Why are There No Clouds in the Sky?, chapter 9
Mike, Billie Joe, and Tre were sitting in a room together, not saying a word. They knew they had to say something to each other, but each feared that they would accidentally say something they would regret.
Mike was afraid he would accidentally start screaming at Billie, for what a stupid dickhole he was. He knew Billie wasn't a dickhole, but he was worried he would say so. He was that furious.
Billie was afraid that he would accidentally start blaming Mike and Tre for everything. He knew it wasn't their faults at all, but he was worried he would say so. He was that confused.
Tre was afraid that he would accidentally start yelling with Mike and Billie for being such retards with the situation. And they were being retarded with it, but he was worried it would be too harsh. He was just that aggrivated.
So, like Mike and Tre had the day before, they sat in silence, until Billie broke the trend.
"I don't know what to say," he suddenly said. Everyone sighed. "I don't know what to say to make it all better."
"Try sorry," Mike said, a bit annoyed with the comment.
"Sorry isn't exactly enough for you and you know it," Tre snapped. "Look at us, we are being ridiculous. How stupid are we? We've been a band for 14 years for God's sake, and you both are acting like this is a hurdle impossible to get over. If we would quit being ridiculous then we could sort this out. Billie, you're just playing the whole 'Oh dear Lord look at me, I attempted suicide feel bad for me' note, and Mike, you're all 'Billie you're such an asshole, I'm going to get pissed at my best friend even though he really needs me help right now'. Are you guys retards incapable of expressing appropriate emotions right now or something?"
Billie and Mike just looked down, knowing what Tre had just said was completely true.
"I don't know," Mike said. "I've never really been in this type of situation before so I'm not sure what to say."
Tre coughed. "Well," he said. "We just need to start out by opening up. We are keeping too much from each other, and if we want to make an album together, we just need to get everything out.."
"Tre's right," Billie said. "We need to put everything out on the table, or else we'll all end up like me."
"Well, then, why don't we?" Mike responded.
"Fine, tell us everything," Tre said. "All of us. No secrets. Family life, music life, whatever. Just speak."
"Okay, I'll start," Billie said. "Things haven't been so great between Adrienne and I lately. Yeah, of course we've been okay after my incident, 'cause she doesn't want me to try to off myself again, but there's tension there. We haven't slept together in a while, which you both know is weird for me and Adie. And I'm really worried she's going to call it quits on me.
"And then Joey and Jake, they are a whole other story. I feel really bad now, especially after the whole thing. But even before that, I felt that I could never be there for them. I know I'm always touring, and even though I know it's a must, I also know that I could stop if I wanted to. You both are like brothers to me, yeah, but sometimes I have to make a decision for my family too. This could mess up the rest of their lives."
"Oh," Mike said. "Is that it?"
Billie nodded.
"Well," Mike started again. "I suppose it's my turn."
He sighed. "Here's the thing," he started. "you are both incredibly lucky and don't realize it. I sit at home all the time, alone, wanting someone there for me, when I don't. I love Estelle to death, both of you know that, but she's not always with me, and even if she is, she's too young to really hold me together. But I feel that I have to stay together for her.
"You both have wives who love and care about you more than anything in the world, and would do anything for you. And then each of you has this band to lean back on, as do I. But when things don't go too hot in the band, you both have someone to lean on, and me, I go home to an empty house and sit by my lonesome. It just sucks when there is no one there, because then it seems like you have nothing to live for."
Billie nodded, and then spoke. "The one thing you have to live for is finding that special someone. And you will, Mike. You're a great guy, it's obvious there's someone out there for you."
Tre grinned, "With Double D Cup brestices and legs that make a priest go 'woooooo'!"
For once, the 3 men laughed at the inappropriately timed joke, for it eased a lot of tension between them.
"What about you, Tre?" Billie asked.
Tre sighed. "Well, there's a lot," he said. "First off, I don't know if it's going to end up working with Claudia. She gets frustrated and doesn't understand the fact that I have to leave for tour so much, but the thing is, that's what's putting the money on the table. Not that taking care of the kids isn't important.
"And then there's you guys. You know you're the best, it's just you never take me seriously. I have good ideas, and I'm not a stupid guy, but it seems like I'm only a jokester to you. And I'm not."
Mike and Billie both looked down. Tre was really the only one on track today, and it was making them both feel like shit.
Suddenly, Billie's cell phone rang. He flipped it open, "Yeah?"
Almost as quickly as it rung, Billie's expression turned into a twist of a thousand emotions at once. "What? I'm there in a minute," he said into the phone and then picked up his coat to leave.
"What's up?" Mike asked.
He shook his head and started to run toward the door. Tears began to fall down his cheeks.
"BILLIE!" Tre tried to get his friend to tell them what was wrong.
Once again, Billie shook his head as he fumbled with the doorknob, struggling with his new inability to open a door.
Mike ran up to Billie Joe and grabbed his friend's shoulders and turned his body so he faced him. "What's wrong, Billie?" he asked.
