Always Remember Me, chapter 4
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-Recap-
Today is the last day I will see Billie, or at least at this age. I have to learn how to live, how much we loved each other, and all the things we did together.
-End of Recap-
As I watched Billie as we drove away I could see my mom glance at me from time to time. I took one final wave and looked at Billie, then turned away.
"He's not worth it dear, you'll find new friends."
"How dare you say he's not worth it mom! He's more than a friend to me!" I turned away from her in disgust and looked out the window. It was going to be a long trip.
(At my home in Canada)
It was the third day on our trip and we just got to our house now. I grabbed my bags from the car and walked into our new small and shabby house. As I stood in the front door I set my bags and and walked around the house. It was like any other house, a small kitchen, a small family room/entertainment room, a dining room and a bathroom. Upstairs there was two small cramped bedrooms, they both had their own bathrooms. I walked into the smaller room and looked around in disgust. It had brownish green walls and a yellow dusty bed. The bed was rock hard and the bathroom looked like it hadn't been cleaned in ages.
Sighing, I took my bags and put them on my bed. I unlocked them and started putting everything in its proper place. The movers were already there, they only had the dressers and stuff to move, they couldn't move the bed. My next step was to actually clean the room. I don't know how long I was cleaning for but my mom came up with Chinese food and a bag of booze in her other hand.
"Hungry?" I nodded and stopped what I was doing. Grabbing a plate, I stuffed my plate full of food.
"Wow, you really cleaned this room up."
"Yeah, but I need new stuff in here. Like new coloured walls and a new bed for instance."
I tried to say with a bit of a laugh. She just nodded. My mom set down the food and walked out of the room. Sitting there eating my food for a while I thought about Billie, then I remembered, what school was I going to?
"Mom!?" I ran as fast as I could into her room. When we drove here there was no school to be seen, I thought I was probably going to be homeschooled.
"Yeah?" I walked into her room, it smelt so bad, like Mary Jane or something. I screwed up my face.
"Where exactly is this school that I am going too?"
"Uhhmm, right behind our house. If you look out your window it shouldn't be too far from here. Why?"
"Oh, okay good. If I got homeschooled I would kill you." She laughed at my response. "Yeah, well, you're not."
"And mom, stop smoking that crap!"
Running out of her room I gasped because I finally got to fresh air. I spun around and closed her door. Looking at my watch I yawned, it was already 9 at night. It was a long day so I decided to go to sleep. Putting on my pajymas I thought about the past. 'I've been sleeping a lot lately.. ' I thought. I shrugged and climbed into bed. I closed my eyes for a few seconds then sat up in bed. I ran over to my suitcase and threw open the lid. I pulled out a picture frame. It was of me, my mom, and my dad. I smiled and my eyes swelled with tears.
Staring at the photo I attempted to sit on my suitcase when I felt something hard in the lid. 'huh? ' I whispered to myself, I never put anything in the lid of my suitcase. I unzipped it then pulled out another picture frame. I nearly dropped the picture, I started to cry a lot now. It was of me and Billie. It looked as if he had made the picture himself because it had drawn hearts on it. It read 'True love' and 'Always together'. I sniffled looking at this picture then I remembered Billie had given me his e-mail. I checked in my pockets where I put it, it wasn't there. I started to worry. I dropped the picture on my bed and it flipped over. On the other side was a piece of paper. It had his phone number and e-mail on it and it said "Always remember me Danielle! I love you and always will, Love Billie Joe." I set the picture frames beside my alarm clock beside my bed. Once again I laid in bed and cried myself to sleep.
---
It was a Sunday morning and there was school tomorrow so I decided to get ready. After I went downstairs and got some breakfast. As I finished eating my breakfast I ran over to the phone and dialed Billie's number.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is Billie there?"
"Yes just one moment please." It sounded like one of his brothers that answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi Billie! It's Danielle!"
"Omigosh Hi Danielle! When are you going to come visit me?"
"Uhmm Billie about that, I need to tell you something."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't live anywhere near you, I'll never see you again.." I said holding back forcing tears.
"Billie? You there?" All of a sudden I could hear silent tears.
"Billie I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen."
"Listen Danielle I gotta go. Bye"
"Okay lo-" Billie turned off the phone before I could even say I love you. I slowly put down the phone. Slowly I started to see we were drifting apart.
As the weeks went by I only called him once a week, then that turned into once a month. Then once a year. I still loved him but I haven't talked to him in 3 years.
----17 Years Later----
"Okay, I'll talk to you later Kirstin, I gotta get home." I was 29 years old.
I haven't done anything in my life ever since I moved a few years back. I worked for Rolling Stones magazine. I pulled my diskman out of my purse and played a CD called Kerplunk. I sang along to all the songs as I drove home to my little house. As I walked inside my house I put my bags on my bed and the phone rang.
