Tre it's Called a Wedding Cake, chapter 5
A crowd was gathering around the circular serving table in the corner, Tre was standing behind it chucking the bowls of sauces on the floor and replacing them with hundreds of shot glasses that seemed to be coming from behind him. Mike shot Sarah a confused look and they got up to join the crowd.
As they got nearer Mike saw Billie Joe standing next to Tre with his various limbs draped across the pretty bridesmaid he'd had the hots for earlier. Behind Tre there was a girl who was handing him the shot glasses from a silver tray that had obviously been stolen from the bar. Tre placed shot glasses around the table in three vertical lines then whipped out two bottles of vodka with shot pourers attached. Mike sighed, he knew what was coming, and pushing his way to Billie Joe he yelled,
"Tre! Don't you dare!"
Tre, needless to say ignored him and stood up on a chair that was sat next to him, He cleared his throat, "Ahem! Hey! Since this is a very special occasion me and Liz... " he glanced at the girl behind him, Mike followed his eye line then realised he had lost Sarah in the rush, he started to scan the crowd for her but was failing miserably,
"... Have decided to put up the very, very special 'LAW' game, and as we all know what a booze queen the bride is, she is going to take part with me and my good friend, Cousin Billie Joe."
To Billie this was the first he'd heard of this, he watched the bride soak up the applause and laughter as she walked over to Tre, Billie swallowed, he wasn't seriously going to be made to play this god damn game was he?
He felt Lou nudge him in the ribs then push him forwards, he shot Tre a snarl, "No way!" he spat.
Tre jumped off the chair, "Yes way, now get here, where's Mike he needs to pour?" Tre pushed passed Billie and grabbed Mike who was still craning his neck for Sarah.
Mike had been positioned at the side of the table with two bottles of vodka at his side and a pot of some mysterious substance. Mike felt good whirling the bottles around, he felt like Tom Cruise in cocktail, "Woo Yeah," he let out a little yelp of excitement as he successfully caught one flying bottle across his neck. The crowd clapped, Tre frowned,
"Anyway... 'LAW' was devised brilliantly by me one night... "
"When he was stoned," Billie muttered, feeling his insides churn at the task ahead, he glanced at Lou who was clapping him on as Tre introduced each contestant, "Crap" The singer thought, "No way out of it now."
"The aim of the game," Tre continued is to listen to the clash song. "I fought the war and every time the word 'law' is said you have to take a shot, but if you take a shot when law is not said, our vodka master over here, Mike... will add something a little special to the extra shot you have to take for getting it wrong."
Tre pointed to the pot, the crowd 'ooooooo' at the substance.
"Damn," Billie thought, "Tre could be a game show host."
"The prize," Tre grinned... "Is something very special," Billie swallowed at this as Tre exchanged an evil grin with Liz.
"So!" Tre yelled, "If Liz can play the song, we can start."
It wasn't pretty, the game was brutal, Billie forced each shot down his neck when law was uttered, for the first time, It seemed that halfway through the blistering 38 shots of this game, that Adele didn't know the song too well, and her extra shots where piling up for the end. Billie had started to figure that after this 26th one he would just down them really fast, which wasn't really that good of an idea as he took a shot thinking law would be next but Joe Strummer failed to sing it and his extra shots were also starting to pile up.
Billie eyed Tre in the break, he had obviously been practising, Tre was getting applauded for every shot and he had now developed a strategy of slamming the empty glass on the table and doing a little happy dance.
Billie felt his guts rise in his throat he gagged, the shot glasses where difficult to grab now after Mike's bar skills weren't what they thought he was and ended up spilling the vodka all over everywhere, he looked the part but didn't really have the elbow grease to do it.
Talking of elbow grease, Billie's arm was refusing to bring the glass to his lips, it was getting harder and harder to shot each one, number 34, four left and he had to get ready for the knotty end of "I fought the law and the law won, I fought the law and the law won, I fought the law and the... "
Billie hated this song now, his time delay extra shots wee building up, Tre also seemed to have a few which perked him up a bit. Adele, the bride, looked green, and her penalty shots were making Billie feel ill.
The crowd started to yell out 'law' with the song, laughing and clapping Billie found the strength to shoot the last few...
35... 36... 37... 38... FINISHED!
Billie collapsed forward on the table, it was clear that Adele the bride had lost, the punishment shots were looking a very unappetising orange and Billie groaned as Tre jumped on him, disturbing his sickly stomach.
