6 Going On 7, chapter 1
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDYYYYY!" screamed a very awake Jakob into his sleeping father's ear. "Mmffgm," mumbled Billie Joe as he swatted his hand lightly at his son, attempting to scare him away. "Daddy, if you don't get up I'm going to hit you!" Jakob stated as the man of the house merely rolled over, apparently not thinking a child could do much damage to his manly frame. There was a quiet mumbling of, "Ok dad, you've given me no choice," before a loud "SMACK!" filled the room.
"HOLY FU- rench fries, Jake!" yelled Billie as he glanced at what his son was holding, and seeing it to be a pillow case. "What do you have in that thing? Bricks?" The little boy giggled that high-pitched giggle most little kids have and stated simply, "Nope. I putted a whole box of cheewio's in it," before sporting a toothy grin as big as the Cheshire cat's.
Billie Joe mumbled a faint, "Close enough," before swinging his feet over the side of his king sized bed and groggily standing up. "Mmkay Jake, daddy'll just get dressed and be right down, 'kay?" he pointed out, as his offspring nodded and ran out of the bedroom door like a bullet, dragging the pillowcase full of probably crushed cheerios behind him.
Sighing deeply, Billie staggered sleepily over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of black pants. After shimmying into them perfectly, he found a plain black shirt and pulled it over his head. "No use brushing my hair," he thought as he pulled his studded belt through the belt loops on his pants.
Trotting proudly into the kitchen, Billie Joe breathed in the delicious smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes in the morning. How he loved his wife. Quietly sneaking up behind her, Billie slowly wrapped his tattooed arms around Adie's waist, earning a fit of giggles from her as he tickled her stomach.
"Billie! Stop! I can't breathe!" Adrienne squealed as another giggle escaped her lips. Her husband slowly let go of her waist, a smile plastered on his face. "So Adie, hun, who's all this brekky for?" The dark-haired woman beside him chuckled and stated, "It's all for the dog, Bill." Slightly upset, Billie Joe whined, "But I'm huuungwy, Adie." Giggling, Adrienne walked over to her husband and poked her spatula into his stomach lightly before stating, "Hun, we don't have a dog."
Billie Joe shifted his eyes back and forth and rubbed the back of his head with his hand before whispering, "I knew that," and escaping into the living room, where Jake and Joey were watching some form of cartoon. "Heeeeey guys, g'mornin' to yah," he recited, remembering that line from some movie he'd seen. "Morneen' daddy," Jakob responded in that little kid tone that made Billie smile. Joey mumbled a quick, "Hi dad," not even removing his eyes from the T. V, apparently too interested in the cartoon he was watching to pay attention to his dad's entrance into the room.
Just as the large man sat down on the couch, Adrienne whispered harshly from the kitchen, "Psst! Billie! C'mere." Sighing, since he had just sat down and hoped to watch some cartoons with his boys, he sat up and staggered into the kitchen. "Yes Adie?" The woman before him simply whispered, "Don't you remember what day it is?" Billie stood there, confused. "Uuum.. Saturday?" His wife sighed, "No, silly, don't you remember what SPECIAL OCCASION it is today?" "Errr... Uum.." the rocker stuttered, obviously not able to remember. "Uuh.. Happy anniversary?" Billie guessed stupidly. Adrienne giggled. "No, dumb ass, it's Jake's birthday. Why else do you think I would let him use up a whole box of cheerio's just so he could hit you with them?"
He laughed. "Ooh. Now I remember." Leaning in closer, making sure that Jakob couldn't hear, she said quietly, "Could you take the boys to the pool while I get everything ready? And be sure to wear your big ass Elton John sunglasses so no one recognizes you, 'kay?" Chuckling, Billie nodded. He had been waiting for an opportunity to spend some time with his sons. Touring all the time can really make you miss your family.
