Better Thank Your Lucky Stars, chapter 2
Andy and I were called inside by Billie Joe. We both picked up the picnic blanket and leftover food and strolled into the house. Something told me we should have reached the house faster, but we came in a good fifteen minutes later.
"Sanaa." Billie Joe met us in the grand hallway. "Can I talk to you privately?"
I looked at Billie Joe warily.
"What's going on?" I asked, seeing the troubled expression in his face.
"Let's go into the livingroom." I followed Billie into the other room while Adie sat down with Andy.
"Is something wrong?" I asked Billie Joe when we were in privacy.
"It's your mother."
"Yes?" I grew nervous, wondering if she was okay.
"Um..." Billie Joe swallowed hard. "She's in the hospital, Sanaa. For lung cancer. She's had it for a while now." I stood in silence, shocked. My mother had cancer?
"Is she going to be okay?" I saw Billie's eyes glaze for a moment, then he put his head down and answered,
"I don't think so." I continued to stare at him absently, still not fully absorbing what I was hearing. "Sanaa?" Billie Joe closed the distance between us and embraced me in a strong, yet feeble hug. My eyes welled with tears.
"What do you mean?" I demanded. "Is she going to live? Can I see her? Which hospital is she in?"
"Shhh..." Billie Joe rubbed my head while rocking me back and forth. I sobbed into his black T-shirt. 'Give me novocaine', I thought. Oh God, give me novocaine.
"She's at the Oakland Women's Care Center, about 5 miles away."
"Can I go see her?"
"Yes." Billie answered. "Adie and I can take you."
"Can Andy go?"
"If you want him to." I pulled away from Bilile Joe and rubbed my eyes.
"When can I go see her?"
"Whenever you would like to. Do you wanna go right now?" I nodded my head.
Billie followed me into the main parlor where Adrienne and Andy sat. They both stood when they saw us. Billie Joe walked up to Adie and hugged her.
"We're going to see Ramona now," he told her. I took Andy's hand and pulled him toward me.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Uh huh." I hugged Andy for a few moments.
"Okay, let's go, " said Billie Joe. He called Joey and Jakob downstairs and we all walked into the hallway and out the front door. I grabbed my sweatshirt on the way out. It was a cold afternoon.
***
Billie, Adie and the kids got home that night around 11:30pm, while I had stayed at the hospital. Earlier that day I had found out that my mother had only up to four days to live. However many days I had left with her, I was going to utilize my time.
There was so much I had never told my mother but had always wanted to. And now I had to do it, knowing that she could sleep away any second.
Wednesday afternoon, exactly 4 days after I had recieved the horrible news, I sat beside my mother, squeezing her frail hand. It was the worst feeling of all, seeing her so weak like this. "Sanaa, baby, you have to let go of my hand eventually."
"No, I don't," I cried.
"Baby, this is the best departure I could have had. When I leave, the last thing I'll see is you. You'll be with me forever Sanaa. Forever." I squeezed my mother's hand even harder, if that was at all possible.
Eight o' clock that night I was still beside my mother, praying that God would give her only more time. For the past 4 days we had done nothing but talk about memories, the good and the bad. Oddly enough, sometimes I wished Heaven would just take her now, so that I would not have to suffer so much seeing her like this.
She must have had the same feelings at times; only imagine, you know you are going to die any minute and every next second brings only more pain and the more realization of the life you could have continued to live. And there's nothing you can do but wait. That must be one of the worst feelings any human should have to endure.
"Sanaa." Billie Joe met us in the grand hallway. "Can I talk to you privately?"
I looked at Billie Joe warily.
"What's going on?" I asked, seeing the troubled expression in his face.
"Let's go into the livingroom." I followed Billie into the other room while Adie sat down with Andy.
"Is something wrong?" I asked Billie Joe when we were in privacy.
"It's your mother."
"Yes?" I grew nervous, wondering if she was okay.
"Um..." Billie Joe swallowed hard. "She's in the hospital, Sanaa. For lung cancer. She's had it for a while now." I stood in silence, shocked. My mother had cancer?
"Is she going to be okay?" I saw Billie's eyes glaze for a moment, then he put his head down and answered,
"I don't think so." I continued to stare at him absently, still not fully absorbing what I was hearing. "Sanaa?" Billie Joe closed the distance between us and embraced me in a strong, yet feeble hug. My eyes welled with tears.
"What do you mean?" I demanded. "Is she going to live? Can I see her? Which hospital is she in?"
"Shhh..." Billie Joe rubbed my head while rocking me back and forth. I sobbed into his black T-shirt. 'Give me novocaine', I thought. Oh God, give me novocaine.
"She's at the Oakland Women's Care Center, about 5 miles away."
"Can I go see her?"
"Yes." Billie answered. "Adie and I can take you."
"Can Andy go?"
"If you want him to." I pulled away from Bilile Joe and rubbed my eyes.
"When can I go see her?"
"Whenever you would like to. Do you wanna go right now?" I nodded my head.
Billie followed me into the main parlor where Adrienne and Andy sat. They both stood when they saw us. Billie Joe walked up to Adie and hugged her.
"We're going to see Ramona now," he told her. I took Andy's hand and pulled him toward me.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Uh huh." I hugged Andy for a few moments.
"Okay, let's go, " said Billie Joe. He called Joey and Jakob downstairs and we all walked into the hallway and out the front door. I grabbed my sweatshirt on the way out. It was a cold afternoon.
***
Billie, Adie and the kids got home that night around 11:30pm, while I had stayed at the hospital. Earlier that day I had found out that my mother had only up to four days to live. However many days I had left with her, I was going to utilize my time.
There was so much I had never told my mother but had always wanted to. And now I had to do it, knowing that she could sleep away any second.
Wednesday afternoon, exactly 4 days after I had recieved the horrible news, I sat beside my mother, squeezing her frail hand. It was the worst feeling of all, seeing her so weak like this. "Sanaa, baby, you have to let go of my hand eventually."
"No, I don't," I cried.
"Baby, this is the best departure I could have had. When I leave, the last thing I'll see is you. You'll be with me forever Sanaa. Forever." I squeezed my mother's hand even harder, if that was at all possible.
Eight o' clock that night I was still beside my mother, praying that God would give her only more time. For the past 4 days we had done nothing but talk about memories, the good and the bad. Oddly enough, sometimes I wished Heaven would just take her now, so that I would not have to suffer so much seeing her like this.
She must have had the same feelings at times; only imagine, you know you are going to die any minute and every next second brings only more pain and the more realization of the life you could have continued to live. And there's nothing you can do but wait. That must be one of the worst feelings any human should have to endure.
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