AAAAH!! Save me!! [I wanted to be a rockstar], chapter 3
I sat down next to this old guy. He looked like he was dead, but I knew he was just sleeping. He smelt of raw fish and eggs. b-e-a-utiful. I looked up at the clock. It was half past three. The next train wasn't for half an hour. I got up and stumbled back to the appartment. Charlie and Blue were waiting outside. They saw me walking slowly in the middle of the road and ran towards me, screaming.
"What the bloody fuck happened?"
"Where the hell did you go? We were so f-ing worried."
"Yeah I bet you were. I bet you fucking were."
I pushed past them and slowly walked towards the tree outside the block of apartments. I sat down on the floor and started to cry. Blue put her arm around me but I shrugged it off. Charlie said to leave me alone and then they both walked towards the appartment. I don't want to be fucking alone, I thought. What kind of friends are they? I wiped my face and got out my phone. I dialed the only number I knew, apart from 999.
"Hello?"
"..... *sniff* Hello....."
"Hello? Hello who is this?"
"*sniff* I-it's me."
"Look, is this some kind of joke? I swear..."
"MUM! It's me!"
"Sweety? Darling? Is that really you?"
"Don't patronize me with all that sweety crap. I need to see you."
"Right. Right...well where the hell are you?"
"NO. No you can't come here. I need to go home..."
I felt like a little kid after a birthday party. I walked towards the bus stop. She said she would meet me here, twelve sharp. I waited. And waited and waited and waited. It was half past one. I waited and waited. Still no mum. I knew it. I knew she would do this to me. I started to walk back when a car pulled up beside me. I looked through the grubby window and a curly haired woman looked on at me. She looked drained. bags under her puffy grey eyes, wrinkles on every curve of her face. She said "Come in," quickly. I realised who she was. I got in the back. I didn't want to be seen with her.
"Oh honey, how have you been? You look awful..."
"Hey bitch, you can talk!"
"Ok. Still the same old moody daughter hey? *laugh* You haven't changed one bit..."
"Whatever. Look I need to stay at home for a couple of weeks. Just til christmas is over. Then I'm out, ok?"
"Well ok. But why? I thought you wanted to stay with your friends for Christmas...that's what you always wanted before, when we were a family..."
"Oh shut up mum. Stop crying for christ sake. You wanted me out the day I turned 12."
"Hey now that is not true. It's your dad that wanted to get rid of you, not me."
"Oh look they're you go again. Blaming everything on poor dad. No wonder he left you..."
"Fuck you. You have no idea what it's like being an adult and having responsibilities."
"Oh my fucking Jesus! You wanna talk about responsibilities? Ok let's talk...when you were out screwing every man in the pub and not using contraception and cheating on dad and ruining our lives, I was at home, looking after my 6 year old fucking sister and our baby brother! So don't you dare talk about responsibilities."
"Oh god. Is this what we are going to be like? Always arguing?"
"You started it, bitch."
I walked through the door. Lola came rushing up to me and jumped on me. I hugged her so tight. I smelt her gorgeous blonde hair. I didn't want to say it, but I was so glad to be home. I looked around. The dump was the same as I left it. Fag butts all over the floor, burn holes on the carpet. Home sweet fucking home. I suddenly saw this little face peep around the kitchen door. My baby boy! I screamed. Jay-jay ran up to me and hugged my leg. He looked so old! They both did. I half walked into the living room, Jay still attatched to my leg, and fell down onto the sofa. Lola came and sat on my lap.
"Are you my christmas present?"
"Yeah. knowing mum she probably hasn't got you anything..."
"Where have you been?"
"I...I've been doing a couple of things..."
"Like what?"
"Well...I'm still in the band..."
"Oh good God, not that shit thing still? It is so crap!"
"Heeey you can shut up. *laugh* So what have you been up ta?"
"Well I'm in my own band..."
"Really? What's it called?"
"Day Green."
"Ha...that's...err...very original?"
"Nah I'm just kidding. We are called Knight."
"Cool. That's a good name. What made you come up with that?"