"Hey Joe, Jake, we're going swimming, go get all your stuff ready so we can leave." He said with a giddy smile on his face. As soon as his boys heard this news, they jumped off the couch and ran upstairs. "I don't understand why you can make them do things and I can't," Adie said with a laugh. Laughing along with his wife, Billie Joe did his imitation of Superman and said in a deep voice, "It's because I am the great BJ. Giving the kids presents even if it ISN'T their birthday!" Earning a giggle from his wife.
**
"Bye honey! We'll be back around 12:30pm!" Billie Joe yelled, half-way out the door, followed by two loud, "Bye mommy's!" Adrienne loved how loyal and loving her family was towards her. She really did have the perfect life. Snapping out of her happy thoughts, Adie stood up from her dining room table and raced to the pantry where she had hidden everything needed for Jake's birthday. Well, everything except for the ice-cream cake with Spiderman on it. That was put in the freezer.
Gently placing the plastic bag containing streamers, balloons, and other things needed for a 7 year old's birthday on the kitchen counter, the middle aged woman looked around the plain room.. Clapping her hands together in mock excitement, Adrienne said to no one in particular, "Let's make birthday magic!"
**
"Hey, Adie? We're on our way home now. Yes, I called Mike and Tre'. They're both coming. Yeh. Be home soon. Love yah." As he hung up his cellphone, he snickered at how his wife was always overreacting. "Dad? When will we be home?" Joey asked from the back seat. "Soon, Joe. In maybe about ten minutes, 'kay?" Billie responded. "Kay."
**
"Tre' Cool has entered the building!" The drummer announced loudly as he entered the Armstrong household. "It's not a building, dumb ass, it's a house," Mike stated. "Same thing!" Tre' said, defending himself. "Yeah Tre', and you and a cantaloupe are the same thing too." Mike retaliated. "Mike, that was just lame. You're running out of insults, fartbag." Tre'giggled. "Fartbag? Nah. I prefer 'Oh Great One." said the bassist. "Well, 'Oh Great One, ' you can suck my non-existant testical." Mike had to laugh at this statement. "Tre', that means I don't suck your testical at all." Tre' just stuck his tongue out like a child would do, making Mike roll his eyes.
"Tre', I'm starting to regret giving you a key to our house," Billie Joe's wife said from the living room.
"Ooh ADIIIEEE, we're hungry. Give us food!" shouted Tre'. "SHUT THE FUCK UP TRE', I'M BUSY!" Adrienne called from the other room. "Ooh... Tre' got burned." Mike added, immitating the term 'burned' from his daughter Estelle, who said it more than occasionally.
"What are you doing in there anyway, Adie?" asked the curious bassist. "Wrapping Jake's present, what else?" came her reply. Mike chuckled. "So, is there anything you want us to do?" He asked. "Hmm... Why don't you go sit down and watch T. V or something. Knowing Tre', he might break something if he's doing anything els-" Adie was cut off by the loud sound of glass breaking. "Dammit Tre! What did you break now?" She yelled down the hall.
"I swear the mirror started it! It was questioning my good looks, so it should have known what was coming!" Tre' responded with the most innocent voice he could come up with. Adrienne just shook her head, quickly finishing wrapping the present she had bought for their youngest son and proudly walking out of the living room, placing it on the table where all the rest of the presents would go.
Today was just a family birthday party for Jake. The fun one with all of his little 7 year old friends would be the next week. Mike picked up his gift that he had put on the floor earlier and gently put it on the table along with Tre's. Mike couldn't really tell what Tre's present to Jakob was, but it was shaped so oddly that he wasn't sure he wanted to.
Mike's thoughts were interrupted by the door slowly creaking open, and Billie Joe tip-toeing up to Adrienne, whispering something in her ear.
"Quick! Turn off all the lights, hide behind the couch, and get ready to shout 'happy birthday' like a horse with mad cow disease!" Adrienne hissed to Tre' and Mike, who did as they were told, although they weren't quite sure about the 'horse with mad cow disease' part.