"WOO YEAH I WIN, I WIN, WOOOO!" Tre sang jumping around kissing everyone that he could reach,
"Err... Tre... Billie wins" Mike spoke softly,
"WHAT? NO HE DOESN'T!"
"He does, he has less penalty shots than you... you fizzled at the end man,"
Tre's face dropped as the crowd laughed, "WHAT?"
"I WIN?" Billie started laughing then looked at his four penalty shots and Tre's 6, "I WIN I WIN I WIN I FUCKING WIN! FUCK YOU! I FUCKED UP MY LIVER BUT I BEAT YOU COOL! KISS MY ASS!"
Billie smacked it hard in front of Tre, who was now pouting like a puppy dog, Tre's eyes then darted to the bride Adele who was looking sick and eyeing her penalty shots nervously.
"PENALTY SHOTS!" Tre shouted causing everyone to jump. "Ladies first," Tre smiled evilly at the bride, who picked up the first glass.
"Do it all quick that's best," Billie helpfully added, she nodded and forced the drinks down one after another, her face dropped half way through and she clutched her throat, her eyes went huge and she whizzed out the room coughing, a few people followed her.
Billie looked at Tre worriedly, "What's in that man?"
"You just do your four then I'll do mine!"
Billie picked up his first shot and eyed it carefully, he chucked it back quickly, pausing for a moment, nothing happened suddenly so he shrugged and did the other three and quick as possible. He removed the third glass from his lips and clutched his throat. BURNING. Harsh burning, his mouth and oesophagus was on fire, he looked around the room for relief and spotted flowers in a vase on the next table. Rushing over he whipped out the roses and downed the flower vase. Gasping he wiped his dribbling chin and looked at Tre through the laughing crowd, he gasped hoarsely,
"CHILLI? FUCKING CHILLI?" Tre laughed along with everyone else, he nodded as he couldn't speak from chuckling, and even Mike was wetting himself at the look on his singers face.
Billie marched over to the drummer fuming; Tre swallowed a laugh and stood up straight
"Yeah Billie Joe... want your prize now?" Tre's eyebrow rose,
"Do I?" Billie asked feeling even more sick... he looked around the room scanning for Lou who was laughing with everyone else; he looked back at Tre,
"What is it?"
"Well chilli boy it's... "
As they got nearer Mike saw Billie Joe standing next to Tre with his various limbs draped across the pretty bridesmaid he'd had the hots for earlier. Behind Tre there was a girl who was handing him the shot glasses from a silver tray that had obviously been stolen from the bar. Tre placed shot glasses around the table in three vertical lines then whipped out two bottles of vodka with shot pourers attached. Mike sighed, he knew what was coming, and pushing his way to Billie Joe he yelled,
"Tre! Don't you dare!"
Tre, needless to say ignored him and stood up on a chair that was sat next to him, He cleared his throat, "Ahem! Hey! Since this is a very special occasion me and Liz... " he glanced at the girl behind him, Mike followed his eye line then realised he had lost Sarah in the rush, he started to scan the crowd for her but was failing miserably,
"... Have decided to put up the very, very special 'LAW' game, and as we all know what a booze queen the bride is, she is going to take part with me and my good friend, Cousin Billie Joe."
To Billie this was the first he'd heard of this, he watched the bride soak up the applause and laughter as she walked over to Tre, Billie swallowed, he wasn't seriously going to be made to play this god damn game was he?
He felt Lou nudge him in the ribs then push him forwards, he shot Tre a snarl, "No way!" he spat.
Tre jumped off the chair, "Yes way, now get here, where's Mike he needs to pour?" Tre pushed passed Billie and grabbed Mike who was still craning his neck for Sarah.
Mike had been positioned at the side of the table with two bottles of vodka at his side and a pot of some mysterious substance. Mike felt good whirling the bottles around, he felt like Tom Cruise in cocktail, "Woo Yeah," he let out a little yelp of excitement as he successfully caught one flying bottle across his neck. The crowd clapped, Tre frowned,
"Anyway... 'LAW' was devised brilliantly by me one night... "
"When he was stoned," Billie muttered, feeling his insides churn at the task ahead, he glanced at Lou who was clapping him on as Tre introduced each contestant, "Crap" The singer thought, "No way out of it now."
