When Green Day Meets An Angel, chapter 2
Mike and Tre walked out into the parking lot, police, coroners and fire fighters rushing past them. Not really seeing the point in having fire fighters Tre stuck out his foot to trip the closest one who fell flat on his face. Mike grabbed Tre's tie and started dragging him towards where they were parked. They turned the corner to see Billie Joe sitting on the bonnet of his black BMW. His eyes went wide when he saw Tre who was trying to rush him, forgetting that Mike was still holding his tie and ended up almost choking. Billie started laughing and fell off his car when Mike released Tre who fell forward.
"Ouch." They both said standing up and brushing the dirt off their pants.
"So Billie how come you didn't drive off and leave us?" Mike asked him. Billie rolled his eyes
"Jason had my keys, he drove us here remember?"
"Oh yeh."
"Besides, there was no way I was gonna let anyone in my car covered in puke."
"Why not?" said Tre "it's yours anyway."
"Shut up Tre or I'll throw up on you again! Anyway I need to get changed or somehing coz I stink."
"Yeh me too." Tre said agreeing with him. Both Billie Joe and Mike looked shocked at it.
"Well sorry guys but it's 11pm I don't think any shops are gonna be open and no cab driver is gonna pick you two up. Famous or not."
"Well we can always use the bathroom inside, but I don't have any other clothes to change into. They three stood looking at eachother until Tre started jumping up and down
"Oh I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!"
"What Tre?"
"There's one of those bins 'round back, you know the one's that people put old clothes in for charity?"
"What? No, we can't do that."
"What? Why not? Is Mr Billie Joe Armstrong above that?" asked Tre putting his hands, looking at Billie accusingly who put his hands up in defence
"No, I'm just saying we can't take clothes from poor people."
"Well it's not like they have them yet so we're not taking anything off them."
"It doesn't feel right."
"Well if it bugs you that much then just send them $100 later." Billie thought about it for a bit then nodded his head.
"Okay let's go."
After 20 minutes of going through bags and bags of clothes they finally settled on some. They found a tap and washed themselves off.
Mike was thinking about the Jason incident when he saw Tre and Billie Joe re-emerge. Billie Joe had only needed a new top and was now wearing a plain grey t-shirt. Tre on the other hand had needed a new everything. His hair was wet so Mike assumed that he's rinsed it but was still shocked at what he was wearing. Tre had appeared in hot pink sweat pants that what at least three sizes too small for him in which you could see he had a huge wedgie, a purple top that said 'I AM THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE' and little rhinestone sandals. Noticing Mike's face Billie said
"He refused to wear anything else." They both shrugged. "So what are we going to do about Jason?"
"Maybe we should try a detective agency or something like that."
"Yeh!" Billie took out his phone
"Who you gonna call?" shouted Tre "Ghostbusters?!?" Billie Joe rubbed his chin in thought. 'Maybe Jason is a ghost.' He decided to give them a call. He thought back to the movie trying to think of the number. When he remembered it he punched it in his phone.
"I wanna talk! Can I talk?" said Tre like a little kid. Billie threw him the phone just as it was answered.
"Hello Larry's Laundry Service. This is Larry."
"Hi can I please speak to Ghostbusters?" Larry sighed
"Look kid I don't know if this is your idea of a joke but it's not funny. Ghostbusters does not exist."
"I see," Tre said gesturing to the others that he had it under control "anyway my friend's head just disappeared and he looks like something weird so can you please send someone over to investigate?"
"sure," said Larry sarcastically, "we'll send someone right over." He hung up, so did Tre who then passed the phone back to Billie Joe who put it back in his pocket.
"They're sending someone over." The three men stood, sat and jumped around for 3 hours in complete silence until Mike finally spoke up
"Tre what exactly did the guy say." Tre closed his eyes as if in deep thought
"Well he asked me if I thought it was a joke and that he worked at a Laundry Mat which is funny coz its so late, that Ghostbusters doesn't exist and that he'd send someone over." Billie and Mike both rolled their eyes, "What?"
"Tre don't you find it weird that he didn't ask for the address?"
"I didn't think of that. Wow Mike you're really smart! I guess finishing school really paid off!"
"You don't need to finish school to work out something like that." said Billie Joe crossing his arms. Mike looked at him.
"I'm still smarter than you."
"Well you know what, I had no education and I'm just as big a success as you."
"Whatever."
"I know who we can call." Billie Joe took his phone back out and dialed a number.
"Hi, thanks for calling Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless. We've relocated to Wolfram and Hart so please drop by and we'll help you out." Billie closed his phone.
