It's Not As Easy As It Looks, chapter 10
I twitched in my sleep, turning over on Billie's couch as I let my flashback from my past take over my body.
'"Where the fuck is it?! You can't loose things like that!" my dad ranted.
"It's somewhere around the house."
"You've thrown it fucking away!"
"No I haven't" My mother kept her cool like always, she was a saint and a hero in my eyes.
"You better fucking find it," he said getting a knife from the kitchen, I closed my eyes, feeling the panic rise but not letting it show as I kept my eyes focused on the computer screen in front of me. Don't hurt her dickhead
"I'm going to the pub and spending all your fucking pathetic money, if
I'm not out of this house in an hour, I'll slice this knife through you," he shouted stabbing the knife blade into the sofa, Great idea Sherlock,
another hole for memories.
"Okay, I'll get your clothes."
"Yeah well, I'm gonna give you black eyes anyways," I rolled my eyes as I watched him get ready and leave out the front door, I sighed to myself as I turned my music louder and focused on the good things in life.'
I groaned, stirring from my deep sleep, blinking my hazel eyes open and looking around the room, I sighed to myself and dropped my head back on the hard pillow, Billie had said that I could have his bed and he could sleep on the couch, but I didn't want to intrude, I didn't even want to take the guest room.
I wondered what time it was so I got up and opened the curtains only to be blinded by so much light, well the sun told me it was morning, but my eyes told me I was blind, I blinked a few times and saw green dots appear, I wondered over to the couch and sat down until I could fully see again when I heard someone clamber down the stairs.
"Hey," I heard someone murmur, I turned around and saw Billie, but a green blob appeared over his face, my eyes became wide and I looked away.
"What?" Billie said narrowing his eyebrows and sitting next to me.
"Never mind," I smiled, Billie nodded, got up and wandered off somewhere. I had finally got my vision back when I got off the couch and got dressed with the spare clothes I had in my bag. I stepped out the bathroom and was greeted by a groggy looking Jakob.
"Morning," I mumbled as he looked at me strangely.
"Why are you still here? Did you sleep in my dad's bed? I knew it! You love him," I groaned and rubbed my forehead.
"Look kid, your dad and I are just friends," Jakob's little smile that had appeared disappeared and he shrugged off into the bathroom.
"Dude don't be like-" The door closed and I sighed, "-that" I walked off and down the stairs with my bag.
"I'm off!" I shouted walking out the door.
"Wait!" Billie called out, he ran into the lounge and smiled.
"Want me to drive you?"
"Sure," I smirked as we got into his car and drove off to my place.
***
"Okay, thanks for having me!" I called out and watched Billie drive off, giving me a short wave and a smile, I closed the door and turned around to see Haushinka curled up on my couch, I smiled at how peaceful she looked. There was a loud bang from above me, I quirked an eyebrow and muttered one word.
'Morgan'
I walked upstairs and stared at her and the suitcase that had fell on the floor.
"What the hell?"
"Hey Jen, just got back from my parents, and I'm glad I'm back here, so much better," I nodded and smiled, walking into my room and laying down on the cold soft bed.
'I stomped up to my room in that good old fashion way of being sent to my bed, I sat down on my bed and kept back the tears, I never liked being hurt mentally, and I couldn't take it anymore, all my methods of getting over depression and helping me cope with my father never worked, I shook my head and sighed, I closed my eyes then gradually opened them and made my way to the bathroom, making sure no parents was near me when I got one of my dads razorblades and shuffled back into my cramped room, I looked around not actually believing what I was about to do, and when I did it felt good, I was punishing myself for being stupid and for being born, and it felt good, I was just about to do it when my mother came into my room, I threw the razorblade on top of my wardrobe and pulled my sweatband back over my wrist and looked away, pretending to read a book.
"Don't argue back with him."
"Whatever," I sighed and when she left I lay back down on my cold bed, closing my eyes and going to sleep..'
I got off the bed, almost laughing at the pathetic things I tried to get through the day.
There was a section in my life where I didn't think I could make it through the day, it was a feeling I couldn't describe, and I did so many things to make that feeling go, I try to block that part of my life out.
"Uh, I hate basketball," Kim sighed walking up to me and Jaz.
"I love it."
"Yeah so do I," Jaz smiled as our teacher started to put us into two groups to play basketball.
"Take off your sweatband please," Miss Swinnerton Ions asked, I looked around nervously and decided I had no other option then to take it off. We played basketball for 10 minutes when a penalty shot was being taken, Jaz and Kim stood by me, watching as they took their shot when Jaz's eyes diverted to my wrist.
