"I've Done Twins", chapter 40

"I swear I'm gonna beat your ass this time, Mike," Tre said, "Your days of beating me are over."

"But I'll still be reigning champ," Billie grinned upon entering. "Prepare to get beat."

Chris, Scott and Andy looked amused. "Billie usually wins, I take it?" Andy said.

"You bet your sweet ass I do," Billie grinned. He turned to Tre, Mike and Jason.

"Ready when you are."

Tre's bright blue eyes narrowed. "Prepare to lose."

Leah sat with Ryan on her lap, Andy on her left and Ronnie on her right. Jason
"Freesey" Freese and Chris were in charge of signalling start and go. Go-Cart engines were revving up.

"On ya marks," Chris started.

"Get set..." Freesey added.

"GO!" They both screamed in unison. Billie took off like a bat out of Hell. Jess was nearly pissing herself laughing at how stupid Mike looked with long legs in a tiny-ass Go Cart.

"GO BILLIE! GO BILLIE!" Courtney started chanting. "YOU'RE KICKING ARSE!"

"GO MIKE, YA LITTLE SPEED DEMON!" Scott screamed over-top of her. "C'MOOON MIKEY!"

Cheers erupted through the studio. Everyone was cheering for their favourite. Scott and Leah were cheering for Mike, Chris and Courtney were cheering for Billie, Andy and Jess were going for Tre and Ronnie, Freesey and Hayley were going for Jason.

Second lap in Billie favor. He was closely followed by Tre and Jason and Mike tagging along behind. Leah laughed at the look of determination on Tre's face. He was hell-bent on winning. Ryan was clapping on her lap, as though he were cheering for his Daddy. Before Billie could even notice- Jason shot out in front of him and was coming first. Jason's cheer squad nearly lost their heads. Jason got to cocky near the end of the second lap, waving and showing off- when Tre swung out and over took him. Jason had a mini spin out meaning Billie Joe AND Mike could overtake him. Chris and Freesey were commentating like mad. It was down to Billie and Tre. Tre still coming first with Billie at a close second, and Mike just cruising along at third.

"FINAL LAP!" Chris and Freesey screamed in unison.

"Hey, look," Andy joked, "It's Mario and Luigi!"

Leah laughed when she noticed Tre in his red Warning top and Billie in a green Operation Ivy shirt. Sparks starting flying when Billie knocked wheels with Tre. Tre turned the corner and started shoving Billie off the track. Closer. Closer. They were so close to the finish line. The positions kept changing, the support squads were going nuts. Tre gripped the steering wheel and prayed to every God there was that he'd cross first.

And one of those God's must've liked him. Billie's engine fizzled from lack of petrol.

He slowed and Tre zipped across the finish line. Tre's cheer squad, Andy and Jess, hugged each other and jumped around in victory. Tre stopped and stared in shock that wheel.

"TRE COOL IS THE WINNER!" Freesey shouted. Courtney and Chris were also stunned. Stunned that Billie had lost. Mike rolled over the finish line second, looking pretty impressed with himself. Tre jumped up, fists in the air and a big, smug grin on his face.

"IN YOUR FUCKING FACE BILLIE!" he yelled. "VICTORY IS FUCKING MINE!"

Billie glared at Tre as everyone ran over and gave him a hug. Billie, for the first time in years, was beaten at in a go kart race. Courtney kneeled down next to the disappointed little guitarist and kissed his cheek.

"You did your best," she said sweetly.

"But my best didn't make me win," he said sulkily throwing off his lucky racing gloves. She smiled and stroked his cheek.

"Well if it makes you feel any better you're a winner in my eyes."

"Not in mine, mate!" Chris laughed, running over and pouncing on the growing pile of Tre fans.

Courtney took his hand and pulled him out of the kart. She kissed his lips as he
stood up against her. "You did good."

"Really?" he smiled bashfully.

"Good. But not great," she teased. "Come on, be a good sport and go shake Tre's hand."

Billie licked the palm of his hand and spat into it and offered it to Tre. Tre took his hand and shook it.

"LOSER!" Tre screamed in his face.

"Really?" Billie grinned. "Look at your hand."