"C'mon guys, we're going to Wolfram and Hart." They hailed a cab and got in. As they walked into the L.A. branch they were greeted by security who started searching them
"Do you have any weapons that will cause a portal to open here?" Mike gave him a weird look
"Arr no."
"Are you planning a massacre?"
"Arr no."
"Are you here because you have done something illegal?" The band all looked at eachother not wanting to get in trouble so they lied
"Arr no."
"Excuse me Sir(s), I would appreciate it if you would stop lying to me." They all took gulps not sure what to say next
"Oh my Lord, cover me in honey and donuts sprinkles it's Green Day!" The band looked behind them to see who it was that had recognised them and almost screamed, they were pulled into hugs by a green guy, with red horns sticking out of his forehead and a bright red suit.
"Uh...uh...hi?"
"Oh don't be shy we're all friends here. So are you here to set up an account with Wolfram and Hart?"
"Well actually-" Billie Joe started
"Oh my god it's Green Day!" came the shriek of a young woman.
"Fred, sugarplums yes it is Green Day, come say hi."
"Lorne, how come you didn't tell me Green Day was here. Hi I'm Fred Burkle. I'm the head of the science department here." She held out her hand which Tre took and placed a kiss on
"Hello, you can may call me Tre Cool."
"Thanks, I don't really know you by any other name except for well Frank. But it is such a pleasure and...Gunn! Over here! Look who it is!" She yelled over to a bald black man
"No way, dude it's Green Day." he came over and shook all their hands. To Billie Joe these people all seemed strangely familiar. He tried to think of where he recognised them. Then it hit him
"Hey this is just like that show...umm what's it called...Angel!"
"I'm Angel." Billie Joe jumped and then spun around to a guy in a black trench coat who looked exactly like David Boreanaz.
"Wow that was so cool, you just full on snuck up on me." He held out his hand
"Like I was saying, my name is Angel, and you are?" Everyone except for the band gasped at this question, "What?"
"Angel," said Fred going over to him "you don't know who Green Day are?"
"Who?"
"Oh God Angel what you have been missing!" exclaimed Lorne. Billie Joe, Mike and Tre all looked at eachother feeling a little bit uncomfortable. Angel noticing their expression made a suggestion
"Umm okay are you here about your...I'm sorry I don't really know what it is you do but I'm guessing it's entertainment so if you like you can go with Lorne and sort out whatever it is that you're here for."
"Actually, we're here because something has happened to Jason, something not normal and I remember Angel Investigations dealed with things like that, but you're at a law firm now so I'm not really sure if we've come to the right place."
"Oh ok please follow me." Angel led them into his office where he offered them a seat on the dark red leather couch. The other workers followed them. "Before we start on why you are here, how about you tell me who you are exactly seeing as I seem to be behind on that."
"Well," started Mike "we are in a band called-"
"GREEN DAY!" everyone turned as Spike and Wesley entered the room
"Spike?" said Angel from behind his desk "You know who Green Day are?"
"Yeh, why don't you?"
"Of course I do."
"No he doesn't. He lies." said Tre pulling a teacher face "shame on you."
"Well you can't really expect an old poofter like Angel to know one of the greatest bands of this generation. By the way I'm Spike. It's a genuine honour." Everyone stared at Spike not used to this sort of behaviour from him "Especially you Billie Joe, I've always respected a man who isn't embarrassed to play with his fiddlestick in front of 50 000 people. Remind me to buy you a beer. Or better yet, seeing as your the one with millions of dollars, you can buy me one and I'll just make a toast. What'd you say?" Billie Joe was a little bit taken aback
"Umm...sure just remind me later." Angel just sat with him mouth hanging open
"So umm Green Day is a band. How come I haven't heard of you?"
"Because they don't play your shitty little classical music, you git."
"No, they are one the biggest band in punk rock this decade." Wesley said finally breaking his silence.
"See look even loser Wesley here knows who they are."
"Thank you for that Spike, also I am not a loser I just happen to enjoy reading and researching demons."
"HA!" laughed Mike, Tre and Billie Joe in unison. Billie cleared his throat
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
"Yes well thank you for that little bit of advice Mr Armstrong but perhaps we should get to why you are here."
"Well, Billie recommended this place because well, we were in the middle of a show when all of a sudden Jason started having these spasms and-"
"Which Jason?"
"White."
"Oh, please continue."
"Well anyway I guess the main thing is he head got replaced by something that looks like a cross between a crocodile and a cat."
"I see. Can you tell me if the creature attacked anyone or if it had any other unusual characteristics?" Billie snorted
"Other than the fact that he doesn't have a head!"
