It's Not As Easy As It Looks, chapter 11
Billie let out a loud groan, waking up Violet, they both sat up right, ignoring the headache as they thought about the previous night.
"What happened?"
"Did..we.." No sentences could escape their mouths as they were dumbfounded to find rings on both of their wedding fingers.
"We..did" Violet gulped and looked to Billie.
"Shiiiit" Billie Joe scratched his head and thought of what his next move was going to be.
"Well..where would you like to go on a honeymoon?" Billie laughed, Violet narrowed her eyes and turned away.
"You cannot be serious"
"The rings don't lie"
"This is so not right.."
"It feels so wierd"
I sat on my bed, day dreaming once again thinking of my past life with my family.
15 years old..already broken as I watched my dad say he hated my mother over and over again and wonder over to her who was writing some suduku, he tore up the paper and got closer to her face.
"Look at me when I'm talking bitch" He said through gritted teeth. "If you don't fucking get a job I'll fucking drag you done to your dad's by your hair till you fucking get one bitch, I want you to die Yvonne, why don't get you get a job?" My mother was curling hair, a habit at that had stuck by her, my dad got annoyed even more and spat out, "Stop curling your fucking hair, I'll fucking shave it all off, would you like that? What would it take for you to get a job you lazy bitch? Me to leave? I'll leave..I can, where will you be there then Yvonne? Fucking bitch"
He got up and sat in his seat, lighting a cigerette and inhaling the smoke which had made me have difficulting breathing, I was shaking, I hated it when he got worked up, but every time he did he got punished, like the next day his stomach would hurt or something stupid.
Times I wish he would always be nice, because I could live with him.
Sometimes I thought his anger covered his nice spells and out did them, it didn't even matter.
I hated him.
I hoped he would die.
Why?
He ruined my life.
Called me a piece of shit and destroyed it every single fucking day.
'It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy'
Out of no where I broke down, why did life have to be so bad? My bruised childhood left me scared and damaged for later life, I hadn't got a nice life, a good life. A supportive family not an abusive one is what I needed.
Friends helped me through a lot, they made me smile and got me through the day, but at the end of school I still had to face the home of misery.
I was glad to get a job in America because I thought I could run from my past, but it will always be stuck in my head.
My home phone rang out downstairs, I mumbled about having to walk all the way down stairs and I picked up the phone.
"Hello?" I sniffled and wiped some tears by my eyes.
"Hey, you okay?" Trust Tré to know somethings wrong.
"Just a bit of a hangover" I partly lied, I did have a hangover, but it wasn't why I was crying.
"So what you calling for?"
"Billie and Violet are in my house, asking me to help them sort out this mess"
"So they are married?"
"Yeah, and I don't think Violet is too pleased"
"I don't blame her"
"Oh come on Jen, you would lurve to marry Billie" I rolled my eyes and laughed nervously.
"Aw who told you?"
"My inner senses"
"Were they tingling?"
"Only when I'm standing next to you"
"Ewwww" I squeeled and laughed like a little kid.
"Okay I have a suprise"
"It is?"
"Come to your front door"
"Er - okay.." I opened the front door and screamed, I dropped my phone and it smashed on the carpet, Tré was standing infront of me looking smug, he noticed my red puffy eyes and walked inside, closing the door for me and sighing.
"It's not a hangover is it..now let me ask again and tell me the honest truth, are you okay?" I hesistated and paused, but decided it was best to tell him.
"No, everythings so wrong"
"Why?"
"I keep on thinking back to my old life and I realise I'm still in that life, I can't escape it because it is my life"
"Well..time to start a new one sweety, it's the first day of a new year.."
"It feels like something is holding me back, I can't describe it, I don't want to describe it"
"Well don't, just let go..or maybe you need to go back home and make amends" I shrugged and gave a weak smile to Tré, we were sitting on my couch and I rested my head on his shoulder.
