Where'd You Go? (Track Twelve, III), chapter 21
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Just as quickly as they came, the tears stopped. Wren felt completely hollowed out, just a shell of anger with nothing inside.
He'd just been selfish. This whole relationship was not supposed to have been serious, I guess. At least not the way I thought it was going to be serious. Apparently, I should have gone the whole way with Billie Joe. At least then, I'd have something to balance the loss.
The door opened and Mike slipped in.
"Fuck off," Wren snapped. That made him halt, because she normally made a point to keep a fairly clean mouth. He was silent as his expressive features slid into resignation.
Damn his eloquent face. Damn the day I ever met him!
He sat at the foot, whilst she glowered from the head of the bed. For a long time, he looked at his hands. Wren bored a hateful stare right at the centre of his chest, hoping to pierce his shriveled heart.
"I suppose you heard enough."
"Yeah, it's nice to have a little truth after all the lies. You betrayed me. Is that why you forgave me at the motel, 'cause you hoped I'd do the same? You know what Mike? I'm fucking sick of everyone I love lying to me! It never seems to change. What is it about me that just screams 'Step right up, take advantage' huh?" His eyebrows came together in a pinched look, but he did not respond.
Yeah, you don't even have enough guts to tell me. I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
"How long were you going to wait until you told me? After we fucked," she spat out the word; it soured her mouth to a sneer, "a few more times? At least the guys knew you were up to shit, 'cause," she laughed and swiped at tears, "'cause I sure as hell didn't. I was just being happy."
Mike painfully eyed the ceiling before meeting her eyes." Wren, I forgave you at the motel because I wanted to. Not because I wanted the return favor. You want to know why I went with Tré? Because I thought that my world was falling apart and I might as well go down in flames. I wanted to prove that I could not care about us too. It was some sort of stupid revenge thing. It was revenge for something that never happened. I shouldn't have done it. I screwed it all up. That's why we can't be together." He stared at his feet and whispered, "I know it'll never be enough, but I'm sorry for everything. I never wanted to hurt you this way."
Oh, I am not going to fall for the hurt puppy-dog look. None of any of that ever again!
"What do you want Mike? Kiss and make up? Put my head back in the clouds for a few more minutes?" He looked over at her, and she could see tight angry lines along his mouth.
"You're being a bitch, you know that? I never did this to you, blew up like this."
"I'm blowing up from the inside. That's what happens when--what did Billie Joe say? --you play mind games. C'mon, you like seeing me like this; it probably makes you feel better."
Mike ran hands over his bandana in a smoothing motion. "I don't! Honestly, I don't. I don't want to end this, but you are proving exactly why. I don't like this any more than you. It makes me feel like shit. 'Cause I love you, at least I think I do."
"Of all the cheap tricks," Wren scoffed. She stopped her angry tirade to think. Is he actually being sincere? Some of her rage drained off. "Thought I did too." He did not react at all to her introspective confession. That started up the anger again. "Selfish prick," she snarled as she gave him a shove. He caught her wrists and narrowed his blue eyes.
"People make mistakes," he said quietly, and she stopped fighting to listen.
"Take your own advice." It was supposed to be an enraged hiss, but her traitorous mouth turned it into a soft whisper. A smile flickered on his face.
Do you think you're going to get off so easily? It's a trick. Well, I can shove one last sword into his gut; show him what he'd never get again.
He'd just been selfish. This whole relationship was not supposed to have been serious, I guess. At least not the way I thought it was going to be serious. Apparently, I should have gone the whole way with Billie Joe. At least then, I'd have something to balance the loss.
The door opened and Mike slipped in.
"Fuck off," Wren snapped. That made him halt, because she normally made a point to keep a fairly clean mouth. He was silent as his expressive features slid into resignation.
Damn his eloquent face. Damn the day I ever met him!
He sat at the foot, whilst she glowered from the head of the bed. For a long time, he looked at his hands. Wren bored a hateful stare right at the centre of his chest, hoping to pierce his shriveled heart.
"I suppose you heard enough."
"Yeah, it's nice to have a little truth after all the lies. You betrayed me. Is that why you forgave me at the motel, 'cause you hoped I'd do the same? You know what Mike? I'm fucking sick of everyone I love lying to me! It never seems to change. What is it about me that just screams 'Step right up, take advantage' huh?" His eyebrows came together in a pinched look, but he did not respond.
Yeah, you don't even have enough guts to tell me. I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
"How long were you going to wait until you told me? After we fucked," she spat out the word; it soured her mouth to a sneer, "a few more times? At least the guys knew you were up to shit, 'cause," she laughed and swiped at tears, "'cause I sure as hell didn't. I was just being happy."
Mike painfully eyed the ceiling before meeting her eyes." Wren, I forgave you at the motel because I wanted to. Not because I wanted the return favor. You want to know why I went with Tré? Because I thought that my world was falling apart and I might as well go down in flames. I wanted to prove that I could not care about us too. It was some sort of stupid revenge thing. It was revenge for something that never happened. I shouldn't have done it. I screwed it all up. That's why we can't be together." He stared at his feet and whispered, "I know it'll never be enough, but I'm sorry for everything. I never wanted to hurt you this way."
Oh, I am not going to fall for the hurt puppy-dog look. None of any of that ever again!
"What do you want Mike? Kiss and make up? Put my head back in the clouds for a few more minutes?" He looked over at her, and she could see tight angry lines along his mouth.
"You're being a bitch, you know that? I never did this to you, blew up like this."
"I'm blowing up from the inside. That's what happens when--what did Billie Joe say? --you play mind games. C'mon, you like seeing me like this; it probably makes you feel better."
Mike ran hands over his bandana in a smoothing motion. "I don't! Honestly, I don't. I don't want to end this, but you are proving exactly why. I don't like this any more than you. It makes me feel like shit. 'Cause I love you, at least I think I do."
"Of all the cheap tricks," Wren scoffed. She stopped her angry tirade to think. Is he actually being sincere? Some of her rage drained off. "Thought I did too." He did not react at all to her introspective confession. That started up the anger again. "Selfish prick," she snarled as she gave him a shove. He caught her wrists and narrowed his blue eyes.
"People make mistakes," he said quietly, and she stopped fighting to listen.
"Take your own advice." It was supposed to be an enraged hiss, but her traitorous mouth turned it into a soft whisper. A smile flickered on his face.
Do you think you're going to get off so easily? It's a trick. Well, I can shove one last sword into his gut; show him what he'd never get again.