Tre's eyes widened with horror. He looked at his palm. Covered in Billie's spit.
"EEYUCK!" He screeched, wiping it on the nearest person, which was Scott.

"Ah!" Scott gasped, "My favourite shirt!"

But even though his hand smelt like spit, nothing could ruin Tre's good mood. He FINALLY won. After years, and years of being beat...he'd won. And because Jason well and truly got his ass kicked, was shouting everyone drinks in celebration.

Scott was having a ball playing with little Ryan because he wasn't able to drink...much...as he was the designated driver. Tre was soaking up a lot of attention and everyone was stroking his ego, unfortunately, that was the only thing being stroked.

His clean hand was holding Jess's and he had the biggest smug grin on his face. Billie wanted to go over and wipe it right off.

"How old's this little guy?" Scott asked, bouncing Ryan on his knee.

"About three months," Leah answered. "Geez, he's taken a shine to you. He hasn't drooled all over your shirt yet."

"Yet," Scott repeated with a laugh in his voice.

"Courtney..." Chris started. Courtney's heart skipped a beat. Billie's grip on her hand got somewhat tighter. "Are you and Billie engaged or anything?"

She smiled. "No, we're not. We just happy being...the way we are."

"Past the 'I love you' stage," Leah teased. "Waaay past."

Billie gave her the shut up look. "Did Mike tell you that he's engaged?" Billie grinned evilly.

"Mikey?" Chris gasped. "Mikey Dirnt...engaged yet again?"

"Hey!" Mike protested, "What do you mean yet again?"

Leah looked somewhat uncomfortable talking about how many partners Mike had.

"Who cares about that?" Tre came to Leah's rescue. "All that matters now is Mike's selling his soul to Satan herself."

Leah glared at him. "Glad you think so highly of me."

"I love ya," he winked.

After three hours of talking and drinking a fairly tipsy Chris and Andy were piled into the car by Scott.

"Can't believe these blokes," Scott groaned, shoving Chris into the backseat.

"They drink as though they won't wake up tomorrow."

"They might not," Mike laughed, "Andy looks almost comatosed."

"Well, he's still as heavy as ever," Scott grinned.

Scott finished strapping Chris and Andy down and turned back to Leah, Jess, Courtney, Hayley, Tre, Jason, Billie and Mike. He smiled.

"Nice to see you all again."

Leah couldn't help herself. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Scott and hugged him.

"Come and visit whenever you like," she smiled. "It'll be great havin' another Aussie around."

"You can host the next drinking contest," he whispered to her.

Jess and Courtney were giggling at Chris, lying with his head on Andy's lap, his legs wide open and looking rather vulnerable.

"Let's just crawl in with him," Jason said from behind them, "Ooh, we could fuck the shit outta that man and he wouldn't even realise."

Jess elbowed Jason's ribs. Jason laughed, half in pain and half at his joke.

"Billie," Mike said while waiting in the bathroom, "Did I thank you for taking Ryan tonight?"

"Many times," Billie said from inside the cubical.

"Well..." Mike grinned cheekily, "Thanks again."

"Stop thanking me, you'll make me feel good."

"God forbid," Mike chuckled, he heard the toilet flush and Billie came out and washed his hands.

"Your fly's still undone," Mike said innocently.

"Take a good look, my man," Billie grinned while fixing up his hair.

"No, really...your fly's undone."

Billie rolled his eyes and did his fly up. "Just lettin' it air out," he kept grinning.
Mike couldn't help but smirk as Billie pulled an eyeliner pencil out of his pocket and applied some more.

"You're such a pretty boy," Mike teased.

"Aww, thanks, darlin'," Billie grinned. "Y'know...I haven't seen you with eyeliner for a while..."

"I'm not an eyeliner person."

"Oh, bull. You look great with eyeliner," Billie said in his metro-sexual voice.

"C'mon, just a little bit."

"Billie...no."

"Not Benji Madden style. Just...just like Jason White style."

"I don't like that style," Mike protested as Billie pushed him against the wall, holding the eyeliner up at him. Mike tossed his head from side to side as Billie tried to put it on.

"You KNOW you want to Mike! You love it!"

