Billie Joe Is My Refuge, chapter 2
I woke up. I looked at my alarm clock. 3:56. Fucking beautiful. I got out of my bed. I just came to America yesterday, explaining all the suitcases on the floor. I moved to Canada when I was 18. I didn't want to, but I had too. My grandmother was sick and I had to rake care of her. I never cried so much in my life. I wanted to be with Billie Joe forever. I miss him so goddamn much. I haven't spoken to him in 4 years. He moved away, started his career, and got married. Me? Ha. My mom always told me I would be a loser when I grew up. I'm in college, working at a guitar store part time.
I attend Berkeley College of music in Canada. Before I went to Berkeley, I worked hard on my band. We were what you called one hit wonders. We made the chart with our album "PMS" but after that people sort of forgot us. I decided to go to college, and pursue my musical career even more. I live with my best friend Shreya. I met her in college. I play the guitar, shreya plays the bass, Sharon plays the drums and tiffany is the singer. We are known as "Bad Hairday". Too bad we never played at Gilman's.
I remember when Billie and I went to Gilman's. I started to drool of the thought of Billie Joe. I have been thinking a lot about Billie lately. Tomorrow was our anniversary. They day we first met--brings bad memories and good. Car crashes help find love, which sounds bizarre to anyone else.
I have been recapping the prom scene in my head every night. When we said we loved each other, and wanted to be with each other for life. Life was only 2 months later. Mike told me that Billie wanted to marry me. He said he was saving up for the ring. That tore my heart to peaces. Before I left, he said he hated me, and hoped I died. It wasn't my fault.
But a year later he came to Canada, and decided to see me. I was engaged to my fiancé and he was so angry he left. He made a big scene, but I knew he was jealous. Where is my fiancé now? Who the fuck cares? Don't bring that bastard up in the conversation. He left for another woman. I got angry and force-fed his little slut the ring he gave me. It scratched her intestine, and she had to get surgery. I can crack up just thinking about it.
My boyfriend that I have now is a loser. He is rich, handsome, successful, and treats me like a princess. Why would I hate him? He is a stiff ass if you ask me. I have been seeing him for about a year. At first I really loved him, but now I don't feel that same love. Hell, I never really felt love for anyone. Except for Billie Joe that is.
I pulled my lazy ass out of bed. Today was graduation. We were having it in L.A. We reserved a beautiful beach resort, and there will be a special musical guest there. Probably going to be some fat ass with the moving band. I look in the mirror. I looked so fucking horrible. No sleep at all. I pulled my self away from the mirror and into the shower. "No fucking' hot water? What the fuck!" I yelled as I froze in the shower. I got a cheap motel. 20 bucks a night.
I got out the shower, and put on some jeans, and a Ramones shirt. We were supposed to wear dresses under our cloaks, but I could care less. I put on my cloak. Shit. You can see my jeans and sneakers. I looked at my jeans, and my converses showing. Ugh. I rolled my eyes and took them off. I want to graduate. I don't want to blow it on a pair of sneakers. Even though they were my favorite. Billie gave them to me, after he threw my old ones in the garbage disposal by accident. He got me new ones, and wrote the lyrics to love and death on my sneakers. It was the first song he wrote about me.
I picked up my shoe and started to read the lyrics when the phone rang. "Hello"? I answered in the phone as I was applying a coat of black nail polish.
"Open your door bitch," someone said from the other line. I opened the door to see my friend Shreya. I started cracking up. She had her converse on, jeans, eyeliner with Benji tears, and her vampire fangs.
"Look at you" I said examining her. She did a little turn and made a pose as if she was a model.
"Remember what Mrs. Ortmann (that's really my English teacher by the way) said?" I asked.
"Actually I don't. I was in the back room getting it on with Alex."
"Alex? OMG, you are going out with him now? You didn't tell me"
"Wait. What did Mrs. Ortmann say?"
"I seriously can't believe it. You had a crush on Alex since forever."
"Mrs. Ortmann said that?"
"Who?"
"What?"
"Alex...wow."
"You are such a fucking blonde. What did Mrs. Ortmann say? I actually want to graduate, and you won't shut up about Alex."
"You brought it up."
She gave me that "tell me before I punch you in the head" look so I gave up. It's really a blast to argue with her.
"She said you must look presentable. Hair up neatly. Subtle make up if any. Stockings under cloak... no pants under!! Navy Blue formal shoes (must be appropriate) and yeah... that's it I think."
"Fuck, do you have some shoes? And make up remover. Dude, help me get these fangs out. These little shits were 12 dollars." She is the cheapest person in the world. I laughed at her, and she kicked me in the shin. I gave her the only navy blue shoes I had left. They were crazy high. At least 4 inches off the ground.
"Oh fuck. I can't wear these."
"What else are you going to wear? You have no money to buy any. You are not wearing mine."
"Whatever," She went in the bathroom to change. She came out looking presentable, except for the stripper shoes.
"It doesn't look that bad. My cloak covers most of it."
I agreed with her, and we were off in my car.
"Dude, turn the radio on. I'm so scared, I need something to take my mind off of." Shreya said sipping some water, spilling it all over herself.
I laughed and turned the radio on.
"On Holidayyyyyyyyy" the radio and Shreya screamed at the same time.
"EW no way." I changed the station
"What? You don't like Green day? Are you nuts?"