She turned around and gasped and slapped my wrist.
"Ow! What the fuck?!"
"Self harm!?"
"Oh shut up you wouldn't understand."
"Ah, your daddy shout at you again?"
"Fuck off Jasmine," I turned away from Jaz and drooped my head down.
"Just fuck...off"
Bloody hypocrite, we became closer friends me and Jasmine and 6 months later I discovered scratch marks on her arm.
"Why do you do it? Comfort? To take away the guilt?" Jaz sighed and looked at me, she nodded.
"One time thing? Why?"
"Hard life," I smiled at her.
"You'll get through it."
I realized being trapped inside the house was bringing a lot of memories back from thinking too much, I ended up walking in circles at one point, then I walked into my door, I groaned in frustration and sat down on the couch and lay down.
"Dannii, give that to me!" Mrs. Bennett shouted as I looked behind me, I was sitting at the front of design and technology, I watched as Dannii shook her head, after about 2 minutes Dannii gave in and handed a shiny piece of metal..I knew what it was; a razor, Dannii ran out the classroom with her crimson blood running down her grey school jumper, I looked to my best friend Raych who had started to cry and ran out with her.
Why did they do it?
I picked up the nearest magazine by me and flicked through it, glancing at the boring pages and pictures.
"Katie was being a bitch to you then."
"Yeah, and she expects us to not talk about her."
"She's supposed to be our best friend.." I sighed.
"How can we not talk about her," I laughed as I looked to Aggie.
"You know, we're so similar, yet we're so different, we'll stick through everything together."
I stopped when I saw a page and gasped, 5 words came into my head.
What, why, when, how and who?!
It was a picture of me and Billie sitting on that cold bench on Christmas eve.
The new girl in Mr. Armstrong's life?!
No...fuck no, we're just friends, don't presume something, fuck no.
The picture was cute...but how could they just jump to conclusions, I shook my head and picked up my cell phone, calling Billie's home number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Billie...have you saw the latest Kerrang! magazine?"
"No why?"
"Just go to the shops and look at page 28."
"Uh...okay."
"Bye Billie."
"See yah," I flipped my cell phone closed and scratched my head.
***
I jumped up from the couch hearing Panic! At The Disco screaming from my mobile, I picked it up and realized I must of fell asleep.
"Hello?"
"This is ridiculous!"
"Oh, hi Billie," I laughed.
"I'll...I'll sue them" I bit my lip and shook my head.
"No, don't."
"Why?"
"It ain't their fault, they don't know the truth."
"We should tell them."
"Yes you should." There was a silence where Billie was processing what I just said through his head.
"You...?"
"Yeah you."
"Why me?"
"Because your the rock star, I'm just the unknown girl, you tell them."
"Okay." Another silence, it was uncomfortable, yet it wasn't comfortable, it's one of those silence's where you don't have anything to say and you hope the other person starts a conversation.
"So how are you?"
"Taking a trip down memory lane."
"I see...what?"
"I've just been thinking to much."
"Okay, if you want to talk you can just talk to me."
"I know I can, that's why I am talking to you," I smirked, I heard Billie laugh a little at the end of the line, it fell silent once again, and I heard mumbling on the other end, being the nosy person I am I eavesdropped on the line and listened carefully.
"Well you can sleep in my room."
"Oh I would like that." Ew.
"Billie can you please keep your private life to yourself," I laughed as Billie muttered something.
"Got a girlfriend."
"Sorta."
"How can you sorta have a girlfriend?"
"Well she's my friend and she's a girl, like you... well I think you are."
"Hmm...both of those are wrong."
"What?!"
"Meany."
"Whatever." He sighed as he had a conversation with the woman again.
"Who is it?" I must of surprised Billie who made a tiny scream.
"Just someone."
"Embarrassed?"
"Pfft no, you're just nosy."
"Tell me."
"Well you wouldn't know who she was anyways, her name is Violet."
"Cool, that used to be my grandma's name."
"Used to be?"
"She died."
"Ah yes, but it's still her name."
"I suppose."
"Okay so yeah I'm gonna go-"
"-and make love?"
"Of course, bye."
"Peace out," I laughed and put down the phone, thinking how fast 30 minutes could go by doing nothing but talk.
God I was so bored.
I turned on my MP3 player and put the awkward ear plugs into my ears and selected a track to lighten my mood.
