A Haunting Forever Troubling, chapter 1
In the end, he didn't know how it had happened to him. Ever since he was a teenager, he has always had the same exact dream. It was always about someone running through a dark alleyway; woman to be exact. At the end, she would start screaming bloody a high, piercing yell and he would wake up, drenched in a clod sweat, sometimes ever tears.
And now, at the sold age of thirty-two, he still would have the same dream. Every year, everything would just begin to get worse. He was paranoid, and once in a while would hear voices in his head. Hallunications would occur, but not as often. But the funny thing was, he was always strange. He suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for as long as he could remember. The voices would grow louder and become more frequent. And, he didn't know how to control them.
But things weren't always bad. In 1994, he married his longtime girlfriend and they had two young sons. His wife has helped him through everything, and she even knows about the dream. He even remembers the fight they had two nights ago, all about him.
FLASHBACK
"Billie, don't you think it's time that you go and talk to somebody? This is starting to get very ridiculous now, and nothing seems to be getting better about it."
He looked up at her, fear and anger setting in his eyes. "Adie, no. I can't go to a psychologist about this. When I was younger, I tried to. But, they don't listen to anything that you say."
"Billie, do you understand how serious this is? Lets think about the past ten years for a second. 1994, you weren't even half as bad as you are now! This is not just about your anxiety, this is about everything else! Your children want to know what's wrong!"
"They don't know... "
"Don't kid yourself. Jakob is still too young to know and understand, but Joey sees it happening. Can you blame him for wanting to know?"
Billie Joe looked down. Maybe, he did need some kind of help. Gradually, it got worse. He was scared, and his biggest fear was something happening while he was performing. That, he knew, most likely will be the end of his career.
"No, I can't. Adie, I'll do when I'm ready. Don't nag me, and I'll go."
She lifted up his chin and kissed him. "Okay. I love you so much. I-I don't want you to get hurt."
"I won't Adie."
END FLASHBACK
He sighed and looked out over the balcony, taking a long drag form his cigarette. The bottom line was that he was stressed out. The first half of the American idiot tour was finished, and he was thankful for that, but after Christmas it started up again. So, did he have much of a break? No, he did now. He has been working non-stop ever since they decided to do this. He wrote the songs, and got half of the melodies down. And through it all, he had the voices, and was paranoid.
Billie Joe turned around and saw Joey coming outside. He smiled. "Hey there buddy, what are you up to? It's late."
He sat on Billie Joe's lap. "Oh, nothing... Can I just ask you something, and then I will go to bed?"
"Sure."
"Are you okay? Two nights ago I heard you and mom fighting again..."
"Joey," Billie Joe interrupted, "don't you worry about me and your mom. We are okay, but sometimes I don't deal with things the way that I should be dealing with them."
"But, are you okay?"
"Joey, I am fine. When you are older, I will tell you, but... Right now, you are only nine, and you're too young to understand. How about you go back to bed, alright? I don't want your mother to have my head."
Joey laughed and jumped out of Billie's lap. "Alright dad. See you in the morning!"
"Night Joey." And Billie Joe continued to stare out into the city. It was peaceful, and nothing at this time was bothering him. But, he knew seconds from now something was going to.
(voice)Well, well, well... You don't seem to be doing much but smoking tonight. No drinking? No alcohol? That is such a shock.
Go away, you are disrupting my peace.
It began to laugh, like it always did. (voice)Billie, you still do not understand that this is what I live for, right? Disrupting your peace... It is one amazing thing to do. I love seeing it when you get pissed off also. That is just one site to see.
It is going on seventeen years, and you still don't know when to call it quits. Can't you just leave me alone and let me be? I thought all of the drugs would make you disappear.
(voice)Goes to show how smart you are, little man. The drugs have made it worse then it is. But, that is a good thing, since I am forcing you to take them.
These are the moments, when he especially feels like giving up. He remembers back when he was fifteen, how the voice was hardly there. It was just like a mere thought, lingering there. But now, he was having full-blown conversations with the thing. And, he didn't like it one bit.
Go away, and leave me the hell alone. Billie Joe said through gritted teeth.
(voice)Fine Billie, for once I will. But, learn your lesson next time before asking me.
When the voice was gone, he all of a sudden began to feel extremely paranoid. He even had the urge to scream out Adrienne's name as loud as he could, because he was afraid. He was scared that someone was in back of him pointing a gun to the back of his head.
Instantly, he turned around and was met with Adrienne staring back to him. He breathed a sigh of relief, but noticed that his hands were shaking and he was sweating. The color, he could feel, drained from his face. Adrienne was looking at him, concern filling her face.