"Thanks for being here for me"
"No problem, I know that Mike won't be here because he's now on holiday with Brit, and poor old Billie Joe has his own problems"
"And you?"
"Well Stevie has gone to her parents house for 2 weeks"
"Why didn't you go with her?"
"I'm heading off with Ramona to celebrate her birthday in New York"
"So you'll miss the People's Choice awards?"
"Yeah, but I won't miss the Grammys" He smiled I shook my head and laughed.
"Give me time"
"It's next month, you need to plan alot, what your wearing and shit like that"
"You have to make life difficult don't you" I sighed, Tré gave me a big bear hug.
"Aww"
'Standing on the rooftop,
Waiting till the bomb drops,
This is all we've got now,
Scream until your heart stops,
Never gonna regret,
Watching every sunset,
Listen to your heartbeat,
All the love that we've felt
Scream your heart out..'
"I'll give you an answer once I've figured my life out" Tré smiled sweetly at me and nodded, he then got off my couch and waved before leaving my house, I placed my head in my hands and thought 'Once I learn how to figure out my life out that is..'
"The cat's got hair all over you coat" My dad sighed, I shrugged.
"I don't care"
"You'll go to school looking stupid"
"I still don't care, neither does anyone at school"
"Well I do"
"It's my life"
"Not until your 18, till then it's my life and you listen and obey my orders"
'Yes master' I mutted under my breath looking away..3 more years until I own my life..how pathetic that I don't have a life till 18, so then i'm too lost and fucked up on how to run one.
I hate my father and will do till the day I die because he never let me have a life let alone live one.
Not more god damn flashbacks, I have too many problems let alone flashbacks of my horrible past..wait..isn't that what i'm trying to figure out?
What am I figuring out?
Why am I so confused?
Why have I been thinking back to bad days and not the good ones?
Maybe because I need to get over the bad by over looking the good..it was going to be hard though..I was a pessimist.
"No I don't think your a bad person" I said to Billie Joe over the his dinner table, he had invited everyone to a New Years Day feast, though I had arrived early so me and Billie were just relaxing.
"But..I don't know her..I know more about you then my wife" He shuddered when he said the word 'wife'.
"Well you know, we can't live life any better way than by following our hearts. Sometimes we get caught up in things, but the best way to leave a legacy is to always follow your heart, so that's what you should do..whats best..and that was really cheesy" Billie smiled, but he was confused, I could see it by his face expression everytime he drifted into his own world, I knew he was thinking about his situation with Violet, making his life harder if he wanted to choose whether to divorce or not.
"If I divorce her, that will be two marriages I've destroyed"
"You could make the marriage work, my suggestion is to just act like your not married and you're just going out, then get closer and closer and start to realise..you're married to her, she is your wife and she is your life"
Billie rested his head on the table and looked at me, he smiled sweetly, and said quietly, "Thanks", we heard footsteps approach us, and it was Violet, then Jakob came in the room looking miserable.
"Hey Jakob" I smiled as Jakob smiled and ran at me, he hugged me closely as Billie watched on smiling, realising I worked really well with kids, he then looked to Violet who was giving me evil looks, the phone rang and Billie went with Jakob to get it, leaving us alone.
"Hey Violet" I smiled, she just nodded and sat down.
"How close are you to Billie?" She asked me, I gave her a puzzled look then sighed.
"Like 3 months"
"You think you know him better then me?" Her tone of voice was sharp, her face expression was serious, why was she acting like this?
"Well..I would say no but since your acting like a bitch I might as well tell the truth and say no I don't think I know him better then you, I do know I know him better then you" I actually confused myself there..
"Well you're wrong"
"Oh please the only thing you know about Billie that I don't is how good he is in bed" She gasped and pointed her finger at me.
"Keep your hands off my husband"
"Or what? I'll get my germs over him?"
