"I've Done Twins", chapter 30
Tre threw a chip at Mike. He'd tuned out again.
"Come on Mike! Stay focused!" Tre leaned across the table and slapped Mike's cheek.
"That's gotta be the third time in the past fifteen minutes he's tuned out like that,"
Muttered Billie.
"Oh, shut up," Mike snapped, "I'm thinking, alright? Gimme a break."
"What are you thinking about?" Tre asked, putting his elbows on the table and cradling
his head in his hands.
"No! Lemme guess!" Jason interrupted, "Leah?"
"Bingo," Mike smiled, "Well... yeah. Like, she'll be living with me. For good. It'll be
so great."
"Jesus, Mike. You're not getting married! Don't exaggerate," Billie laughed.
"Yeah, man. She might dump your ass," Tre ate another chip that had been drowned in
tomato sauce.
"Tre, you eat worse then a three year old," Billie laughed, handing him a napkin.
"That's what Claudia said," Tre said, "Oh... wait... she might have been talking to
Frankito... no wait... she was DEFINATELY talking to me... I think... Dunno, wasn't
listening. Do you think she would have said 'Wipe your face you disgusting pig of an
asshole' to me, or Kito?"
"Is it a surprise he's been divorced twice?" Joked Jason.
"Shut up," Tre snapped.
"Anywho..." Mike cut in, "I'm just saying, I'm glad she said yes. Aren't you guys glad
that Jess and Hayles agreed?"
Tre and Jason both nodded.
"That doesn't explain why you've been smiling like a loony for the past two days,"
Billie said, "C'mon Mike, tell all!"
"Ok," He sighed like a school girl revealing her crush to all her friends, "It's about
Leah."
"Oh my God, I wouldn't have guessed," Tre mumbled sarcastically, knowing perfectly
well it was about her.
"She's pregnant."
Billie looked at Mike, stunned. Jason's eyes nearly fell out of his head and a seagull
looked very tempted to fly into Tre's open mouth and take that chewed up hot chip.
"Please, ew, Tre, shut your mouth," Mike said.
"Pregnant?" Asked Billie, "Geez! Congratulations, Mike!"
"Yeah! Well done!" Cheered Jason.
"Pregnant?!" Tre shouted, "Like... BABY pregnant? Or 'she's-putting-on-weight'?!"
"She's not putting on weight," Scoffed Mike, "She's having a baby."
"Jesus H. Christ! Mike! Well done!" Tre pat his back, "I thought you meant..."
"Tre, just shut up," Billie snapped, shoving some more chips in his mouth.
Mike, Jason, Billie and Tre walked down the street when they ran into the girls.
Mike leaned in to kiss Courtney. Who he thought was Leah.
Courtney laughed nervously and pushed him away. She pecked his cheek instead.
"Sorry, Mike, my lips are... uh..."
"Chapping!" Leah butt in, "Yeah, my lips..."
"MY lips, are chapping."
The boys, and girls, looked confused. Courtney and Leah laughed nervously.
"Let's get walking," Leah said.
Billie put his arm around Leah's waist and held her close. Leah slapped his hand away.
"Sorry, Billie, not in public. I'm kinda... shy about all that."
"No you aren't," He said. "Just the other day you and I..."
Courtney, who had Mike's arm around her shoulder, glared at her twin, which,
technically, was like glaring at herself.
"Can't we at least hold hands?" Asked Billie.
"N-"
"YEAH!" Courtney interrupted, "Go on... Leah..."
"Leah?" Asked Mike, looking oddly down at Courtney, "YOU'RE Leah."
"Uh..." Courtney tried looking for excuses. "Tricked you," She fake laughed.
"Haha, we were trying to see if you'd think we swapped places. But we didn't. But
you thought we did!" Leah said, joining hands with Billie to make it seems believable.
Tre looked oddly at the girls with a suspicious expression.
At Home...
