Straight Relationships Are So Boring, chapter 3
"Mike!" I call as I open his front door. His mom isn't in, so I just walk straight in. There's no answer. "Mike?"
"Charlie?" he asks, looking slightly confused as he appears at the top of his stairs. He doesn't have a shirt on, and I distinctly hear a set of footsteps following him that sound a lot like Billie's. I'm proved right as Billie's head appears, peeking over Mike's shoulder. From what I can see of him, he isn't wearing a shirt either.
Okay, so that's not really what I'd hope to walk in on them doing. The sight of the two of them there doesn't put the nicest images in my head. They seem to think the same thing, because Billie quickly disappears to Mike's room and returns wearing a top. He comes down the stairs to talk to me while Mike gets his back on.
"What's up?" he asks me as I collapse onto Mike's sofa with a sigh. I kick my feet up onto it and push a pile of cushions that were covering a stain off with them. Billie, deciding to have no regards for my personal space or comfort, pushes my feet away and sits in the space they were taking up.
"Sherri," I say, my one word explanation quite enough for him to see what I'm annoyed about. "And Dan," I add.
"Shit... is she still doing heroin?" he asks, lowering his voice even though there's no one else in the house except for us. I nod as Mike appears in the doorway. He frowns at the lack of space we've left and then shrugs, deciding that the cushions were probably the comfiest option left.
"And is Dan still, you know... ?" Mike asks, joining in the conversation without so much as a preliminary hello.
"Hurting her? Yeah. Is she still ignoring me? Pretty much," I sigh.
"Charlie, things will get better eventually," Billie says, trying to be comforting. Billie can't really do comforting - it's a bit like watching a schoolteacher try to do cool. It's wrong on so many levels.
"Stop being understanding Billie, it really doesn't suit you," I tell him with a small smile. He laughs a little at that, although I feel him glance at me to check I'm okay. Mike looks at me too, and I smile again, assuring them I'm fine. After all, I can't sit around wallowing in self pity all the time. If there's anything this shit has taught me, it's to grab hold of life by the balls and never let go.
Really, hanging around with two guys is doing me no favours. I'm getting less and less feminine by the day.
"So... " Mike says, breaking the silence that followed. "What do you guys wanna do?"
I love them for that. They don't get annoyed that I broke up their little make out session or anything; they just try and make me happy again. They really are the best friends I could ever ask for, I think. Mike even lets me stay over at his place, even though it was just going to be him and Billie. For the night, yeah. I don't want to think about what they were planning on getting up to - an empty house and two teenage boys who are dating... it doesn't really take a lot of intelligence to work out what they wanted to do. But they rearranged all of their plans for me, just so I wouldn't have to go back to my house alone.
I have no idea how to tell them how much I appreciate it. It's not like it's a one time thing, either. It's every time I turn up unannounced, wanting to get away.
The next day I wake up, and it takes me a moment or two to work out just why I'm in Mike's bed (they even let me have the bed, and they slept on the floor). Then I remember, and surprisingly enough I smile. I'm not sad because of Sherri, I'm happy because of my friends. I turn to look at them both, lying spread eagle on the floor, half hugging each other. It's times like these I realise how adorable they actually are, as a couple, and I know I wouldn't want it any other way. I mean, imagine if they dated other girls. It would be so bizarre and unreal.
"Wake up," I hiss at them. Mike mutters something and turns over, while Billie simply snorts. I suppress a giggle and try again. "Wake up!" Still no sign of life. "Wake up!" I yell, and burst out laughing as they both leap up and look around wildly. "We've got school," I say as they both turn and glare at me - how dare I wake them from their glorious slumber? - and leap over them to get to the bathroom first.
I may not be a girly girl, but I am still a girl, remember.