"Yeah and fucking AIDs"
"Only caught them from being in the same room as you, I mean come on what IS your problem? I haven't done fuck all to you" Why was she being so harsh? I said hello and she starts accusing me of stupid things, I mean me and Billie are good friends, and she's telling me I know him too much?
"Why does Billie talk to you, but not to me?! Just back off!"
"He was asking for advice on this whole saga and I don't think you could of helped, what are jealous or something?!"
"No of course not, i'm just concerned that your gonna hurt him"
"Well I'm not, end of story, what's your problem?"
"My problem is you, all Billie does is refer to you or talk to you"
"I've known him longer.." I stated out, what the fuck was she getting worked up about?
"Yeah but I love him, we're married"
"I know"
"You think you know everything don't you? You're just a stupid little bitch"
"Slow down there's a speed camera there"
"I know, what you think you know everything don't you, you stupid little bitch, you drive" My dad shouted at me as he let go of the steering wheel, I shook my head at him in disgust.
'I hate you' I thought as I looked ahead, my dad grasped the steering wheel and darted a car we could of crashed into.
Are all men like this?
I stood up for myself, I couldn't let her just shout verbal abuse at me.
"You think you know everything about your little hubby huh? You think your the one who knows him best? Well I'll tell you something, since I first met your husband we've been close friends, making each other laugh and smile..even telling each other everything, we helped each other through hard times, I tried to help with his marriage to Adrienne and I will not help with this fucking marriage because I fucking do not like you, and the fact you think you can just start fucking screaming and accusing me of being friends and being there for Billie Joe, when you know nothing..nothing about me or him, you have no right to call me a stupid bitch when you should just look in the god damn mirror and realise your talking about yourself" I breathed in and out, calming my self down, Violet's face went a deep shade of red and she swung her fist at my nose, I grabbed it moaning in pain.
"You fucking asshole" She mumbled, I clenched my fist together and threw her to the floor, punching her in the stomach, Billie Joe had walked in on us and broke us apart.
"Woah, what's happening?!"
"She started hitting me for no reason!" Violet cried out.
"You lying little bitch! She started yelling at me and then fucking punched my fricking nose!" I defended myself pointing at her violently, I then turned to Billie, so angry at all of this confusion.
"Who do you believe Billie? Me or your wife..?" Billie looked on confused, he could never make that choice, he silently gulped.
"None of you, I'm not picking either side"
"You don't believe your own wife?!" Violet screeched.
"Don't say that"
"What?! Why?!"
"I want a divorce..I'm sorry"
"You can't divorce me"
"Look Violet, Green Day fans know a hell of a lot more then you know about me and that's disturbing, I'm not ready for this kind of committment after what happened previously, I'm still broken up inside from it, this really isn't going to work, especially if you hate my best friend"
"Get over it" I rolled my eyes at Violet's sudden outburst.
"Get out of my house Violet" Billie sighed rubbing his forehead, she walked out with her head hanging low, once she had gone Billie turned to me and smiled.
"It wasn't like we was really married, especially because I couldn't even remember marrying her, I didn't know her that well and I-I'm not ready to be married again, to be joined to one person..thinking I could be let down again"
"Are you ready to just let go?"
"I heard the arguement from the hall" I started to blush, knowing he had heard my little speech.
"Oh" I looked away shyly.
"Thanks for what you said..it was..sweet"
"Ow" I said as the pain from my bruised nose hit my senses.
"I'll get some ice"
"Thanks" I closed my eyes shut and sat down on the dining room chair.
"Here ya go" Billie smiled as he put an ice pack over my nose, I jolted back as the cold froze my nose and hurt it even more.
"Owww"
"Wimp" Billie muttered under his breath.
"I heard that"
"You was meant to"
"Oh give me that!" I yelled grabbing the ice pack from Billie's hand, Billie held onto my hand, with the ice pack grasped between his and my hand.
"My hand's freezing Billie"
"I've frozen" Billie laughed as he blushed at me then looked away, taking his hand off mine and letting me take the ice pack.