"Mr Armstrong please your sarcasm is not really appropiate."
"Haha Billie got in trouble." said Tre in a sing song voice.
"Shut up Tre." The two of them once again got into a fight slapping eachother until Gunn and Wesley pulled them off eachother "besides that was my normal voice."
"Oh I see, I apologise."
"And yeh, he started cutting off people's fucking noses!!!"
"Oh my god!" said Fred
"What?" said Tre
"It's kinda obvious Tre you moron, Billie just said somethings cutting off people's noses dont you think that's why she's freaked?"
"No that's not it." said Angel speaking once more "It sounds like a Boomshuckaluckalucka demon. Wes, what do you think?"
"Yes I have to agree, I don't know any other breed that cuts off noses. Do you know if the demone took the noses with him?"
"I don't know I was kinda freaking out that Jason has turned into a fucking demon and that he's cutting people's noses off!" Billie Joe yelled getting angry. Mike knowing that Billie was gonna snap very soon changed the subject
"So how do we change him back, you know, get his head back."
"Well, we could always cut the fucker's head off. I mean that would be the quickest way."
"Yes but Charles that would kill Jason as well."
"Actually, we have another gig in Montreal next week so the faster we get this done that better." said Billie Joe
"Yes but that would mean killing him." replied Fred.
"Excuse us." Billie stood up and Mike and Tre followed him over to the other side of the room where they huddled "You know a lot of the fans have been complaining about Jason lately, maybe we could use him turning into a Boomshuckafucker or whatever as an excuse to get rid of him."
"Thats smart thinking Bill."
"Thank you Mike," Billie said smiling at him.
"Well as much as I hate to have to be the smart one in this but-" he stopped, all three of them turned to glare at the others who were watching them, trying to hear what they were saying. When they turned away Tre started speaking again, making sure to whisper even quieter "if we kill Jason that means that we'll have to find a replacement second guitarist before the show."
"Oh yeh, damn I didn't think about that. It was bad enough when we first had auditions to find Jason I couldn't imagine having to go through that again."
"Yeh I guess." sighed Mike
"So it's agreed?" asked Billie Joe. The other two nodded their heads in reply. The all stood up and turned to face the others
"Well?" asked Gunn
"We have decided...to kill Jason." said Tre
Billie Joe kicked him.
"Tre you fucktard, we said no coz we don't wanna do the audition thing again."
"Ouch Billie you fucking kicked me!" Tre said hopping around nursing the back of his leg.
"Umm so yeh is there another way to get Jason back?" Mike asked.
"There is one other way, but it will require you to do something you might not like."
"Ouch." They both said standing up and brushing the dirt off their pants.
"So Billie how come you didn't drive off and leave us?" Mike asked him. Billie rolled his eyes
"Jason had my keys, he drove us here remember?"
"Oh yeh."
"Besides, there was no way I was gonna let anyone in my car covered in puke."
"Why not?" said Tre "it's yours anyway."
"Shut up Tre or I'll throw up on you again! Anyway I need to get changed or somehing coz I stink."
"Yeh me too." Tre said agreeing with him. Both Billie Joe and Mike looked shocked at it.
"Well sorry guys but it's 11pm I don't think any shops are gonna be open and no cab driver is gonna pick you two up. Famous or not."
"Well we can always use the bathroom inside, but I don't have any other clothes to change into. They three stood looking at eachother until Tre started jumping up and down
"Oh I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!"
"What Tre?"
"There's one of those bins 'round back, you know the one's that people put old clothes in for charity?"
"What? No, we can't do that."
"What? Why not? Is Mr Billie Joe Armstrong above that?" asked Tre putting his hands, looking at Billie accusingly who put his hands up in defence
"No, I'm just saying we can't take clothes from poor people."
"Well it's not like they have them yet so we're not taking anything off them."
"It doesn't feel right."
"Well if it bugs you that much then just send them $100 later." Billie thought about it for a bit then nodded his head.
"Okay let's go."
After 20 minutes of going through bags and bags of clothes they finally settled on some. They found a tap and washed themselves off.
Mike was thinking about the Jason incident when he saw Tre and Billie Joe re-emerge. Billie Joe had only needed a new top and was now wearing a plain grey t-shirt. Tre on the other hand had needed a new everything. His hair was wet so Mike assumed that he's rinsed it but was still shocked at what he was wearing. Tre had appeared in hot pink sweat pants that what at least three sizes too small for him in which you could see he had a huge wedgie, a purple top that said 'I AM THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE' and little rhinestone sandals. Noticing Mike's face Billie said
"He refused to wear anything else." They both shrugged. "So what are we going to do about Jason?"
