A smile filled with pain seeks through a world of sorrow and shame-, chapter 1
Long nights pass, endless hours of crying. What she wanted, was never true. What she wanted only grew of pain and lust. Weeping softly at what she had, was non-exsistant to the earth. Pain cringed her heart, and clasped hold of it forever. One year went by, now 12, she cannot bear to think of what she lost. Her mother has died, that one soft night at the age of 11. The year her loving boy-friend at age 14 had raped her. The year, she quickly turned homeless, living of her friend at 12, things weren't so well.
"I thought I told you to fucking be down by 12:15! 12 fuckin' 15!" Spat her friend, as she hit the 12 year old in the mouth. She felt blood drip down to the carpet, but she stood there, not wanting to move, feeling so scared, that she will not fullfil her life's destiny. "I have to fucking pick up after you. Look! I can see 3 fucking blood stains, you never bothered to clean up! 3! You worthless piece of shit. You're lucky I didn't turn you in," her friend hissed. Was that really a friend? Was it reality? Yes. The name of that 12 year old is Socrates. Sa-cra-tes. Long black hair, green foggy eyes, and very pale skin.
She looked up. Wiped hair from her face, and looked down, a puddle of blood, took a patch of carpet's place. What was white, not sit soaked reddish brown. She slowly walked towards the bathroom. She swung open the door. She gently pushed it shut. Locking it, she swept her had from the handle, to the corner of the counter-top. She took her hand, and turned on the fossit. Warm water approaching her lower lip, she grimmaced. She saw in the mirror, a small long scar on her for-arm, from when her father had raped her at age 7. She was resisting so he took a lamp and threw it at her. A tear blocked her view from her left eye. It traced down her pale cheek. She wiped it away, and turned off the water. She took a nearby washcloth, and dried her lip. As she look at herself in the mirror, she saw that her eye-liner was now smudged. She tried to smile at how silly she looked, but couldn't. She unlocked the door, and ran out of the bathroom. She made a right turn, put on a black sweater, and took the nearest wallet.
It was Shelby's. You know, the so called friend's. 50 dollars in it. Spoiled brat, was all Socrates thought. Mine now. She chuckled. The year of 82, 50 bucks was a lot. 1:00am in the morning, where to go. She ran out the door of her new home. She couldn't see much, only what the street lights could detail out. She ran down the block. To the bus stop area, was a seat. No one around, but a couple random cars now and then. She couldn't be seen, unless someone had a flashlight. She checked her watch, 1:12am. She looked at her black Converse. She had sewed a pocket in them. Since the were Hi-Tops, the pockets were long. She smiled, pushed some hair behind her ear, and took out a joint from her left shoe. A pretty fucked up kid eh? Well, after long slow drags, she decided to nap.
She fell asleep for about 2 hours. When she woke up, it was still dark. But she wasn't at the bus stop. She was in some field. She looked down, clothes were intact. She looked all around. She found some guy, sitting next to her. Around 15, 16, give or take. "Awake are we?" The stranger asked.
"From the looks of it, I would guess so," she replied.
"Don't be a smart ass, or I'll do the harshest thing."
"Where am I? And who the fuck do you think you are?"
"Oh Socrates-"
"How the fuck do you know my name?" Socrates was filled with rage. She fisted her hands up tight.
"How do I? Why remember long ago? I'm the one who, let's see, raped you."
"Eric, get the fuck away," she said firmly and slowly getting up.
"And what's a 12 year old like you gonna do about? Try and fight me?" Eric said laughing softly. She was about to kick him square in the stomach, but he caught her leg and twisted it.
"Let go!" she said strugging.
"How bout...... No."
He pulled her down, from her view she can see she was in the park, way in the back. He got on her, straddling her waist. She was tring to hit him, but he held her wrists up above her head. "Let go now," she demanded. She felt a tear drop down the side of her left eye. Now one from her right.
"But oh babe. Just one more time," Eric said, kissing down her neck. He carefully took off her sweater. She was sobbing now. He placed his hand up her shirt, high enough for her to bite it.
"Shit babe! What was that for!?" Eric yelled.
