Who I Am Hates Who I've Been, chapter 4
Found my way back in the dark tonight
couldn't wake up not right next to you
I'd trade forever to just hear you say the sound of my name
but that's not why I'm here
I came down here to tell you
it rains in heaven all day long
I wanna find you so bad
and let you know I'm miserable up here without you
The little stream of sunshine comming through the little slit in the curtains stung my eyes. I looked around the room like a little lost kid, but then I realised I was still at Darcy's house. Looking around a little more, I turn onto my side and find Darcy sleeping on the floor. That's where it all hit me, last night's chaotic events. Looking at the little bed side alarm clock, I noticed it was only 5 A.M. Then I remembered, my parents. Hopefully they clocked out before 8 o'clock last night. Throwing the fleece throw off of me, I grab my winter coat and my backpack and sneak out the front door, hoping my parents were still asleep.
Walking through these dirty streets, I'm still thinking about Landon. There's something about him that makes me feel, well, different. What the heck is wrong with me? I don't even think he likes me. He probably thinks I'm more of a friend. But then, I feel an instant connection with him. Like there's some potential there.
As I reach the steps, I stop and listen for mom. Not hearing anything I quietly open the door, concentrating on making sure it didn't squeak. Seeing that the coast was clear, I walk up the stairs. Flopping on my bed and covering myself up with my comforter like I was always there, I couldn't help but think about Landon and the possibility of being together. And with that, I feel asleep with, for once, a smile on my face.
***
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
the choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
you'll be sorry when I'm gone
Instantly I was awake by a voice. The familiar one that always sent chills up my spine. " Where were you last night?" she demanded. "I was with Darcy, I told you before I left for school." I lied. I didn't tell her where I was going. But I knew something similar to this was comming. "No you didn't you little bitch. Don't fucking lie to me." Before I could say anything I was knocked to the floor by a painful slap across the face. "What time were you home? And DON'T lie to me" She emphasised don't to make sure I was listening." 10:30 last night." I lied again, and I knew another slap was coming. It came across the other cheek, stinging. "Don't think I'm buying your little game. You worthless piece of crap. You don't even belong here." And with that, she left the room. Instantly I broke down, tears running down both of my red, still stinging cheeks. I don't even know why I'm still here.
I got back up in my bed, and I plan on staying there the rest of the day. Listening to my only way out of this shit life, music.
couldn't wake up not right next to you
I'd trade forever to just hear you say the sound of my name
but that's not why I'm here
I came down here to tell you
it rains in heaven all day long
I wanna find you so bad
and let you know I'm miserable up here without you
The little stream of sunshine comming through the little slit in the curtains stung my eyes. I looked around the room like a little lost kid, but then I realised I was still at Darcy's house. Looking around a little more, I turn onto my side and find Darcy sleeping on the floor. That's where it all hit me, last night's chaotic events. Looking at the little bed side alarm clock, I noticed it was only 5 A.M. Then I remembered, my parents. Hopefully they clocked out before 8 o'clock last night. Throwing the fleece throw off of me, I grab my winter coat and my backpack and sneak out the front door, hoping my parents were still asleep.
Walking through these dirty streets, I'm still thinking about Landon. There's something about him that makes me feel, well, different. What the heck is wrong with me? I don't even think he likes me. He probably thinks I'm more of a friend. But then, I feel an instant connection with him. Like there's some potential there.
As I reach the steps, I stop and listen for mom. Not hearing anything I quietly open the door, concentrating on making sure it didn't squeak. Seeing that the coast was clear, I walk up the stairs. Flopping on my bed and covering myself up with my comforter like I was always there, I couldn't help but think about Landon and the possibility of being together. And with that, I feel asleep with, for once, a smile on my face.
***
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
the choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
you'll be sorry when I'm gone
Instantly I was awake by a voice. The familiar one that always sent chills up my spine. " Where were you last night?" she demanded. "I was with Darcy, I told you before I left for school." I lied. I didn't tell her where I was going. But I knew something similar to this was comming. "No you didn't you little bitch. Don't fucking lie to me." Before I could say anything I was knocked to the floor by a painful slap across the face. "What time were you home? And DON'T lie to me" She emphasised don't to make sure I was listening." 10:30 last night." I lied again, and I knew another slap was coming. It came across the other cheek, stinging. "Don't think I'm buying your little game. You worthless piece of crap. You don't even belong here." And with that, she left the room. Instantly I broke down, tears running down both of my red, still stinging cheeks. I don't even know why I'm still here.
I got back up in my bed, and I plan on staying there the rest of the day. Listening to my only way out of this shit life, music.