"Yes I am," I answered
Nine Inch Nails blared through the speaker.
I never told Shreya about Billie Joe. After Green day got famous, I haven't listened to them.
"Whatever," she said humming holiday.
As we pulled in the parking lot, the bus was already there. It had to be some decent band, because they had a big ass bus.
"Oooooooooooo I heard confessions was playing," Shreya said, as she skipped in her stripper shoes.
"Hey baby" Dick came up to me and kissed me on the cheek.
"Hey dickhead, I mean Dick, because that's you name," Shreya burst out laughing.
He did an awkward laugh. "Baby can I talk to you?"
"Sure." I followed him, and looked behind to see Shreya rolling on the floor laughing. A guy tried to look up her skirt, and she chased him and kicked him really hard in the nuts.
"What's up?" I said casually.
"I can't come to the graduation. I have to go to an important meeting. But, I bought you something." He gave me a box, and I opened it. Two tickets to see the ballet in L.A. Awesome. Not.
"I don't know if I will able to make it, but hey, its ballet." I faked a smile and gave him a hug.
"Congrats." he said and walked away.
I caught up with my friends. They were talking about Tiffany's near death experience. "I was held up in the mall and the guy told me to undress, and I said no, and he said 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, so I kicked him in the balls really hard and he started bleeding from his mouth and..." I sometimes couldn't stand her. She was a bit of a ditz. Mrs. Ortmann got us all in our seats, and started the ceremony.
"Good morning everyone" She gushed and spat all over the microphone.
"Today is a day, where 1400 brilliant musicians will graduate. They will move on, and make our world more musical, or how some of my students put it, funky." She laughed and cleared her throat noticing how no one got her joke. "Well then, let's begin. These people have band practice in the morning."
I looked around. I saw my mom and dad come in late. Followed them, was my sister with her husband, and my youngest sister. I haven't seen them since last year. They look a lot different over a year. I turned around when she called my name.
"Jaime Satin?" "Are you here?" I quickly got out my seat. My friends and family were cheering for me. I did a little pose and walked up the steps. I loved acting stupid. As I was climbing the 5 stairs I saw someone standing there watching me.
"Fuck!" I screamed as I tripped over the step.
"Honey are you alright? Watch where you are going." I took the diploma, and my masters, and looked back. He wasn't there.
"What the fuck were you staring at?" Shreya asked me as I sat back down. Nothing" I lied. It couldn't have been him. No fucking way. NO NO NO NO NO NO! I screamed in my head. The green eyes. The hair. The smirk on his face. NO damn it NO!
"You are so weird," she whispered.
"Shreya Patel" Mrs. Ortmann yelled in the microphone. I cheered her on and watched as she went on to the stage.
"Thanks you guys," she said faking tears. "I can't except this. I have been cheating off of Jaime for 4 years!" she laughed. Everyone laughed and she sat back down. Mrs. Ortmann read the rest of the names. People gave speeches, and she gave out awards.
"And now... now I have a special present for you. All the money we raised brought... GREEN DAY here!" she screamed. The crowd went wild.
"I want my money back," I yelled. No one heard me. I looked around and saw Shreya trying to grope Billie Joe. They played a couple songs, and went on a break.
"You look like you are having fun," she said sarcastically.
"Come on. It's not like you slept with them. Don't have a grudge." Boy was she wrong.
Green Day came back on stage. I have to admit Billie looked very handsome. I heard he has been having problems with his wife. However he looked happy to me. Fake-ass I muttered to my self.
"Hey... you know we get a list of everyone graduating. So we wanted to give everyone a CD or something. Yeah but that's later," he laughed. "But that's not the point," he continued. "I came across a familiar name. A name that I have written many many songs about. This girl is hoping I'm not talking about her. I treated her like shit when I found out she was moving away from me, and moving on. I was jealous, because she was the only girl I loved. Hence one of the songs "The only girl I loved." He looked kind of nervous.
A tear shed down my cheek. Shreya saw it and knew it was me. "You suck," she whispered.
"Jaime Satin please come up here so I can say I am sorry."
I started to back away from the stage.
"She is right here," Shreya yelled pushing me to the stage. Everyone dragged me on the stage, and I was in front of beautiful green eyes. Sad looking. I started crying like a fucking baby, and he gave me a hug. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. He brought back a beautiful memory. I went to the side, and he started playing our song.
Shreya pulled my hair, and dragged me back stage. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"
"Would you have believed me?" I answered knowing she wouldn't.
"I'm shocked. Did you sleep with him?"
I nodded. "We were in love."
"Holy fucking shit, slap my mother." She said. Her common phrase.
"How big?" she asked.
"OMG, I can't believe you would ask me that. " I said staring at Billie play.
"Did it fit in your mouth?"
"Shreya shut up!" I yelled. I wanted to hear him play.
"Well excuse me," She said, shutting up.
*
"Billie?" I said looking up at him.
"hmmm?" he said lifting his head off my shoulder.
"I'm sorry. We made an oath not to find anyone new, because you were coming back. I'm sorry"
"Don't be." He said yawning. "It was selfish."
We were snuggled on the couch in his dressing room talking and falling asleep. "I think I better go," I said. Graduation party starts at 12 am. It was 11:30.
"Billie?"
"hmmm?"
