This Love Drives Me Into Madness, chapter 5
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"Mike?" I opened the door to the room he ran in earlier, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he choked out.
I steppd inside and lightly shut the door behind me. Mike was slouched on the edge of the bed, cradling his head in his hands.
"You don't sound okay..." I moved closer towards him.
"I'm fine!" Mike snapped, looking up at me. His cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were red and puffy. I've never seen such a strong man cry. I might not have known Mike personally, but he always seemed strong.
"No. You're not..." I sat down beside him. He looked away.
"I know I'm not," Mike muttered, "Sarah...she's...she's just too sensitive."
"So's Erin," I said, "She knows it, too. And she hates being that way."
"Wrong emotions always get in our way..."
"Yeah. But then...those emotions can be put somewhere else. Take me, for example," I continued, "I am very emotional. At one point in my life, I put my emotions into something dangerous. Then, I got help and now I use writing and music as an...as an aid so to speak."
"What was the dangerous aid?" Mike inquired, looking up at me again.
"I-I don't want to talk about it right now..." I replied.
"Ah..." he sighed, "Well, if it was that dangerous...atleast you stopped."
"Yeah...you're right," I smiled, "But, anyway, why don't you tell me what your thoughts are...it might help to get this off your chest."
"Alright..." Mike agreed, "Well...Sarah...she--For her...to know who you were...it wasn't important. And what she said...wasn't--it wasn't the right thing to say. How could she say that I couldn't be trusted? Nothing happened between us. That-that just shows that Sarah and I...aren't meant to be together."
"I'm sorry..." I mumbled, "I'm sorry that I was there. I'm sorry that I slammed into you. I'm sorry you bought me that coffee. I'm sorry I said I'd see you some other time...I'm sorry that I'm babbling about being sorry."
"You shouldn't apologize," Mike reassured me, "You didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault,"
"That's what Adrienne said."
"Well, she's right."
"I know. It doesn't mean that I don't still feel bad," I told Mike.
"Well, someone can always feel guilty for something," he replied.
"But I'm really sorry that this happened," I murmured, bowing my head.
"Look at me," Mike commanded. I didn't budge. "Look. At. Me." He lifted my chin up with his hand so we made eye contact. "You didn't do a thing. Trust me on this one. I'm not just saying this so I don't make you feel bad. I am speaking the truth. You didn't do a thing. So don't beat yourself up for it."
I nodded slightly as his arm dropped down onto the bed.
"I told you I was emotional," I chuckled.
"Everyone is."
"Yeah...I guess so..."
"Listen...this has been bugging the fuck out of me," Mike blurted out, "I know earlier I was pissed. And I know that I scared you. And I'm sorry for that."
"It's alright...Erin gets that way when she's drunk, too. So I'm used to it," I said, "That's why I stay sober...most of the time."
"Speaking of sober...I feel undrunkified right now."
"Undrunkified?"
"Yeah. It's when you're slightly tipsy but not fully piss ass drunk. Duh," Mike answered.
"Riight...I guess it is true that you learn something new everyday," I sighed.
"Yep," he slung an arm on my shoulder, "Like the other day, I learned how to walk. It was so awesome...until I fell up the steps...which hurt real good."
"That's nice."
"Oh, yes. It was very nice."
"I think Tre has taken over your mind," I stood up, "Now, come on Iksvanurglesnuff." I grabbed Mike's hand and pulled him up. "Time to apologize to Adie about the beer bottle incident and be a fully undrunkified, nice guy."
I dragged Mike over to the closed bedroom door, grasping the doornob in my free hand. I opened it slowly to reveal the quiet, empty hallway. Lifting one foot, I tried to step out of the room. I was just pulled back.
"Wait," Mike commanded.
"What?" I turned to face him.
"Uh...thanks...for talking to me...and helping me...I needed it," he stammered.
"It's always good to have someone to talk to," I replied.
"Yeah..." Mike trailed off before doing something I really didn't expect.
He slowly pressed his lips against mine. It was enjoyable if you didn't pay any attention to the hint pf alcohol on his breath.
Seconds later, Mike pulled away. Shooting a weak smile at me, he said, "Uh...sorry."