'We're all gonna die someday lord
We're all gonna die someday
Mama's on pills daddy's over the hill
But we're all gonna die someday
Well it hurts down here on Earth lord
It hurts down here on Earth
It hurts down here cause we're running out of beer
But we're all gonna die someday'
I started doing a cowboy dance and sung out loud, I turned around to see Morgan's face in shock.
"What.The.Fuck?!"
"Er...Kasey Chambers."
"Uhm... the dancing?"
"You will never understand my twisted mind," I sighed and ran up stairs, continuing with my dancing.
***
Two knocks echoed down stairs, but with my MP3 player in I couldn't here a thing so Morgan answered.
"Hey Tré."
"Hey Morgan, Jenni in?"
"Uh, yeah...she's upstairs...er...meditating." Tré raised his eyebrow and shrugged, he made his way to my room where I was still singing 'Kasey Chamber's We're All Gonna Die Someday'.
"Mama's on pills daddy's over the hill-"
"But we're all gonna die someday," Tré sung, I heard that and spun on my heel, gasping and blushing with embarrassment.
"Uhm...I'm just."
"Meditating?"
"What?" I asked confused, sitting down on my bed and getting comfy, I switched my MP3 off and set it aside onto my bed stand.
"Nevermind, well I came here to ask whether or not you wanna come to a theme park with me?"
"Who else is going?"
"The guys, the girls."
"Uh...okay." Tré grinned, causing me to break into a smile.
"Oh and you want to come to the Grammy's with me too?" It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything or else I would of spat it out.
"W-what?!"
"You heard."
"What about Stevie?"
"Doesn't want to come, doesn't like the photography."
"Force her! I'm not going, I repeat not."
"Well okay." He sulked, giving me his best sad face that looked rehearsed.
"Give me time to think," I said, crushing under pressure.
"Awesome, okay, i'll pick you up tomorrow at 10am, okay?"
"Yeah" The Grammy's?! Was he nuts?! Thousands of cameras, questions, people, celebrities, and a lot of pressure.
No.
I could not go.
I bit my lip, did I want to go? Or was it because people would think I'm with Tré?
My phone rang out, I wanted it to stop so I could think, but I answered, sighing as I did.
"Hello?"
"Hey"
"What you want Billie?"
"Well..." he started, I rolled my eyes and lay down on my bed.
"The Grammy's are approaching." Your kidding me!? This is just my luck.
"Do you think I should ask Violet to go...I mean-"
"Yeah! Great idea!" I shut my phone and turned it off, sighing in relief as I could think about whether I should go to the Grammy's or not with Tré.
He has a girlfriend. I'm just a friend though...i'd look terrible next to the skinny people...everyone says I'm beautiful...are they lying?
Realizing I was fighting with my own inner demons I went to Morgan for some friendly advice.
"Morgan."
"I didn't do it!"
"That's so over used" Morgan laughed as I walked over to her and leaned on the kitchen counter.
"Should I go to the Grammy's with Tré?"
"Can you handle the people asking questions? The flashing lights? Or do you want to go cheer your best friends on, and not care what anyone thinks of you."
"Wow...that didn't help at all, thanks," I smiled lamely and walked away, I stopped in my tracks and thought of something to do.
Sign up for a driving test.
Perfect.
"Where are you going?" Morgan called out from the kitchen.
"Driving pla- wait...I don't know where that is...I don't know where anything around here is...crap," I sighed and looked at Morgan who had slumbered into the hall.
"I will walk you there."
"Walk? Ah man, I hate walking."
"It will do you some good."
"I am good."
"Pfft yeah right."
"You're so immature," I shook my head and walked outside, Morgan stepped out with me and I locked the door.
"How far?"
"I don't know...I'm here on holiday."
"Great, I live here permanently though."
"I only have a few days left, I go back on New Years eve."
"Aw man...I'm gonna miss you."
"Same here, but hey, we'll keep in touch."
"Yeah," I smiled as me and Morgan walked off, both not knowing where we was going.
***
It had been 5 whole days since that day, 5 days of thinking my answer to Tré's question, I had avoided him but he was right on my tail, which got really annoying. Really.
Morgan had unfortunately returned home at 2pm, with a few farewells and hugs, she was off on her way back home to New York, where I probably wouldn't see her again.
It was New Years eve, which meant that on midnight, I could throw the past away and start fresh with a new year.
8pm and it was pouring down of rain, from inside of some guys condo it sounded like the Blitz, and when the first sign of thunder struck, we knew we was expecting something interesting for the new year.