"Maybe we should try a detective agency or something like that."
"Yeh!" Billie took out his phone
"Who you gonna call?" shouted Tre "Ghostbusters?!?" Billie Joe rubbed his chin in thought. 'Maybe Jason is a ghost.' He decided to give them a call. He thought back to the movie trying to think of the number. When he remembered it he punched it in his phone.
"I wanna talk! Can I talk?" said Tre like a little kid. Billie threw him the phone just as it was answered.
"Hello Larry's Laundry Service. This is Larry."
"Hi can I please speak to Ghostbusters?" Larry sighed
"Look kid I don't know if this is your idea of a joke but it's not funny. Ghostbusters does not exist."
"I see," Tre said gesturing to the others that he had it under control "anyway my friend's head just disappeared and he looks like something weird so can you please send someone over to investigate?"
"sure," said Larry sarcastically, "we'll send someone right over." He hung up, so did Tre who then passed the phone back to Billie Joe who put it back in his pocket.
"They're sending someone over." The three men stood, sat and jumped around for 3 hours in complete silence until Mike finally spoke up
"Tre what exactly did the guy say." Tre closed his eyes as if in deep thought
"Well he asked me if I thought it was a joke and that he worked at a Laundry Mat which is funny coz its so late, that Ghostbusters doesn't exist and that he'd send someone over." Billie and Mike both rolled their eyes, "What?"
"Tre don't you find it weird that he didn't ask for the address?"
"I didn't think of that. Wow Mike you're really smart! I guess finishing school really paid off!"
"You don't need to finish school to work out something like that." said Billie Joe crossing his arms. Mike looked at him.
"I'm still smarter than you."
"Well you know what, I had no education and I'm just as big a success as you."
"Whatever."
"I know who we can call." Billie Joe took his phone back out and dialed a number.
"Hi, thanks for calling Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless. We've relocated to Wolfram and Hart so please drop by and we'll help you out." Billie closed his phone.
"C'mon guys, we're going to Wolfram and Hart." They hailed a cab and got in. As they walked into the L.A. branch they were greeted by security who started searching them
"Do you have any weapons that will cause a portal to open here?" Mike gave him a weird look
"Arr no."
"Are you planning a massacre?"
"Arr no."
"Are you here because you have done something illegal?" The band all looked at eachother not wanting to get in trouble so they lied
"Arr no."
"Excuse me Sir(s), I would appreciate it if you would stop lying to me." They all took gulps not sure what to say next
"Oh my Lord, cover me in honey and donuts sprinkles it's Green Day!" The band looked behind them to see who it was that had recognised them and almost screamed, they were pulled into hugs by a green guy, with red horns sticking out of his forehead and a bright red suit.
"Uh...uh...hi?"
"Oh don't be shy we're all friends here. So are you here to set up an account with Wolfram and Hart?"
"Well actually-" Billie Joe started
"Oh my god it's Green Day!" came the shriek of a young woman.
"Fred, sugarplums yes it is Green Day, come say hi."
"Lorne, how come you didn't tell me Green Day was here. Hi I'm Fred Burkle. I'm the head of the science department here." She held out her hand which Tre took and placed a kiss on
"Hello, you can may call me Tre Cool."
"Thanks, I don't really know you by any other name except for well Frank. But it is such a pleasure and...Gunn! Over here! Look who it is!" She yelled over to a bald black man
"No way, dude it's Green Day." he came over and shook all their hands. To Billie Joe these people all seemed strangely familiar. He tried to think of where he recognised them. Then it hit him
"Hey this is just like that show...umm what's it called...Angel!"
"I'm Angel." Billie Joe jumped and then spun around to a guy in a black trench coat who looked exactly like David Boreanaz.
"Wow that was so cool, you just full on snuck up on me." He held out his hand
"Like I was saying, my name is Angel, and you are?" Everyone except for the band gasped at this question, "What?"
"Angel," said Fred going over to him "you don't know who Green Day are?"
"Who?"
"Oh God Angel what you have been missing!" exclaimed Lorne. Billie Joe, Mike and Tre all looked at eachother feeling a little bit uncomfortable. Angel noticing their expression made a suggestion
"Umm okay are you here about your...I'm sorry I don't really know what it is you do but I'm guessing it's entertainment so if you like you can go with Lorne and sort out whatever it is that you're here for."
"Actually, we're here because something has happened to Jason, something not normal and I remember Angel Investigations dealed with things like that, but you're at a law firm now so I'm not really sure if we've come to the right place."
