! "Hey, babe, are you actually crying?" I asked trying my hardest not to laugh.
"You would be crying too if you were paying any attention to what was going on! The poor deer's mom just got shot! How would you feel if your mom got shot?"
"If she's around, I won't answer that question. So you admit to crying?"
"Hell no! I wasn't crying! I am the toughest guy there is!" Billie Joe said. He stood up and he started flexing his 'muscles'. I got up and stood in front of him. I was taller.
"Bitch," Billie Joe said and he coninued watching the movie. The phone rang. I ran over to anser it, tripping over nothing. Billie laughed. I pointed my fingers in a gun shape and pretended to shoot him.
"Hello?" I said as I answer the phone. Oh God, it was Tre.
"Hey Tayls, it's Tre. I just wanted to know how many strippers I should book for Billie's party. It's in three days you know," he said all exited. I went in the pantry and shut the door so Billie Joe wouldn't hear about his suprise party.
"Tre! No strippers! I swear if I see that you send one of those whores to the party I will personally make sure you are casterated!! Understand?"
"Yeah. I like my ball. It's my only friend. We -" I cut Tre off.
"Eww. Gross! Enough I don't want to hear how you...umm...pleasure yourself,ok? I just want to make sure you know the ground rules. No strippers. You can't even strip because I'm not sure many peaple would want to be there to witness that horrible occasion. I have to go. I hear Billie Joe walking into the kitchen. Bye!" I hung up on Tre. How could Billie Joe be friend and be in a band with someone so-sex crazed? Oh, well. Tre's pretty cool most of the time. Half the time. Fine, so he's weird but he is still a good friend AND a kick ass drummer.
"Hey Taylor? Where are you?" Billie said opening up the pantry.
"Heh. Hi Billie Joe. Want some snacks?" I asked him grabbing a bottle of Windex. What was Windex be doing in a place that you store food? More reasons that my mom is strange.
"Not if you are going to poison me with Windex three days before my birthday."
"Don't worry Billie, your birthday is going to be special." Billie Joe helped me out of the closet and I prayed that he didn't hear any of the conversation with me and Tre.
Woo Hoo! The super evil cast-mabober is coming off today. Six whole weeks, can you believe it? My stupid fucking mono is finally gone too. That shit takes forever to go away. Emma stopped by my house with Mike and Tre. We are NOT planning Billie Joe's surprise part for his 20th birthday. Nope. Okay fine, we are. "Strippers. Definitely strippers. How are all the horny guys at his party supposed to survive without strippers," Tre said, eating a Tootsie Pop.
"Wow. Isn't that just you?" Emma said, playing with Mike's hair.
"At least I have good pick up lines," Tre said proudly.
"Oh yeah? Like what?" I asked Tre, trying to think of the perfect gift for Billie Joe.
"Have you been eating a lot of Campbell's Soup? Cuz you're mmm mmm good!" Tre yelled.
"Well, have you been eating a lot of lollipop? Cuz you suck!" Mike said hitting Tre in the back of the head with a dictionary that seemed to come out of nowhere.
"Do I suck good?" Tre said smiling stupidly, acting like a girl flirting with Mike.
"Hey, Mike is my man. Back off you sexual predator!" Emma said, pushing Tre off the chair that he was sitting on. He pretended to cry.
"Retards. Knock it off!! I we are supposed to be planning Billie Joe's fucking birthday party. He is going to be here to take me to the doctor to get my fucking cast removed in like five fucking minutes!!!" I screamed at hem. They were starting to piss me off. Can they all be mature for one day of their whole fucking lives? I really hate people sometimes.
"Hey Taylor! Ready to get that fucking cast off?" Billie yelled walking through the door. We through all of the party planning stuff into a big shopping bag and tried to look like we were up to nothing. Tried being the key word.