"Billie, are you alright?"
He looked up at her. That was one thing that she never knew about... It was the paranoia. It was just the dream, and that was all. Nothing else, and he felt that it was okay that way.
But, was it really? Or, was he just trying to convince himself that he was alright? Maybe that just wasn't the case anymore.
"Um... I'm alright... No need to ask."
She eyed him suspiciously. "Okay Billie, but... You do know that you can tell me anything, right?"
"Y-Yeah... I'm okay. Just, got a chill."
"Alright. Come on, it's late and I have work tomorrow. Why don't we go to bed now, you could try and get some more sleep then you have been. I mean, between the dream and not getting the proper sleep while on tour, you must be exhausted."
He smiled up weakly at her. "Yeah, I am. I plan on sleeping tonight. Do you need me for anything tomorrow? Like, at the studio?"
She crawled into bed, and he went in next. "Nope, I have it under control. Just you, concentrate on sleeping."
"I will. Goodnight Adie."
She kissed him passionately and stroked his cheek. "Night, Billie Joe."
DREAM
Billie Joe was standing by his window, looking outside. He was bored, and Adrienne didn't come on tour with him this time. It was dark, for it was midnight, and he wanted to see the nightlife of the city that never sleeps.
But, he saw it... A woman, running through the darkness. He couldn't make out whatever she was running from. Whether it was a person, an animal, or just life itself, will forever remain a mystery to him. But, he wanted to help this person; from whatever may be troubling her, he wants to help and reach out to her.
He grabbed his leather jacket on the hock by the door and threw on his all black chucks, running out the door to see where this woman was heading. But, he lost track of her. So, he made his way to the alleyway that was located in the back of the hotel he was staying at. He walked behind it, and saw the woman. She was screaming something, and when he moved closer, he understood what she was saying.
"Please, don't hurt me... All I want is to live my life freely, free from pain... Please, let me be. Stop haunting me!"
Billie Joe was confused... No one was there, hurting her. She was talking to the fence that was there, and maybe some of the black cats that were around. But other then that, no one was around.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, someone came out of the garbage can, and slapped Billie Joe over the head with a piece of wood he was holding. He fell to the ground, and was dizzy, not realizing what was going on. But, the last thing he had heard, was a high piercing yell coming from the woman.
And, he blacked out at the sound of it.
END DREAM
Billie Joe woke up drenched in a cold sweat, and tears streaming down his hot cheeks. He had had the dream again, and he wasn't happy about it. This time, it was longer, and he was closer to finding out who this woman was. He was scared now, because again, he felt paranoid.
And this time, something different had happened... The woman appeared at the foot of the bed. Not right smack dab in front of him, but on the foot of the bed, where her face wasn't visible without the moonlight shining in through the window. He blinked for a split second, and then she was gone. That has never happened before... Was he being stalked or something?
Adrienne sat up in bed and looked to Billie Joe, noticing that his small body was trembling with fear. She turned to face him.
"Billie, what's wrong? You're shaking... Did you have the dream again?"
He slowly nodded and Adrienne hugged him close to her, feeling his hot tears falling onto her chest. She sighed, knowing that there was nothing she could do to help him anymore... Unless he went and talked to someone about it.
But, he promised he was going to go when he was ready, and she hoped that that was very, very soon.
"Billie, please honey... You have this dream at least once a week now. What's been going on? Are you feeling alright?" she felt his temple, and noticed that he was warmer then usual, but that could just be because he was scared, and crying.
"I-I'm fine... Just, hold m-me?"
She wrapped her arms around his waist and rocked him back and forth like he was a child, waking up in the middle of the night. But, that is what he had just did... He woke up from a bad dream.
Meanwhile, down the hall, Joey was up also getting a glass of water. He just walked back to his room when he suddenly looked inside his parent's room, and saw his father sitting up in bed, shaking with fear. This was usual for every week, and he remember one time when he was four years old he saw the same thing happen, but that time he remembered screaming, almost like he was talking to someone else other then his mother.
And, tonight, he seemed to be worse then before. Today, he would walk past the room after he came back from school, and he was in the bathroom, vomiting. But, he didn't tell his mother, because he was probably just going to do it now anyway.
And, at that moment, he was right... He heard heaving coming from his parent's room, and he knew that it was his father. He sighed, and walked back into his room. He felt bad for his father, he really did, but from what he heard, he never wanted to get help. Joey would hear Billie Joe talking to himself sometimes, or imagined that he saw something that wasn't really there. Joey wasn't scared though, oh no...