I ran out of my bedroom and answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi is John there?"
"No, sorry he's not home at the moment can I take a message?"
"Tell him Mike called."
"Okay, byebye."
"Thanks bye."
I hung up the phone and went into the kitchen and made myself some food.
The phone rang again. I sighed and went to answer it, but someone else already answered it. I went over to the phone and slowly listened to what was being said.
"Hello?"
"Hi is, is uhhm. Is Danielle there?"
"Yes, just one moment please."
"I got it!" I yelled from the kitchin.
"Hello, Danielle speaking."
"Danielle? Is that really you?"
"Who is this?"
"I-It's Billie!"
My eyes widened, remembering my old middle school love.
"B-Billie Joe Armstrong?"
"YEAH! That's me!"
"OMIGOSH BILLIE! I haven't talked to you in like... 17 years!"
"I know, I've spent all day looking and calling all the Danielle's in the phone book." I laughed at him.
"And uhmm, Danielle. Who answered the phone?"
"Billie.. That was my husband..." I heard the phone on the other line clatter.
"Billie, you there?"
"Uhh, yeah."
"Billie I'm sorry. But you can't expect me to still love you after I haven't talked to you or seen you for 17 years!"
"Hey hunny, come dance with me! It's your favourite song by Green Day! 2000 light years away!" My husband John Ferard.
"Yeah, in a minute hunny!" I yelled back at him.
"Sorry about that Billie."
"Y-you listen to Green Day?"
"DUH! I am in love with them, their music is amazing." I said with a laugh.
"You know my friend Mike?", "Yeahh..." I replied slowly.
"Well, we met a guy named Tre' Cool... And well. WE'RE GREEN DAY!" My mouth dropped open.
"Are you joking me!?"
"Nope!" He said with a laugh.
I turned off my stove and went into my room and closed the door.
-3 hours later-
"Hey Billie, you think we can get together some time? Cause I gotta go. John is waiting on me."
"Uhh, yeah. I'll give you my number and address."
"K!" I said cheerfully. I ran around the room looking for a pen and paper. I scribbled his number and address on it then hung up. I smiled and took the old picture of us out of my desk. His arm was around me and we were 12 years old. His head was leaned against mine and we were holding hands. I smiled and tears slowly dripped down my face. I felt like I still knew him, and maybe even still loved him. The rest of the day I made dinner and then went to bed.
The next morning was my day off so I went shopping. On my way there, guess who I ran into? That's right Billie. I ended up going home with him and eating dinner. I helped do the dishes with him and we went to go watch a movie when I decided to call John to see how he was doing. I called home but he didn't answer. So I called his cell phone and it did get answered.
"Hello?" Came a woman's cheerfull reply.
"Hi? Is John there?"
"Yes just one moment please."
'"John, dear, phone's for you!"
"Okay thanks Jessie babe." ' I heard the phone being passed around, tears swelled in my eyes and Billie looked worried.
"Hello?" I sobbed into the phone.
"Who is that John?"
"D-Dani! You don't understand. She's just a friend!"
"Yeah to hell she is!" Billie walked up to me and rubbed my back, I was in tears now.
"How could you cheat on me John!", I said it like it was, "I gave up Billie for you somehow John, I was going to search for him to see him one last time." Billie stopped rubbing my back and looked at me in the eyes.
"Doesn't sound like you went bowling with the guys. John, I want a divorce. I don't know how I could ever love you."
I hung up the phone and cried into my hands. Billie pulled me into a soft hug and sat me down on his couch. I set my head on his shoulders and he tried his best to comfort me. He got up from the couch to go get some ice cream then I stopped him, "Billie, can I stay with you for a while. You know, until I get all of this sorted out..." He nodded.
"Of course." He went into the kitchin and pulled the ice cream out of the freezer and got two spoons for us. Billie plopped onto the couch right beside me and he dared to put his arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder. We ate the ice cream and finished the bucket, we felt so sick after. I yawned and stretched on the couch.
"You wanna sleep in my bed or on the couch?"
"The couch is fine Billie." He nodded and went to get blankets for me.
"Hey Billie.."
"Yeah?"
"You wanna help me pack up my things tomorrow, just like old times?"
He laughed and smiled at me, more beautifully then ever.
"I'd love to." He draped the blankets over me and handed me a pillow. I was just about to fall asleep when Billie hugged me.
"Thanks for everything Billie."
"You deserve it. I'm guessing we're even, we both helped each other out."
I looked at him puzzled.
"My eye, remember?"
I laughed, "Oh yeah!"
"Well good night Billie."
"Night."
I leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips.
He turned to go when I stopped him, "Billie.."
"Yeah Dani."
"I love you." I said smiling at him. He smiled back at me.