I survey myself in Mike's bathroom mirror critically. I am such a mess. For every good thing I can pick out about myself, I can find three bad things. According to Mom I have low self esteem and need to be more positive - but then she has to say that. She's my mother; she can hardly admit that I'm ugly. I search through my bag of spare 'girly shit that clutters up the bathroom', as Billie calls it - never mind that it's surrounded by his and Mike's guy shit. I pull out my purple eyeliner and draw a thick ring of it around my eyes. It doesn't come out too well, so I hold it against the radiator for a moment, heating it up. I have no idea, but after it's warm it works so much better.
There, my eyes don't look too bad now. At least the purple makes them look a bit greener. There's not a lot I can do with my hair without straightening it - it's just gone a bit weird and curly. I shove it into a side ponytail, letting the shorter layers tumble into my face. I like the messy look - perfect excuse not to take too much time in the mornings. I find some bright red lip-gloss in my bag, decide that it's too vibrant and put some clear on instead. I glance in the mirror again, and decide to put some mascara on too. Then I'm out, ignoring Mike's moan as Billie nips in there after me.
"I'm surrounded by girls," he mutters with a grin.
"Sure are," I tell him.
"Hey!" Billie calls from the other side of the door. From the sounds of things he's got his mouth full of toothpaste - how tasteful.
"Oh, did I tell you?" Mike says suddenly. "My cousin moved here the other day. She's starting school today, and... " he wrinkles his nose. "My Mom said you'd look after her. Seeing as though you're such a nice girl, and everything."
"What?" I say, surprised. I remember him telling me she was coming, but not that I had to look after her. "Look after her? How old is she, five?"
"She's our age, and she's going to be... what was it? Overwhelmed. So you get to make sure she doesn't get picked on."
"Why me? Why not you and Billie?"
"Because you're a girl?" he shrugs. "You won't like her. Not at all. She dyes her hair blonde, she wants to be a cheerleader, and she's the biggest bitch I've ever met."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence Mike," I say dryly. "You won't leave me with her, will you? You gotta stay with me!"
"Fine... like we leave you anyway at school?" he asks with a grin. "Hurry up Bill, you're worse than Charlie!"
I meet Mike's cousin at the school gates. Her name's Natalie and she's as annoying as Mike told me. She took one look at me, curled her lip up in the most infuriating manner ever, and muttered something to Mike. He frowned and shook his head. Then she turned back to me and sighed.
"I'm Natalie," she said in a bored drawl that told me plainly she already hated me.
"I'm Charlie," I tell her.
"Charlie? Okay... and you're the girl I'm supposed to stick with?" she says, looking disgusted.
"Apparently so," I sigh, with a matching look on my face.
It gets worse. She sits next to me in at least four lessons, and next to Billie in another. She doesn't make conversation; she looks down her nose at me and smiles like she possesses a grand total of three brain cells every time a 'cute guy' walks past. I swear she is going to drive me crazy.
She did speak to me the lesson after she'd sat with Billie, though.
"You know... Billie Joe?" she asks in that stupid simpering voice she puts on when she's trying to sound sweet.
"Yeah?"
"Are you going out with him?"
"No."
"Oh. So, are you going out with Mike?"
"No."
"So... you're not going out with either of them?" she says, frowning and pulling on a lock of her long blonde hair. Long blonde dead straight hair, might I add.
Cow.
"No," I tell her slowly, wondering if my vocabulary will ever grow to more than one word with her around.
"So, like, why do you hang around with them?"
"Because they're my best friends."
"But they're guys!"
"And? You know, guys can be more than objects to flirt with. They can be friends, even if you haven't discovered that yet."
"Whatever. So Billie's single?"
"Why?"
"He's kinda cute, in a weird way," she says with a grin. Maybe there's a common bond in their family?
"Nice to know you think that," I say, feeling a wicked grin spread across my face.
"Really? Why, does he like me too?" she says, glancing over to where he's sitting with Mike.
"Erm... not exactly. He's not single."
"Who's he going out with then? Are they in here?"
"Erm, yeah, actually they are," I say, trying not to laugh.
"Who?"