Billie could barely get the words out.
"It's Joey... He's in the hospital."
Mike was afraid he would accidentally start screaming at Billie, for what a stupid dickhole he was. He knew Billie wasn't a dickhole, but he was worried he would say so. He was that furious.
Billie was afraid that he would accidentally start blaming Mike and Tre for everything. He knew it wasn't their faults at all, but he was worried he would say so. He was that confused.
Tre was afraid that he would accidentally start yelling with Mike and Billie for being such retards with the situation. And they were being retarded with it, but he was worried it would be too harsh. He was just that aggrivated.
So, like Mike and Tre had the day before, they sat in silence, until Billie broke the trend.
"I don't know what to say," he suddenly said. Everyone sighed. "I don't know what to say to make it all better."
"Try sorry," Mike said, a bit annoyed with the comment.
"Sorry isn't exactly enough for you and you know it," Tre snapped. "Look at us, we are being ridiculous. How stupid are we? We've been a band for 14 years for God's sake, and you both are acting like this is a hurdle impossible to get over. If we would quit being ridiculous then we could sort this out. Billie, you're just playing the whole 'Oh dear Lord look at me, I attempted suicide feel bad for me' note, and Mike, you're all 'Billie you're such an asshole, I'm going to get pissed at my best friend even though he really needs me help right now'. Are you guys retards incapable of expressing appropriate emotions right now or something?"
Billie and Mike just looked down, knowing what Tre had just said was completely true.
"I don't know," Mike said. "I've never really been in this type of situation before so I'm not sure what to say."
Tre coughed. "Well," he said. "We just need to start out by opening up. We are keeping too much from each other, and if we want to make an album together, we just need to get everything out.."
"Tre's right," Billie said. "We need to put everything out on the table, or else we'll all end up like me."
"Well, then, why don't we?" Mike responded.
"Fine, tell us everything," Tre said. "All of us. No secrets. Family life, music life, whatever. Just speak."
"Okay, I'll start," Billie said. "Things haven't been so great between Adrienne and I lately. Yeah, of course we've been okay after my incident, 'cause she doesn't want me to try to off myself again, but there's tension there. We haven't slept together in a while, which you both know is weird for me and Adie. And I'm really worried she's going to call it quits on me.
"And then Joey and Jake, they are a whole other story. I feel really bad now, especially after the whole thing. But even before that, I felt that I could never be there for them. I know I'm always touring, and even though I know it's a must, I also know that I could stop if I wanted to. You both are like brothers to me, yeah, but sometimes I have to make a decision for my family too. This could mess up the rest of their lives."
"Oh," Mike said. "Is that it?"
Billie nodded.
"Well," Mike started again. "I suppose it's my turn."
He sighed. "Here's the thing," he started. "you are both incredibly lucky and don't realize it. I sit at home all the time, alone, wanting someone there for me, when I don't. I love Estelle to death, both of you know that, but she's not always with me, and even if she is, she's too young to really hold me together. But I feel that I have to stay together for her.
"You both have wives who love and care about you more than anything in the world, and would do anything for you. And then each of you has this band to lean back on, as do I. But when things don't go too hot in the band, you both have someone to lean on, and me, I go home to an empty house and sit by my lonesome. It just sucks when there is no one there, because then it seems like you have nothing to live for."
Billie nodded, and then spoke. "The one thing you have to live for is finding that special someone. And you will, Mike. You're a great guy, it's obvious there's someone out there for you."
Tre grinned, "With Double D Cup brestices and legs that make a priest go 'woooooo'!"
For once, the 3 men laughed at the inappropriately timed joke, for it eased a lot of tension between them.
"What about you, Tre?" Billie asked.
Tre sighed. "Well, there's a lot," he said. "First off, I don't know if it's going to end up working with Claudia. She gets frustrated and doesn't understand the fact that I have to leave for tour so much, but the thing is, that's what's putting the money on the table. Not that taking care of the kids isn't important.
"And then there's you guys. You know you're the best, it's just you never take me seriously. I have good ideas, and I'm not a stupid guy, but it seems like I'm only a jokester to you. And I'm not."
Mike and Billie both looked down. Tre was really the only one on track today, and it was making them both feel like shit.
Suddenly, Billie's cell phone rang. He flipped it open, "Yeah?"
Almost as quickly as it rung, Billie's expression turned into a twist of a thousand emotions at once. "What? I'm there in a minute," he said into the phone and then picked up his coat to leave.
"What's up?" Mike asked.
He shook his head and started to run toward the door. Tears began to fall down his cheeks.
"BILLIE!" Tre tried to get his friend to tell them what was wrong.
Once again, Billie shook his head as he fumbled with the doorknob, struggling with his new inability to open a door.
Mike ran up to Billie Joe and grabbed his friend's shoulders and turned his body so he faced him. "What's wrong, Billie?" he asked.
Billie could barely get the words out.
"It's Joey... He's in the hospital."
