"I've Done Twins", chapter 9
The Next Morning...
"Oh," Moaned Jason, "My head!"
Tre stirred from his sleep and saw Jason, "Man," Tre moaned, "Why am I all sticky?"
"We slept in beer," Grunted Jason, "I'm sticky, too!"
"Good morning boys," Mike said cheerfully, coming into the lounge room where Tre
and Jason were, "What smells like beer?"
"I do," Jason said, throwing his jacket onto the floor infront of him. Tre picked up
Jason's jacket and licked it.
"Tastes like beer," He grinned.
"Surprise surprise," Snapped Billie Joe, stumbling into the kitchen, crankily.
"What's the matter with you?" Asked Jason.
"Oh, maybe the fact that I was up all night listening to you losers!"
Jason and Tre grinned a wider grin, "Did we keep you up?" Asked Tre.
"You most certainly did," Smiled Leah, looking fresh and happy, "I recorded it!"
"Where?" Asked Tre, "You don't have a video camera."
"True," She said, reaching for her phone, "But I have a good phone." She flipped it
open and showed Jason and Tre, in their supreme drunkenness.
Outraged, Jason looked over at Tre and snapped, "Did you just call my shoes
slutty?" He asked.
"What if I did?" Tre grunted.
"I'm gonna kill you!" Jason screamed, jumping into Tre and wrestling with him.
"Slept with my shoes?" Mike asked, looking at Leah. Leah shrugged and pecked
Mike's cheek.
Billie was watching Tre and Jason, shaking his head.
"How about breakfast?" Billie asked Leah.
"Jesus Christ, what am I? The cook?"
"You're a woman," Smiled Billie, "It's you're job."
Leah, who doesn't take kindly to sexist-like remarks, turned and glared at Billie. Mike
shook his head.
"You're screwed now, Bill," Mike muttered.
"Would you care to repeat that, Billie Joe Armstrong?" Leah said, between gritted
teeth.
"Uh... I really meant to say... I'LL cook!" He went into the kitchen and began
cooking.
Still wrestling with Jason, Tre managed to say, "I'll have some toast, Bill!"
"And I'll have some coffee," Mike smiled. Courtney stumbled into the room, her hair
was a mess and her eyes were still half shut.
"Jesus Christ, Courtney," Gasped Leah, "You don't normally look this bad in the
morning."
"She usually brushes her hair before anyone sees her," Laughed Billie.
"I didn't sleep well last night," She mumbled, grabbing the coffee that was meant to be
for Mike.
"How come?" Leah asked, putting her arm around Courtney.
"Because I had two little pests constantly coming into the room," She glared at Jason
and Tre.
"Sorry," Jason grinned.
"Yeah, sorry Courts."
At The Breakfast Table...
"Ew," Shouted Tre, pushing his plate and toast away.
"What?" Asked Billie.
"It's BURNT!" He screwed his face up, "I hate burnt toast!"
"Look, kid, I made that toast, and you're gonna EAT it, and you're gonna LIKE it,
ok?" Billie snapped, shoving the toast into Tre's tightly shut lips.
Mike rolled his eyes and looked down at his coffee.
"What are we doing today?" He asked.
"I dunno," Courtney shrugged, "I was thinking we could fly to Rome or Italy for a
week or two."
Leah's eyes widened, "Why would you want to go there?" She asked.
"I was joking," Mumbled Courtney, pushing her cereal around with her spoon.
"Well," Tre grinned, "Me and Jase are going to go see that new horror movie, it's
gonna be so cool!"
"What's with you two?" Asked Leah, "Are you lovers now?"
Tre smirked and Jason chuckled, "No," Jase said, "We're just going to see a movie,
you could come if you want."
Leah shook her head, "Nah, I'll pass."
"Why?" Asked Mike, poking her side, "Scared?"
Courtney laughed, "Leah? Scared? That'll be the day!"
"Exactly," She said, nodding proudly at her sister, "I'm not scared of anything!"