... He was just worried.
He crawled silently into his bed and fell back into a deep sleep, wondering if his father was ever going to be okay again.
And now, at the sold age of thirty-two, he still would have the same dream. Every year, everything would just begin to get worse. He was paranoid, and once in a while would hear voices in his head. Hallunications would occur, but not as often. But the funny thing was, he was always strange. He suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for as long as he could remember. The voices would grow louder and become more frequent. And, he didn't know how to control them.
But things weren't always bad. In 1994, he married his longtime girlfriend and they had two young sons. His wife has helped him through everything, and she even knows about the dream. He even remembers the fight they had two nights ago, all about him.
FLASHBACK
"Billie, don't you think it's time that you go and talk to somebody? This is starting to get very ridiculous now, and nothing seems to be getting better about it."
He looked up at her, fear and anger setting in his eyes. "Adie, no. I can't go to a psychologist about this. When I was younger, I tried to. But, they don't listen to anything that you say."
"Billie, do you understand how serious this is? Lets think about the past ten years for a second. 1994, you weren't even half as bad as you are now! This is not just about your anxiety, this is about everything else! Your children want to know what's wrong!"
"They don't know... "
"Don't kid yourself. Jakob is still too young to know and understand, but Joey sees it happening. Can you blame him for wanting to know?"
Billie Joe looked down. Maybe, he did need some kind of help. Gradually, it got worse. He was scared, and his biggest fear was something happening while he was performing. That, he knew, most likely will be the end of his career.
"No, I can't. Adie, I'll do when I'm ready. Don't nag me, and I'll go."
She lifted up his chin and kissed him. "Okay. I love you so much. I-I don't want you to get hurt."
"I won't Adie."
END FLASHBACK
He sighed and looked out over the balcony, taking a long drag form his cigarette. The bottom line was that he was stressed out. The first half of the American idiot tour was finished, and he was thankful for that, but after Christmas it started up again. So, did he have much of a break? No, he did now. He has been working non-stop ever since they decided to do this. He wrote the songs, and got half of the melodies down. And through it all, he had the voices, and was paranoid.
Billie Joe turned around and saw Joey coming outside. He smiled. "Hey there buddy, what are you up to? It's late."
He sat on Billie Joe's lap. "Oh, nothing... Can I just ask you something, and then I will go to bed?"
"Sure."
"Are you okay? Two nights ago I heard you and mom fighting again..."
"Joey," Billie Joe interrupted, "don't you worry about me and your mom. We are okay, but sometimes I don't deal with things the way that I should be dealing with them."
"But, are you okay?"
"Joey, I am fine. When you are older, I will tell you, but... Right now, you are only nine, and you're too young to understand. How about you go back to bed, alright? I don't want your mother to have my head."
Joey laughed and jumped out of Billie's lap. "Alright dad. See you in the morning!"
"Night Joey." And Billie Joe continued to stare out into the city. It was peaceful, and nothing at this time was bothering him. But, he knew seconds from now something was going to.
(voice)Well, well, well... You don't seem to be doing much but smoking tonight. No drinking? No alcohol? That is such a shock.
Go away, you are disrupting my peace.
It began to laugh, like it always did. (voice)Billie, you still do not understand that this is what I live for, right? Disrupting your peace... It is one amazing thing to do. I love seeing it when you get pissed off also. That is just one site to see.
It is going on seventeen years, and you still don't know when to call it quits. Can't you just leave me alone and let me be? I thought all of the drugs would make you disappear.
(voice)Goes to show how smart you are, little man. The drugs have made it worse then it is. But, that is a good thing, since I am forcing you to take them.
These are the moments, when he especially feels like giving up. He remembers back when he was fifteen, how the voice was hardly there. It was just like a mere thought, lingering there. But now, he was having full-blown conversations with the thing. And, he didn't like it one bit.
Go away, and leave me the hell alone. Billie Joe said through gritted teeth.
(voice)Fine Billie, for once I will. But, learn your lesson next time before asking me.
When the voice was gone, he all of a sudden began to feel extremely paranoid. He even had the urge to scream out Adrienne's name as loud as he could, because he was afraid. He was scared that someone was in back of him pointing a gun to the back of his head.
Instantly, he turned around and was met with Adrienne staring back to him. He breathed a sigh of relief, but noticed that his hands were shaking and he was sweating. The color, he could feel, drained from his face. Adrienne was looking at him, concern filling her face.
"Billie, are you alright?"