"Can you be my date?"
"What about your 'boyfriend'." He asked mocking me.
"Oh, that stiff ass? He is on business, probably with another girl."
"So... I guess that means, fuck me because my boyfriend is a dickhead that I hate."
"Basically" I laughed kissing his cheek
"Works for me."
He took a shower and changed, and I did the same. He picked me up at my embarrassing hotel, and we were off.
" Wow" he laughed as I came out of the door. I could barley see him.
He flashed a safety light in my eye.
"What?" I said as I climbed in the passenger seat.
"Do they make you stay at this dump?" He stared at the "HOTEL $20 a night. Some charges might be extra." But since the some of the lights were broken it said "HO $20 a night. Some charges might be extra"
He looked at me and laughed again.
"I'm so happy, we are together again. I thought this would never happen. I loved you so much." I watched his face as he said this. He was holding back tears. "I just hope or wish that you-" I cut him off with a kiss. It was just like how things used to be.
"I still love you," I said. "Now drive bitch," I laughed.
We arrived at the party at 12:30, and it looked great. It was the ultimate college party. Everyone thought it was cool that Billie Joe was there, and lots of them were too drunk to notice. We drank a lot, and smoked so much weed my head was going to explode. We were dancing, and acting stupid.
At around 4, the rest of the band came over. We were trashing the room, and Mike thought it would be funny if he peed on the bed, where people were having sex. I was so messed up I couldn't stop throwing up. I was laughing, and throwing up at the same time.
At around 4, Billie and I were making out and dancing, and practically humping each other. "DUDE! The fuzz is here!" someone yelled. No one wants to be caught at a party with drugs, stolen beer, and other illegal substances. Everyone piled out the back door, leaving Rodney, with the cops to himself.
"I um... hi... what's the prob-" he collapsed on the floor.
"Oh my God!" I yelled as I made it to Billie Joe's car. "He was so wasted, I can't believe Rodney made it to the door!" laughed Billie Joe.
I stumbled in the car, and tried to put my seatbelt on. I couldn't see shit. I giggled uncontrollably, and he joined in. "I can't drive," he hiccupped.
"Me neither. I'm going to call Tre" Billie said, as he whipped out his cell phone.
"What's his fucking number?" he mumbled.
We eventually called him, and he came over in a flash. "This is just like the situation we had about 14 years ago." He laughed. I remembered when Billie Joe and I had our first date. We were too drunk to drive, so Billie Joe called Tre Cool.
We got in his car, and he drove us to his hotel. "Are you coming?" Billie called getting out the car.
"To your hotel room?" I asked, being hard to get.
"Unless you want to go back to your shitty hotel room down the street." He said giving me puppy eyes.
"I guess," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Billie-" Tre said pointing a finger towards him meaning Tre wanted to talk to him. Billie went back in the car; I sat on the curb and lit a cigarette.
"Billie don't mess this up-you're married."
"Old friends can't talk?" Billie breathed on Tre.
"What type of talking?" Tre asked sarcastically.
"I haven't seen her in years," he said, exiting the car
Tre screamed Billie's name about one more time, but we were already in his hotel room.
"What room number?" I asked him as I went on the elevator.
"69," he answered, giving me a seductive smile.
He had a really nice suite. Big plasma, hot tub, everything that he probably had in his house. I took of my shoes, and sat on his bed.
"Wait here," he said, "I have something to show you."
He went searching through his suitcase in the other room. I flipped on the TV. What a shock. Green Day was on TV.
"Turn that off," he yelled from the other room.
I giggled and turned it up louder. Billie was talking about masturbating as usual. I turned it off as he came in the room. He flopped on the bed. He had an old book that was sort of falling apart. It had writing all over it.
"Remember this?" he said, feeling the cover over the book. I looked closely at it, and I couldn't help but cry. It was our photo album. It had our songs and things we did together written in it as well.
"Don't cry," he said, laughing.
We went through it for the rest of the night. Crying and laughing about all the things that we remembered.
"Remember oozy?" I asked him, looking at one of our notes that we passed around in class. I remember we got in trouble for that.
"You look so oozy," he said. We both stared at each other for about a minute, not saying anything. "Jaime, I... " He trailed off, and looked at his hands. He was fiddling with the string from the photo album. Awkward silence. "Jaime I love you. I never stop thinking about you. My wife is sick of me, and is cheating on me with God knows who, and I feel empty every day, because I don't have you. I really love you, and I, I just... " He stared at the string again.
"I have to go." I said picking up my things. "Today is my wedding and all. I have to pick up my sis at the train station, so she can help me set up and stuff." I said putting my shoes, and I saw Billie, out of the corner of my eye, crying.
It killed me, but I am getting married soon. I mean, I can't love him. I CAN'T! What am I going to do? Cheat on my boyfriend? I looked back at him. I do love him. I never stopped. I want my self to get over it. He doesn't even know I have the picture of us at the photo booth on our first date in my sock draw. The picture that I kiss everyday.
"Billie... " I said as I dropped my things. "I love you. I never stopped loving you, but even if you and your wife are having problems, you are still married, and I am getting married today. Billie, I think about you everyday, and I will never forget you, but... " My taxi beeped its horn. It was waiting for me in front of the hotel.