"Looks like we're not going outside for this year" Mark the owner of the condo sighed loudly as he rubbed his forehead.
"It's just a bit of rain," I cut in.
"And thunder and lightning."
"Whimps," I muttered under my breath as I walked away from the group of people looking out of the window, I have never known a new year's eve to be like this, normally it was dry or even snowing, but not a thunder storm, then again it was my first New Years Eve in California, maybe it was always like this.
I drew my head up to look at the wooden clock above Mark's fireplace, quarter past eight.
And I still couldn't shrug off a thought of something happening tonight.
Something really big.
"Hey Jen...wait it is your name right? Damn I shoulda got name tags." I narrowed my eyes and laughed quietly at Mark.
"Yeah I'm Jen."
"Do you know where Kyle went?"
"Who?" I asked puzzled.
"Ah you don't know him."
"No..." He walked passed me and up the stairs as I sat down on a leather recliner staring out the window.
"It's not gonna stop me from going outside," I mumbled after a few minutes as I got up from the recliner and slid open the patio doors.
"No don't!" someone shouted from inside, I felt the rain trickle down my back and I shuddered.
"Why?"
"The lightning," I rolled my eyes and looked at who was shouting, it was a little boy so I could understand if he was afraid of the weather.
"It's not gonna hurt me, now everyone outside and enjoy New Years" Everyone looked at me blankly, I shook my head and sat on a small blue plastic chair on the patio.
I get bored easily...and this was extremely boring, so after 20 minutes I went inside, and for the next 3 hours it was lame and even more lame, then came quarter to 12 and everyone has gathered up the courage to go into the rain, and to my surprise no of them melted (ha ha).
"See, none of you burst into flames."
"But we're drenched."
"You'll live," I smiled pathetically and a girl that looked to be 4 stone but my age, I mad my way and stood by the gang - Mike, Billie and Tré, along with Violet who was a very nice pretty girl.
Along came the countdown.
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
Goodbye old life.
1
Then all of a sudden explosions started everywhere, lighting the sky with multi colors, I smiled as I watched everyone celebrate and welcome the new year - 2006.
"Happy new year guys!" I shouted to them, who shouted it back over the roar of the fireworks.
This was the latest I had stayed up since Christmas Eve, and the night was just starting, we made our way over to the bar and celebrated with alcohol, at 3am in the morning we were stoned, I couldn't even stand up let alone walk in a straight line.
"Hey wanna play a game?" Tré slurred, spin the bottle...oh the disasters that brings, I spun the bottle and it landed on Mike, I didn't really mind kissing Mike or anything, we were friends and I knew it would stay that way, Violet spun the bottle...just my luck it landed on me and we ended making out till Tré split us up, then Billie spun and it landed on Mike I was laughing my head off at the two making out, then Mike spun and it landed on Violet who kissed, then Tré spun and it must of been Mike's lucky night because it landed on him again, then I spun, my eyes were focused on the bottle as it spun and gradually started to slow down and stop, I looked up, my eyes locking with the person it landed on.
Holy.Shit.
It was Billie Joe, I looked to Violet who seemed to be away with the faeries as her eye lids closed and opened, I bit my lip and leaned over, Billie caught on and leaned over as well, we was moments apart from kissing when I lost my balance and passed out.
Saved by the...passing out?
***
I woke up still laying on the floor next to Tré, but Violet and Billie were missing, I tried to move and stand up but Tré had a tight grip around my waist, god it did not feel right. I squeezed my way out and walked over the sleeping bodies, I sat down on Mark's couch rubbing my forehead, I had the worst headache ever and I couldn't remember much from last night, though after I passed out i'm sure that much more went on.
I decided to wake Tré and Mike up, they seemed to groan and just drift back into a slumber, I kicked both of them pretty hard and they shot up.
"What the fuck?!" Mike shouted at me.
"Had to get you up some how."
"You have a good kick," Tré moaned rubbing his stomach which I had just kicked.
"Where's Billie and Violet," I looked to Mike and he shrugged, I looked to Tré who seemed to be in the middle of a flashback, he gasped and looked at me.
"What?"
"I think...I think they got married" My eyes widened more and more each second.
"Oh my god."
"How?" Mike asked his best friend.
"They were both drunk, they went to a small church and got married."
"A 24/7 church?" I asked with my eyes narrowed.
"Dude, Billie is a millionaire, he probably paid a lot to get married."
"He hardly knows her," I bit my lip and scratched my head.
"Whatever, I'm going home," I left the house and started to walk home, not knowing that 20 minutes from Mark's house lay Billie Joe and Violet the newly wed couple on a hotel bed...