He looked up at her. That was one thing that she never knew about... It was the paranoia. It was just the dream, and that was all. Nothing else, and he felt that it was okay that way.
But, was it really? Or, was he just trying to convince himself that he was alright? Maybe that just wasn't the case anymore.
"Um... I'm alright... No need to ask."
She eyed him suspiciously. "Okay Billie, but... You do know that you can tell me anything, right?"
"Y-Yeah... I'm okay. Just, got a chill."
"Alright. Come on, it's late and I have work tomorrow. Why don't we go to bed now, you could try and get some more sleep then you have been. I mean, between the dream and not getting the proper sleep while on tour, you must be exhausted."
He smiled up weakly at her. "Yeah, I am. I plan on sleeping tonight. Do you need me for anything tomorrow? Like, at the studio?"
She crawled into bed, and he went in next. "Nope, I have it under control. Just you, concentrate on sleeping."
"I will. Goodnight Adie."
She kissed him passionately and stroked his cheek. "Night, Billie Joe."
DREAM
Billie Joe was standing by his window, looking outside. He was bored, and Adrienne didn't come on tour with him this time. It was dark, for it was midnight, and he wanted to see the nightlife of the city that never sleeps.
But, he saw it... A woman, running through the darkness. He couldn't make out whatever she was running from. Whether it was a person, an animal, or just life itself, will forever remain a mystery to him. But, he wanted to help this person; from whatever may be troubling her, he wants to help and reach out to her.
He grabbed his leather jacket on the hock by the door and threw on his all black chucks, running out the door to see where this woman was heading. But, he lost track of her. So, he made his way to the alleyway that was located in the back of the hotel he was staying at. He walked behind it, and saw the woman. She was screaming something, and when he moved closer, he understood what she was saying.
"Please, don't hurt me... All I want is to live my life freely, free from pain... Please, let me be. Stop haunting me!"
Billie Joe was confused... No one was there, hurting her. She was talking to the fence that was there, and maybe some of the black cats that were around. But other then that, no one was around.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, someone came out of the garbage can, and slapped Billie Joe over the head with a piece of wood he was holding. He fell to the ground, and was dizzy, not realizing what was going on. But, the last thing he had heard, was a high piercing yell coming from the woman.
And, he blacked out at the sound of it.
END DREAM
Billie Joe woke up drenched in a cold sweat, and tears streaming down his hot cheeks. He had had the dream again, and he wasn't happy about it. This time, it was longer, and he was closer to finding out who this woman was. He was scared now, because again, he felt paranoid.
And this time, something different had happened... The woman appeared at the foot of the bed. Not right smack dab in front of him, but on the foot of the bed, where her face wasn't visible without the moonlight shining in through the window. He blinked for a split second, and then she was gone. That has never happened before... Was he being stalked or something?
Adrienne sat up in bed and looked to Billie Joe, noticing that his small body was trembling with fear. She turned to face him.
"Billie, what's wrong? You're shaking... Did you have the dream again?"
He slowly nodded and Adrienne hugged him close to her, feeling his hot tears falling onto her chest. She sighed, knowing that there was nothing she could do to help him anymore... Unless he went and talked to someone about it.
But, he promised he was going to go when he was ready, and she hoped that that was very, very soon.
"Billie, please honey... You have this dream at least once a week now. What's been going on? Are you feeling alright?" she felt his temple, and noticed that he was warmer then usual, but that could just be because he was scared, and crying.
"I-I'm fine... Just, hold m-me?"
She wrapped her arms around his waist and rocked him back and forth like he was a child, waking up in the middle of the night. But, that is what he had just did... He woke up from a bad dream.
Meanwhile, down the hall, Joey was up also getting a glass of water. He just walked back to his room when he suddenly looked inside his parent's room, and saw his father sitting up in bed, shaking with fear. This was usual for every week, and he remember one time when he was four years old he saw the same thing happen, but that time he remembered screaming, almost like he was talking to someone else other then his mother.
And, tonight, he seemed to be worse then before. Today, he would walk past the room after he came back from school, and he was in the bathroom, vomiting. But, he didn't tell his mother, because he was probably just going to do it now anyway.
And, at that moment, he was right... He heard heaving coming from his parent's room, and he knew that it was his father. He sighed, and walked back into his room. He felt bad for his father, he really did, but from what he heard, he never wanted to get help. Joey would hear Billie Joe talking to himself sometimes, or imagined that he saw something that wasn't really there. Joey wasn't scared though, oh no...
... He was just worried.
He crawled silently into his bed and fell back into a deep sleep, wondering if his father was ever going to be okay again.
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