As I bent down to get my stuff, he kissed me. I kissed back. He reluctantly pulled away. "Your right" He said. "Go marry someone you don't love. Just go." He went into the bathroom and locked the door.
"Billieeee," I said, moaning. My taxi probably left already and I was late to get my sister. Yes, I really did have to pick up my sister. I could hear him on the other side. I slid down and sat leaning against the door. He really could act like he was five years old. Another thing I loved about him. I started to cry. I couldn't help it. "Don't cry," he said.
"I can't help it. I seriously have to go though." I said standing up. I left the room. He was going back to California today. I will probably never see him again. He probably doesn't want to see me. At the party, he told me that he would leave his wife for me, but he was drunk. He couldn't have possibly meant that.
"Where have you been?" My sister yelled at me. She was sitting on a bench, eating a pretzel. She saw that I have been crying, and shut up. "What happened?" she asked as she finished stuffing her face with the pretzel. "We have to get your dress on woman." Jessica said. "Shreya said she is going to meet us at the store."
I went in the store, and picked out the cheapest dress. I didn't feel like wearing a dress. It was white and simple, but it still looked good one me. I got a pair of nice heels, and I was out of the store. "We should get your hair, in a fancy bun." Jessica squealed. "How come you are in such a bad mood? Don't tell me it's that time of the month. Do you even want to marry this guy?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
I was all dolled up, and ready to get married. Or was I? As I was driving to the church, my dress in the back, I couldn't stop thinking about Billie Joe. I didn't tell my sister anything. She knew something was up.
"Go get him," she said.
"What?" I said focusing on the road.
"You love him, he loves you. Go get him." I looked at her. Looked at the wheel, and back at her.
"That's what I am talking about!" she screamed as I turned around heading to the airport.
"GO! Hurry," My sister screamed.
I ran through the airport as I fast as I could. It was pouring out, and the airport was crowded. "Fuck!" I screamed loudly. Parents with children gave me disapproving looks. I crashed into someone standing online. I couldn't even get up. "Oh no! He is probably already on the plane heading back" I said not knowing I said it out loud.
"No he's not." Billie reached out his hand. He lifted me up. "You crashed into me rather hard." He said laughing. Fuck, here come the fucking tears.
"Billie, I love you!" I said, as I cried into his arms. "I want to be with you. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with that dick, I want you. I don't want to lose you again. I love you."
"Take that somewhere else," someone yelled across the room.
"Shut the fuck up you asshole!" Billie yelled at the guy.
"Is that the way you are going to look when we get married?" Billie laughed. My wedding dress had mud on it, from running in the parking lot while it was raining. My dress ripped when I went through security. My heel broke, on one shoe, and mascara was running down my face. We kissed for about five minutes, until we heard them call Oakland California over the loud speaker.
...meanwhile at the wedding...
"Where the fuck is that slut?" Jason yelled.
"Calm down." Shreya said. "She is probably fucking Billie Joe." She laughed.
"Listen slut, don't fucking do this to me on my fucking wedding day, because I'll make sure you don't have a wedding." He spit in Shreya's face. Shreya flicked him off.
"Do you even love her?" Shreya asked
"Did I love my past wives? They are good for about a year, then you get a new one, and plus Jaime can put my career in a different position because of her taxes. I make more money, I get the hold of the account, and I am the man. Than leave her in a year. Maybe two. You can't stand someone for that long." He laughed.
"You're a fucking pig." Shreya said as she punched him in the face.
"WAIT!" Someone yelled, as they came in the church.
"Jessica?" Shreya asked.
"My sister doesn't love you." Jessica said.
"She is leaving with Billie. I'm sorry that you all wasted your time here, but the wedding will be rescheduled. Rescheduled for Jaime and Billie that is."
"What? She is leaving me for a pothead that is already married. Yes my fine people, he is married. He is fucking M - A - R - R - I- E -D." He spelt out to the crowd.
"This is fucking bullshit!" he yelled, and slammed his fist in the alter.
He ran out of the church, and drove off, planning to make matters worse.
...Back at the airport...
...Until we heard them call Oakland California over the loud speaker...
"Are you going with me?" He asked.
"YES!" I screamed as I jumped on his back.
"You fucking slut!" I fell off Billie's back, as Billie turned around.
Jason was there, looking mad as ever. "You fucking slut!" he yelled again, this time charging for me.
"Leave her alone you douche." Billie said blocking me from Jason's direct path.
"Oh, is little Billie going to save the day? Hmmmm? Are ya Armstrong?" He said laughing. He shook is head in disgust. "Your little sex buddy ruined my life."
"The hell she did."
"This girl will mess everything up!" he yelled staring at me. "But you know what? All of those times we were together and I have to admit I did have feelings for you. You looked damn good on my bed tied up also. But the real reason I wanted to marry you was for my own selfish needs. Sweetheart, all those times I came home in a good mood. Well, number one: I have been having an affair with my secretary and number 2: You make the money come in. You won't understand this of course. I don't know how you got in college, but that's not the point. What the fuck is love my darling?" He was in my face now.
Billie put up his hands, as if he was about to fight him. "Right... " Jason said rolling his eyes. "You can fight also?" Jason said in a baby voice mocking Billie. "Good day Mother fucking assholes. Good fucking day!" As he was exiting the airport, a security guard approached him. "I just-"
"It's ok" Billie said as he kissed my head.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
"No I'm not. It was final yesterday. That's that I was trying to tell you. She was seeing some chump."
