The Extraordinary Girl, chapter 15
"How could this happen?" asked April, as they entered the house. To avoid further complications, they had dropped Joey and Jakey off at friends' houses for the night and thankfully, they had no idea what had just happened in the judge's office.
The judge had given them one night to straighten everything out and their lawyer promised to try as hard as she could to get April. "Who the heck is Timothy Winters?"
"Tim," said Adie, sitting on the couch, "was my boyfriend. I dumped him 3 weeks before I met Billie. He was abusive, so I had to let him go."
"Ex-boyfriend, huh?"
"Or so I thought."
"What do you mean by that, Billie?"
"You dumped him and you haven't seen him since you moved in with me!"
"That's what you think," she said quietly, tears filling up her eyes.
"What? I don't get this."
"Me neither," agreed April. "Why don't you tell us what happened?"
She took a deep breath and started her story. "Right after that drunken night and after Billie and the band flew back to California, I was just walking down the park. Then someone came up behind me and the next thing I knew, I was gagged and stuffed into the passenger's seat of the car. I looked over at my kidnapper and saw that it was Tim. He took off my gag and told me to shut up or else he would hurt me.
"He took me to his house and then raped me. I was so scared Billie, you have to believe me," she said tearfully, taking his hands in hers. "I couldn't call anyone and no one knew where I was. My parents were still out of the town, so they didn't call me."
"But that still doesn't explain how you got pregnant," he told her as softly as she could.
"I don't know how. He said he had used protection. When I went to my doctor's, he said that you were the father and that was all. I guess he didn't know there was a second father."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because then I thought you would think the child wasn't yours and have it aborted. I wanted it to live."
"Excuse me?" said Billie, letting go of her hands. "I would've aborted her? Wasn't it you who wanted an abortion? On the child that I thought was mine?"
"I know that! I'm not stupid!" she said, standing up. "But then I realized that I wanted the kid. And I did get a little paranoid when I thought it was Tim's, but I guessed that it couldn't be because I was with you first. BUT I THOUGT WRONG!"
"YOU SURE DID! BUT YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING! SHE WAS A MISTAKE! THINGS WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER IF SHE WASN'T BORN!" Right when those words came out, he regretted saying it. He and Adie whirled around in time to see April run up the stairs.
"Oh, crap," they said together. They heard a door slam.
Way to go, Billie Joe, he thought.
***
Up in her room, April was crying on her pillow. A mistake, she kept thinking. Was that really all she was? A mistake of not two, but three people? She didn't even know that it was possible... until now.
She grabbed Warning and stared to play Wake Me Up When September Ends. She didn't know why, but she just felt like playing that song. It made her feel better and it felt like all her pain was being drained out. The song somehow went into Give Me Novocain and she just went on from there. After a few minutes, she heard a knock on the door.
"April?" Billie said softly, knocking on the door. Behind him, Adie was waiting anxiously. "Can we talk?"
April stopped playing and went over to the stereo and said coldly, "Do you really want to know the answer?"
"We just wanna know how you're feeling," said Adie.
"Oh yeah? Well this is how I'm feeling," and pressed play. "Platypus (I Hate You)" came on and she cranked the volume to an ear-splitting level. "That's how I'm feeling, so leave me alone!" she cried over the music. Billie and Adie exchanged glances and decided that April needed to cool down a little.
Going into the kitchen, Adie was about to make some coffee when the doorbell rang. Billie Joe got the door and found himself facing Mike and Tre, both looking very confused.
"What happened?" was the first thing Mike asked as Billie led them into the kitchen. "You said something about delaying the adoption over the phone. I thought everything was fine." Pouring some coffee into four mugs, Adie told the two of them what they had found out at the judge's office.
"You've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Mike, eyes wide. "Two fathers? I didn't think that was possible."
"Well, I guess it is," said Billie, shaking his head in disbelief. "And now April is mad at us."
"Why? It wasn't your fault Adrienne got raped," said Tre.
"But she heard me say—no, yell—that I thought she was a mistake and that everything would've been better if she wasn't born."
"How could you? And to your own daughter."
"I don't know! It just slipped out. I was mad, confused... just... yeah, confused. I didn't mean it. I love her! She's my own flesh and blood, and even if most of her genes were from Tim, I would still love her. I don't want her to relive what I had to go through with my step-father."
"You... we should tell her this, once she's cooled down a little," Adie said, holding his hands as tears went down her face.