"Jeez" I laughed quietly as Billie sat opposite me.
"What was that all about" I quirked an eyebrow to Billie as I gently lay the ice pack on my nose, squirming as I felt it tingle and strangly burn, Billie shrugged and let out a deep sigh.
"Great New Year this had turned out to be, I mean I've just got married and I'm getting a divorce"
"Don't then"
"Ah come on..she's not the kinda girl I like ok?"
"What you mean?" I narrowed my eyebrows and placed my head in my hand whilst the other one held the ice over my now deep red nose.
"She was too..nosy..perky..always asking me why I did this, why I did that, ya know?"
"I know" I smiled weakly as I listened.
"The morning we woke up and found out we was married, she didn't seem happy, I tried to make it work and tell her it could work out, but there was always the bad side with her, what will my friends say, what will my parents say, what will the media think? It didn't matter to me, I was willing to love her, set aside my fears of commitment and you know, just get ready to be married again, and quickly, but she didn't she only thought of the consequences..she also asked things about my friends, said stuff about them, said if we was going to make this marriage work I would have to not see my friends as much, not go on tour much, dedicate my jamming time to have time with her..I couldn't live with that, music is what keeps me alive, it's what pumps through my veins, and being with her..I don't think I could cope..I would rather..rather slit my wrists or hang from a noose then be married to her for another year" I could of fallen to sleep..but that would have been rude, I simply smiled to Billie and rested my free hand on Billie's.
"I'm here for you kay?"
"Your always here for me, I need to be there for you..it needs to be the other way round?"
"Why?" I laughed out looking into his eyes.
"Because your more special"
"Yeah..go on" I blushed, as I took my hand away from his and covered my face.
"No you are, you've had a worst past then me, I've just fucked mine up..you couldn't help yours and you need closure now"
"Which is why we're going in February..right?" Billie gave me a puzzled look before walking over to the kitchen calendar and looked to February.
"The 12th... 2 days after the People's Choice Awards, which Tré is missing... just me and Mike"
"12 days and I'm back home, where I can sell my house and get closure and properly say goodbye to my parents and that whole harsh life, maybe it will stop the dreams" I mumbled the last part but Billie still heard it.
"Dreams?"
"I keep on having disturbing dreams and flashbacks, like something trying to show me sign that it's still my life and I will never escape it" I rubbed my forehead and poked my nose, flinching back in pain when I did.
"Fuck!"
"You really shouldn't do that"
"Don't tell me what to do Billie Bo Bob"
"Billie..Bo..Bob?!"
"Yes"
"Well..fine then..Jenni..penny" I gave him a shocked look but a smile disolved onto my face as Billie gave me a retarded look.
"I'm worth a penny..awesome"
"You just don't sound right saying awesome in a British accent"
"You just don't sound awesome anyways" I said turning away and crossing my arms.
"Fine then" Billie did the same so we was both facing the other way, then after a moment of silence we both burst into a fit of laughter.
"God we're retarded, my kids act more mature then me"
"They don't take after you then"
"Nope" Billie gave me a lopsided smile then jumped off his seat and sat next to me.
"I think I'm going to a different divorce company..may look strange going in so soon"
"Yeh"
"It's awkard..I wish I could turn back time"
"How long?"
"Maybe..when I first saw you in the apartment, where I had just found out about Adie, I would have divorced her straight away..maybe tell Wade to not be with his family so you don't get fired"
"Yeh I still need a job"
"You could be a groupie"
"Hell yeah, stuck with you 24/7 on a cramped mini bus"
"You'd like it"
"No you would"
"Yes I would" I rolled my eyes and swatted Billie's arm.
"God I'm telling my mom!" He ran over to his house phone and pretend to dial up his mother.
"Yeah mom, a pretty girl in my kitchen is abusing me, please help!" Billie slammed the phone down and looked to me.
"Pretty?"
"Duh, your pretty..and special.."