"Boo," Tre shouted in her ear. Leah rolled her eyes and Courtney screamed.
"Courtney's the only chicken in the family." Said Leah, sounding a little
sarcastic.
At The Movies...
Courtney saw the poster on the wall of the movie she was about to see. Billie put his
arm around her waist and kissed her neck.
"Don't worry, Courts, if it gets to scary, you just tell me," He said.
"Look at this, Billie! Even the poster gives me the heeby jeebies!"
Walking past with their arms full of snacks, Tre and Jason looked at the poster.
"Pssh!" Tre scoffed, "It doesn't look so scary."
"Not at all," Jason agreed, "I betcha I won't get scared one bit!"
"Please turn your phone off in the cinema, thank you." Said one of the commercials.
Tre immediently got out his phone and went through his ring tones.
Mike tried not to laugh at the stupidness of Tre but couldn't help it. Tre grinned with
satisfaction.
"TURN THAT THING OFF, BUDDY!" Yelled some guy from the front. Tre stood
up and waved his phone around as his American Idiot ringtone played over and over.
"Tre," Billie hissed, "Sit down!"
The lights dimmed and the movie started, after all the God damn previews ended. Tre
and Jason were munching loudly on snacks. Courtney was holding Billie's hand and
Leah had her head resting on her hand, bored. Mike, was staring at the screen, waiting
for the good bits of the movie.
"Hey buddy," Tre shouted at a guy, "Down in front!"
Jason and Tre threw popcorn over the isles at people, disrupting everyone.
"Tre, I came so I could watch a movie, so shut up!" Snapped Leah.
Fifteen Minutes Later....
"ARGH! OH MY GOD! JASON HOLD ME!" Tre screamed at the top of his lungs, as
a crazy-ass murderer jumped onto the screen, slicing open a girl.
"NO! YOU HOLD ME!" Jason screamed, hiding his face in Tre's arms. Courtney was
also hiding her face, in Billie's chest. And Leah was staring at the screen, still with the
bored expression, as Mike was half watching and half looking away in disgust.
"Is it over?" Tre squeaked, hiding his head.
"Yeah, it's over," Leah grinned. Courtney, Jason and Tre looked up just in time to see
more gruesome, disgusting, horrific murder slicing scenes. They screamed again. Billie
shook his head at Leah. Leah's grin became bigger and cheekier.
After the movie, Leah walked out, unshaken, undisturbed and unhorrified. Courtney
was a little shaken, but Billie kept his arm around her and told her, repeatedly, that it
was 'just a movie'.
Jason and Tre were so shaken up their legs were deemed unable to carry them. They
leaned on each other, their eyes wide and teeth chattering. Mike seemed to be fine, like
Leah, as was Billie.
"That wasn't really THAT scary," Mike shrugged, "I mean, the gore was... a little too
much to seem real."
"Are you kidding?!" Shouted Courtney, "All the manslaughter and carnage! It was
awful! Gross!"
"You'll get over it," Shrugged Leah.
"Mike," Tre reached out and touched Mike's shoulder, "Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"No," Mike snapped, "Sleep with Jason."
"I can't," Tre pouted, "Jase is stayin' home tonight."
"Wow, Jason has a home?" Joked Leah.
"Do you?" Jason snapped.
Leah simply poked her tongue out.
Later...
"LEAH?!" Shouted Tre.
"WHAT?" Leah shouted back, from her bedroom, where she was cleaning.
"CAN I BORROW YOUR CAR?"
"YOU SCRATCH IT AND I'LL KILL YOU, TRE!"
Tre grabbed the car keys, rolled his eyes and went out to Leah's sexy, black BMW.
Courtney was out, in a bikini washing Billie's car.
"Why are you using Leah's car?" She asked.
"Mine's low on gas," Shrugged Tre, "And why are you out in a bikini in the middle of
Autumn?"
"Because," She replied, grabbing the hose and running it over the car, "I want to. Now
piss off before I spray you!"