***
Platypus was still playing and the words went through April's head. She didn't know if she hated her parents, but it felt good to sing along and release all her confusion. She guessed she wasn't hateful, just hurt because she was a mistake; an accidental birth instead of an awaited welcoming. She cried some more as the song said, "CUZ I HATE YOU... !"
April looked around the room and her eyes rested on the nail file she was using earlier that day. She was against suicide, but it seemed that an unknown force was making her drawn towards it. With shaking hands, she clasped it firmly in her right hand and lifted the file up. No, she couldn't do it. Cutting yourself would always make it worse, even if it did feel right. She was not going to mutilate herself.
April closed her eyes. What the heck, she thought, you only live once. She swung it down on her left wrist, harder than she intended to and felt a vain brake. Blood came spilling out and she screamed before passing out.
***
April, wake up.
I can't, she told herself.
Yes you can. You have to.
But I can't. I don't want to.
Why?
I just want to die.
But why?
I'm not loved. I'm just a mistake.
But you have to wake up.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Leave me alone.
April was having an internal battle with herself. While she was doing that, the doctors did their best to stop the blood from flowing more and patch up the broken veins. She had cut two in half and at least severed one.
Adie and the others were outside the swinging door. Billie Joe was in a chair, his head in his hands. Tre was pacing up and down, while Mike was trying to comfort Adie. They had heard her screaming upstairs and went up to check on her and found April, sprawled on the bed, bleeding at the wrist and barely conscious.
"I should've known," Billie said suddenly. They all jumped; it had been very quiet moments before.
"Known what?" Mike asked.
"She would do something like this."
"Billie," soothed Adrienne, sitting next to her husband. "How could you have possibly known? It's not your fault."
"Yes it is. I let something slip out that I didn't mean to, daughter took it the wrong way, and now she's gone and killed herself. I'm such a dumbass."
"She's not dead yet," Tre reminded him hopefully. But what was the use? April was severely injured and she might have well died in the car.
"That lady was right. I'm a horrible influence. I don't know why you decided to marry me."
"Billie, I love you. That's why I did." They sat around in ore silence, until the doctor came out. They scrambled up and waited with bated breath.
"Well, Doc? How is she?" The doctor looked grave.
"It's hard to say. The vein was cut very deep and mending it is a delicate process."
"But will it save her?" Adie asked.
"It may. It's 50/50 chance," he answered.
"Then please do it now."
"Ok. But remember, that she may die during the surgery."
At these words, Adie buried her head in Billie's shoulder and he tried to comfort her. The doctor nodded and went back to April. Seconds later, he and the nurses wheeled her to the surgery room. The four of them caught a glimpse of her face; it was pale and clammy looking. Mike lowered his head, as if to look away and not bear to face the sight. Tre hugged all three of them and tried to hold the tears back.
It was just like when they had first met April; only she had a greater chance to live. And they didn't have such a heavy load. Sure, the first time they felt guilty, but she was just doing what any person would do. This time, it really was their fault. At least that's what it felt like to Billie Joe and Adrienne.
"She's not going to make it," Billie whispered.
"Don't say that. She will. She has to. She's been through this kind of thing before," Mike said, though wishing he could believe it himself.
Meanwhile, the doctors were putting an anesthetic in April's body. She had her eyes half open and saw bright lights above her. She thought her life was flashing before her eyes, but no, it was only the operating room.
April argued with herself again.
Hold on. You're gonna make it.
No I'm not.
Yes you will.
Even if I did, no one will give a crap.
Yes they will. Don't be too hard on yourself.
April grew angry. Why wouldn't this voice leave her alone? Couldn't it see that it was too late?
With what consciousness she had left, April squeezed her fists, which was a mistake. More blood came spilling forth and she heard the doctors and nurses rushing in panic to stem the flow. Finally, she passed out.
***
Billie had fallen asleep in Adrienne's lap. Tre and Mike kept pacing up and down, occasionally bumping into other people. They had been at the hospital for a few hours, though it only seemed a few minutes when the doctor came out. They immediately stopped pacing and Adie hurriedly woke Billie up. Rubbing his eyes and yawning, the crowded around the doctor.
"Well?" the asked.
He hesitated. "We tried as much as we could and managed to mend the broken vein."
"Did you?" Tre asked.
"We did. But during the surgery, it seemed that she clenched her fists and more blood came pouring through and broke another vein. We tried as best we could to mend it." All four of their hearts stopped. Was this the end of April? They waited with bated breath.