"I love you too." He said and walked into his room.
Today is the last day I will see Billie, or at least at this age. I have to learn how to live, how much we loved each other, and all the things we did together.
-End of Recap-
As I watched Billie as we drove away I could see my mom glance at me from time to time. I took one final wave and looked at Billie, then turned away.
"He's not worth it dear, you'll find new friends."
"How dare you say he's not worth it mom! He's more than a friend to me!" I turned away from her in disgust and looked out the window. It was going to be a long trip.
(At my home in Canada)
It was the third day on our trip and we just got to our house now. I grabbed my bags from the car and walked into our new small and shabby house. As I stood in the front door I set my bags and and walked around the house. It was like any other house, a small kitchen, a small family room/entertainment room, a dining room and a bathroom. Upstairs there was two small cramped bedrooms, they both had their own bathrooms. I walked into the smaller room and looked around in disgust. It had brownish green walls and a yellow dusty bed. The bed was rock hard and the bathroom looked like it hadn't been cleaned in ages.
Sighing, I took my bags and put them on my bed. I unlocked them and started putting everything in its proper place. The movers were already there, they only had the dressers and stuff to move, they couldn't move the bed. My next step was to actually clean the room. I don't know how long I was cleaning for but my mom came up with Chinese food and a bag of booze in her other hand.
"Hungry?" I nodded and stopped what I was doing. Grabbing a plate, I stuffed my plate full of food.
"Wow, you really cleaned this room up."
"Yeah, but I need new stuff in here. Like new coloured walls and a new bed for instance."
I tried to say with a bit of a laugh. She just nodded. My mom set down the food and walked out of the room. Sitting there eating my food for a while I thought about Billie, then I remembered, what school was I going to?
"Mom!?" I ran as fast as I could into her room. When we drove here there was no school to be seen, I thought I was probably going to be homeschooled.
"Yeah?" I walked into her room, it smelt so bad, like Mary Jane or something. I screwed up my face.
"Where exactly is this school that I am going too?"
"Uhhmm, right behind our house. If you look out your window it shouldn't be too far from here. Why?"
"Oh, okay good. If I got homeschooled I would kill you." She laughed at my response. "Yeah, well, you're not."
"And mom, stop smoking that crap!"
Running out of her room I gasped because I finally got to fresh air. I spun around and closed her door. Looking at my watch I yawned, it was already 9 at night. It was a long day so I decided to go to sleep. Putting on my pajymas I thought about the past. 'I've been sleeping a lot lately.. ' I thought. I shrugged and climbed into bed. I closed my eyes for a few seconds then sat up in bed. I ran over to my suitcase and threw open the lid. I pulled out a picture frame. It was of me, my mom, and my dad. I smiled and my eyes swelled with tears.
Staring at the photo I attempted to sit on my suitcase when I felt something hard in the lid. 'huh? ' I whispered to myself, I never put anything in the lid of my suitcase. I unzipped it then pulled out another picture frame. I nearly dropped the picture, I started to cry a lot now. It was of me and Billie. It looked as if he had made the picture himself because it had drawn hearts on it. It read 'True love' and 'Always together'. I sniffled looking at this picture then I remembered Billie had given me his e-mail. I checked in my pockets where I put it, it wasn't there. I started to worry. I dropped the picture on my bed and it flipped over. On the other side was a piece of paper. It had his phone number and e-mail on it and it said "Always remember me Danielle! I love you and always will, Love Billie Joe." I set the picture frames beside my alarm clock beside my bed. Once again I laid in bed and cried myself to sleep.
---
It was a Sunday morning and there was school tomorrow so I decided to get ready. After I went downstairs and got some breakfast. As I finished eating my breakfast I ran over to the phone and dialed Billie's number.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is Billie there?"
"Yes just one moment please." It sounded like one of his brothers that answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi Billie! It's Danielle!"
"Omigosh Hi Danielle! When are you going to come visit me?"
"Uhmm Billie about that, I need to tell you something."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't live anywhere near you, I'll never see you again.." I said holding back forcing tears.
"Billie? You there?" All of a sudden I could hear silent tears.
"Billie I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen."
"Listen Danielle I gotta go. Bye"
"Okay lo-" Billie turned off the phone before I could even say I love you. I slowly put down the phone. Slowly I started to see we were drifting apart.
As the weeks went by I only called him once a week, then that turned into once a month. Then once a year. I still loved him but I haven't talked to him in 3 years.
----17 Years Later----
"Okay, I'll talk to you later Kirstin, I gotta get home." I was 29 years old.
I haven't done anything in my life ever since I moved a few years back. I worked for Rolling Stones magazine. I pulled my diskman out of my purse and played a CD called Kerplunk. I sang along to all the songs as I drove home to my little house. As I walked inside my house I put my bags on my bed and the phone rang.