"Oh Billie," I squealed as we went on the plane, ready to start a new life.
"Jaime, will you marry me?"
"Billie you are going to get engaged to me in an airport? You are still married by the way."
I attend Berkeley College of music in Canada. Before I went to Berkeley, I worked hard on my band. We were what you called one hit wonders. We made the chart with our album "PMS" but after that people sort of forgot us. I decided to go to college, and pursue my musical career even more. I live with my best friend Shreya. I met her in college. I play the guitar, shreya plays the bass, Sharon plays the drums and tiffany is the singer. We are known as "Bad Hairday". Too bad we never played at Gilman's.
I remember when Billie and I went to Gilman's. I started to drool of the thought of Billie Joe. I have been thinking a lot about Billie lately. Tomorrow was our anniversary. They day we first met--brings bad memories and good. Car crashes help find love, which sounds bizarre to anyone else.
I have been recapping the prom scene in my head every night. When we said we loved each other, and wanted to be with each other for life. Life was only 2 months later. Mike told me that Billie wanted to marry me. He said he was saving up for the ring. That tore my heart to peaces. Before I left, he said he hated me, and hoped I died. It wasn't my fault.
But a year later he came to Canada, and decided to see me. I was engaged to my fiancé and he was so angry he left. He made a big scene, but I knew he was jealous. Where is my fiancé now? Who the fuck cares? Don't bring that bastard up in the conversation. He left for another woman. I got angry and force-fed his little slut the ring he gave me. It scratched her intestine, and she had to get surgery. I can crack up just thinking about it.
My boyfriend that I have now is a loser. He is rich, handsome, successful, and treats me like a princess. Why would I hate him? He is a stiff ass if you ask me. I have been seeing him for about a year. At first I really loved him, but now I don't feel that same love. Hell, I never really felt love for anyone. Except for Billie Joe that is.
I pulled my lazy ass out of bed. Today was graduation. We were having it in L.A. We reserved a beautiful beach resort, and there will be a special musical guest there. Probably going to be some fat ass with the moving band. I look in the mirror. I looked so fucking horrible. No sleep at all. I pulled my self away from the mirror and into the shower. "No fucking' hot water? What the fuck!" I yelled as I froze in the shower. I got a cheap motel. 20 bucks a night.
I got out the shower, and put on some jeans, and a Ramones shirt. We were supposed to wear dresses under our cloaks, but I could care less. I put on my cloak. Shit. You can see my jeans and sneakers. I looked at my jeans, and my converses showing. Ugh. I rolled my eyes and took them off. I want to graduate. I don't want to blow it on a pair of sneakers. Even though they were my favorite. Billie gave them to me, after he threw my old ones in the garbage disposal by accident. He got me new ones, and wrote the lyrics to love and death on my sneakers. It was the first song he wrote about me.
I picked up my shoe and started to read the lyrics when the phone rang. "Hello"? I answered in the phone as I was applying a coat of black nail polish.
"Open your door bitch," someone said from the other line. I opened the door to see my friend Shreya. I started cracking up. She had her converse on, jeans, eyeliner with Benji tears, and her vampire fangs.
"Look at you" I said examining her. She did a little turn and made a pose as if she was a model.
"Remember what Mrs. Ortmann (that's really my English teacher by the way) said?" I asked.
"Actually I don't. I was in the back room getting it on with Alex."
"Alex? OMG, you are going out with him now? You didn't tell me"
"Wait. What did Mrs. Ortmann say?"
"I seriously can't believe it. You had a crush on Alex since forever."
"Mrs. Ortmann said that?"
"Who?"
"What?"
"Alex...wow."
"You are such a fucking blonde. What did Mrs. Ortmann say? I actually want to graduate, and you won't shut up about Alex."
"You brought it up."
She gave me that "tell me before I punch you in the head" look so I gave up. It's really a blast to argue with her.
"She said you must look presentable. Hair up neatly. Subtle make up if any. Stockings under cloak... no pants under!! Navy Blue formal shoes (must be appropriate) and yeah... that's it I think."
"Fuck, do you have some shoes? And make up remover. Dude, help me get these fangs out. These little shits were 12 dollars." She is the cheapest person in the world. I laughed at her, and she kicked me in the shin. I gave her the only navy blue shoes I had left. They were crazy high. At least 4 inches off the ground.
"Oh fuck. I can't wear these."
"What else are you going to wear? You have no money to buy any. You are not wearing mine."
"Whatever," She went in the bathroom to change. She came out looking presentable, except for the stripper shoes.
"It doesn't look that bad. My cloak covers most of it."
I agreed with her, and we were off in my car.
"Dude, turn the radio on. I'm so scared, I need something to take my mind off of." Shreya said sipping some water, spilling it all over herself.
I laughed and turned the radio on.
"On Holidayyyyyyyyy" the radio and Shreya screamed at the same time.
"EW no way." I changed the station
"What? You don't like Green day? Are you nuts?"
"Yes I am," I answered
Nine Inch Nails blared through the speaker.
I never told Shreya about Billie Joe. After Green day got famous, I haven't listened to them.
"Whatever," she said humming holiday.
As we pulled in the parking lot, the bus was already there. It had to be some decent band, because they had a big ass bus.