"Are you flirting with me Mr. Armstrong?"
"Maybe.."
"What happened?"
"Did..we.." No sentences could escape their mouths as they were dumbfounded to find rings on both of their wedding fingers.
"We..did" Violet gulped and looked to Billie.
"Shiiiit" Billie Joe scratched his head and thought of what his next move was going to be.
"Well..where would you like to go on a honeymoon?" Billie laughed, Violet narrowed her eyes and turned away.
"You cannot be serious"
"The rings don't lie"
"This is so not right.."
"It feels so wierd"
I sat on my bed, day dreaming once again thinking of my past life with my family.
15 years old..already broken as I watched my dad say he hated my mother over and over again and wonder over to her who was writing some suduku, he tore up the paper and got closer to her face.
"Look at me when I'm talking bitch" He said through gritted teeth. "If you don't fucking get a job I'll fucking drag you done to your dad's by your hair till you fucking get one bitch, I want you to die Yvonne, why don't get you get a job?" My mother was curling hair, a habit at that had stuck by her, my dad got annoyed even more and spat out, "Stop curling your fucking hair, I'll fucking shave it all off, would you like that? What would it take for you to get a job you lazy bitch? Me to leave? I'll leave..I can, where will you be there then Yvonne? Fucking bitch"
He got up and sat in his seat, lighting a cigerette and inhaling the smoke which had made me have difficulting breathing, I was shaking, I hated it when he got worked up, but every time he did he got punished, like the next day his stomach would hurt or something stupid.
Times I wish he would always be nice, because I could live with him.
Sometimes I thought his anger covered his nice spells and out did them, it didn't even matter.
I hated him.
I hoped he would die.
Why?
He ruined my life.
Called me a piece of shit and destroyed it every single fucking day.
'It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy'
Out of no where I broke down, why did life have to be so bad? My bruised childhood left me scared and damaged for later life, I hadn't got a nice life, a good life. A supportive family not an abusive one is what I needed.
Friends helped me through a lot, they made me smile and got me through the day, but at the end of school I still had to face the home of misery.
I was glad to get a job in America because I thought I could run from my past, but it will always be stuck in my head.
My home phone rang out downstairs, I mumbled about having to walk all the way down stairs and I picked up the phone.
"Hello?" I sniffled and wiped some tears by my eyes.
"Hey, you okay?" Trust Tré to know somethings wrong.
"Just a bit of a hangover" I partly lied, I did have a hangover, but it wasn't why I was crying.
"So what you calling for?"
"Billie and Violet are in my house, asking me to help them sort out this mess"
"So they are married?"
"Yeah, and I don't think Violet is too pleased"
"I don't blame her"
"Oh come on Jen, you would lurve to marry Billie" I rolled my eyes and laughed nervously.
"Aw who told you?"
"My inner senses"
"Were they tingling?"
"Only when I'm standing next to you"
"Ewwww" I squeeled and laughed like a little kid.
"Okay I have a suprise"
"It is?"
"Come to your front door"
"Er - okay.." I opened the front door and screamed, I dropped my phone and it smashed on the carpet, Tré was standing infront of me looking smug, he noticed my red puffy eyes and walked inside, closing the door for me and sighing.
"It's not a hangover is it..now let me ask again and tell me the honest truth, are you okay?" I hesistated and paused, but decided it was best to tell him.
"No, everythings so wrong"
"Why?"
"I keep on thinking back to my old life and I realise I'm still in that life, I can't escape it because it is my life"
"Well..time to start a new one sweety, it's the first day of a new year.."
"It feels like something is holding me back, I can't describe it, I don't want to describe it"
"Well don't, just let go..or maybe you need to go back home and make amends" I shrugged and gave a weak smile to Tré, we were sitting on my couch and I rested my head on his shoulder.
"Thanks for being here for me"
"No problem, I know that Mike won't be here because he's now on holiday with Brit, and poor old Billie Joe has his own problems"
"And you?"
