Driving Under the Influ, chapter 3
I woke up early next morning, in my bed, next to Billie. I looked shocked at him. "BILLIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I yelled. He slowly opened his eyes. "What?" he asked. "What are you doing in my bed?!" I replied. "Am I in your bed?"
"What the fuck did we do last night?!" I asked, without answering his question. "I dunno.. I know we were quite drunk but.." He didn't finished. "Get the fuck out of MY bed!" I yelled. "Sush! Go!" "Alright, alright, I'm on my way," he said, dragging himself up. "Aaah...?" I said as I looked around me. "Geeze.. Billie, before you leave, would you mind cleaning up here?" I said. "No, I wouldn't. I am going to fuck off, remember?" he smiled and went downstairs.
"I'm going to remember this," I mumbeled to myself, while starting to clean up. "Ouch!" I said, holding my stomack. "Oh my god!" I though shocked. I picked up my phone and searched for Billie's number. "Hello?" he finally said. "Billiee.." I began. "Yeeeaaah?" he said, trying to sound like me, but for once I didn't care. "I have some new's." "Alright, I don't wanna hear it," he replied. "But Billiee..." I said. "Alright, alright.. You got me. Go on, tell." "Well.." I started. "The first thing.. Is the good thing. I did cleaned the house." Billie laughed.
"YOU cleaned the house Tré?" "Yes, Billie, but that's not the importaint one. Cause here's the bad new.." "Are you sure I wanna hear?" Billie said in the other end. "No, but.. I still need to tell you." I replied fast. "Okey, okey. But hurry, I don't have all the time in the world." "I know Bill.. But I've got a question before I tell you.." "What question?" "Did we fuck last night?" I said, biting my lip.
"Well.. We were pretty drunk and.. Yeah, I think we did," Billie replied. "Okey, here it comes.. I'm pregnant!" I said. It became a big pause. Then Billie started laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked, angrily. "Tré, Tré, Tré," Billie laughed. "You do understand that men can't be pregnant." "Yeah, but.." "But? But what? Tré, you aren't pragnant," Billie laughed. "But what if I'm the first pragnant man ever?" I asked. Billie laughed more. "Tré.. What make's you think that you're pragnant?" he asked me. "Uh.. My stomack hurt's.." I replied. "Tré, Tré, Tré.. Have you eaten today honey?" Billie laughed. "Noo.." I answered nervously.
"Your stomack might hurt's because you're hungry?" Billie laughed again. "So I am not pregnant afterall?" I asked happiley. "As I told you; men can't be pregnant," Billie replied, still laughing. "Are you sure?" I asked him, knowing he was right, but.. "You can alway's go to the doctor if you're so sure about it," Billie teased. I rolled my eye's. "Very funny Bill." "Me? Funny? Wow, who's talking?" Billie laughed. "I can be serious!" I said. "You? Serious?" he laughed again. "Well..." I said, thinking. "Go eat something Tré," Billie said.
"Alright, bye." I said ad hung up. "Aaah, I was so sure I was the first pregnant man ever," I said to myself. "AHOOOOOOOOM!" I could hear from upstair's. "What the fuck was that?" I thought, having a panic attack. "AAAAHOOOOOOOM!" There it was again. "Holy Jesus in a toaster!" I thought. "There's a murder waiting for me upstairs!" I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I decided to call Mike..
"What the fuck did we do last night?!" I asked, without answering his question. "I dunno.. I know we were quite drunk but.." He didn't finished. "Get the fuck out of MY bed!" I yelled. "Sush! Go!" "Alright, alright, I'm on my way," he said, dragging himself up. "Aaah...?" I said as I looked around me. "Geeze.. Billie, before you leave, would you mind cleaning up here?" I said. "No, I wouldn't. I am going to fuck off, remember?" he smiled and went downstairs.
"I'm going to remember this," I mumbeled to myself, while starting to clean up. "Ouch!" I said, holding my stomack. "Oh my god!" I though shocked. I picked up my phone and searched for Billie's number. "Hello?" he finally said. "Billiee.." I began. "Yeeeaaah?" he said, trying to sound like me, but for once I didn't care. "I have some new's." "Alright, I don't wanna hear it," he replied. "But Billiee..." I said. "Alright, alright.. You got me. Go on, tell." "Well.." I started. "The first thing.. Is the good thing. I did cleaned the house." Billie laughed.
"YOU cleaned the house Tré?" "Yes, Billie, but that's not the importaint one. Cause here's the bad new.." "Are you sure I wanna hear?" Billie said in the other end. "No, but.. I still need to tell you." I replied fast. "Okey, okey. But hurry, I don't have all the time in the world." "I know Bill.. But I've got a question before I tell you.." "What question?" "Did we fuck last night?" I said, biting my lip.
"Well.. We were pretty drunk and.. Yeah, I think we did," Billie replied. "Okey, here it comes.. I'm pregnant!" I said. It became a big pause. Then Billie started laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked, angrily. "Tré, Tré, Tré," Billie laughed. "You do understand that men can't be pregnant." "Yeah, but.." "But? But what? Tré, you aren't pragnant," Billie laughed. "But what if I'm the first pragnant man ever?" I asked. Billie laughed more. "Tré.. What make's you think that you're pragnant?" he asked me. "Uh.. My stomack hurt's.." I replied. "Tré, Tré, Tré.. Have you eaten today honey?" Billie laughed. "Noo.." I answered nervously.
"Your stomack might hurt's because you're hungry?" Billie laughed again. "So I am not pregnant afterall?" I asked happiley. "As I told you; men can't be pregnant," Billie replied, still laughing. "Are you sure?" I asked him, knowing he was right, but.. "You can alway's go to the doctor if you're so sure about it," Billie teased. I rolled my eye's. "Very funny Bill." "Me? Funny? Wow, who's talking?" Billie laughed. "I can be serious!" I said. "You? Serious?" he laughed again. "Well..." I said, thinking. "Go eat something Tré," Billie said.
"Alright, bye." I said ad hung up. "Aaah, I was so sure I was the first pregnant man ever," I said to myself. "AHOOOOOOOOM!" I could hear from upstair's. "What the fuck was that?" I thought, having a panic attack. "AAAAHOOOOOOOM!" There it was again. "Holy Jesus in a toaster!" I thought. "There's a murder waiting for me upstairs!" I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I decided to call Mike..