"Oh ok please follow me." Angel led them into his office where he offered them a seat on the dark red leather couch. The other workers followed them. "Before we start on why you are here, how about you tell me who you are exactly seeing as I seem to be behind on that."
"Well," started Mike "we are in a band called-"
"GREEN DAY!" everyone turned as Spike and Wesley entered the room
"Spike?" said Angel from behind his desk "You know who Green Day are?"
"Yeh, why don't you?"
"Of course I do."
"No he doesn't. He lies." said Tre pulling a teacher face "shame on you."
"Well you can't really expect an old poofter like Angel to know one of the greatest bands of this generation. By the way I'm Spike. It's a genuine honour." Everyone stared at Spike not used to this sort of behaviour from him "Especially you Billie Joe, I've always respected a man who isn't embarrassed to play with his fiddlestick in front of 50 000 people. Remind me to buy you a beer. Or better yet, seeing as your the one with millions of dollars, you can buy me one and I'll just make a toast. What'd you say?" Billie Joe was a little bit taken aback
"Umm...sure just remind me later." Angel just sat with him mouth hanging open
"So umm Green Day is a band. How come I haven't heard of you?"
"Because they don't play your shitty little classical music, you git."
"No, they are one the biggest band in punk rock this decade." Wesley said finally breaking his silence.
"See look even loser Wesley here knows who they are."
"Thank you for that Spike, also I am not a loser I just happen to enjoy reading and researching demons."
"HA!" laughed Mike, Tre and Billie Joe in unison. Billie cleared his throat
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
"Yes well thank you for that little bit of advice Mr Armstrong but perhaps we should get to why you are here."
"Well, Billie recommended this place because well, we were in the middle of a show when all of a sudden Jason started having these spasms and-"
"Which Jason?"
"White."
"Oh, please continue."
"Well anyway I guess the main thing is he head got replaced by something that looks like a cross between a crocodile and a cat."
"I see. Can you tell me if the creature attacked anyone or if it had any other unusual characteristics?" Billie snorted
"Other than the fact that he doesn't have a head!"
"Mr Armstrong please your sarcasm is not really appropiate."
"Haha Billie got in trouble." said Tre in a sing song voice.
"Shut up Tre." The two of them once again got into a fight slapping eachother until Gunn and Wesley pulled them off eachother "besides that was my normal voice."
"Oh I see, I apologise."
"And yeh, he started cutting off people's fucking noses!!!"
"Oh my god!" said Fred
"What?" said Tre
"It's kinda obvious Tre you moron, Billie just said somethings cutting off people's noses dont you think that's why she's freaked?"
"No that's not it." said Angel speaking once more "It sounds like a Boomshuckaluckalucka demon. Wes, what do you think?"
"Yes I have to agree, I don't know any other breed that cuts off noses. Do you know if the demone took the noses with him?"
"I don't know I was kinda freaking out that Jason has turned into a fucking demon and that he's cutting people's noses off!" Billie Joe yelled getting angry. Mike knowing that Billie was gonna snap very soon changed the subject
"So how do we change him back, you know, get his head back."
"Well, we could always cut the fucker's head off. I mean that would be the quickest way."
"Yes but Charles that would kill Jason as well."
"Actually, we have another gig in Montreal next week so the faster we get this done that better." said Billie Joe
"Yes but that would mean killing him." replied Fred.
"Excuse us." Billie stood up and Mike and Tre followed him over to the other side of the room where they huddled "You know a lot of the fans have been complaining about Jason lately, maybe we could use him turning into a Boomshuckafucker or whatever as an excuse to get rid of him."
"Thats smart thinking Bill."
"Thank you Mike," Billie said smiling at him.
"Well as much as I hate to have to be the smart one in this but-" he stopped, all three of them turned to glare at the others who were watching them, trying to hear what they were saying. When they turned away Tre started speaking again, making sure to whisper even quieter "if we kill Jason that means that we'll have to find a replacement second guitarist before the show."
"Oh yeh, damn I didn't think about that. It was bad enough when we first had auditions to find Jason I couldn't imagine having to go through that again."
"Yeh I guess." sighed Mike
"So it's agreed?" asked Billie Joe. The other two nodded their heads in reply. The all stood up and turned to face the others
"Well?" asked Gunn
"We have decided...to kill Jason." said Tre
Billie Joe kicked him.
"Tre you fucktard, we said no coz we don't wanna do the audition thing again."
"Ouch Billie you fucking kicked me!" Tre said hopping around nursing the back of his leg.
"Umm so yeh is there another way to get Jason back?" Mike asked.
"There is one other way, but it will require you to do something you might not like."