"Well Stevie has gone to her parents house for 2 weeks"
"Why didn't you go with her?"
"I'm heading off with Ramona to celebrate her birthday in New York"
"So you'll miss the People's Choice awards?"
"Yeah, but I won't miss the Grammys" He smiled I shook my head and laughed.
"Give me time"
"It's next month, you need to plan alot, what your wearing and shit like that"
"You have to make life difficult don't you" I sighed, Tré gave me a big bear hug.
"Aww"
'Standing on the rooftop,
Waiting till the bomb drops,
This is all we've got now,
Scream until your heart stops,
Never gonna regret,
Watching every sunset,
Listen to your heartbeat,
All the love that we've felt
Scream your heart out..'
"I'll give you an answer once I've figured my life out" Tré smiled sweetly at me and nodded, he then got off my couch and waved before leaving my house, I placed my head in my hands and thought 'Once I learn how to figure out my life out that is..'
"The cat's got hair all over you coat" My dad sighed, I shrugged.
"I don't care"
"You'll go to school looking stupid"
"I still don't care, neither does anyone at school"
"Well I do"
"It's my life"
"Not until your 18, till then it's my life and you listen and obey my orders"
'Yes master' I mutted under my breath looking away..3 more years until I own my life..how pathetic that I don't have a life till 18, so then i'm too lost and fucked up on how to run one.
I hate my father and will do till the day I die because he never let me have a life let alone live one.
Not more god damn flashbacks, I have too many problems let alone flashbacks of my horrible past..wait..isn't that what i'm trying to figure out?
What am I figuring out?
Why am I so confused?
Why have I been thinking back to bad days and not the good ones?
Maybe because I need to get over the bad by over looking the good..it was going to be hard though..I was a pessimist.
"No I don't think your a bad person" I said to Billie Joe over the his dinner table, he had invited everyone to a New Years Day feast, though I had arrived early so me and Billie were just relaxing.
"But..I don't know her..I know more about you then my wife" He shuddered when he said the word 'wife'.
"Well you know, we can't live life any better way than by following our hearts. Sometimes we get caught up in things, but the best way to leave a legacy is to always follow your heart, so that's what you should do..whats best..and that was really cheesy" Billie smiled, but he was confused, I could see it by his face expression everytime he drifted into his own world, I knew he was thinking about his situation with Violet, making his life harder if he wanted to choose whether to divorce or not.
"If I divorce her, that will be two marriages I've destroyed"
"You could make the marriage work, my suggestion is to just act like your not married and you're just going out, then get closer and closer and start to realise..you're married to her, she is your wife and she is your life"
Billie rested his head on the table and looked at me, he smiled sweetly, and said quietly, "Thanks", we heard footsteps approach us, and it was Violet, then Jakob came in the room looking miserable.
"Hey Jakob" I smiled as Jakob smiled and ran at me, he hugged me closely as Billie watched on smiling, realising I worked really well with kids, he then looked to Violet who was giving me evil looks, the phone rang and Billie went with Jakob to get it, leaving us alone.
"Hey Violet" I smiled, she just nodded and sat down.
"How close are you to Billie?" She asked me, I gave her a puzzled look then sighed.
"Like 3 months"
"You think you know him better then me?" Her tone of voice was sharp, her face expression was serious, why was she acting like this?
"Well..I would say no but since your acting like a bitch I might as well tell the truth and say no I don't think I know him better then you, I do know I know him better then you" I actually confused myself there..
"Well you're wrong"
"Oh please the only thing you know about Billie that I don't is how good he is in bed" She gasped and pointed her finger at me.
"Keep your hands off my husband"
"Or what? I'll get my germs over him?"
"Yeah and fucking AIDs"
"Only caught them from being in the same room as you, I mean come on what IS your problem? I haven't done fuck all to you" Why was she being so harsh? I said hello and she starts accusing me of stupid things, I mean me and Billie are good friends, and she's telling me I know him too much?