"Don't babe me. This is what you want, I'm my own person now." She got her fists and socked him right in the jaw. He fell over. She ran fast, as she got her sweater. She pulled it on, and ran out of the park. She heard distant yells. Socrates looked back while running, looked at her watch 4:35am and right as she looked forward, she ran into some guy. She fell down with the guy. She tried to get up, but she couldn't. She lay there crying. She sat up, and met another pair of green eyes.
"I thought I told you to fucking be down by 12:15! 12 fuckin' 15!" Spat her friend, as she hit the 12 year old in the mouth. She felt blood drip down to the carpet, but she stood there, not wanting to move, feeling so scared, that she will not fullfil her life's destiny. "I have to fucking pick up after you. Look! I can see 3 fucking blood stains, you never bothered to clean up! 3! You worthless piece of shit. You're lucky I didn't turn you in," her friend hissed. Was that really a friend? Was it reality? Yes. The name of that 12 year old is Socrates. Sa-cra-tes. Long black hair, green foggy eyes, and very pale skin.
She looked up. Wiped hair from her face, and looked down, a puddle of blood, took a patch of carpet's place. What was white, not sit soaked reddish brown. She slowly walked towards the bathroom. She swung open the door. She gently pushed it shut. Locking it, she swept her had from the handle, to the corner of the counter-top. She took her hand, and turned on the fossit. Warm water approaching her lower lip, she grimmaced. She saw in the mirror, a small long scar on her for-arm, from when her father had raped her at age 7. She was resisting so he took a lamp and threw it at her. A tear blocked her view from her left eye. It traced down her pale cheek. She wiped it away, and turned off the water. She took a nearby washcloth, and dried her lip. As she look at herself in the mirror, she saw that her eye-liner was now smudged. She tried to smile at how silly she looked, but couldn't. She unlocked the door, and ran out of the bathroom. She made a right turn, put on a black sweater, and took the nearest wallet.
It was Shelby's. You know, the so called friend's. 50 dollars in it. Spoiled brat, was all Socrates thought. Mine now. She chuckled. The year of 82, 50 bucks was a lot. 1:00am in the morning, where to go. She ran out the door of her new home. She couldn't see much, only what the street lights could detail out. She ran down the block. To the bus stop area, was a seat. No one around, but a couple random cars now and then. She couldn't be seen, unless someone had a flashlight. She checked her watch, 1:12am. She looked at her black Converse. She had sewed a pocket in them. Since the were Hi-Tops, the pockets were long. She smiled, pushed some hair behind her ear, and took out a joint from her left shoe. A pretty fucked up kid eh? Well, after long slow drags, she decided to nap.
She fell asleep for about 2 hours. When she woke up, it was still dark. But she wasn't at the bus stop. She was in some field. She looked down, clothes were intact. She looked all around. She found some guy, sitting next to her. Around 15, 16, give or take. "Awake are we?" The stranger asked.
"From the looks of it, I would guess so," she replied.
"Don't be a smart ass, or I'll do the harshest thing."
"Where am I? And who the fuck do you think you are?"
"Oh Socrates-"
"How the fuck do you know my name?" Socrates was filled with rage. She fisted her hands up tight.
"How do I? Why remember long ago? I'm the one who, let's see, raped you."
"Eric, get the fuck away," she said firmly and slowly getting up.
"And what's a 12 year old like you gonna do about? Try and fight me?" Eric said laughing softly. She was about to kick him square in the stomach, but he caught her leg and twisted it.
"Let go!" she said strugging.
"How bout...... No."
He pulled her down, from her view she can see she was in the park, way in the back. He got on her, straddling her waist. She was tring to hit him, but he held her wrists up above her head. "Let go now," she demanded. She felt a tear drop down the side of her left eye. Now one from her right.
"But oh babe. Just one more time," Eric said, kissing down her neck. He carefully took off her sweater. She was sobbing now. He placed his hand up her shirt, high enough for her to bite it.
"Shit babe! What was that for!?" Eric yelled.
"Don't babe me. This is what you want, I'm my own person now." She got her fists and socked him right in the jaw. He fell over. She ran fast, as she got her sweater. She pulled it on, and ran out of the park. She heard distant yells. Socrates looked back while running, looked at her watch 4:35am and right as she looked forward, she ran into some guy. She fell down with the guy. She tried to get up, but she couldn't. She lay there crying. She sat up, and met another pair of green eyes.
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