The Waiting UnKnown, chapter 10
Somehow, Billie Joe managed to bring himself to his feet. He turned to comfort his wife, who was staring straight ahead, in to nothingness. She gripped his hands so tightly as he led her to a chair, both their knuckles turned white.
Bonnie and Mike still stood a respectful distance away in shocked silence.
Mike was the first to break it. "You think Jake will be okay?"
"We can only hope so. It didn't get this bad with Tara. Somebody really fucked something up to do this to him." Bonnie said, rubbing her temples.
"This gives whole new meaning to the idea of 'the waiting unknown'." Mike mused, and his voice was husky with pent up emotion.
"Yeah. That's exactly what having a child this ill is." Bonnie said, sounding like she was mentally in another time and place.
"It's not fucking fair. No parent should ever have to worry about losing a child." There was a definite catch in the bassists voice and his blue eyes shone with tears. "Especially not Billie Joe. He lost his dad to cancer when he so young. He
doesn't need that pain again." Mike punctuated his sentence with a small punch to the nearest wall.
"Nobody does." Bonnie said, still only half in the present.
Before anything more could be said, Dr. Wales, who'd been off duty but came in especially for Jakob came up to Billie Joe who was holding Adrienne who had cried herself to sleep. Billie Joe gently woke his wife up, and Mike and Bonnie moved closer.
"Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong, I have very good news. We managed bring down the fever that was causing your son's convulsions. He's asleep peacefully now. We'll keep him in ICU for a few more hours, if he remains stable, we will move him to a regular room and keep him for 24 hours for observation, and if everything checks out, as I believe it should, he'll be ready to return to his normal life."
The collective let out breaths they hadn't realized they were holding.
"I can let one parent back there now, for 15 minutes, then the other one, and then I'd like to let him rest for a while. Once we move him out of ICU, regular hours apply."
"Can I go back first, Adie?" Billie Joe turned to his wife, who was now crying happy tears. She nodded.
Billie Joe followed Dr. Wales back to his son. "15 Minutes." Dr. Wales whispered.
Billie Joe nodded, and entered the room. Seeing his son surrounded by wires and machines made Billie shudder. He pulled up the nearest chair, and sat beside his son, holding the little boys hand. "You gave us quite a scare there, little man." He whispered, before turning his attention to beyond the ceiling. "Please. Don't take him. He's far too young." He whispered to the nothingness, before turning to his son. The small boy's eyes fluttered open.
"Daddy?" He whispered
"Hey sport, how are you feeling?"
"Better." Jakob seemed unsure of where he was and why.
"You got really sick from your medicine." Billie Joe answered his son's unasked question. "But you're gonna be fine."
"Daddy? Did I get sick because I wished last night that I wouldn't get better?" Jakob looked up at his father, eyes questioning.
"What do you mean?" Billie asked, brow furrowed in heavy concentration.
"Last night, I heard mommy and you yelling. And you said you wanted to go back on the road 'cause I was getting better. And I wished I wouldn't get better. I like having you home Daddy, but I'm sorry to worry you." Jakob then broke down, the stress of the guilt he had built up getting to him.
"Oh, Jaky, it's not your fault. Not at all." Billie Joe took his son carefully in his arms.
"It's not? I've wished that before." Jakob still seemed unconvinced
"No, Jakob not at all." Billie Joe whispered, kissing his son gently on the forehead. "Let's not think about that now, though. Let's worry about getting better."
Jakob nuzzled his head against his father's chest, and let out a few more whimpers before falling back into a peaceful sleep. Billie Joe held his son gently, lost in his own thoughts, for the rest of his allotted time.
After Adrienne had her time, and Billie Joe dragged her away, the two quickly met up with Mike and Bonnie, before heading home to share the good news with their eldest son.
*
In the following weeks, Jakob told every person that would listen about his experience in the hospital, until his mother threatened to take away 1 day of Playstation for every time he was caught telling it, even enlisting the help of his teachers at school. That curbed it really quickly.
While his son was busy being a mini-celebrity in his second grade class, Billie Joe was planning to go back on the road. There'd been an Armstrong family meeting, which had pushed him closer to going back to what he loved. But what really done it was a very encouraging meeting with Dr. Wales just a week and a day after the scare.
*
"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong, I've been reviewing Jakob's files since the incident a week ago. And, while that was frightening, it actually proved something very positive. It turns out; we gave Jakob his normal chemotherapy dose, but misread the past numbers. He actually is doing very well. That's why the reaction. I don't want you to get your hopes up, things can change, but, if all goes well, by Christmas time, Jakob could very well be in remission."
Adrienne had broken down into joyous hysterics. And that's when Billie Joe had started to make plans to go back onto the road.
*
"So, should we make this just a small thing, just in the states, or should we make it big, world wide?" Mike asked, as he sat with Billie Joe, Tre, the Jasons and Ronny, in the back of Mike's coffee shop.
"I don't know. I mean, I did promise Jakob I'd try to be home more. But we do kinda owe it to some places overseas since we cancelled so suddenly." Billie Joe said.
