Basket Case, chapter 2
A month later, and Billie is lying on the couch. The psychiatrist is practically ecstatic, feeding off the energy of this punk star. Now she had a patient to show off about at dinner parties. Who would have guessed, Billie Joe Armstrong lying on her couch! And just think of the job opportunit-
"So?"
"Um... What?" answered the shrink, snapping back to earth.
"I'm no expert, but shouldn't you be asking me about my childhood and how I feel about it or something?" asked Billie, confused and a little irritated. He had been lying here for five minutes while the psychiatrist stared at him, went pinker and pinker and steamed her glasses up in silence. "I mean, I am paying for this... "
"Ah yes, of course, of course. So... What's your problem?"
"Umm... Well, let me think. Let's pretend I haven't sent a brief beforehand explaining my problems, the kind of treatment I need and a deposit." Billie fired back.
"It's customary to hear it from the patient. The first step is admitting you have a problem."
"I have! Otherwise I wouldn't be here, would I?"
There was a bit of a pause.
Billie cleared his throat.
"Well, I drink a bit more than I should, I guess... I only came here 'cos my wife told me to... "
"And how do you feel about that?"
"Well, obviously I want to quit drinking... "
"I see." She stopped and scribbled in her notebook, purely for effect. "Well, we have an extensive range-"
"I'm not here for the advertisements. I just need help." He paused. "Badly." He put his head in his hands. "My family life is way out of whack. The kids think I'm crazy, Adrienne doesn't understand me anymore... And sometimes I get so pissed I wake up naked on a bench somewhere in the middle of Oakland with some old Chinese guy licking my foot. That's how bad I need help."
"Well, we cleared the first hurdle!" said the shrink with as much gusto as she could muster. Maybe she wouldn't bring him up in the middle of dinner parties.
"What's that?"
"Admitting you have a problem, of course!"
"I told you! If I didn't think I had a problem I wouldn't have come to you! I've already admitted it!"
"No, I don't think you understand-"
"I understand perfectly well! Why do you think I'm even here, you good-for-nothing quack?"
There was a pause.
The shrink cleared her throat.
"And... How do you feel about that?"
"You're hopeless!" Billie stormed out of the shrink's office. So much for that.
"So?"
"Um... What?" answered the shrink, snapping back to earth.
"I'm no expert, but shouldn't you be asking me about my childhood and how I feel about it or something?" asked Billie, confused and a little irritated. He had been lying here for five minutes while the psychiatrist stared at him, went pinker and pinker and steamed her glasses up in silence. "I mean, I am paying for this... "
"Ah yes, of course, of course. So... What's your problem?"
"Umm... Well, let me think. Let's pretend I haven't sent a brief beforehand explaining my problems, the kind of treatment I need and a deposit." Billie fired back.
"It's customary to hear it from the patient. The first step is admitting you have a problem."
"I have! Otherwise I wouldn't be here, would I?"
There was a bit of a pause.
Billie cleared his throat.
"Well, I drink a bit more than I should, I guess... I only came here 'cos my wife told me to... "
"And how do you feel about that?"
"Well, obviously I want to quit drinking... "
"I see." She stopped and scribbled in her notebook, purely for effect. "Well, we have an extensive range-"
"I'm not here for the advertisements. I just need help." He paused. "Badly." He put his head in his hands. "My family life is way out of whack. The kids think I'm crazy, Adrienne doesn't understand me anymore... And sometimes I get so pissed I wake up naked on a bench somewhere in the middle of Oakland with some old Chinese guy licking my foot. That's how bad I need help."
"Well, we cleared the first hurdle!" said the shrink with as much gusto as she could muster. Maybe she wouldn't bring him up in the middle of dinner parties.
"What's that?"
"Admitting you have a problem, of course!"
"I told you! If I didn't think I had a problem I wouldn't have come to you! I've already admitted it!"
"No, I don't think you understand-"
"I understand perfectly well! Why do you think I'm even here, you good-for-nothing quack?"
There was a pause.
The shrink cleared her throat.
"And... How do you feel about that?"
"You're hopeless!" Billie stormed out of the shrink's office. So much for that.