'"Where the fuck is it?! You can't loose things like that!" my dad ranted.
"It's somewhere around the house."
"You've thrown it fucking away!"
"No I haven't" My mother kept her cool like always, she was a saint and a hero in my eyes.
"You better fucking find it," he said getting a knife from the kitchen, I closed my eyes, feeling the panic rise but not letting it show as I kept my eyes focused on the computer screen in front of me. Don't hurt her dickhead
"I'm going to the pub and spending all your fucking pathetic money, if
I'm not out of this house in an hour, I'll slice this knife through you," he shouted stabbing the knife blade into the sofa, Great idea Sherlock,
another hole for memories.
"Okay, I'll get your clothes."
"Yeah well, I'm gonna give you black eyes anyways," I rolled my eyes as I watched him get ready and leave out the front door, I sighed to myself as I turned my music louder and focused on the good things in life.'
I groaned, stirring from my deep sleep, blinking my hazel eyes open and looking around the room, I sighed to myself and dropped my head back on the hard pillow, Billie had said that I could have his bed and he could sleep on the couch, but I didn't want to intrude, I didn't even want to take the guest room.
I wondered what time it was so I got up and opened the curtains only to be blinded by so much light, well the sun told me it was morning, but my eyes told me I was blind, I blinked a few times and saw green dots appear, I wondered over to the couch and sat down until I could fully see again when I heard someone clamber down the stairs.
"Hey," I heard someone murmur, I turned around and saw Billie, but a green blob appeared over his face, my eyes became wide and I looked away.
"What?" Billie said narrowing his eyebrows and sitting next to me.
"Never mind," I smiled, Billie nodded, got up and wandered off somewhere. I had finally got my vision back when I got off the couch and got dressed with the spare clothes I had in my bag. I stepped out the bathroom and was greeted by a groggy looking Jakob.
"Morning," I mumbled as he looked at me strangely.
"Why are you still here? Did you sleep in my dad's bed? I knew it! You love him," I groaned and rubbed my forehead.
"Look kid, your dad and I are just friends," Jakob's little smile that had appeared disappeared and he shrugged off into the bathroom.
"Dude don't be like-" The door closed and I sighed, "-that" I walked off and down the stairs with my bag.
"I'm off!" I shouted walking out the door.
"Wait!" Billie called out, he ran into the lounge and smiled.
"Want me to drive you?"
"Sure," I smirked as we got into his car and drove off to my place.
***
"Okay, thanks for having me!" I called out and watched Billie drive off, giving me a short wave and a smile, I closed the door and turned around to see Haushinka curled up on my couch, I smiled at how peaceful she looked. There was a loud bang from above me, I quirked an eyebrow and muttered one word.
'Morgan'
I walked upstairs and stared at her and the suitcase that had fell on the floor.
"What the hell?"
"Hey Jen, just got back from my parents, and I'm glad I'm back here, so much better," I nodded and smiled, walking into my room and laying down on the cold soft bed.
'I stomped up to my room in that good old fashion way of being sent to my bed, I sat down on my bed and kept back the tears, I never liked being hurt mentally, and I couldn't take it anymore, all my methods of getting over depression and helping me cope with my father never worked, I shook my head and sighed, I closed my eyes then gradually opened them and made my way to the bathroom, making sure no parents was near me when I got one of my dads razorblades and shuffled back into my cramped room, I looked around not actually believing what I was about to do, and when I did it felt good, I was punishing myself for being stupid and for being born, and it felt good, I was just about to do it when my mother came into my room, I threw the razorblade on top of my wardrobe and pulled my sweatband back over my wrist and looked away, pretending to read a book.
"Don't argue back with him."
"Whatever," I sighed and when she left I lay back down on my cold bed, closing my eyes and going to sleep..'
I got off the bed, almost laughing at the pathetic things I tried to get through the day.
There was a section in my life where I didn't think I could make it through the day, it was a feeling I couldn't describe, and I did so many things to make that feeling go, I try to block that part of my life out.
"Uh, I hate basketball," Kim sighed walking up to me and Jaz.
"I love it."
"Yeah so do I," Jaz smiled as our teacher started to put us into two groups to play basketball.
"Take off your sweatband please," Miss Swinnerton Ions asked, I looked around nervously and decided I had no other option then to take it off. We played basketball for 10 minutes when a penalty shot was being taken, Jaz and Kim stood by me, watching as they took their shot when Jaz's eyes diverted to my wrist.