Tre got in the car and drove, as calmly as he could, to Jase's house. He tried to be
gentle with the car, considering it wasn't his.
"Hey, Tre," Smiled Jason, "I didn't expect you to come over."
"Neither did I," Tre grinned, "Remember when I borrowed $20 off you and then I
repaid you? Well, that $20 I gave you as pay back... I need it back."
"But..." Started Jason, "It's pay back, it's my money."
"Just give me twenty bucks and I'll pay you back!" He shouted.
"Why do you want money, Tre? You're in one of the biggest bands in the world! Why
would you need to borrow money?"
"I forgot my wallet, ok?" He looked into Jason's eyes with a puppy pout.
"Why do you need money, Tre?" He asked.
"Because," Tre grinned, "Mike wants me to pick up some stuff for him."
Jason sighed and gave Tre some money.
"I WANT to be paid back, Tre," He snapped, slamming the door shut.
"Whatever," Cackled Tre, walking back to the car.
"Bread... check! Milk... check! Vegies... check! Condoms?" Tre rubbed his eyes to see
if he read correctly. He giggled insanely. "Ooh, Mike!" Tre said, "How... sexy!"
He went into the condom and other junk isle. He stared at all the different types and
brands.
"Oh shit," Tre muttered, "Large? Medium? Small... extra large... What size is Mike?"
A woman, who overheard him saying 'what size is Mike' turned around and stared at
Tre. Tre went cross eyed and pulled a face at the woman. She continued with her
shopping. Tre pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Mike.
"Yes, Tre?" Mike answering, sighing.
"Uh, Mike, I saw the... uh..." He looked around to see if anyone else was in the isle.
There wasn't, Tre whispered into the phone, "Condoms on the list."
"Yeah? So?" Mike snapped, "I'd rather buy them then get her pregnant..."
"Yeah, but," Tre cut him off, "You're not buying them so she won't get pregnant! I
AM! He paused, before asking, completely embarrassed. "What size or whatever do I
get?"
He went bright red and turned around so he wasn't staring at the condoms and picked
something off the shelf, not looking at it. Mike told him what to get. Tre wrote it down
and hung up. He looked down at what he was holding. Extra absorbent tampons. Tre
screamed and dropped the box. "Ew!" He gasped, wiping his hand on his shirt.
He grabbed everything he needed when his phone rang again.
"What?" Tre snapped, answering his phone.
"Tre, it's Leah," She mumbled.
"No shit, Little Leah, caller I.D.!"
"Yeah, yeah, uh..." She sounded really nervous. "Tre, I need you to get something for
me, while you're there..."
"What?" Asked Tre, sighing and throwing the stuff into a basket and walking over to
isle nine, the candy isle.
"I need you to get some...." She mumbled something.
"What?" Asked Tre. She mumbled again. "Leah, I think my phone's screwing up, I
can't hear you."
"I need some... womanly.... things."
"Oh," Tre bit his bottom lip, trying not to laugh, "That time of the..."
"SHUT UP!" She screamed into the phone, "They're... not for me."
"Well, they're not for Courtney either, she's out in bikini's gettin' wet and everything.
Who else in the house suffers periods? Billie? Mike?"
"Just shut up and buy them, you jerk!" She snapped, before hanging up.
Tre giggled the whole way down isle three.
After he paid for everything, and getting weird looks for the check out girl for buying
condoms and tampons, Tre walked out to the carpark. The car was gone. Then, Tre
remembered what he had done.
He left the keys on the roof of the car.
Unlocked.
With the windows down.
"HOLY SHIT!" He screamed, running around frantically, trying to find the car.
"FUCK! LEAH'S GONNA MURDER ME!"
Tre grabbed his phone and called Billie.
"Hello?" Questioned Billie.
"Bill? It's Tre, I have a problem."
"I know, you're insane," Laughed Billie.
"No, I'm going to die," Tre groaned, "Y'know Leah's car, the one she loves, her
'baby'...?"