About a minute of suspense later, two shadowy faces appeared at the front door. "Mommy? Daddy? Where are you?" Said the littelest before turning on the lights, only to be greeted by a loud...
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!" and another not so loud, "Happy birthday Beanoo!" from a certain drummer standing in the corner.
"HOLY FU- rench fries, Jake!" yelled Billie as he glanced at what his son was holding, and seeing it to be a pillow case. "What do you have in that thing? Bricks?" The little boy giggled that high-pitched giggle most little kids have and stated simply, "Nope. I putted a whole box of cheewio's in it," before sporting a toothy grin as big as the Cheshire cat's.
Billie Joe mumbled a faint, "Close enough," before swinging his feet over the side of his king sized bed and groggily standing up. "Mmkay Jake, daddy'll just get dressed and be right down, 'kay?" he pointed out, as his offspring nodded and ran out of the bedroom door like a bullet, dragging the pillowcase full of probably crushed cheerios behind him.
Sighing deeply, Billie staggered sleepily over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of black pants. After shimmying into them perfectly, he found a plain black shirt and pulled it over his head. "No use brushing my hair," he thought as he pulled his studded belt through the belt loops on his pants.
Trotting proudly into the kitchen, Billie Joe breathed in the delicious smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes in the morning. How he loved his wife. Quietly sneaking up behind her, Billie slowly wrapped his tattooed arms around Adie's waist, earning a fit of giggles from her as he tickled her stomach.
"Billie! Stop! I can't breathe!" Adrienne squealed as another giggle escaped her lips. Her husband slowly let go of her waist, a smile plastered on his face. "So Adie, hun, who's all this brekky for?" The dark-haired woman beside him chuckled and stated, "It's all for the dog, Bill." Slightly upset, Billie Joe whined, "But I'm huuungwy, Adie." Giggling, Adrienne walked over to her husband and poked her spatula into his stomach lightly before stating, "Hun, we don't have a dog."
Billie Joe shifted his eyes back and forth and rubbed the back of his head with his hand before whispering, "I knew that," and escaping into the living room, where Jake and Joey were watching some form of cartoon. "Heeeeey guys, g'mornin' to yah," he recited, remembering that line from some movie he'd seen. "Morneen' daddy," Jakob responded in that little kid tone that made Billie smile. Joey mumbled a quick, "Hi dad," not even removing his eyes from the T. V, apparently too interested in the cartoon he was watching to pay attention to his dad's entrance into the room.
Just as the large man sat down on the couch, Adrienne whispered harshly from the kitchen, "Psst! Billie! C'mere." Sighing, since he had just sat down and hoped to watch some cartoons with his boys, he sat up and staggered into the kitchen. "Yes Adie?" The woman before him simply whispered, "Don't you remember what day it is?" Billie stood there, confused. "Uuum.. Saturday?" His wife sighed, "No, silly, don't you remember what SPECIAL OCCASION it is today?" "Errr... Uum.." the rocker stuttered, obviously not able to remember. "Uuh.. Happy anniversary?" Billie guessed stupidly. Adrienne giggled. "No, dumb ass, it's Jake's birthday. Why else do you think I would let him use up a whole box of cheerio's just so he could hit you with them?"
He laughed. "Ooh. Now I remember." Leaning in closer, making sure that Jakob couldn't hear, she said quietly, "Could you take the boys to the pool while I get everything ready? And be sure to wear your big ass Elton John sunglasses so no one recognizes you, 'kay?" Chuckling, Billie nodded. He had been waiting for an opportunity to spend some time with his sons. Touring all the time can really make you miss your family.
"Hey Joe, Jake, we're going swimming, go get all your stuff ready so we can leave." He said with a giddy smile on his face. As soon as his boys heard this news, they jumped off the couch and ran upstairs. "I don't understand why you can make them do things and I can't," Adie said with a laugh. Laughing along with his wife, Billie Joe did his imitation of Superman and said in a deep voice, "It's because I am the great BJ. Giving the kids presents even if it ISN'T their birthday!" Earning a giggle from his wife.