She turned around and gasped and slapped my wrist.
"Ow! What the fuck?!"
"Self harm!?"
"Oh shut up you wouldn't understand."
"Ah, your daddy shout at you again?"
"Fuck off Jasmine," I turned away from Jaz and drooped my head down.
"Just fuck...off"
Bloody hypocrite, we became closer friends me and Jasmine and 6 months later I discovered scratch marks on her arm.
"Why do you do it? Comfort? To take away the guilt?" Jaz sighed and looked at me, she nodded.
"One time thing? Why?"
"Hard life," I smiled at her.
"You'll get through it."
I realized being trapped inside the house was bringing a lot of memories back from thinking too much, I ended up walking in circles at one point, then I walked into my door, I groaned in frustration and sat down on the couch and lay down.
"Dannii, give that to me!" Mrs. Bennett shouted as I looked behind me, I was sitting at the front of design and technology, I watched as Dannii shook her head, after about 2 minutes Dannii gave in and handed a shiny piece of metal..I knew what it was; a razor, Dannii ran out the classroom with her crimson blood running down her grey school jumper, I looked to my best friend Raych who had started to cry and ran out with her.
Why did they do it?
I picked up the nearest magazine by me and flicked through it, glancing at the boring pages and pictures.
"Katie was being a bitch to you then."
"Yeah, and she expects us to not talk about her."
"She's supposed to be our best friend.." I sighed.
"How can we not talk about her," I laughed as I looked to Aggie.
"You know, we're so similar, yet we're so different, we'll stick through everything together."
I stopped when I saw a page and gasped, 5 words came into my head.
What, why, when, how and who?!
It was a picture of me and Billie sitting on that cold bench on Christmas eve.
The new girl in Mr. Armstrong's life?!
No...fuck no, we're just friends, don't presume something, fuck no.
The picture was cute...but how could they just jump to conclusions, I shook my head and picked up my cell phone, calling Billie's home number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Billie...have you saw the latest Kerrang! magazine?"
"No why?"
"Just go to the shops and look at page 28."
"Uh...okay."
"Bye Billie."
"See yah," I flipped my cell phone closed and scratched my head.
***
I jumped up from the couch hearing Panic! At The Disco screaming from my mobile, I picked it up and realized I must of fell asleep.
"Hello?"
"This is ridiculous!"
"Oh, hi Billie," I laughed.
"I'll...I'll sue them" I bit my lip and shook my head.
"No, don't."
"Why?"
"It ain't their fault, they don't know the truth."
"We should tell them."
"Yes you should." There was a silence where Billie was processing what I just said through his head.
"You...?"
"Yeah you."
"Why me?"
"Because your the rock star, I'm just the unknown girl, you tell them."
"Okay." Another silence, it was uncomfortable, yet it wasn't comfortable, it's one of those silence's where you don't have anything to say and you hope the other person starts a conversation.
"So how are you?"
"Taking a trip down memory lane."
"I see...what?"
"I've just been thinking to much."
"Okay, if you want to talk you can just talk to me."
"I know I can, that's why I am talking to you," I smirked, I heard Billie laugh a little at the end of the line, it fell silent once again, and I heard mumbling on the other end, being the nosy person I am I eavesdropped on the line and listened carefully.
"Well you can sleep in my room."
"Oh I would like that." Ew.
"Billie can you please keep your private life to yourself," I laughed as Billie muttered something.
"Got a girlfriend."
"Sorta."
"How can you sorta have a girlfriend?"
"Well she's my friend and she's a girl, like you... well I think you are."
"Hmm...both of those are wrong."
"What?!"
"Meany."
"Whatever." He sighed as he had a conversation with the woman again.
"Who is it?" I must of surprised Billie who made a tiny scream.
"Just someone."
"Embarrassed?"
"Pfft no, you're just nosy."
"Tell me."
"Well you wouldn't know who she was anyways, her name is Violet."
"Cool, that used to be my grandma's name."
"Used to be?"
"She died."
"Ah yes, but it's still her name."
"I suppose."
"Okay so yeah I'm gonna go-"
"-and make love?"
"Of course, bye."
"Peace out," I laughed and put down the phone, thinking how fast 30 minutes could go by doing nothing but talk.
God I was so bored.
I turned on my MP3 player and put the awkward ear plugs into my ears and selected a track to lighten my mood.