"Mike."
It was worth putting up with her all day just for the look on her face as I said that.
"Charlie?" he asks, looking slightly confused as he appears at the top of his stairs. He doesn't have a shirt on, and I distinctly hear a set of footsteps following him that sound a lot like Billie's. I'm proved right as Billie's head appears, peeking over Mike's shoulder. From what I can see of him, he isn't wearing a shirt either.
Okay, so that's not really what I'd hope to walk in on them doing. The sight of the two of them there doesn't put the nicest images in my head. They seem to think the same thing, because Billie quickly disappears to Mike's room and returns wearing a top. He comes down the stairs to talk to me while Mike gets his back on.
"What's up?" he asks me as I collapse onto Mike's sofa with a sigh. I kick my feet up onto it and push a pile of cushions that were covering a stain off with them. Billie, deciding to have no regards for my personal space or comfort, pushes my feet away and sits in the space they were taking up.
"Sherri," I say, my one word explanation quite enough for him to see what I'm annoyed about. "And Dan," I add.
"Shit... is she still doing heroin?" he asks, lowering his voice even though there's no one else in the house except for us. I nod as Mike appears in the doorway. He frowns at the lack of space we've left and then shrugs, deciding that the cushions were probably the comfiest option left.
"And is Dan still, you know... ?" Mike asks, joining in the conversation without so much as a preliminary hello.
"Hurting her? Yeah. Is she still ignoring me? Pretty much," I sigh.
"Charlie, things will get better eventually," Billie says, trying to be comforting. Billie can't really do comforting - it's a bit like watching a schoolteacher try to do cool. It's wrong on so many levels.
"Stop being understanding Billie, it really doesn't suit you," I tell him with a small smile. He laughs a little at that, although I feel him glance at me to check I'm okay. Mike looks at me too, and I smile again, assuring them I'm fine. After all, I can't sit around wallowing in self pity all the time. If there's anything this shit has taught me, it's to grab hold of life by the balls and never let go.
Really, hanging around with two guys is doing me no favours. I'm getting less and less feminine by the day.
"So... " Mike says, breaking the silence that followed. "What do you guys wanna do?"
I love them for that. They don't get annoyed that I broke up their little make out session or anything; they just try and make me happy again. They really are the best friends I could ever ask for, I think. Mike even lets me stay over at his place, even though it was just going to be him and Billie. For the night, yeah. I don't want to think about what they were planning on getting up to - an empty house and two teenage boys who are dating... it doesn't really take a lot of intelligence to work out what they wanted to do. But they rearranged all of their plans for me, just so I wouldn't have to go back to my house alone.
I have no idea how to tell them how much I appreciate it. It's not like it's a one time thing, either. It's every time I turn up unannounced, wanting to get away.
The next day I wake up, and it takes me a moment or two to work out just why I'm in Mike's bed (they even let me have the bed, and they slept on the floor). Then I remember, and surprisingly enough I smile. I'm not sad because of Sherri, I'm happy because of my friends. I turn to look at them both, lying spread eagle on the floor, half hugging each other. It's times like these I realise how adorable they actually are, as a couple, and I know I wouldn't want it any other way. I mean, imagine if they dated other girls. It would be so bizarre and unreal.
"Wake up," I hiss at them. Mike mutters something and turns over, while Billie simply snorts. I suppress a giggle and try again. "Wake up!" Still no sign of life. "Wake up!" I yell, and burst out laughing as they both leap up and look around wildly. "We've got school," I say as they both turn and glare at me - how dare I wake them from their glorious slumber? - and leap over them to get to the bathroom first.
I may not be a girly girl, but I am still a girl, remember.
I survey myself in Mike's bathroom mirror critically. I am such a mess. For every good thing I can pick out about myself, I can find three bad things. According to Mom I have low self esteem and need to be more positive - but then she has to say that. She's my mother; she can hardly admit that I'm ugly. I search through my bag of spare 'girly shit that clutters up the bathroom', as Billie calls it - never mind that it's surrounded by his and Mike's guy shit. I pull out my purple eyeliner and draw a thick ring of it around my eyes. It doesn't come out too well, so I hold it against the radiator for a moment, heating it up. I have no idea, but after it's warm it works so much better.