"Yes..." Billie said suspiciously.
"Well..." Tre sighed, "It's been stolen."
Billie went quiet. "Billie?" Asked Tre, "Billie? Oh damn this phone's fucked!"
"No, it's not the phone," Said Billie, "IT'S YOU! YOU'RE AN IDIOT TRE!"
"Don't you think I know that?!" He moaned, banging his forehead with his
wrist. "Billie, can you please come get me, I'm at the..."
"I know where you are, dicksock, I'm comin'."
Tre sat in the space where the car used to be. He put his head in his hands and sobbed,
not really crying, just sobbing. He was going to die. And his blood would be on Leah's
hands.
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you ok?" She asked. Tre looked up. A girl with long, curly blonde hair was
smiling at him. Her blue eyes sparkled and her beautiful face took Tre's breath away.
She gasped.
"Tre Cool?" She asked.
"I was Tre Cool," He muttered, "I'm as good as gone now."
"I'm Sophie," She smiled, offering her hand to him. Tre shook it and smiled. "What's
wrong?"
"My friend... Leah..." He looked around, "I kinda... lost her car."
"How can you lose a car?" She giggled.
"I dunno," Chuckled Tre, "But I did."
Tre and Sophie chatted for ten minutes, until Billie came.
"Nice talking to you, Tre," She blushed, "Uh... I'll see you later I guess."
"Uh, Sophie... if... maybe... y'know, if you want..."
Sophie giggled again, at him. His stuttering and stammering was really cute.
"You could give me your number and you know... we'll meet up later..."
"Sorry, Tre," Sophie said, "I have a boyfriend."
Billie, who could hear them talking through his open window, burst out laughing.
Sophie pat Tre's shoulder and left. Tre's face fell, then it reddened with
embarrassment. He climbed into Billie's car, not saying a word.
"You were REJECTED!" Laughed Billie, "Ahahahaha! Reject! Reject!"
"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX?!" Shouted Tre, "LONG TIME I
BET! HUH?! HUH?!"
Billie went quiet, and stopped teasing Tre.
"Actually, how long has it been since you've had sex?"
"None of your business!" He snapped, "Geez, pervert."
Tre laughed.
Leah was sitting on the porch, with Courtney when Tre got back. She saw Tre, in the
passenger side of Billie's car and her eyes widened.
Tre stepped out, with the stuff he bought.
"WHERE THE HELL'S MY CAR?!" Screamed Leah.
Tre pretended to burst out in tears and ran into Leah's arms. He didn't have to lean
down a bit, even though Leah was shorter then Tre, because she was standing on
steps, making her taller. He put his head on her chest. Leah put her hands up and
cuddled his head, running her fingers through his hair.
"Stop crying and tell me what's wrong," Leah said sweetly.
Tre, who was enjoying the time between Leah's breasts, still pretended to cry and
sniffed.
"These big guys mugged me!"
"WHAT?!" Shouted Leah, "They MUGGED you?! Oh my God! Tre! Are you alright,
sweetie?"
Tre shrugged, "I'm sure it's nothing therapy can't fix."
Leah kissed the top of Tre's head and let him go. Billie stared, with his mouth wide
open in amazement. Tre was a fantastic liar.
"Tre, are you alright?" Asked Courtney, putting her hand on his shoulder.
"I'll be fine," He stepped up onto the step and beckoned the girls for a kiss. They did.
Billie's jaw dropped further.
"WHAT?!" He shouted, "TRE YOU FILTHY ROTTEN LIAR!"
"SHUT UP BILLIE!" Tre screamed, "I'VE BEEN VIOLATED! THEY WERE
GOING TO RAPE ME AND LEAVE ME TO DIE!"
He pushed past the girls and pretended to be crying hopelessly, he ran into his room.
"Billie!" Hissed Courtney, "That was horrible! He wasn't like that when you
were mugged!"
"Yeah, Billie, geez," Leah rolled her eyes and both the girls went inside. Leaving Billie
alone with the groceries.