'We're all gonna die someday lord
We're all gonna die someday
Mama's on pills daddy's over the hill
But we're all gonna die someday
Well it hurts down here on Earth lord
It hurts down here on Earth
It hurts down here cause we're running out of beer
But we're all gonna die someday'
I started doing a cowboy dance and sung out loud, I turned around to see Morgan's face in shock.
"What.The.Fuck?!"
"Er...Kasey Chambers."
"Uhm... the dancing?"
"You will never understand my twisted mind," I sighed and ran up stairs, continuing with my dancing.
***
Two knocks echoed down stairs, but with my MP3 player in I couldn't here a thing so Morgan answered.
"Hey Tré."
"Hey Morgan, Jenni in?"
"Uh, yeah...she's upstairs...er...meditating." Tré raised his eyebrow and shrugged, he made his way to my room where I was still singing 'Kasey Chamber's We're All Gonna Die Someday'.
"Mama's on pills daddy's over the hill-"
"But we're all gonna die someday," Tré sung, I heard that and spun on my heel, gasping and blushing with embarrassment.
"Uhm...I'm just."
"Meditating?"
"What?" I asked confused, sitting down on my bed and getting comfy, I switched my MP3 off and set it aside onto my bed stand.
"Nevermind, well I came here to ask whether or not you wanna come to a theme park with me?"
"Who else is going?"
"The guys, the girls."
"Uh...okay." Tré grinned, causing me to break into a smile.
"Oh and you want to come to the Grammy's with me too?" It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything or else I would of spat it out.
"W-what?!"
"You heard."
"What about Stevie?"
"Doesn't want to come, doesn't like the photography."
"Force her! I'm not going, I repeat not."
"Well okay." He sulked, giving me his best sad face that looked rehearsed.
"Give me time to think," I said, crushing under pressure.
"Awesome, okay, i'll pick you up tomorrow at 10am, okay?"
"Yeah" The Grammy's?! Was he nuts?! Thousands of cameras, questions, people, celebrities, and a lot of pressure.
No.
I could not go.
I bit my lip, did I want to go? Or was it because people would think I'm with Tré?
My phone rang out, I wanted it to stop so I could think, but I answered, sighing as I did.
"Hello?"
"Hey"
"What you want Billie?"
"Well..." he started, I rolled my eyes and lay down on my bed.
"The Grammy's are approaching." Your kidding me!? This is just my luck.
"Do you think I should ask Violet to go...I mean-"
"Yeah! Great idea!" I shut my phone and turned it off, sighing in relief as I could think about whether I should go to the Grammy's or not with Tré.
He has a girlfriend. I'm just a friend though...i'd look terrible next to the skinny people...everyone says I'm beautiful...are they lying?
Realizing I was fighting with my own inner demons I went to Morgan for some friendly advice.
"Morgan."
"I didn't do it!"
"That's so over used" Morgan laughed as I walked over to her and leaned on the kitchen counter.
"Should I go to the Grammy's with Tré?"
"Can you handle the people asking questions? The flashing lights? Or do you want to go cheer your best friends on, and not care what anyone thinks of you."
"Wow...that didn't help at all, thanks," I smiled lamely and walked away, I stopped in my tracks and thought of something to do.
Sign up for a driving test.
Perfect.
"Where are you going?" Morgan called out from the kitchen.
"Driving pla- wait...I don't know where that is...I don't know where anything around here is...crap," I sighed and looked at Morgan who had slumbered into the hall.
"I will walk you there."
"Walk? Ah man, I hate walking."
"It will do you some good."
"I am good."
"Pfft yeah right."
"You're so immature," I shook my head and walked outside, Morgan stepped out with me and I locked the door.
"How far?"
"I don't know...I'm here on holiday."
"Great, I live here permanently though."
"I only have a few days left, I go back on New Years eve."
"Aw man...I'm gonna miss you."
"Same here, but hey, we'll keep in touch."
"Yeah," I smiled as me and Morgan walked off, both not knowing where we was going.
***
It had been 5 whole days since that day, 5 days of thinking my answer to Tré's question, I had avoided him but he was right on my tail, which got really annoying. Really.
Morgan had unfortunately returned home at 2pm, with a few farewells and hugs, she was off on her way back home to New York, where I probably wouldn't see her again.
It was New Years eve, which meant that on midnight, I could throw the past away and start fresh with a new year.
8pm and it was pouring down of rain, from inside of some guys condo it sounded like the Blitz, and when the first sign of thunder struck, we knew we was expecting something interesting for the new year.
"Looks like we're not going outside for this year" Mark the owner of the condo sighed loudly as he rubbed his forehead.