"I'm afraid that April is in a coma and it may take her days, weeks, even months to regain consciousness. She's in the room now, if you would like to see her."
Adrienne nodded and led the group. April was the only patient in the room. They scurried around her and looked at her face. It was pale and clammy. Her chest went slowly up and down and her breathing was shallow. Mike grasped the uninjured had and drew away quickly; it was as cold as ice. Tre buried his head in her sheets and Adie cried on Mike's shoulder. Billie was emotionless. Tears weren't enough anymore to describe how he felt this moment.
***
It had been many weeks since the surgery and April still hadn't regained consciousness. After 5 days of constant questions of where April was, Billie and Adie finally told their sons that she was in the hospital again and that she might not live. Jakey burst into tears and Joey bowed his head and cried silently. Since then, the Armstrong's, Mike, and Tre had been visiting everyday. They cancelled the year's touring until April was awake again. It was almost like "Sleeping Beauty"; waiting for the girl to wake up from her peaceful slumber, or in this case, deathly coma.
February 2006 came rolling along. Though they had visited many times and the crying was becoming less, their next visit was like a flood of tears. It was the 14th, April's birthday.
"I didn't want us to celebrate her birthday like this," said Billie sitting in his usual spot near his daughter. April had shown no signs of movement yet. He clasped her hand in his and squeezed it, as if telling her that they were right there to see her wake up. "I'm so sorry," he whispered to her. More tears came and Joey and Jakey tried to comfort their father. How a beautiful occasion was turned dreadful broke their hearts, which shattered even more when Billie's phone rang. Wiping the tears and clearing his throat, he answered it.
"He-hello?" he stuttered. It was their lawyer. "Yeah. Yeah. Ye—what? Seriously? After all this? Oh... ok. Thanks. Um, we'll tell you our decision." He hung up and before anyone could ask, Billie punched the wall and everyone was taken aback.
"Why? WHY?" he yelled, putting his face in his hands.
"Billie, what is it?" asked Tre .
"It was the lawyer. She said, that—that," he choked in between sobs.
"That what?"
"They tried to contact Timothy Winters to see if he would fight for the case. But they found out he had committed suicide 2 years ago and now April is... legally ours."
Adie gasped and cried even harder. The two of them had been waiting for that decision and now that it was here, they couldn't be happy. It didn't matter if they got her or not, April was unconscious and was close to dead. Nothing was going right.
The judge had given them one night to straighten everything out and their lawyer promised to try as hard as she could to get April. "Who the heck is Timothy Winters?"
"Tim," said Adie, sitting on the couch, "was my boyfriend. I dumped him 3 weeks before I met Billie. He was abusive, so I had to let him go."
"Ex-boyfriend, huh?"
"Or so I thought."
"What do you mean by that, Billie?"
"You dumped him and you haven't seen him since you moved in with me!"
"That's what you think," she said quietly, tears filling up her eyes.
"What? I don't get this."
"Me neither," agreed April. "Why don't you tell us what happened?"
She took a deep breath and started her story. "Right after that drunken night and after Billie and the band flew back to California, I was just walking down the park. Then someone came up behind me and the next thing I knew, I was gagged and stuffed into the passenger's seat of the car. I looked over at my kidnapper and saw that it was Tim. He took off my gag and told me to shut up or else he would hurt me.
"He took me to his house and then raped me. I was so scared Billie, you have to believe me," she said tearfully, taking his hands in hers. "I couldn't call anyone and no one knew where I was. My parents were still out of the town, so they didn't call me."
"But that still doesn't explain how you got pregnant," he told her as softly as she could.
"I don't know how. He said he had used protection. When I went to my doctor's, he said that you were the father and that was all. I guess he didn't know there was a second father."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because then I thought you would think the child wasn't yours and have it aborted. I wanted it to live."
"Excuse me?" said Billie, letting go of her hands. "I would've aborted her? Wasn't it you who wanted an abortion? On the child that I thought was mine?"
"I know that! I'm not stupid!" she said, standing up. "But then I realized that I wanted the kid. And I did get a little paranoid when I thought it was Tim's, but I guessed that it couldn't be because I was with you first. BUT I THOUGT WRONG!"
"YOU SURE DID! BUT YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING! SHE WAS A MISTAKE! THINGS WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER IF SHE WASN'T BORN!" Right when those words came out, he regretted saying it. He and Adie whirled around in time to see April run up the stairs.
"Oh, crap," they said together. They heard a door slam.
Way to go, Billie Joe, he thought.