"Oh," Moaned Jason, "My head!"
Tre stirred from his sleep and saw Jason, "Man," Tre moaned, "Why am I all sticky?"
"We slept in beer," Grunted Jason, "I'm sticky, too!"
"Good morning boys," Mike said cheerfully, coming into the lounge room where Tre
and Jason were, "What smells like beer?"
"I do," Jason said, throwing his jacket onto the floor infront of him. Tre picked up
Jason's jacket and licked it.
"Tastes like beer," He grinned.
"Surprise surprise," Snapped Billie Joe, stumbling into the kitchen, crankily.
"What's the matter with you?" Asked Jason.
"Oh, maybe the fact that I was up all night listening to you losers!"
Jason and Tre grinned a wider grin, "Did we keep you up?" Asked Tre.
"You most certainly did," Smiled Leah, looking fresh and happy, "I recorded it!"
"Where?" Asked Tre, "You don't have a video camera."
"True," She said, reaching for her phone, "But I have a good phone." She flipped it
open and showed Jason and Tre, in their supreme drunkenness.
Outraged, Jason looked over at Tre and snapped, "Did you just call my shoes
slutty?" He asked.
"What if I did?" Tre grunted.
"I'm gonna kill you!" Jason screamed, jumping into Tre and wrestling with him.
"Slept with my shoes?" Mike asked, looking at Leah. Leah shrugged and pecked
Mike's cheek.
Billie was watching Tre and Jason, shaking his head.
"How about breakfast?" Billie asked Leah.
"Jesus Christ, what am I? The cook?"
"You're a woman," Smiled Billie, "It's you're job."
Leah, who doesn't take kindly to sexist-like remarks, turned and glared at Billie. Mike
shook his head.
"You're screwed now, Bill," Mike muttered.
"Would you care to repeat that, Billie Joe Armstrong?" Leah said, between gritted
teeth.
"Uh... I really meant to say... I'LL cook!" He went into the kitchen and began
cooking.
Still wrestling with Jason, Tre managed to say, "I'll have some toast, Bill!"
"And I'll have some coffee," Mike smiled. Courtney stumbled into the room, her hair
was a mess and her eyes were still half shut.
"Jesus Christ, Courtney," Gasped Leah, "You don't normally look this bad in the
morning."
"She usually brushes her hair before anyone sees her," Laughed Billie.
"I didn't sleep well last night," She mumbled, grabbing the coffee that was meant to be
for Mike.
"How come?" Leah asked, putting her arm around Courtney.
"Because I had two little pests constantly coming into the room," She glared at Jason
and Tre.
"Sorry," Jason grinned.
"Yeah, sorry Courts."
At The Breakfast Table...
"Ew," Shouted Tre, pushing his plate and toast away.
"What?" Asked Billie.
"It's BURNT!" He screwed his face up, "I hate burnt toast!"
"Look, kid, I made that toast, and you're gonna EAT it, and you're gonna LIKE it,
ok?" Billie snapped, shoving the toast into Tre's tightly shut lips.
Mike rolled his eyes and looked down at his coffee.
"What are we doing today?" He asked.
"I dunno," Courtney shrugged, "I was thinking we could fly to Rome or Italy for a
week or two."
Leah's eyes widened, "Why would you want to go there?" She asked.
"I was joking," Mumbled Courtney, pushing her cereal around with her spoon.
"Well," Tre grinned, "Me and Jase are going to go see that new horror movie, it's
gonna be so cool!"
"What's with you two?" Asked Leah, "Are you lovers now?"
Tre smirked and Jason chuckled, "No," Jase said, "We're just going to see a movie,
you could come if you want."
Leah shook her head, "Nah, I'll pass."
"Why?" Asked Mike, poking her side, "Scared?"
Courtney laughed, "Leah? Scared? That'll be the day!"
"Exactly," She said, nodding proudly at her sister, "I'm not scared of anything!"