"Why does Billie talk to you, but not to me?! Just back off!"
"He was asking for advice on this whole saga and I don't think you could of helped, what are jealous or something?!"
"No of course not, i'm just concerned that your gonna hurt him"
"Well I'm not, end of story, what's your problem?"
"My problem is you, all Billie does is refer to you or talk to you"
"I've known him longer.." I stated out, what the fuck was she getting worked up about?
"Yeah but I love him, we're married"
"I know"
"You think you know everything don't you? You're just a stupid little bitch"
"Slow down there's a speed camera there"
"I know, what you think you know everything don't you, you stupid little bitch, you drive" My dad shouted at me as he let go of the steering wheel, I shook my head at him in disgust.
'I hate you' I thought as I looked ahead, my dad grasped the steering wheel and darted a car we could of crashed into.
Are all men like this?
I stood up for myself, I couldn't let her just shout verbal abuse at me.
"You think you know everything about your little hubby huh? You think your the one who knows him best? Well I'll tell you something, since I first met your husband we've been close friends, making each other laugh and smile..even telling each other everything, we helped each other through hard times, I tried to help with his marriage to Adrienne and I will not help with this fucking marriage because I fucking do not like you, and the fact you think you can just start fucking screaming and accusing me of being friends and being there for Billie Joe, when you know nothing..nothing about me or him, you have no right to call me a stupid bitch when you should just look in the god damn mirror and realise your talking about yourself" I breathed in and out, calming my self down, Violet's face went a deep shade of red and she swung her fist at my nose, I grabbed it moaning in pain.
"You fucking asshole" She mumbled, I clenched my fist together and threw her to the floor, punching her in the stomach, Billie Joe had walked in on us and broke us apart.
"Woah, what's happening?!"
"She started hitting me for no reason!" Violet cried out.
"You lying little bitch! She started yelling at me and then fucking punched my fricking nose!" I defended myself pointing at her violently, I then turned to Billie, so angry at all of this confusion.
"Who do you believe Billie? Me or your wife..?" Billie looked on confused, he could never make that choice, he silently gulped.
"None of you, I'm not picking either side"
"You don't believe your own wife?!" Violet screeched.
"Don't say that"
"What?! Why?!"
"I want a divorce..I'm sorry"
"You can't divorce me"
"Look Violet, Green Day fans know a hell of a lot more then you know about me and that's disturbing, I'm not ready for this kind of committment after what happened previously, I'm still broken up inside from it, this really isn't going to work, especially if you hate my best friend"
"Get over it" I rolled my eyes at Violet's sudden outburst.
"Get out of my house Violet" Billie sighed rubbing his forehead, she walked out with her head hanging low, once she had gone Billie turned to me and smiled.
"It wasn't like we was really married, especially because I couldn't even remember marrying her, I didn't know her that well and I-I'm not ready to be married again, to be joined to one person..thinking I could be let down again"
"Are you ready to just let go?"
"I heard the arguement from the hall" I started to blush, knowing he had heard my little speech.
"Oh" I looked away shyly.
"Thanks for what you said..it was..sweet"
"Ow" I said as the pain from my bruised nose hit my senses.
"I'll get some ice"
"Thanks" I closed my eyes shut and sat down on the dining room chair.
"Here ya go" Billie smiled as he put an ice pack over my nose, I jolted back as the cold froze my nose and hurt it even more.
"Owww"
"Wimp" Billie muttered under his breath.
"I heard that"
"You was meant to"
"Oh give me that!" I yelled grabbing the ice pack from Billie's hand, Billie held onto my hand, with the ice pack grasped between his and my hand.
"My hand's freezing Billie"
"I've frozen" Billie laughed as he blushed at me then looked away, taking his hand off mine and letting me take the ice pack.
"Jeez" I laughed quietly as Billie sat opposite me.