***
Up in her room, April was crying on her pillow. A mistake, she kept thinking. Was that really all she was? A mistake of not two, but three people? She didn't even know that it was possible... until now.
She grabbed Warning and stared to play Wake Me Up When September Ends. She didn't know why, but she just felt like playing that song. It made her feel better and it felt like all her pain was being drained out. The song somehow went into Give Me Novocain and she just went on from there. After a few minutes, she heard a knock on the door.
"April?" Billie said softly, knocking on the door. Behind him, Adie was waiting anxiously. "Can we talk?"
April stopped playing and went over to the stereo and said coldly, "Do you really want to know the answer?"
"We just wanna know how you're feeling," said Adie.
"Oh yeah? Well this is how I'm feeling," and pressed play. "Platypus (I Hate You)" came on and she cranked the volume to an ear-splitting level. "That's how I'm feeling, so leave me alone!" she cried over the music. Billie and Adie exchanged glances and decided that April needed to cool down a little.
Going into the kitchen, Adie was about to make some coffee when the doorbell rang. Billie Joe got the door and found himself facing Mike and Tre, both looking very confused.
"What happened?" was the first thing Mike asked as Billie led them into the kitchen. "You said something about delaying the adoption over the phone. I thought everything was fine." Pouring some coffee into four mugs, Adie told the two of them what they had found out at the judge's office.
"You've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Mike, eyes wide. "Two fathers? I didn't think that was possible."
"Well, I guess it is," said Billie, shaking his head in disbelief. "And now April is mad at us."
"Why? It wasn't your fault Adrienne got raped," said Tre.
"But she heard me say—no, yell—that I thought she was a mistake and that everything would've been better if she wasn't born."
"How could you? And to your own daughter."
"I don't know! It just slipped out. I was mad, confused... just... yeah, confused. I didn't mean it. I love her! She's my own flesh and blood, and even if most of her genes were from Tim, I would still love her. I don't want her to relive what I had to go through with my step-father."
"You... we should tell her this, once she's cooled down a little," Adie said, holding his hands as tears went down her face.
***
Platypus was still playing and the words went through April's head. She didn't know if she hated her parents, but it felt good to sing along and release all her confusion. She guessed she wasn't hateful, just hurt because she was a mistake; an accidental birth instead of an awaited welcoming. She cried some more as the song said, "CUZ I HATE YOU... !"
April looked around the room and her eyes rested on the nail file she was using earlier that day. She was against suicide, but it seemed that an unknown force was making her drawn towards it. With shaking hands, she clasped it firmly in her right hand and lifted the file up. No, she couldn't do it. Cutting yourself would always make it worse, even if it did feel right. She was not going to mutilate herself.
April closed her eyes. What the heck, she thought, you only live once. She swung it down on her left wrist, harder than she intended to and felt a vain brake. Blood came spilling out and she screamed before passing out.
***
April, wake up.
I can't, she told herself.
Yes you can. You have to.
But I can't. I don't want to.
Why?
I just want to die.
But why?
I'm not loved. I'm just a mistake.
But you have to wake up.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Leave me alone.
April was having an internal battle with herself. While she was doing that, the doctors did their best to stop the blood from flowing more and patch up the broken veins. She had cut two in half and at least severed one.
Adie and the others were outside the swinging door. Billie Joe was in a chair, his head in his hands. Tre was pacing up and down, while Mike was trying to comfort Adie. They had heard her screaming upstairs and went up to check on her and found April, sprawled on the bed, bleeding at the wrist and barely conscious.
"I should've known," Billie said suddenly. They all jumped; it had been very quiet moments before.
"Known what?" Mike asked.
"She would do something like this."
"Billie," soothed Adrienne, sitting next to her husband. "How could you have possibly known? It's not your fault."
"Yes it is. I let something slip out that I didn't mean to, daughter took it the wrong way, and now she's gone and killed herself. I'm such a dumbass."
"She's not dead yet," Tre reminded him hopefully. But what was the use? April was severely injured and she might have well died in the car.
"That lady was right. I'm a horrible influence. I don't know why you decided to marry me."
"Billie, I love you. That's why I did." They sat around in ore silence, until the doctor came out. They scrambled up and waited with bated breath.
"Well, Doc? How is she?" The doctor looked grave.
"It's hard to say. The vein was cut very deep and mending it is a delicate process."
"But will it save her?" Adie asked.
"It may. It's 50/50 chance," he answered.
"Then please do it now."