**
"Bye honey! We'll be back around 12:30pm!" Billie Joe yelled, half-way out the door, followed by two loud, "Bye mommy's!" Adrienne loved how loyal and loving her family was towards her. She really did have the perfect life. Snapping out of her happy thoughts, Adie stood up from her dining room table and raced to the pantry where she had hidden everything needed for Jake's birthday. Well, everything except for the ice-cream cake with Spiderman on it. That was put in the freezer.
Gently placing the plastic bag containing streamers, balloons, and other things needed for a 7 year old's birthday on the kitchen counter, the middle aged woman looked around the plain room.. Clapping her hands together in mock excitement, Adrienne said to no one in particular, "Let's make birthday magic!"
**
"Hey, Adie? We're on our way home now. Yes, I called Mike and Tre'. They're both coming. Yeh. Be home soon. Love yah." As he hung up his cellphone, he snickered at how his wife was always overreacting. "Dad? When will we be home?" Joey asked from the back seat. "Soon, Joe. In maybe about ten minutes, 'kay?" Billie responded. "Kay."
**
"Tre' Cool has entered the building!" The drummer announced loudly as he entered the Armstrong household. "It's not a building, dumb ass, it's a house," Mike stated. "Same thing!" Tre' said, defending himself. "Yeah Tre', and you and a cantaloupe are the same thing too." Mike retaliated. "Mike, that was just lame. You're running out of insults, fartbag." Tre'giggled. "Fartbag? Nah. I prefer 'Oh Great One." said the bassist. "Well, 'Oh Great One, ' you can suck my non-existant testical." Mike had to laugh at this statement. "Tre', that means I don't suck your testical at all." Tre' just stuck his tongue out like a child would do, making Mike roll his eyes.
"Tre', I'm starting to regret giving you a key to our house," Billie Joe's wife said from the living room.
"Ooh ADIIIEEE, we're hungry. Give us food!" shouted Tre'. "SHUT THE FUCK UP TRE', I'M BUSY!" Adrienne called from the other room. "Ooh... Tre' got burned." Mike added, immitating the term 'burned' from his daughter Estelle, who said it more than occasionally.
"What are you doing in there anyway, Adie?" asked the curious bassist. "Wrapping Jake's present, what else?" came her reply. Mike chuckled. "So, is there anything you want us to do?" He asked. "Hmm... Why don't you go sit down and watch T. V or something. Knowing Tre', he might break something if he's doing anything els-" Adie was cut off by the loud sound of glass breaking. "Dammit Tre! What did you break now?" She yelled down the hall.
"I swear the mirror started it! It was questioning my good looks, so it should have known what was coming!" Tre' responded with the most innocent voice he could come up with. Adrienne just shook her head, quickly finishing wrapping the present she had bought for their youngest son and proudly walking out of the living room, placing it on the table where all the rest of the presents would go.
Today was just a family birthday party for Jake. The fun one with all of his little 7 year old friends would be the next week. Mike picked up his gift that he had put on the floor earlier and gently put it on the table along with Tre's. Mike couldn't really tell what Tre's present to Jakob was, but it was shaped so oddly that he wasn't sure he wanted to.
Mike's thoughts were interrupted by the door slowly creaking open, and Billie Joe tip-toeing up to Adrienne, whispering something in her ear.
"Quick! Turn off all the lights, hide behind the couch, and get ready to shout 'happy birthday' like a horse with mad cow disease!" Adrienne hissed to Tre' and Mike, who did as they were told, although they weren't quite sure about the 'horse with mad cow disease' part.
About a minute of suspense later, two shadowy faces appeared at the front door. "Mommy? Daddy? Where are you?" Said the littelest before turning on the lights, only to be greeted by a loud...
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!" and another not so loud, "Happy birthday Beanoo!" from a certain drummer standing in the corner.
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