"Oooooooooooo I heard confessions was playing," Shreya said, as she skipped in her stripper shoes.
"Hey baby" Dick came up to me and kissed me on the cheek.
"Hey dickhead, I mean Dick, because that's you name," Shreya burst out laughing.
He did an awkward laugh. "Baby can I talk to you?"
"Sure." I followed him, and looked behind to see Shreya rolling on the floor laughing. A guy tried to look up her skirt, and she chased him and kicked him really hard in the nuts.
"What's up?" I said casually.
"I can't come to the graduation. I have to go to an important meeting. But, I bought you something." He gave me a box, and I opened it. Two tickets to see the ballet in L.A. Awesome. Not.
"I don't know if I will able to make it, but hey, its ballet." I faked a smile and gave him a hug.
"Congrats." he said and walked away.
I caught up with my friends. They were talking about Tiffany's near death experience. "I was held up in the mall and the guy told me to undress, and I said no, and he said 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, so I kicked him in the balls really hard and he started bleeding from his mouth and..." I sometimes couldn't stand her. She was a bit of a ditz. Mrs. Ortmann got us all in our seats, and started the ceremony.
"Good morning everyone" She gushed and spat all over the microphone.
"Today is a day, where 1400 brilliant musicians will graduate. They will move on, and make our world more musical, or how some of my students put it, funky." She laughed and cleared her throat noticing how no one got her joke. "Well then, let's begin. These people have band practice in the morning."
I looked around. I saw my mom and dad come in late. Followed them, was my sister with her husband, and my youngest sister. I haven't seen them since last year. They look a lot different over a year. I turned around when she called my name.
"Jaime Satin?" "Are you here?" I quickly got out my seat. My friends and family were cheering for me. I did a little pose and walked up the steps. I loved acting stupid. As I was climbing the 5 stairs I saw someone standing there watching me.
"Fuck!" I screamed as I tripped over the step.
"Honey are you alright? Watch where you are going." I took the diploma, and my masters, and looked back. He wasn't there.
"What the fuck were you staring at?" Shreya asked me as I sat back down. Nothing" I lied. It couldn't have been him. No fucking way. NO NO NO NO NO NO! I screamed in my head. The green eyes. The hair. The smirk on his face. NO damn it NO!
"You are so weird," she whispered.
"Shreya Patel" Mrs. Ortmann yelled in the microphone. I cheered her on and watched as she went on to the stage.
"Thanks you guys," she said faking tears. "I can't except this. I have been cheating off of Jaime for 4 years!" she laughed. Everyone laughed and she sat back down. Mrs. Ortmann read the rest of the names. People gave speeches, and she gave out awards.
"And now... now I have a special present for you. All the money we raised brought... GREEN DAY here!" she screamed. The crowd went wild.
"I want my money back," I yelled. No one heard me. I looked around and saw Shreya trying to grope Billie Joe. They played a couple songs, and went on a break.
"You look like you are having fun," she said sarcastically.
"Come on. It's not like you slept with them. Don't have a grudge." Boy was she wrong.
Green Day came back on stage. I have to admit Billie looked very handsome. I heard he has been having problems with his wife. However he looked happy to me. Fake-ass I muttered to my self.
"Hey... you know we get a list of everyone graduating. So we wanted to give everyone a CD or something. Yeah but that's later," he laughed. "But that's not the point," he continued. "I came across a familiar name. A name that I have written many many songs about. This girl is hoping I'm not talking about her. I treated her like shit when I found out she was moving away from me, and moving on. I was jealous, because she was the only girl I loved. Hence one of the songs "The only girl I loved." He looked kind of nervous.
A tear shed down my cheek. Shreya saw it and knew it was me. "You suck," she whispered.
"Jaime Satin please come up here so I can say I am sorry."
I started to back away from the stage.
"She is right here," Shreya yelled pushing me to the stage. Everyone dragged me on the stage, and I was in front of beautiful green eyes. Sad looking. I started crying like a fucking baby, and he gave me a hug. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. He brought back a beautiful memory. I went to the side, and he started playing our song.
Shreya pulled my hair, and dragged me back stage. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"
"Would you have believed me?" I answered knowing she wouldn't.
"I'm shocked. Did you sleep with him?"
I nodded. "We were in love."
"Holy fucking shit, slap my mother." She said. Her common phrase.
"How big?" she asked.
"OMG, I can't believe you would ask me that. " I said staring at Billie play.
"Did it fit in your mouth?"
"Shreya shut up!" I yelled. I wanted to hear him play.
"Well excuse me," She said, shutting up.
*
"Billie?" I said looking up at him.
"hmmm?" he said lifting his head off my shoulder.
"I'm sorry. We made an oath not to find anyone new, because you were coming back. I'm sorry"
"Don't be." He said yawning. "It was selfish."
We were snuggled on the couch in his dressing room talking and falling asleep. "I think I better go," I said. Graduation party starts at 12 am. It was 11:30.
"Billie?"
"hmmm?"
"Can you be my date?"
"What about your 'boyfriend'." He asked mocking me.
"Oh, that stiff ass? He is on business, probably with another girl."
"So... I guess that means, fuck me because my boyfriend is a dickhead that I hate."
"Basically" I laughed kissing his cheek
"Works for me."