I ran out of my bedroom and answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi is John there?"
"No, sorry he's not home at the moment can I take a message?"
"Tell him Mike called."
"Okay, byebye."
"Thanks bye."
I hung up the phone and went into the kitchen and made myself some food.
The phone rang again. I sighed and went to answer it, but someone else already answered it. I went over to the phone and slowly listened to what was being said.
"Hello?"
"Hi is, is uhhm. Is Danielle there?"
"Yes, just one moment please."
"I got it!" I yelled from the kitchin.
"Hello, Danielle speaking."
"Danielle? Is that really you?"
"Who is this?"
"I-It's Billie!"
My eyes widened, remembering my old middle school love.
"B-Billie Joe Armstrong?"
"YEAH! That's me!"
"OMIGOSH BILLIE! I haven't talked to you in like... 17 years!"
"I know, I've spent all day looking and calling all the Danielle's in the phone book." I laughed at him.
"And uhmm, Danielle. Who answered the phone?"
"Billie.. That was my husband..." I heard the phone on the other line clatter.
"Billie, you there?"
"Uhh, yeah."
"Billie I'm sorry. But you can't expect me to still love you after I haven't talked to you or seen you for 17 years!"
"Hey hunny, come dance with me! It's your favourite song by Green Day! 2000 light years away!" My husband John Ferard.
"Yeah, in a minute hunny!" I yelled back at him.
"Sorry about that Billie."
"Y-you listen to Green Day?"
"DUH! I am in love with them, their music is amazing." I said with a laugh.
"You know my friend Mike?", "Yeahh..." I replied slowly.
"Well, we met a guy named Tre' Cool... And well. WE'RE GREEN DAY!" My mouth dropped open.
"Are you joking me!?"
"Nope!" He said with a laugh.
I turned off my stove and went into my room and closed the door.
-3 hours later-
"Hey Billie, you think we can get together some time? Cause I gotta go. John is waiting on me."
"Uhh, yeah. I'll give you my number and address."
"K!" I said cheerfully. I ran around the room looking for a pen and paper. I scribbled his number and address on it then hung up. I smiled and took the old picture of us out of my desk. His arm was around me and we were 12 years old. His head was leaned against mine and we were holding hands. I smiled and tears slowly dripped down my face. I felt like I still knew him, and maybe even still loved him. The rest of the day I made dinner and then went to bed.
The next morning was my day off so I went shopping. On my way there, guess who I ran into? That's right Billie. I ended up going home with him and eating dinner. I helped do the dishes with him and we went to go watch a movie when I decided to call John to see how he was doing. I called home but he didn't answer. So I called his cell phone and it did get answered.
"Hello?" Came a woman's cheerfull reply.
"Hi? Is John there?"
"Yes just one moment please."
'"John, dear, phone's for you!"
"Okay thanks Jessie babe." ' I heard the phone being passed around, tears swelled in my eyes and Billie looked worried.
"Hello?" I sobbed into the phone.
"Who is that John?"
"D-Dani! You don't understand. She's just a friend!"
"Yeah to hell she is!" Billie walked up to me and rubbed my back, I was in tears now.
"How could you cheat on me John!", I said it like it was, "I gave up Billie for you somehow John, I was going to search for him to see him one last time." Billie stopped rubbing my back and looked at me in the eyes.
"Doesn't sound like you went bowling with the guys. John, I want a divorce. I don't know how I could ever love you."
I hung up the phone and cried into my hands. Billie pulled me into a soft hug and sat me down on his couch. I set my head on his shoulders and he tried his best to comfort me. He got up from the couch to go get some ice cream then I stopped him, "Billie, can I stay with you for a while. You know, until I get all of this sorted out..." He nodded.
"Of course." He went into the kitchin and pulled the ice cream out of the freezer and got two spoons for us. Billie plopped onto the couch right beside me and he dared to put his arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder. We ate the ice cream and finished the bucket, we felt so sick after. I yawned and stretched on the couch.
"You wanna sleep in my bed or on the couch?"
"The couch is fine Billie." He nodded and went to get blankets for me.
"Hey Billie.."
"Yeah?"
"You wanna help me pack up my things tomorrow, just like old times?"
He laughed and smiled at me, more beautifully then ever.
"I'd love to." He draped the blankets over me and handed me a pillow. I was just about to fall asleep when Billie hugged me.
"Thanks for everything Billie."
"You deserve it. I'm guessing we're even, we both helped each other out."
I looked at him puzzled.
"My eye, remember?"
I laughed, "Oh yeah!"
"Well good night Billie."
"Night."
I leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips.
He turned to go when I stopped him, "Billie.."
"Yeah Dani."
"I love you." I said smiling at him. He smiled back at me.
"I love you too." He said and walked into his room.