"Ok. But remember, that she may die during the surgery."
At these words, Adie buried her head in Billie's shoulder and he tried to comfort her. The doctor nodded and went back to April. Seconds later, he and the nurses wheeled her to the surgery room. The four of them caught a glimpse of her face; it was pale and clammy looking. Mike lowered his head, as if to look away and not bear to face the sight. Tre hugged all three of them and tried to hold the tears back.
It was just like when they had first met April; only she had a greater chance to live. And they didn't have such a heavy load. Sure, the first time they felt guilty, but she was just doing what any person would do. This time, it really was their fault. At least that's what it felt like to Billie Joe and Adrienne.
"She's not going to make it," Billie whispered.
"Don't say that. She will. She has to. She's been through this kind of thing before," Mike said, though wishing he could believe it himself.
Meanwhile, the doctors were putting an anesthetic in April's body. She had her eyes half open and saw bright lights above her. She thought her life was flashing before her eyes, but no, it was only the operating room.
April argued with herself again.
Hold on. You're gonna make it.
No I'm not.
Yes you will.
Even if I did, no one will give a crap.
Yes they will. Don't be too hard on yourself.
April grew angry. Why wouldn't this voice leave her alone? Couldn't it see that it was too late?
With what consciousness she had left, April squeezed her fists, which was a mistake. More blood came spilling forth and she heard the doctors and nurses rushing in panic to stem the flow. Finally, she passed out.
***
Billie had fallen asleep in Adrienne's lap. Tre and Mike kept pacing up and down, occasionally bumping into other people. They had been at the hospital for a few hours, though it only seemed a few minutes when the doctor came out. They immediately stopped pacing and Adie hurriedly woke Billie up. Rubbing his eyes and yawning, the crowded around the doctor.
"Well?" the asked.
He hesitated. "We tried as much as we could and managed to mend the broken vein."
"Did you?" Tre asked.
"We did. But during the surgery, it seemed that she clenched her fists and more blood came pouring through and broke another vein. We tried as best we could to mend it." All four of their hearts stopped. Was this the end of April? They waited with bated breath.
"I'm afraid that April is in a coma and it may take her days, weeks, even months to regain consciousness. She's in the room now, if you would like to see her."
Adrienne nodded and led the group. April was the only patient in the room. They scurried around her and looked at her face. It was pale and clammy. Her chest went slowly up and down and her breathing was shallow. Mike grasped the uninjured had and drew away quickly; it was as cold as ice. Tre buried his head in her sheets and Adie cried on Mike's shoulder. Billie was emotionless. Tears weren't enough anymore to describe how he felt this moment.
***
It had been many weeks since the surgery and April still hadn't regained consciousness. After 5 days of constant questions of where April was, Billie and Adie finally told their sons that she was in the hospital again and that she might not live. Jakey burst into tears and Joey bowed his head and cried silently. Since then, the Armstrong's, Mike, and Tre had been visiting everyday. They cancelled the year's touring until April was awake again. It was almost like "Sleeping Beauty"; waiting for the girl to wake up from her peaceful slumber, or in this case, deathly coma.
February 2006 came rolling along. Though they had visited many times and the crying was becoming less, their next visit was like a flood of tears. It was the 14th, April's birthday.
"I didn't want us to celebrate her birthday like this," said Billie sitting in his usual spot near his daughter. April had shown no signs of movement yet. He clasped her hand in his and squeezed it, as if telling her that they were right there to see her wake up. "I'm so sorry," he whispered to her. More tears came and Joey and Jakey tried to comfort their father. How a beautiful occasion was turned dreadful broke their hearts, which shattered even more when Billie's phone rang. Wiping the tears and clearing his throat, he answered it.
"He-hello?" he stuttered. It was their lawyer. "Yeah. Yeah. Ye—what? Seriously? After all this? Oh... ok. Thanks. Um, we'll tell you our decision." He hung up and before anyone could ask, Billie punched the wall and everyone was taken aback.
"Why? WHY?" he yelled, putting his face in his hands.
"Billie, what is it?" asked Tre .
"It was the lawyer. She said, that—that," he choked in between sobs.
"That what?"
"They tried to contact Timothy Winters to see if he would fight for the case. But they found out he had committed suicide 2 years ago and now April is... legally ours."
Adie gasped and cried even harder. The two of them had been waiting for that decision and now that it was here, they couldn't be happy. It didn't matter if they got her or not, April was unconscious and was close to dead. Nothing was going right.