"I say go world wide. I mean, if we are giving 25 percent of the profits to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and 25% to a charity that is local to the place we are performing then we should perform in as many places as possible." Jason W. spoke up.
"Yeah. And you know, we can start in the states, and take it slow. You know, like do some dates, take like a month, and then do some more, take some time. Not rush around like mad men. It's not like we don't have the clout to do it." Tre declared.
The band stayed until well past the normal closing time, after Mike had promised the star struck but slightly annoyed 20 something manager that he'd leave a note for the opener.
*
"Oh... I'm sorry... I'm sure it will all work out for the best... you'll be able to find a match... what about her father? Isn't there some kinda way to contact him?" Adie was saying on the phone when Billie Joe came in. He approached to give her a kiss, but she waved him off.
Billie went and changed.
When he came back down, Adie was off the phone. She was sitting on the couch, staring into space.
"Adie?" He asked, sitting next to her
"That was Janine. Tara's getting worse. They're already using the strongest Chemo they can. All that's left is a bone-marrow transplant." Adie's deep eyes seemed focused about 5,000 miles away or the equivalent there of in time. "I keep thinking Billie. Jakob could get worse again. Or get better then relapse. I don't like not knowing. I don't like the fact that constantly now; this is hanging over his head."
"Only if you let it be. Look, nothing in this world is certain. I learned that at 10. Yes, Jakob could get worse, like Tara has. Or he could get better and stay better and live a normal life. We have to just... wait and see." Billie Joe took his wife's hands in his, surprised at how they shook. "Why focus on the negative that hasn't even happened yet, instead of enjoying the positive that is?"
Adie seemed to consider that for a second, as she leaned up against her husband. "So, switching subjects, how much longer before you go back on the road?"
"I'm not sure yet." Billie Joe said with a gentle kiss to the top of his wife's head
"Oh, I was kinda hoping you'd know. I'd like to know how much longer I have before you disappear for months on end." Adie half-whispered, nestling more into her husband's chest.
"First of all, it's always an option for you and the kids to come on tour with us. Second, we agreed to slow down. Take a month or two and do a bunch of shows, then come back for a month." Billie Joe answered.
" I like that plan. Though, I uh, am gonna miss the nights of hot passionate love making we do before hand to make up for the time we have to be apart." Adrienne said, twirling a dreadlock around her finger, in a cute yet seductive manner.
"Well, I personally believe we are long over due for some of that any way." Billie Joe said, gathering his wife in his arms. Adie squealed in surprise and delight as her husband whisked her up the stairs, to a night that would wash all the worries and stress of the past few weeks from both their minds.
Bonnie and Mike still stood a respectful distance away in shocked silence.
Mike was the first to break it. "You think Jake will be okay?"
"We can only hope so. It didn't get this bad with Tara. Somebody really fucked something up to do this to him." Bonnie said, rubbing her temples.
"This gives whole new meaning to the idea of 'the waiting unknown'." Mike mused, and his voice was husky with pent up emotion.
"Yeah. That's exactly what having a child this ill is." Bonnie said, sounding like she was mentally in another time and place.
"It's not fucking fair. No parent should ever have to worry about losing a child." There was a definite catch in the bassists voice and his blue eyes shone with tears. "Especially not Billie Joe. He lost his dad to cancer when he so young. He
doesn't need that pain again." Mike punctuated his sentence with a small punch to the nearest wall.
"Nobody does." Bonnie said, still only half in the present.
Before anything more could be said, Dr. Wales, who'd been off duty but came in especially for Jakob came up to Billie Joe who was holding Adrienne who had cried herself to sleep. Billie Joe gently woke his wife up, and Mike and Bonnie moved closer.
"Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong, I have very good news. We managed bring down the fever that was causing your son's convulsions. He's asleep peacefully now. We'll keep him in ICU for a few more hours, if he remains stable, we will move him to a regular room and keep him for 24 hours for observation, and if everything checks out, as I believe it should, he'll be ready to return to his normal life."
The collective let out breaths they hadn't realized they were holding.
"I can let one parent back there now, for 15 minutes, then the other one, and then I'd like to let him rest for a while. Once we move him out of ICU, regular hours apply."
"Can I go back first, Adie?" Billie Joe turned to his wife, who was now crying happy tears. She nodded.
Billie Joe followed Dr. Wales back to his son. "15 Minutes." Dr. Wales whispered.
Billie Joe nodded, and entered the room. Seeing his son surrounded by wires and machines made Billie shudder. He pulled up the nearest chair, and sat beside his son, holding the little boys hand. "You gave us quite a scare there, little man." He whispered, before turning his attention to beyond the ceiling. "Please. Don't take him. He's far too young." He whispered to the nothingness, before turning to his son. The small boy's eyes fluttered open.
"Daddy?" He whispered
"Hey sport, how are you feeling?"
"Better." Jakob seemed unsure of where he was and why.
"You got really sick from your medicine." Billie Joe answered his son's unasked question. "But you're gonna be fine."