"What was that all about" I quirked an eyebrow to Billie as I gently lay the ice pack on my nose, squirming as I felt it tingle and strangly burn, Billie shrugged and let out a deep sigh.
"Great New Year this had turned out to be, I mean I've just got married and I'm getting a divorce"
"Don't then"
"Ah come on..she's not the kinda girl I like ok?"
"What you mean?" I narrowed my eyebrows and placed my head in my hand whilst the other one held the ice over my now deep red nose.
"She was too..nosy..perky..always asking me why I did this, why I did that, ya know?"
"I know" I smiled weakly as I listened.
"The morning we woke up and found out we was married, she didn't seem happy, I tried to make it work and tell her it could work out, but there was always the bad side with her, what will my friends say, what will my parents say, what will the media think? It didn't matter to me, I was willing to love her, set aside my fears of commitment and you know, just get ready to be married again, and quickly, but she didn't she only thought of the consequences..she also asked things about my friends, said stuff about them, said if we was going to make this marriage work I would have to not see my friends as much, not go on tour much, dedicate my jamming time to have time with her..I couldn't live with that, music is what keeps me alive, it's what pumps through my veins, and being with her..I don't think I could cope..I would rather..rather slit my wrists or hang from a noose then be married to her for another year" I could of fallen to sleep..but that would have been rude, I simply smiled to Billie and rested my free hand on Billie's.
"I'm here for you kay?"
"Your always here for me, I need to be there for you..it needs to be the other way round?"
"Why?" I laughed out looking into his eyes.
"Because your more special"
"Yeah..go on" I blushed, as I took my hand away from his and covered my face.
"No you are, you've had a worst past then me, I've just fucked mine up..you couldn't help yours and you need closure now"
"Which is why we're going in February..right?" Billie gave me a puzzled look before walking over to the kitchen calendar and looked to February.
"The 12th... 2 days after the People's Choice Awards, which Tré is missing... just me and Mike"
"12 days and I'm back home, where I can sell my house and get closure and properly say goodbye to my parents and that whole harsh life, maybe it will stop the dreams" I mumbled the last part but Billie still heard it.
"Dreams?"
"I keep on having disturbing dreams and flashbacks, like something trying to show me sign that it's still my life and I will never escape it" I rubbed my forehead and poked my nose, flinching back in pain when I did.
"Fuck!"
"You really shouldn't do that"
"Don't tell me what to do Billie Bo Bob"
"Billie..Bo..Bob?!"
"Yes"
"Well..fine then..Jenni..penny" I gave him a shocked look but a smile disolved onto my face as Billie gave me a retarded look.
"I'm worth a penny..awesome"
"You just don't sound right saying awesome in a British accent"
"You just don't sound awesome anyways" I said turning away and crossing my arms.
"Fine then" Billie did the same so we was both facing the other way, then after a moment of silence we both burst into a fit of laughter.
"God we're retarded, my kids act more mature then me"
"They don't take after you then"
"Nope" Billie gave me a lopsided smile then jumped off his seat and sat next to me.
"I think I'm going to a different divorce company..may look strange going in so soon"
"Yeh"
"It's awkard..I wish I could turn back time"
"How long?"
"Maybe..when I first saw you in the apartment, where I had just found out about Adie, I would have divorced her straight away..maybe tell Wade to not be with his family so you don't get fired"
"Yeh I still need a job"
"You could be a groupie"
"Hell yeah, stuck with you 24/7 on a cramped mini bus"
"You'd like it"
"No you would"
"Yes I would" I rolled my eyes and swatted Billie's arm.
"God I'm telling my mom!" He ran over to his house phone and pretend to dial up his mother.
"Yeah mom, a pretty girl in my kitchen is abusing me, please help!" Billie slammed the phone down and looked to me.
"Pretty?"
"Duh, your pretty..and special.."
"Are you flirting with me Mr. Armstrong?"
"Maybe.."