"Boo," Tre shouted in her ear. Leah rolled her eyes and Courtney screamed.
"Courtney's the only chicken in the family." Said Leah, sounding a little
sarcastic.
At The Movies...
Courtney saw the poster on the wall of the movie she was about to see. Billie put his
arm around her waist and kissed her neck.
"Don't worry, Courts, if it gets to scary, you just tell me," He said.
"Look at this, Billie! Even the poster gives me the heeby jeebies!"
Walking past with their arms full of snacks, Tre and Jason looked at the poster.
"Pssh!" Tre scoffed, "It doesn't look so scary."
"Not at all," Jason agreed, "I betcha I won't get scared one bit!"
"Please turn your phone off in the cinema, thank you." Said one of the commercials.
Tre immediently got out his phone and went through his ring tones.
Mike tried not to laugh at the stupidness of Tre but couldn't help it. Tre grinned with
satisfaction.
"TURN THAT THING OFF, BUDDY!" Yelled some guy from the front. Tre stood
up and waved his phone around as his American Idiot ringtone played over and over.
"Tre," Billie hissed, "Sit down!"
The lights dimmed and the movie started, after all the God damn previews ended. Tre
and Jason were munching loudly on snacks. Courtney was holding Billie's hand and
Leah had her head resting on her hand, bored. Mike, was staring at the screen, waiting
for the good bits of the movie.
"Hey buddy," Tre shouted at a guy, "Down in front!"
Jason and Tre threw popcorn over the isles at people, disrupting everyone.
"Tre, I came so I could watch a movie, so shut up!" Snapped Leah.
Fifteen Minutes Later....
"ARGH! OH MY GOD! JASON HOLD ME!" Tre screamed at the top of his lungs, as
a crazy-ass murderer jumped onto the screen, slicing open a girl.
"NO! YOU HOLD ME!" Jason screamed, hiding his face in Tre's arms. Courtney was
also hiding her face, in Billie's chest. And Leah was staring at the screen, still with the
bored expression, as Mike was half watching and half looking away in disgust.
"Is it over?" Tre squeaked, hiding his head.
"Yeah, it's over," Leah grinned. Courtney, Jason and Tre looked up just in time to see
more gruesome, disgusting, horrific murder slicing scenes. They screamed again. Billie
shook his head at Leah. Leah's grin became bigger and cheekier.
After the movie, Leah walked out, unshaken, undisturbed and unhorrified. Courtney
was a little shaken, but Billie kept his arm around her and told her, repeatedly, that it
was 'just a movie'.
Jason and Tre were so shaken up their legs were deemed unable to carry them. They
leaned on each other, their eyes wide and teeth chattering. Mike seemed to be fine, like
Leah, as was Billie.
"That wasn't really THAT scary," Mike shrugged, "I mean, the gore was... a little too
much to seem real."
"Are you kidding?!" Shouted Courtney, "All the manslaughter and carnage! It was
awful! Gross!"
"You'll get over it," Shrugged Leah.
"Mike," Tre reached out and touched Mike's shoulder, "Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"No," Mike snapped, "Sleep with Jason."
"I can't," Tre pouted, "Jase is stayin' home tonight."
"Wow, Jason has a home?" Joked Leah.
"Do you?" Jason snapped.
Leah simply poked her tongue out.
Later...
"LEAH?!" Shouted Tre.
"WHAT?" Leah shouted back, from her bedroom, where she was cleaning.
"CAN I BORROW YOUR CAR?"
"YOU SCRATCH IT AND I'LL KILL YOU, TRE!"
Tre grabbed the car keys, rolled his eyes and went out to Leah's sexy, black BMW.
Courtney was out, in a bikini washing Billie's car.
"Why are you using Leah's car?" She asked.
"Mine's low on gas," Shrugged Tre, "And why are you out in a bikini in the middle of
Autumn?"
"Because," She replied, grabbing the hose and running it over the car, "I want to. Now
piss off before I spray you!"