"Umm, did I miss something," Billie Joe asked while looking around. I was half way off of a chair, Mike had a scary smile, Emma was on the floor, and Tre was lying across the counter like some porn star. All of us started to laugh hysterically.
"Forget it. I don't even want to begin to know what you guys were doing. It was probably dirty anyway," Billie Joe said kissing my cheek. He pointed at Emma, Mike and Tre and then to his eyes. What a loser.
Billie Joe drove me to the hospital to get the cast removed. He was pestering me the whole way to tell him what we were up to. I got so annoyed that I turned the radio up as loud as it could go, which wasn't that loud because Billie had a real shitty car.
"I'm not telling you!!" I yelled over the music while Billie Joe was poking my arm. I stuck my tongue out at him as a joke but he took it the wrong way. He started to make out with me. "You idiot!!! Stop! We don't want a repeat of the accident that put me in this fucking thing do you?" I laughed as Billie Joe stopped.
We pulled up to the hospital. I went inside. There was like about 50 bajillion people in there. Just then, I felt a hand slap my butt really hard. "You fucktard!" I scream. Billie Joe had the biggest smile on his face.
"Don't pretend you didn't like it. Oh, I would watch your language if I were you," Billie Joe said pointing at a little girl.
"Mommy, what's a fucktard?" The girl asked her mother. The little girl's mother shot me the dirtiest, evilest look.
"What? They are all going to hear it sometime," I said and the girl's mother flipped me the finger.
"What a fucking hypocrite!" Billie Joe exclaimed, pointing at the woman with his mouth wide open.
"Taylor, the doctor will take your cast off now," said a nurse.
***
One cast removal, a lecture on the importance of not sicking pens down your cast, and a coffee later, Billie Joe and I were sitting on my couch watching...Bambi. Ok, there was nothing on tv. I was fixing my chipped black nailpolish when I looked over to my side... Billie Joe was crying! "Hey, babe, are you actually crying?" I asked trying my hardest not to laugh.
"You would be crying too if you were paying any attention to what was going on! The poor deer's mom just got shot! How would you feel if your mom got shot?"
"If she's around, I won't answer that question. So you admit to crying?"
"Hell no! I wasn't crying! I am the toughest guy there is!" Billie Joe said. He stood up and he started flexing his 'muscles'. I got up and stood in front of him. I was taller.
"Bitch," Billie Joe said and he coninued watching the movie. The phone rang. I ran over to anser it, tripping over nothing. Billie laughed. I pointed my fingers in a gun shape and pretended to shoot him.
"Hello?" I said as I answer the phone. Oh God, it was Tre.
"Hey Tayls, it's Tre. I just wanted to know how many strippers I should book for Billie's party. It's in three days you know," he said all exited. I went in the pantry and shut the door so Billie Joe wouldn't hear about his suprise party.
"Tre! No strippers! I swear if I see that you send one of those whores to the party I will personally make sure you are casterated!! Understand?"
"Yeah. I like my ball. It's my only friend. We -" I cut Tre off.
"Eww. Gross! Enough I don't want to hear how you...umm...pleasure yourself,ok? I just want to make sure you know the ground rules. No strippers. You can't even strip because I'm not sure many peaple would want to be there to witness that horrible occasion. I have to go. I hear Billie Joe walking into the kitchen. Bye!" I hung up on Tre. How could Billie Joe be friend and be in a band with someone so-sex crazed? Oh, well. Tre's pretty cool most of the time. Half the time. Fine, so he's weird but he is still a good friend AND a kick ass drummer.
"Hey Taylor? Where are you?" Billie said opening up the pantry.
"Heh. Hi Billie Joe. Want some snacks?" I asked him grabbing a bottle of Windex. What was Windex be doing in a place that you store food? More reasons that my mom is strange.
"Not if you are going to poison me with Windex three days before my birthday."
"Don't worry Billie, your birthday is going to be special." Billie Joe helped me out of the closet and I prayed that he didn't hear any of the conversation with me and Tre.
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