"Daddy? Did I get sick because I wished last night that I wouldn't get better?" Jakob looked up at his father, eyes questioning.
"What do you mean?" Billie asked, brow furrowed in heavy concentration.
"Last night, I heard mommy and you yelling. And you said you wanted to go back on the road 'cause I was getting better. And I wished I wouldn't get better. I like having you home Daddy, but I'm sorry to worry you." Jakob then broke down, the stress of the guilt he had built up getting to him.
"Oh, Jaky, it's not your fault. Not at all." Billie Joe took his son carefully in his arms.
"It's not? I've wished that before." Jakob still seemed unconvinced
"No, Jakob not at all." Billie Joe whispered, kissing his son gently on the forehead. "Let's not think about that now, though. Let's worry about getting better."
Jakob nuzzled his head against his father's chest, and let out a few more whimpers before falling back into a peaceful sleep. Billie Joe held his son gently, lost in his own thoughts, for the rest of his allotted time.
After Adrienne had her time, and Billie Joe dragged her away, the two quickly met up with Mike and Bonnie, before heading home to share the good news with their eldest son.
*
In the following weeks, Jakob told every person that would listen about his experience in the hospital, until his mother threatened to take away 1 day of Playstation for every time he was caught telling it, even enlisting the help of his teachers at school. That curbed it really quickly.
While his son was busy being a mini-celebrity in his second grade class, Billie Joe was planning to go back on the road. There'd been an Armstrong family meeting, which had pushed him closer to going back to what he loved. But what really done it was a very encouraging meeting with Dr. Wales just a week and a day after the scare.
*
"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong, I've been reviewing Jakob's files since the incident a week ago. And, while that was frightening, it actually proved something very positive. It turns out; we gave Jakob his normal chemotherapy dose, but misread the past numbers. He actually is doing very well. That's why the reaction. I don't want you to get your hopes up, things can change, but, if all goes well, by Christmas time, Jakob could very well be in remission."
Adrienne had broken down into joyous hysterics. And that's when Billie Joe had started to make plans to go back onto the road.
*
"So, should we make this just a small thing, just in the states, or should we make it big, world wide?" Mike asked, as he sat with Billie Joe, Tre, the Jasons and Ronny, in the back of Mike's coffee shop.
"I don't know. I mean, I did promise Jakob I'd try to be home more. But we do kinda owe it to some places overseas since we cancelled so suddenly." Billie Joe said.
"I say go world wide. I mean, if we are giving 25 percent of the profits to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and 25% to a charity that is local to the place we are performing then we should perform in as many places as possible." Jason W. spoke up.
"Yeah. And you know, we can start in the states, and take it slow. You know, like do some dates, take like a month, and then do some more, take some time. Not rush around like mad men. It's not like we don't have the clout to do it." Tre declared.
The band stayed until well past the normal closing time, after Mike had promised the star struck but slightly annoyed 20 something manager that he'd leave a note for the opener.
*
"Oh... I'm sorry... I'm sure it will all work out for the best... you'll be able to find a match... what about her father? Isn't there some kinda way to contact him?" Adie was saying on the phone when Billie Joe came in. He approached to give her a kiss, but she waved him off.
Billie went and changed.
When he came back down, Adie was off the phone. She was sitting on the couch, staring into space.
"Adie?" He asked, sitting next to her
"That was Janine. Tara's getting worse. They're already using the strongest Chemo they can. All that's left is a bone-marrow transplant." Adie's deep eyes seemed focused about 5,000 miles away or the equivalent there of in time. "I keep thinking Billie. Jakob could get worse again. Or get better then relapse. I don't like not knowing. I don't like the fact that constantly now; this is hanging over his head."
"Only if you let it be. Look, nothing in this world is certain. I learned that at 10. Yes, Jakob could get worse, like Tara has. Or he could get better and stay better and live a normal life. We have to just... wait and see." Billie Joe took his wife's hands in his, surprised at how they shook. "Why focus on the negative that hasn't even happened yet, instead of enjoying the positive that is?"
Adie seemed to consider that for a second, as she leaned up against her husband. "So, switching subjects, how much longer before you go back on the road?"
"I'm not sure yet." Billie Joe said with a gentle kiss to the top of his wife's head
"Oh, I was kinda hoping you'd know. I'd like to know how much longer I have before you disappear for months on end." Adie half-whispered, nestling more into her husband's chest.
"First of all, it's always an option for you and the kids to come on tour with us. Second, we agreed to slow down. Take a month or two and do a bunch of shows, then come back for a month." Billie Joe answered.
" I like that plan. Though, I uh, am gonna miss the nights of hot passionate love making we do before hand to make up for the time we have to be apart." Adrienne said, twirling a dreadlock around her finger, in a cute yet seductive manner.
"Well, I personally believe we are long over due for some of that any way." Billie Joe said, gathering his wife in his arms. Adie squealed in surprise and delight as her husband whisked her up the stairs, to a night that would wash all the worries and stress of the past few weeks from both their minds.
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