Tre got in the car and drove, as calmly as he could, to Jase's house. He tried to be
gentle with the car, considering it wasn't his.
"Hey, Tre," Smiled Jason, "I didn't expect you to come over."
"Neither did I," Tre grinned, "Remember when I borrowed $20 off you and then I
repaid you? Well, that $20 I gave you as pay back... I need it back."
"But..." Started Jason, "It's pay back, it's my money."
"Just give me twenty bucks and I'll pay you back!" He shouted.
"Why do you want money, Tre? You're in one of the biggest bands in the world! Why
would you need to borrow money?"
"I forgot my wallet, ok?" He looked into Jason's eyes with a puppy pout.
"Why do you need money, Tre?" He asked.
"Because," Tre grinned, "Mike wants me to pick up some stuff for him."
Jason sighed and gave Tre some money.
"I WANT to be paid back, Tre," He snapped, slamming the door shut.
"Whatever," Cackled Tre, walking back to the car.
"Bread... check! Milk... check! Vegies... check! Condoms?" Tre rubbed his eyes to see
if he read correctly. He giggled insanely. "Ooh, Mike!" Tre said, "How... sexy!"
He went into the condom and other junk isle. He stared at all the different types and
brands.
"Oh shit," Tre muttered, "Large? Medium? Small... extra large... What size is Mike?"
A woman, who overheard him saying 'what size is Mike' turned around and stared at
Tre. Tre went cross eyed and pulled a face at the woman. She continued with her
shopping. Tre pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Mike.
"Yes, Tre?" Mike answering, sighing.
"Uh, Mike, I saw the... uh..." He looked around to see if anyone else was in the isle.
There wasn't, Tre whispered into the phone, "Condoms on the list."
"Yeah? So?" Mike snapped, "I'd rather buy them then get her pregnant..."
"Yeah, but," Tre cut him off, "You're not buying them so she won't get pregnant! I
AM! He paused, before asking, completely embarrassed. "What size or whatever do I
get?"
He went bright red and turned around so he wasn't staring at the condoms and picked
something off the shelf, not looking at it. Mike told him what to get. Tre wrote it down
and hung up. He looked down at what he was holding. Extra absorbent tampons. Tre
screamed and dropped the box. "Ew!" He gasped, wiping his hand on his shirt.
He grabbed everything he needed when his phone rang again.
"What?" Tre snapped, answering his phone.
"Tre, it's Leah," She mumbled.
"No shit, Little Leah, caller I.D.!"
"Yeah, yeah, uh..." She sounded really nervous. "Tre, I need you to get something for
me, while you're there..."
"What?" Asked Tre, sighing and throwing the stuff into a basket and walking over to
isle nine, the candy isle.
"I need you to get some...." She mumbled something.
"What?" Asked Tre. She mumbled again. "Leah, I think my phone's screwing up, I
can't hear you."
"I need some... womanly.... things."
"Oh," Tre bit his bottom lip, trying not to laugh, "That time of the..."
"SHUT UP!" She screamed into the phone, "They're... not for me."
"Well, they're not for Courtney either, she's out in bikini's gettin' wet and everything.
Who else in the house suffers periods? Billie? Mike?"
"Just shut up and buy them, you jerk!" She snapped, before hanging up.
Tre giggled the whole way down isle three.
After he paid for everything, and getting weird looks for the check out girl for buying
condoms and tampons, Tre walked out to the carpark. The car was gone. Then, Tre
remembered what he had done.
He left the keys on the roof of the car.
Unlocked.
With the windows down.
"HOLY SHIT!" He screamed, running around frantically, trying to find the car.
"FUCK! LEAH'S GONNA MURDER ME!"
Tre grabbed his phone and called Billie.
"Hello?" Questioned Billie.
"Bill? It's Tre, I have a problem."
"I know, you're insane," Laughed Billie.
"No, I'm going to die," Tre groaned, "Y'know Leah's car, the one she loves, her
'baby'...?"
"Yes..." Billie said suspiciously.