"The aim of the game," Tre continued is to listen to the clash song. "I fought the war and every time the word 'law' is said you have to take a shot, but if you take a shot when law is not said, our vodka master over here, Mike... will add something a little special to the extra shot you have to take for getting it wrong."
Tre pointed to the pot, the crowd 'ooooooo' at the substance.
"Damn," Billie thought, "Tre could be a game show host."
"The prize," Tre grinned... "Is something very special," Billie swallowed at this as Tre exchanged an evil grin with Liz.
"So!" Tre yelled, "If Liz can play the song, we can start."
It wasn't pretty, the game was brutal, Billie forced each shot down his neck when law was uttered, for the first time, It seemed that halfway through the blistering 38 shots of this game, that Adele didn't know the song too well, and her extra shots where piling up for the end. Billie had started to figure that after this 26th one he would just down them really fast, which wasn't really that good of an idea as he took a shot thinking law would be next but Joe Strummer failed to sing it and his extra shots were also starting to pile up.
Billie eyed Tre in the break, he had obviously been practising, Tre was getting applauded for every shot and he had now developed a strategy of slamming the empty glass on the table and doing a little happy dance.
Billie felt his guts rise in his throat he gagged, the shot glasses where difficult to grab now after Mike's bar skills weren't what they thought he was and ended up spilling the vodka all over everywhere, he looked the part but didn't really have the elbow grease to do it.
Talking of elbow grease, Billie's arm was refusing to bring the glass to his lips, it was getting harder and harder to shot each one, number 34, four left and he had to get ready for the knotty end of "I fought the law and the law won, I fought the law and the law won, I fought the law and the... "
Billie hated this song now, his time delay extra shots wee building up, Tre also seemed to have a few which perked him up a bit. Adele, the bride, looked green, and her penalty shots were making Billie feel ill.
The crowd started to yell out 'law' with the song, laughing and clapping Billie found the strength to shoot the last few...
35... 36... 37... 38... FINISHED!
Billie collapsed forward on the table, it was clear that Adele the bride had lost, the punishment shots were looking a very unappetising orange and Billie groaned as Tre jumped on him, disturbing his sickly stomach.
"WOO YEAH I WIN, I WIN, WOOOO!" Tre sang jumping around kissing everyone that he could reach,
"Err... Tre... Billie wins" Mike spoke softly,
"WHAT? NO HE DOESN'T!"
"He does, he has less penalty shots than you... you fizzled at the end man,"
Tre's face dropped as the crowd laughed, "WHAT?"
"I WIN?" Billie started laughing then looked at his four penalty shots and Tre's 6, "I WIN I WIN I WIN I FUCKING WIN! FUCK YOU! I FUCKED UP MY LIVER BUT I BEAT YOU COOL! KISS MY ASS!"
Billie smacked it hard in front of Tre, who was now pouting like a puppy dog, Tre's eyes then darted to the bride Adele who was looking sick and eyeing her penalty shots nervously.
"PENALTY SHOTS!" Tre shouted causing everyone to jump. "Ladies first," Tre smiled evilly at the bride, who picked up the first glass.
"Do it all quick that's best," Billie helpfully added, she nodded and forced the drinks down one after another, her face dropped half way through and she clutched her throat, her eyes went huge and she whizzed out the room coughing, a few people followed her.
Billie looked at Tre worriedly, "What's in that man?"
"You just do your four then I'll do mine!"
Billie picked up his first shot and eyed it carefully, he chucked it back quickly, pausing for a moment, nothing happened suddenly so he shrugged and did the other three and quick as possible. He removed the third glass from his lips and clutched his throat. BURNING. Harsh burning, his mouth and oesophagus was on fire, he looked around the room for relief and spotted flowers in a vase on the next table. Rushing over he whipped out the roses and downed the flower vase. Gasping he wiped his dribbling chin and looked at Tre through the laughing crowd, he gasped hoarsely,
"CHILLI? FUCKING CHILLI?" Tre laughed along with everyone else, he nodded as he couldn't speak from chuckling, and even Mike was wetting himself at the look on his singers face.
Billie marched over to the drummer fuming; Tre swallowed a laugh and stood up straight
"Yeah Billie Joe... want your prize now?" Tre's eyebrow rose,
"Do I?" Billie asked feeling even more sick... he looked around the room scanning for Lou who was laughing with everyone else; he looked back at Tre,
"What is it?"
"Well chilli boy it's... "