He took a shower and changed, and I did the same. He picked me up at my embarrassing hotel, and we were off.
" Wow" he laughed as I came out of the door. I could barley see him.
He flashed a safety light in my eye.
"What?" I said as I climbed in the passenger seat.
"Do they make you stay at this dump?" He stared at the "HOTEL $20 a night. Some charges might be extra." But since the some of the lights were broken it said "HO $20 a night. Some charges might be extra"
He looked at me and laughed again.
"I'm so happy, we are together again. I thought this would never happen. I loved you so much." I watched his face as he said this. He was holding back tears. "I just hope or wish that you-" I cut him off with a kiss. It was just like how things used to be.
"I still love you," I said. "Now drive bitch," I laughed.
We arrived at the party at 12:30, and it looked great. It was the ultimate college party. Everyone thought it was cool that Billie Joe was there, and lots of them were too drunk to notice. We drank a lot, and smoked so much weed my head was going to explode. We were dancing, and acting stupid.
At around 4, the rest of the band came over. We were trashing the room, and Mike thought it would be funny if he peed on the bed, where people were having sex. I was so messed up I couldn't stop throwing up. I was laughing, and throwing up at the same time.
At around 4, Billie and I were making out and dancing, and practically humping each other. "DUDE! The fuzz is here!" someone yelled. No one wants to be caught at a party with drugs, stolen beer, and other illegal substances. Everyone piled out the back door, leaving Rodney, with the cops to himself.
"I um... hi... what's the prob-" he collapsed on the floor.
"Oh my God!" I yelled as I made it to Billie Joe's car. "He was so wasted, I can't believe Rodney made it to the door!" laughed Billie Joe.
I stumbled in the car, and tried to put my seatbelt on. I couldn't see shit. I giggled uncontrollably, and he joined in. "I can't drive," he hiccupped.
"Me neither. I'm going to call Tre" Billie said, as he whipped out his cell phone.
"What's his fucking number?" he mumbled.
We eventually called him, and he came over in a flash. "This is just like the situation we had about 14 years ago." He laughed. I remembered when Billie Joe and I had our first date. We were too drunk to drive, so Billie Joe called Tre Cool.
We got in his car, and he drove us to his hotel. "Are you coming?" Billie called getting out the car.
"To your hotel room?" I asked, being hard to get.
"Unless you want to go back to your shitty hotel room down the street." He said giving me puppy eyes.
"I guess," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Billie-" Tre said pointing a finger towards him meaning Tre wanted to talk to him. Billie went back in the car; I sat on the curb and lit a cigarette.
"Billie don't mess this up-you're married."
"Old friends can't talk?" Billie breathed on Tre.
"What type of talking?" Tre asked sarcastically.
"I haven't seen her in years," he said, exiting the car
Tre screamed Billie's name about one more time, but we were already in his hotel room.
"What room number?" I asked him as I went on the elevator.
"69," he answered, giving me a seductive smile.
He had a really nice suite. Big plasma, hot tub, everything that he probably had in his house. I took of my shoes, and sat on his bed.
"Wait here," he said, "I have something to show you."
He went searching through his suitcase in the other room. I flipped on the TV. What a shock. Green Day was on TV.
"Turn that off," he yelled from the other room.
I giggled and turned it up louder. Billie was talking about masturbating as usual. I turned it off as he came in the room. He flopped on the bed. He had an old book that was sort of falling apart. It had writing all over it.
"Remember this?" he said, feeling the cover over the book. I looked closely at it, and I couldn't help but cry. It was our photo album. It had our songs and things we did together written in it as well.
"Don't cry," he said, laughing.
We went through it for the rest of the night. Crying and laughing about all the things that we remembered.
"Remember oozy?" I asked him, looking at one of our notes that we passed around in class. I remember we got in trouble for that.
"You look so oozy," he said. We both stared at each other for about a minute, not saying anything. "Jaime, I... " He trailed off, and looked at his hands. He was fiddling with the string from the photo album. Awkward silence. "Jaime I love you. I never stop thinking about you. My wife is sick of me, and is cheating on me with God knows who, and I feel empty every day, because I don't have you. I really love you, and I, I just... " He stared at the string again.
"I have to go." I said picking up my things. "Today is my wedding and all. I have to pick up my sis at the train station, so she can help me set up and stuff." I said putting my shoes, and I saw Billie, out of the corner of my eye, crying.
It killed me, but I am getting married soon. I mean, I can't love him. I CAN'T! What am I going to do? Cheat on my boyfriend? I looked back at him. I do love him. I never stopped. I want my self to get over it. He doesn't even know I have the picture of us at the photo booth on our first date in my sock draw. The picture that I kiss everyday.
"Billie... " I said as I dropped my things. "I love you. I never stopped loving you, but even if you and your wife are having problems, you are still married, and I am getting married today. Billie, I think about you everyday, and I will never forget you, but... " My taxi beeped its horn. It was waiting for me in front of the hotel.
As I bent down to get my stuff, he kissed me. I kissed back. He reluctantly pulled away. "Your right" He said. "Go marry someone you don't love. Just go." He went into the bathroom and locked the door.
"Billieeee," I said, moaning. My taxi probably left already and I was late to get my sister. Yes, I really did have to pick up my sister. I could hear him on the other side. I slid down and sat leaning against the door. He really could act like he was five years old. Another thing I loved about him. I started to cry. I couldn't help it. "Don't cry," he said.