There, my eyes don't look too bad now. At least the purple makes them look a bit greener. There's not a lot I can do with my hair without straightening it - it's just gone a bit weird and curly. I shove it into a side ponytail, letting the shorter layers tumble into my face. I like the messy look - perfect excuse not to take too much time in the mornings. I find some bright red lip-gloss in my bag, decide that it's too vibrant and put some clear on instead. I glance in the mirror again, and decide to put some mascara on too. Then I'm out, ignoring Mike's moan as Billie nips in there after me.
"I'm surrounded by girls," he mutters with a grin.
"Sure are," I tell him.
"Hey!" Billie calls from the other side of the door. From the sounds of things he's got his mouth full of toothpaste - how tasteful.
"Oh, did I tell you?" Mike says suddenly. "My cousin moved here the other day. She's starting school today, and... " he wrinkles his nose. "My Mom said you'd look after her. Seeing as though you're such a nice girl, and everything."
"What?" I say, surprised. I remember him telling me she was coming, but not that I had to look after her. "Look after her? How old is she, five?"
"She's our age, and she's going to be... what was it? Overwhelmed. So you get to make sure she doesn't get picked on."
"Why me? Why not you and Billie?"
"Because you're a girl?" he shrugs. "You won't like her. Not at all. She dyes her hair blonde, she wants to be a cheerleader, and she's the biggest bitch I've ever met."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence Mike," I say dryly. "You won't leave me with her, will you? You gotta stay with me!"
"Fine... like we leave you anyway at school?" he asks with a grin. "Hurry up Bill, you're worse than Charlie!"
I meet Mike's cousin at the school gates. Her name's Natalie and she's as annoying as Mike told me. She took one look at me, curled her lip up in the most infuriating manner ever, and muttered something to Mike. He frowned and shook his head. Then she turned back to me and sighed.
"I'm Natalie," she said in a bored drawl that told me plainly she already hated me.
"I'm Charlie," I tell her.
"Charlie? Okay... and you're the girl I'm supposed to stick with?" she says, looking disgusted.
"Apparently so," I sigh, with a matching look on my face.
It gets worse. She sits next to me in at least four lessons, and next to Billie in another. She doesn't make conversation; she looks down her nose at me and smiles like she possesses a grand total of three brain cells every time a 'cute guy' walks past. I swear she is going to drive me crazy.
She did speak to me the lesson after she'd sat with Billie, though.
"You know... Billie Joe?" she asks in that stupid simpering voice she puts on when she's trying to sound sweet.
"Yeah?"
"Are you going out with him?"
"No."
"Oh. So, are you going out with Mike?"
"No."
"So... you're not going out with either of them?" she says, frowning and pulling on a lock of her long blonde hair. Long blonde dead straight hair, might I add.
Cow.
"No," I tell her slowly, wondering if my vocabulary will ever grow to more than one word with her around.
"So, like, why do you hang around with them?"
"Because they're my best friends."
"But they're guys!"
"And? You know, guys can be more than objects to flirt with. They can be friends, even if you haven't discovered that yet."
"Whatever. So Billie's single?"
"Why?"
"He's kinda cute, in a weird way," she says with a grin. Maybe there's a common bond in their family?
"Nice to know you think that," I say, feeling a wicked grin spread across my face.
"Really? Why, does he like me too?" she says, glancing over to where he's sitting with Mike.
"Erm... not exactly. He's not single."
"Who's he going out with then? Are they in here?"
"Erm, yeah, actually they are," I say, trying not to laugh.
"Who?"
"Mike."
It was worth putting up with her all day just for the look on her face as I said that.
Previous | Page 3/3