"Yeah," he choked out.
I steppd inside and lightly shut the door behind me. Mike was slouched on the edge of the bed, cradling his head in his hands.
"You don't sound okay..." I moved closer towards him.
"I'm fine!" Mike snapped, looking up at me. His cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were red and puffy. I've never seen such a strong man cry. I might not have known Mike personally, but he always seemed strong.
"No. You're not..." I sat down beside him. He looked away.
"I know I'm not," Mike muttered, "Sarah...she's...she's just too sensitive."
"So's Erin," I said, "She knows it, too. And she hates being that way."
"Wrong emotions always get in our way..."
"Yeah. But then...those emotions can be put somewhere else. Take me, for example," I continued, "I am very emotional. At one point in my life, I put my emotions into something dangerous. Then, I got help and now I use writing and music as an...as an aid so to speak."
"What was the dangerous aid?" Mike inquired, looking up at me again.
"I-I don't want to talk about it right now..." I replied.
"Ah..." he sighed, "Well, if it was that dangerous...atleast you stopped."
"Yeah...you're right," I smiled, "But, anyway, why don't you tell me what your thoughts are...it might help to get this off your chest."
"Alright..." Mike agreed, "Well...Sarah...she--For her...to know who you were...it wasn't important. And what she said...wasn't--it wasn't the right thing to say. How could she say that I couldn't be trusted? Nothing happened between us. That-that just shows that Sarah and I...aren't meant to be together."
"I'm sorry..." I mumbled, "I'm sorry that I was there. I'm sorry that I slammed into you. I'm sorry you bought me that coffee. I'm sorry I said I'd see you some other time...I'm sorry that I'm babbling about being sorry."
"You shouldn't apologize," Mike reassured me, "You didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault,"
"That's what Adrienne said."
"Well, she's right."
"I know. It doesn't mean that I don't still feel bad," I told Mike.
"Well, someone can always feel guilty for something," he replied.
"But I'm really sorry that this happened," I murmured, bowing my head.
"Look at me," Mike commanded. I didn't budge. "Look. At. Me." He lifted my chin up with his hand so we made eye contact. "You didn't do a thing. Trust me on this one. I'm not just saying this so I don't make you feel bad. I am speaking the truth. You didn't do a thing. So don't beat yourself up for it."
I nodded slightly as his arm dropped down onto the bed.
"I told you I was emotional," I chuckled.
"Everyone is."
"Yeah...I guess so..."
"Listen...this has been bugging the fuck out of me," Mike blurted out, "I know earlier I was pissed. And I know that I scared you. And I'm sorry for that."
"It's alright...Erin gets that way when she's drunk, too. So I'm used to it," I said, "That's why I stay sober...most of the time."
"Speaking of sober...I feel undrunkified right now."
"Undrunkified?"
"Yeah. It's when you're slightly tipsy but not fully piss ass drunk. Duh," Mike answered.
"Riight...I guess it is true that you learn something new everyday," I sighed.
"Yep," he slung an arm on my shoulder, "Like the other day, I learned how to walk. It was so awesome...until I fell up the steps...which hurt real good."
"That's nice."
"Oh, yes. It was very nice."
"I think Tre has taken over your mind," I stood up, "Now, come on Iksvanurglesnuff." I grabbed Mike's hand and pulled him up. "Time to apologize to Adie about the beer bottle incident and be a fully undrunkified, nice guy."
I dragged Mike over to the closed bedroom door, grasping the doornob in my free hand. I opened it slowly to reveal the quiet, empty hallway. Lifting one foot, I tried to step out of the room. I was just pulled back.
"Wait," Mike commanded.
"What?" I turned to face him.
"Uh...thanks...for talking to me...and helping me...I needed it," he stammered.
"It's always good to have someone to talk to," I replied.
"Yeah..." Mike trailed off before doing something I really didn't expect.
He slowly pressed his lips against mine. It was enjoyable if you didn't pay any attention to the hint pf alcohol on his breath.
Seconds later, Mike pulled away. Shooting a weak smile at me, he said, "Uh...sorry."