"I can't help it. I seriously have to go though." I said standing up. I left the room. He was going back to California today. I will probably never see him again. He probably doesn't want to see me. At the party, he told me that he would leave his wife for me, but he was drunk. He couldn't have possibly meant that.
"Where have you been?" My sister yelled at me. She was sitting on a bench, eating a pretzel. She saw that I have been crying, and shut up. "What happened?" she asked as she finished stuffing her face with the pretzel. "We have to get your dress on woman." Jessica said. "Shreya said she is going to meet us at the store."
I went in the store, and picked out the cheapest dress. I didn't feel like wearing a dress. It was white and simple, but it still looked good one me. I got a pair of nice heels, and I was out of the store. "We should get your hair, in a fancy bun." Jessica squealed. "How come you are in such a bad mood? Don't tell me it's that time of the month. Do you even want to marry this guy?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
I was all dolled up, and ready to get married. Or was I? As I was driving to the church, my dress in the back, I couldn't stop thinking about Billie Joe. I didn't tell my sister anything. She knew something was up.
"Go get him," she said.
"What?" I said focusing on the road.
"You love him, he loves you. Go get him." I looked at her. Looked at the wheel, and back at her.
"That's what I am talking about!" she screamed as I turned around heading to the airport.
"GO! Hurry," My sister screamed.
I ran through the airport as I fast as I could. It was pouring out, and the airport was crowded. "Fuck!" I screamed loudly. Parents with children gave me disapproving looks. I crashed into someone standing online. I couldn't even get up. "Oh no! He is probably already on the plane heading back" I said not knowing I said it out loud.
"No he's not." Billie reached out his hand. He lifted me up. "You crashed into me rather hard." He said laughing. Fuck, here come the fucking tears.
"Billie, I love you!" I said, as I cried into his arms. "I want to be with you. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with that dick, I want you. I don't want to lose you again. I love you."
"Take that somewhere else," someone yelled across the room.
"Shut the fuck up you asshole!" Billie yelled at the guy.
"Is that the way you are going to look when we get married?" Billie laughed. My wedding dress had mud on it, from running in the parking lot while it was raining. My dress ripped when I went through security. My heel broke, on one shoe, and mascara was running down my face. We kissed for about five minutes, until we heard them call Oakland California over the loud speaker.
...meanwhile at the wedding...
"Where the fuck is that slut?" Jason yelled.
"Calm down." Shreya said. "She is probably fucking Billie Joe." She laughed.
"Listen slut, don't fucking do this to me on my fucking wedding day, because I'll make sure you don't have a wedding." He spit in Shreya's face. Shreya flicked him off.
"Do you even love her?" Shreya asked
"Did I love my past wives? They are good for about a year, then you get a new one, and plus Jaime can put my career in a different position because of her taxes. I make more money, I get the hold of the account, and I am the man. Than leave her in a year. Maybe two. You can't stand someone for that long." He laughed.
"You're a fucking pig." Shreya said as she punched him in the face.
"WAIT!" Someone yelled, as they came in the church.
"Jessica?" Shreya asked.
"My sister doesn't love you." Jessica said.
"She is leaving with Billie. I'm sorry that you all wasted your time here, but the wedding will be rescheduled. Rescheduled for Jaime and Billie that is."
"What? She is leaving me for a pothead that is already married. Yes my fine people, he is married. He is fucking M - A - R - R - I- E -D." He spelt out to the crowd.
"This is fucking bullshit!" he yelled, and slammed his fist in the alter.
He ran out of the church, and drove off, planning to make matters worse.
...Back at the airport...
...Until we heard them call Oakland California over the loud speaker...
"Are you going with me?" He asked.
"YES!" I screamed as I jumped on his back.
"You fucking slut!" I fell off Billie's back, as Billie turned around.
Jason was there, looking mad as ever. "You fucking slut!" he yelled again, this time charging for me.
"Leave her alone you douche." Billie said blocking me from Jason's direct path.
"Oh, is little Billie going to save the day? Hmmmm? Are ya Armstrong?" He said laughing. He shook is head in disgust. "Your little sex buddy ruined my life."
"The hell she did."
"This girl will mess everything up!" he yelled staring at me. "But you know what? All of those times we were together and I have to admit I did have feelings for you. You looked damn good on my bed tied up also. But the real reason I wanted to marry you was for my own selfish needs. Sweetheart, all those times I came home in a good mood. Well, number one: I have been having an affair with my secretary and number 2: You make the money come in. You won't understand this of course. I don't know how you got in college, but that's not the point. What the fuck is love my darling?" He was in my face now.
Billie put up his hands, as if he was about to fight him. "Right... " Jason said rolling his eyes. "You can fight also?" Jason said in a baby voice mocking Billie. "Good day Mother fucking assholes. Good fucking day!" As he was exiting the airport, a security guard approached him. "I just-"
"It's ok" Billie said as he kissed my head.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
"No I'm not. It was final yesterday. That's that I was trying to tell you. She was seeing some chump."
"Oh Billie," I squealed as we went on the plane, ready to start a new life.
"Jaime, will you marry me?"
"Billie you are going to get engaged to me in an airport? You are still married by the way."
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