Courtney and Leah were finding it tough pretending to be each other. Leah had to
make sure that her hair was covering the freckle on the side of her forehead, and
Courtney had to act tomboyish and tough. When they were walking a bug flew infront
of Courtney and she screamed. Leah stared at her twin, screaming.
"God, Leah," Courtney sighed, "It's so tough being you."
"Hm, it's tough being you. Courts, I'm NOT afraid of bugs! You can't flip out
whenever you see one!"
"Yeah well... I don't normally reject Billie when he tries to kiss me."
"He's not trying to kiss you," Snapped Leah, trying to keep her voice down, "He's
trying to kiss ME!"
"He tried to peck your cheek!"
The twins were standing in Courtney's room.
"Alright, before I go back out there..." Leah started, "Is there any insider jokes I need
to know?"
"Nope," Courtney said, "What about with you?"
"Uh... don't think so. Well... me and Tre are sorta having this pretend fight so if he
calls you a slut, don't take offence."
Courtney's head jerked back at the weirdness of that.
"Don't let Billie... get far with you."
"That man isn't gonna get a fucking kiss outta me," Leah hissed, "Don't worry. I
won't do anything you wouldn't."
"Good," Smiled Courtney.
"Did you notice anything weird about Courts and Lee?" Asked Jase.
"Not anything too out of the ordinary," Replied Tre.
"She wouldn't let me touch her," Billie said, sounding puzzled, "Usually I'm allowed
to at LEAST put my arm around her."
"Same," Mike said, "Leah didn't want me to kiss her or hug her much or anything."
"That's normal, isn't it?" Asked Tre. "Jess seems fine. So does Hayley."
"Talking about me, boys?" Asked Courtney, coming out onto the porch where the
boys were sitting.
"No," Jason said quickly. "We weren't talking about you, Lee. Just talking about...
uh..."
"BEER!" Tre input, "Yeah, I named my beer, after you, Lee."
She sat down next to Billie and put her head on his shoulder.
"Uh... Leah...?" Billie said, shrugging to get her head off.
"Leah?" Asked Courtney quietly. "Oh! Right! Sorry, Bill. I just... haha, wanted you to
know I... uh... love ya, bud!" She playfully punched his shoulder.
She went over and pecked Mike's cheek.
"Better run, I've got some stuff to do!"
Tre watched Leah and Courtney as they stood in the kitchen preparing dinner. He tried
to figure out what was different about them.
"You're a bitch, Lee," Tre said.
"Thanks," Courtney replied with a grin. She was rather proud of herself for picking
that one up so quickly. Leah brushed her hair behind her shoulder. Tre saw the small
freckle on the side of her head. He gasped.
"Leah!" He shouted. Leah, who was STILL being Courtney, looked up. Then quickly
looked down, knowing what she had done.
"I know what you're doing! You swapped places! You sneaky little shits!"
Courtney slammed her hand over his mouth.
"Shut up, Tre!" She whispered, "Don't let anyone else know."
"Tre, we're just playing a simple prank," Leah explained.
"You're the first one to figure it out," Smiled Courtney.
"Well done."
He grinned as Courtney took her hand away from his mouth.
"So... you've tricked us?" He asked.
"We got you good," Chuckled Courtney, "Twins are a pain, eh?"
"Well... you'd better go tell your boyfriend's that, because they're out there thinking
their girlfriend's don't love them anymore."
Courtney and Leah shot worried glances at each other.
"Really?"
"Hmm mm," He nodded. "Courtney, hope you don't have issues with kissing Mike."
Courtney's eyes went wide and her expression told Leah and Tre that she wanted
nothing to do with it.
"I'm not kissing him! Ew!"
"Well, ok then, Leah, you better get out there and give Billie some lovin'."
Leah rolled her eyes.
"How can you kiss Mike?" Asked Courtney, "It's like... kissing your brother."
"How can you kiss Billie?" She asked, "He... his after shave's too strong."
"I like it!" Tre hissed, in an outraged tone.. Courtney stared at him, "I mean... SHE
likes it."
"Alright, we've gotta get out there and... love them.... I guess."