"Dunno. Saw it on a packet of crisps. Thought it sounded good."
"Ha. So whose in it?"
"Me, duh, George, Chrissie and Luke. But Luke's gone to Australia." This was it. This was home.
"What the bloody fuck happened?"
"Where the hell did you go? We were so f-ing worried."
"Yeah I bet you were. I bet you fucking were."
I pushed past them and slowly walked towards the tree outside the block of apartments. I sat down on the floor and started to cry. Blue put her arm around me but I shrugged it off. Charlie said to leave me alone and then they both walked towards the appartment. I don't want to be fucking alone, I thought. What kind of friends are they? I wiped my face and got out my phone. I dialed the only number I knew, apart from 999.
"Hello?"
"..... *sniff* Hello....."
"Hello? Hello who is this?"
"*sniff* I-it's me."
"Look, is this some kind of joke? I swear..."
"MUM! It's me!"
"Sweety? Darling? Is that really you?"
"Don't patronize me with all that sweety crap. I need to see you."
"Right. Right...well where the hell are you?"
"NO. No you can't come here. I need to go home..."
I felt like a little kid after a birthday party. I walked towards the bus stop. She said she would meet me here, twelve sharp. I waited. And waited and waited and waited. It was half past one. I waited and waited. Still no mum. I knew it. I knew she would do this to me. I started to walk back when a car pulled up beside me. I looked through the grubby window and a curly haired woman looked on at me. She looked drained. bags under her puffy grey eyes, wrinkles on every curve of her face. She said "Come in," quickly. I realised who she was. I got in the back. I didn't want to be seen with her.
"Oh honey, how have you been? You look awful..."
"Hey bitch, you can talk!"
"Ok. Still the same old moody daughter hey? *laugh* You haven't changed one bit..."
"Whatever. Look I need to stay at home for a couple of weeks. Just til christmas is over. Then I'm out, ok?"
"Well ok. But why? I thought you wanted to stay with your friends for Christmas...that's what you always wanted before, when we were a family..."
"Oh shut up mum. Stop crying for christ sake. You wanted me out the day I turned 12."
"Hey now that is not true. It's your dad that wanted to get rid of you, not me."
"Oh look they're you go again. Blaming everything on poor dad. No wonder he left you..."
"Fuck you. You have no idea what it's like being an adult and having responsibilities."
"Oh my fucking Jesus! You wanna talk about responsibilities? Ok let's talk...when you were out screwing every man in the pub and not using contraception and cheating on dad and ruining our lives, I was at home, looking after my 6 year old fucking sister and our baby brother! So don't you dare talk about responsibilities."
"Oh god. Is this what we are going to be like? Always arguing?"
"You started it, bitch."
I walked through the door. Lola came rushing up to me and jumped on me. I hugged her so tight. I smelt her gorgeous blonde hair. I didn't want to say it, but I was so glad to be home. I looked around. The dump was the same as I left it. Fag butts all over the floor, burn holes on the carpet. Home sweet fucking home. I suddenly saw this little face peep around the kitchen door. My baby boy! I screamed. Jay-jay ran up to me and hugged my leg. He looked so old! They both did. I half walked into the living room, Jay still attatched to my leg, and fell down onto the sofa. Lola came and sat on my lap.
"Are you my christmas present?"
"Yeah. knowing mum she probably hasn't got you anything..."
"Where have you been?"
"I...I've been doing a couple of things..."
"Like what?"
"Well...I'm still in the band..."
"Oh good God, not that shit thing still? It is so crap!"
"Heeey you can shut up. *laugh* So what have you been up ta?"
"Well I'm in my own band..."
"Really? What's it called?"
"Day Green."
"Ha...that's...err...very original?"
"Nah I'm just kidding. We are called Knight."
"Cool. That's a good name. What made you come up with that?"
"Dunno. Saw it on a packet of crisps. Thought it sounded good."
"Ha. So whose in it?"
"Me, duh, George, Chrissie and Luke. But Luke's gone to Australia." This was it. This was home.
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