"It's just a bit of rain," I cut in.
"And thunder and lightning."
"Whimps," I muttered under my breath as I walked away from the group of people looking out of the window, I have never known a new year's eve to be like this, normally it was dry or even snowing, but not a thunder storm, then again it was my first New Years Eve in California, maybe it was always like this.
I drew my head up to look at the wooden clock above Mark's fireplace, quarter past eight.
And I still couldn't shrug off a thought of something happening tonight.
Something really big.
"Hey Jen...wait it is your name right? Damn I shoulda got name tags." I narrowed my eyes and laughed quietly at Mark.
"Yeah I'm Jen."
"Do you know where Kyle went?"
"Who?" I asked puzzled.
"Ah you don't know him."
"No..." He walked passed me and up the stairs as I sat down on a leather recliner staring out the window.
"It's not gonna stop me from going outside," I mumbled after a few minutes as I got up from the recliner and slid open the patio doors.
"No don't!" someone shouted from inside, I felt the rain trickle down my back and I shuddered.
"Why?"
"The lightning," I rolled my eyes and looked at who was shouting, it was a little boy so I could understand if he was afraid of the weather.
"It's not gonna hurt me, now everyone outside and enjoy New Years" Everyone looked at me blankly, I shook my head and sat on a small blue plastic chair on the patio.
I get bored easily...and this was extremely boring, so after 20 minutes I went inside, and for the next 3 hours it was lame and even more lame, then came quarter to 12 and everyone has gathered up the courage to go into the rain, and to my surprise no of them melted (ha ha).
"See, none of you burst into flames."
"But we're drenched."
"You'll live," I smiled pathetically and a girl that looked to be 4 stone but my age, I mad my way and stood by the gang - Mike, Billie and Tré, along with Violet who was a very nice pretty girl.
Along came the countdown.
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
Goodbye old life.
1
Then all of a sudden explosions started everywhere, lighting the sky with multi colors, I smiled as I watched everyone celebrate and welcome the new year - 2006.
"Happy new year guys!" I shouted to them, who shouted it back over the roar of the fireworks.
This was the latest I had stayed up since Christmas Eve, and the night was just starting, we made our way over to the bar and celebrated with alcohol, at 3am in the morning we were stoned, I couldn't even stand up let alone walk in a straight line.
"Hey wanna play a game?" Tré slurred, spin the bottle...oh the disasters that brings, I spun the bottle and it landed on Mike, I didn't really mind kissing Mike or anything, we were friends and I knew it would stay that way, Violet spun the bottle...just my luck it landed on me and we ended making out till Tré split us up, then Billie spun and it landed on Mike I was laughing my head off at the two making out, then Mike spun and it landed on Violet who kissed, then Tré spun and it must of been Mike's lucky night because it landed on him again, then I spun, my eyes were focused on the bottle as it spun and gradually started to slow down and stop, I looked up, my eyes locking with the person it landed on.
Holy.Shit.
It was Billie Joe, I looked to Violet who seemed to be away with the faeries as her eye lids closed and opened, I bit my lip and leaned over, Billie caught on and leaned over as well, we was moments apart from kissing when I lost my balance and passed out.
Saved by the...passing out?
***
I woke up still laying on the floor next to Tré, but Violet and Billie were missing, I tried to move and stand up but Tré had a tight grip around my waist, god it did not feel right. I squeezed my way out and walked over the sleeping bodies, I sat down on Mark's couch rubbing my forehead, I had the worst headache ever and I couldn't remember much from last night, though after I passed out i'm sure that much more went on.
I decided to wake Tré and Mike up, they seemed to groan and just drift back into a slumber, I kicked both of them pretty hard and they shot up.
"What the fuck?!" Mike shouted at me.
"Had to get you up some how."
"You have a good kick," Tré moaned rubbing his stomach which I had just kicked.
"Where's Billie and Violet," I looked to Mike and he shrugged, I looked to Tré who seemed to be in the middle of a flashback, he gasped and looked at me.
"What?"
"I think...I think they got married" My eyes widened more and more each second.
"Oh my god."
"How?" Mike asked his best friend.
"They were both drunk, they went to a small church and got married."
"A 24/7 church?" I asked with my eyes narrowed.
"Dude, Billie is a millionaire, he probably paid a lot to get married."
"He hardly knows her," I bit my lip and scratched my head.
"Whatever, I'm going home," I left the house and started to walk home, not knowing that 20 minutes from Mark's house lay Billie Joe and Violet the newly wed couple on a hotel bed...