"Aw, gross," Mumbled Courtney.
"Come on Mike! Stay focused!" Tre leaned across the table and slapped Mike's cheek.
"That's gotta be the third time in the past fifteen minutes he's tuned out like that,"
Muttered Billie.
"Oh, shut up," Mike snapped, "I'm thinking, alright? Gimme a break."
"What are you thinking about?" Tre asked, putting his elbows on the table and cradling
his head in his hands.
"No! Lemme guess!" Jason interrupted, "Leah?"
"Bingo," Mike smiled, "Well... yeah. Like, she'll be living with me. For good. It'll be
so great."
"Jesus, Mike. You're not getting married! Don't exaggerate," Billie laughed.
"Yeah, man. She might dump your ass," Tre ate another chip that had been drowned in
tomato sauce.
"Tre, you eat worse then a three year old," Billie laughed, handing him a napkin.
"That's what Claudia said," Tre said, "Oh... wait... she might have been talking to
Frankito... no wait... she was DEFINATELY talking to me... I think... Dunno, wasn't
listening. Do you think she would have said 'Wipe your face you disgusting pig of an
asshole' to me, or Kito?"
"Is it a surprise he's been divorced twice?" Joked Jason.
"Shut up," Tre snapped.
"Anywho..." Mike cut in, "I'm just saying, I'm glad she said yes. Aren't you guys glad
that Jess and Hayles agreed?"
Tre and Jason both nodded.
"That doesn't explain why you've been smiling like a loony for the past two days,"
Billie said, "C'mon Mike, tell all!"
"Ok," He sighed like a school girl revealing her crush to all her friends, "It's about
Leah."
"Oh my God, I wouldn't have guessed," Tre mumbled sarcastically, knowing perfectly
well it was about her.
"She's pregnant."
Billie looked at Mike, stunned. Jason's eyes nearly fell out of his head and a seagull
looked very tempted to fly into Tre's open mouth and take that chewed up hot chip.
"Please, ew, Tre, shut your mouth," Mike said.
"Pregnant?" Asked Billie, "Geez! Congratulations, Mike!"
"Yeah! Well done!" Cheered Jason.
"Pregnant?!" Tre shouted, "Like... BABY pregnant? Or 'she's-putting-on-weight'?!"
"She's not putting on weight," Scoffed Mike, "She's having a baby."
"Jesus H. Christ! Mike! Well done!" Tre pat his back, "I thought you meant..."
"Tre, just shut up," Billie snapped, shoving some more chips in his mouth.
Mike, Jason, Billie and Tre walked down the street when they ran into the girls.
Mike leaned in to kiss Courtney. Who he thought was Leah.
Courtney laughed nervously and pushed him away. She pecked his cheek instead.
"Sorry, Mike, my lips are... uh..."
"Chapping!" Leah butt in, "Yeah, my lips..."
"MY lips, are chapping."
The boys, and girls, looked confused. Courtney and Leah laughed nervously.
"Let's get walking," Leah said.
Billie put his arm around Leah's waist and held her close. Leah slapped his hand away.
"Sorry, Billie, not in public. I'm kinda... shy about all that."
"No you aren't," He said. "Just the other day you and I..."
Courtney, who had Mike's arm around her shoulder, glared at her twin, which,
technically, was like glaring at herself.
"Can't we at least hold hands?" Asked Billie.
"N-"
"YEAH!" Courtney interrupted, "Go on... Leah..."
"Leah?" Asked Mike, looking oddly down at Courtney, "YOU'RE Leah."
"Uh..." Courtney tried looking for excuses. "Tricked you," She fake laughed.
"Haha, we were trying to see if you'd think we swapped places. But we didn't. But
you thought we did!" Leah said, joining hands with Billie to make it seems believable.
Tre looked oddly at the girls with a suspicious expression.
At Home...
Courtney and Leah were finding it tough pretending to be each other. Leah had to
make sure that her hair was covering the freckle on the side of her forehead, and
Courtney had to act tomboyish and tough. When they were walking a bug flew infront
of Courtney and she screamed. Leah stared at her twin, screaming.