"Well..." Tre sighed, "It's been stolen."
Billie went quiet. "Billie?" Asked Tre, "Billie? Oh damn this phone's fucked!"
"No, it's not the phone," Said Billie, "IT'S YOU! YOU'RE AN IDIOT TRE!"
"Don't you think I know that?!" He moaned, banging his forehead with his
wrist. "Billie, can you please come get me, I'm at the..."
"I know where you are, dicksock, I'm comin'."
Tre sat in the space where the car used to be. He put his head in his hands and sobbed,
not really crying, just sobbing. He was going to die. And his blood would be on Leah's
hands.
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you ok?" She asked. Tre looked up. A girl with long, curly blonde hair was
smiling at him. Her blue eyes sparkled and her beautiful face took Tre's breath away.
She gasped.
"Tre Cool?" She asked.
"I was Tre Cool," He muttered, "I'm as good as gone now."
"I'm Sophie," She smiled, offering her hand to him. Tre shook it and smiled. "What's
wrong?"
"My friend... Leah..." He looked around, "I kinda... lost her car."
"How can you lose a car?" She giggled.
"I dunno," Chuckled Tre, "But I did."
Tre and Sophie chatted for ten minutes, until Billie came.
"Nice talking to you, Tre," She blushed, "Uh... I'll see you later I guess."
"Uh, Sophie... if... maybe... y'know, if you want..."
Sophie giggled again, at him. His stuttering and stammering was really cute.
"You could give me your number and you know... we'll meet up later..."
"Sorry, Tre," Sophie said, "I have a boyfriend."
Billie, who could hear them talking through his open window, burst out laughing.
Sophie pat Tre's shoulder and left. Tre's face fell, then it reddened with
embarrassment. He climbed into Billie's car, not saying a word.
"You were REJECTED!" Laughed Billie, "Ahahahaha! Reject! Reject!"
"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX?!" Shouted Tre, "LONG TIME I
BET! HUH?! HUH?!"
Billie went quiet, and stopped teasing Tre.
"Actually, how long has it been since you've had sex?"
"None of your business!" He snapped, "Geez, pervert."
Tre laughed.
Leah was sitting on the porch, with Courtney when Tre got back. She saw Tre, in the
passenger side of Billie's car and her eyes widened.
Tre stepped out, with the stuff he bought.
"WHERE THE HELL'S MY CAR?!" Screamed Leah.
Tre pretended to burst out in tears and ran into Leah's arms. He didn't have to lean
down a bit, even though Leah was shorter then Tre, because she was standing on
steps, making her taller. He put his head on her chest. Leah put her hands up and
cuddled his head, running her fingers through his hair.
"Stop crying and tell me what's wrong," Leah said sweetly.
Tre, who was enjoying the time between Leah's breasts, still pretended to cry and
sniffed.
"These big guys mugged me!"
"WHAT?!" Shouted Leah, "They MUGGED you?! Oh my God! Tre! Are you alright,
sweetie?"
Tre shrugged, "I'm sure it's nothing therapy can't fix."
Leah kissed the top of Tre's head and let him go. Billie stared, with his mouth wide
open in amazement. Tre was a fantastic liar.
"Tre, are you alright?" Asked Courtney, putting her hand on his shoulder.
"I'll be fine," He stepped up onto the step and beckoned the girls for a kiss. They did.
Billie's jaw dropped further.
"WHAT?!" He shouted, "TRE YOU FILTHY ROTTEN LIAR!"
"SHUT UP BILLIE!" Tre screamed, "I'VE BEEN VIOLATED! THEY WERE
GOING TO RAPE ME AND LEAVE ME TO DIE!"
He pushed past the girls and pretended to be crying hopelessly, he ran into his room.
"Billie!" Hissed Courtney, "That was horrible! He wasn't like that when you
were mugged!"
"Yeah, Billie, geez," Leah rolled her eyes and both the girls went inside. Leaving Billie
alone with the groceries.