They stopped. Mike and Billie turned their heads towards the door where Tre was standing. His eyes were wide. He looked terrified.

"I'll leave you..." he whispering, running out the door.

"Shit!" Mike shoved Billie away. "Now look what you've done! He thinks we were doing...unspeakable acts."

"I was putting eyeliner on you for Chrissakes," Billie snapped. "Don't get huffy with me. If you'd just put it on we shouldn't have this problem."

"I told you I wasn't putting that shit on!" Mike hissed back. "C'mon, let's go make sure Tre doesn't spread this around."

In The Lobby...

"And Billie had him pressed up against the wall!"

Everyone gasped. Except Leah, who snorted.

"What were they saying?" Hayley asked.

"All I heard was: No, I don't like that style from Mike and you know you want to Mike, you love it."

Leah couldn't contain it this time. She laughed out loud. "You guys are stupid," Leah laughed. "As if Mike and Billie would do that. They're best friends."

"But look at the accusations they put on Tre and Jason," Courtney argued, "This is no different."

"What accusations?" Tre asked suspiciously.

"Billie and Mike think you're gay. Didn't you know that?" Jess said.

"WHAT?!" Jason and Tre gasped in unison.

Billie and Mike ran in.

"What has IT told you," Billie narrowed his eyes at Tre.

"Oh, you," Tre laughed, adapting his homosexual voice. "Don't be SILLY! I was only telling them about THE BIGGEST NEWS- EVER!"

He pawed Billie's chest for the drama. He turned around and winked at Jason. Beckoning for him to play along.

"What news?" Billie asked suspiciously.

"Jason," Tre ran back over and hugged his best mate, "And I have come out of the closet."

Jess and Hayley's jaws dropped. Leah ran into the other room and laughed hysterically. When she came out, she took Ryan from Courtney's arms and pretended to giggle at her sleeping baby.

"Come out of the closet?" Mike gasped.

"Yes, you silly sausage," Jason grinned. "Tre and I just couldn't keep our love in the dark. So he decided we'd tell you all tonight. Isn't he just SUPER?"

Billie and Mike looked absolutely stunned. They were really believing it. Tre and Jason were spectacular liars.

"You...you...you're both...GAY?"

"One hundred percent," Jason said. "Hm...I think Tre's only 98.99 percent gay though. He seems more transsexual if anything."

Tre giggled. "Oh, Jase. You ARE to die for."

"This is horrifying," Jess gasped, "You're GAY?"

"I'm sorry, honey," Tre said sadly, turning his back to Mike and Billie and cupping his girlfriends face. Jess tried not to smile.

"It's just...I'd love you even more if you had a penis."

Jason couldn't stop himself from laughing that time. He nearly pissed himself.
Mike and Billie went from stunned to confused. "What the hell's so funny?" Billie demanded.

"WE'RE NOT GAY YOU FUCKIN' RETARD!" Tre shouted, getting on his knees and laughing hysterically.

Their faces fell. Mike's cheeks went red and Billie got into a playful murderous rage and got down to wrestle the two guys.

Leah went over to Mike and kissed his pink cheeks. "You got punk'd."

"I'll beat the shit of Ashton," Mike joked quietly. "I can't believe I fell for that. It was so obvious that it was a joke. You're a terrible actor."

Leah grinned. Mike took Ryan from her and hugged him. "Least my little man has a little respect for me."

"Wait until he's corrupt at the hands of Tre and Jason," Leah smiled at her two favourite boys together.

"Uh...I won't let them near him. It's bad enough Frankito's half way to pervert town."

"He's a good boy," Leah protested gently. "Wanna start heading home?"

Mike looked up with a dirty grin. "Do I ever!"

Leah shook her head. "You'll have to romanticize me first, matey."

"Aww, you KNOW I hate that," he joked, whispering so no one heard them.

"Come on," Leah sighed, pulling his arm.

"AYE MIKEY!" Tre and Jason shouted as Mike and Leah got in their car. "SCORE, BUDDY!"

"They're so immature," Leah laughed, putting her hand in Mike's as he drove off, shaking his head in embarrassment.

"I know," He said. "So...what's on the agenda tonight?"

Leah looked over with an evil grin. "You tell me."