"God, Leah," Courtney sighed, "It's so tough being you."
"Hm, it's tough being you. Courts, I'm NOT afraid of bugs! You can't flip out
whenever you see one!"
"Yeah well... I don't normally reject Billie when he tries to kiss me."
"He's not trying to kiss you," Snapped Leah, trying to keep her voice down, "He's
trying to kiss ME!"
"He tried to peck your cheek!"
The twins were standing in Courtney's room.
"Alright, before I go back out there..." Leah started, "Is there any insider jokes I need
to know?"
"Nope," Courtney said, "What about with you?"
"Uh... don't think so. Well... me and Tre are sorta having this pretend fight so if he
calls you a slut, don't take offence."
Courtney's head jerked back at the weirdness of that.
"Don't let Billie... get far with you."
"That man isn't gonna get a fucking kiss outta me," Leah hissed, "Don't worry. I
won't do anything you wouldn't."
"Good," Smiled Courtney.
"Did you notice anything weird about Courts and Lee?" Asked Jase.
"Not anything too out of the ordinary," Replied Tre.
"She wouldn't let me touch her," Billie said, sounding puzzled, "Usually I'm allowed
to at LEAST put my arm around her."
"Same," Mike said, "Leah didn't want me to kiss her or hug her much or anything."
"That's normal, isn't it?" Asked Tre. "Jess seems fine. So does Hayley."
"Talking about me, boys?" Asked Courtney, coming out onto the porch where the
boys were sitting.
"No," Jason said quickly. "We weren't talking about you, Lee. Just talking about...
uh..."
"BEER!" Tre input, "Yeah, I named my beer, after you, Lee."
She sat down next to Billie and put her head on his shoulder.
"Uh... Leah...?" Billie said, shrugging to get her head off.
"Leah?" Asked Courtney quietly. "Oh! Right! Sorry, Bill. I just... haha, wanted you to
know I... uh... love ya, bud!" She playfully punched his shoulder.
She went over and pecked Mike's cheek.
"Better run, I've got some stuff to do!"
Tre watched Leah and Courtney as they stood in the kitchen preparing dinner. He tried
to figure out what was different about them.
"You're a bitch, Lee," Tre said.
"Thanks," Courtney replied with a grin. She was rather proud of herself for picking
that one up so quickly. Leah brushed her hair behind her shoulder. Tre saw the small
freckle on the side of her head. He gasped.
"Leah!" He shouted. Leah, who was STILL being Courtney, looked up. Then quickly
looked down, knowing what she had done.
"I know what you're doing! You swapped places! You sneaky little shits!"
Courtney slammed her hand over his mouth.
"Shut up, Tre!" She whispered, "Don't let anyone else know."
"Tre, we're just playing a simple prank," Leah explained.
"You're the first one to figure it out," Smiled Courtney.
"Well done."
He grinned as Courtney took her hand away from his mouth.
"So... you've tricked us?" He asked.
"We got you good," Chuckled Courtney, "Twins are a pain, eh?"
"Well... you'd better go tell your boyfriend's that, because they're out there thinking
their girlfriend's don't love them anymore."
Courtney and Leah shot worried glances at each other.
"Really?"
"Hmm mm," He nodded. "Courtney, hope you don't have issues with kissing Mike."
Courtney's eyes went wide and her expression told Leah and Tre that she wanted
nothing to do with it.
"I'm not kissing him! Ew!"
"Well, ok then, Leah, you better get out there and give Billie some lovin'."
Leah rolled her eyes.
"How can you kiss Mike?" Asked Courtney, "It's like... kissing your brother."
"How can you kiss Billie?" She asked, "He... his after shave's too strong."
"I like it!" Tre hissed, in an outraged tone.. Courtney stared at him, "I mean... SHE
likes it."
"Alright, we've gotta get out there and... love them.... I guess."
"Aw, gross," Mumbled Courtney.
